Page 20

Ten

CIANA

O ur water supply ran dangerously low, but the underground tunnel wouldn’t end.

Seeing the skeleton of the scorpion lifted our hope. The creatures apparently lived on the surface, rarely descending underground. We hoped the exit from the caves was near. But the longer we walked, the more apparent it became that we had to spend another day without seeing the sky.

As we settled down for sleep, I insisted on taking the first watch.

Kurai left me a chronometer that counted down time by sifting sand through a glass tube.

Every hour, all sand would reach the bottom of the curved tube, then with a soft click, the chronometer would flip upside down and a tiny hexagon would mark that an hour had passed.

I couldn’t remember exactly how many clicks I’d heard, with my head bobbing and my eyes closing from exhaustion. Kurai’s soft breathing and the warmth of his body pressed to mine eventually made sleep impossible to fight.

I tilted sideways, then dropped on top of him.

“Sorry,” I muttered, giving up .

“It’s fine. I’m awake,” he replied, releasing me from my watching duties.

I snuggled against his chest, and he hugged me to him.

His scent surrounded me. It was fresh and warm like the desert under the open sky—a dark night sky with green stars in it…green like his eyes.

Suddenly, we weren’t in the caves anymore but in a tent somewhere. Strings of golden lights shone under the tent’s roof. We sat on the cushions on a thick rug with trays of food in the middle.

“We made it?” I gasped, looking around. “Did we find the well with the oasis?”

“We did.” Kurai smiled, lifting a golden carafe to fill my cup.

He looked like he did back in the queen’s sarai, dressed in a beige skirt. Only all his gold strips and bangles were gone, even the collar was no longer there. His hair was unbound too, falling to his shoulders in thick, soft curls.

Instead of a cup, I opened my mouth and leaned toward him.

“I’m so thirsty,” I said. “I can’t wait for you to fill the cup. Just pour it in like this.”

And he did.

Cool, clean water ran from the curved spout of the carafe straight into my mouth. I drank greedily, and the more I drank, the more I wanted.

The water ran down my chin, then splashed my chest. I tossed my braids back.

“You spilled it,” Kurai scolded me softly.

Reaching for me, he cupped my breast. With his thumb, he brushed off a drop of water that was clinging to my nipple.

Desire surged through me. It felt so good to feel alive again. I moaned, cupping the back of his neck and bringing him closer.

The food disappeared somewhere. The trays and the dishes were gone. Kurai lowered me into the cushions on the rug.

“I’m thirsty too,” he said, “but this is the only water left now.”

He licked his wet thumb, then lowered his head to lick my left breast. Rivulets of water ran over me as if someone was still pouring it down my body. And Kurai lapped at it, dragging his tongue over my skin, then swirling it around my nipple.

“My sweet, precious Ciana,” he murmured. “I can’t get enough of you. I’ll never get enough of you.”

Desire flooded my body. Heat pooled between my thighs. I moaned, arching my back.

“It feels so good, Kurai. Can you feel it? Do you feel it too?” I opened my legs, hiking up my skirt, needing more. “Touch me, please. Touch me everywhere.”

“Sweetheart?” His voice sounded different this time, with a subtle rasp. A warm hand cupped the side of my face. “Are you awake?”

I opened my eyes to find him leaning over me. My legs were bent, my skirt hiked up, my core throbbing.

We were still in the caves, still trying to get out. But now, I was also horny beyond belief.

“I’ve never felt such pure, undiluted desire,” Kurai murmured, stroking my cheek with his thumb. “Your need is intoxicating, my sweet girl. Please, let me taste it all the way to its completion.”

It was invigorating to feel like this again. I wanted him. I’d wanted him for a long time now.

“Kiss me, the way lovers kiss,” he begged, stroking the side of my face with the tips of his fingers.

“You’ve never been with a woman before?” I asked.

“No. But I want to now. I want you.”

“Is it because I want you?”

“Yes.”

He’d never been kissed until I kissed him. He’d never been touched until I touched him. He’d never felt aroused until his tendrils allowed him to feel my arousal.

None of the emotions he was feeling right now were his. They were mine.

Was that enough?

If he retracted his tendrils, he’d feel nothing .

And it didn’t feel right.

“Please, Ciana, please don’t let doubt kill this. It feels too beautiful to end it.”

I remembered how beautiful it used to feel before too. Three years ago. With another man. Until it turned so terribly ugly.

I closed my eyes with a painful swallow.

“You don’t trust me?” Kurai asked, sensing my fear.

“I don’t trust myself,” I exhaled.

I didn’t trust my own feelings. They had led me astray before.

“Tell me how you will feel about us when we’re no longer connected by these.” I touched his tendril in my arm.

He frowned, staring at the tendril as if seeing it for the first time.

“You’re scared,” he stated, accurately reading my emotions.

“Yes.” I nodded. “For more than one reason.”

Catching one of my braids, he leaned away from me to sit up. The braid ran between his fingers, until it ended and fell back on my chest. It felt like something dropped in our connection too. Like some bricks of a bridge fell out, risking its entire structure.

My heart ached, cracking and breaking too.

“Kurai, please…” I rushed to explain. “You mean so much to me. I…I don’t want to lose you over this.”

His eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“Lose me? Why would you lose me?” His eyes flicked between mine as if trying to read me. “I know what you’re feeling. I’m just confused about why.”

“Are you not angry?”

He didn’t look angry, but the years of marriage had shown me how badly some men handled a rejection or even the slightest confrontation.

“Why would you think that I am?” A moment later, he exhaled in understanding. “Because you knew someone who would be, is that it?”

I winced at those memories but said nothing, not wishing to recount them out loud .

“Ciana…” Gathering me in his arms, he dragged me onto his lap. “You don’t owe me pleasure. In fact, you don’t owe it to anyone. You do what feels right for you. I’ll never force you to go against your conscience or comfort. And I’ll never think less of you or care less about you, no matter what.”

Relief flooded me. Every muscle in my body relaxed from his words, and I realized how tense I’d been until he said them.

“You really aren’t angry then?”

“No.” He leaned his forehead to mine. “I don’t know if you noticed, my sweet Ciana, but I don’t get angry very easily.”

That was true. I hadn’t thought about it before, but subconsciously or not, I had sensed his even temper. That was one of the many reasons why I gravitated to him in the first place—safety and stability of his company.

With Kurai, I never stressed about trying to predict his moods. I didn’t need to feel anxious about inadvertently setting off a tantrum. In the entire time that I knew him, he’d never even raised his voice at me, and we’d been through some very stressful situations in the past week and a half.

I stroked up his arm with my fingers, watching the shimmer of his fae magic spread along his skin in the wake of my touch.

“I really feel like kissing you right now,” I murmured, gaining courage in our mutual honesty. “But I’m afraid to give you any mixed signals, because I’m not ready for anything more than just a kiss yet.”

“I’ll never say no to a kiss from you,” he said eagerly. “I’ll take a kiss, and I’ll wait for more if and when you’re ready to give it.”

God, I didn’t deserve this man. But if he still wanted me with all the shadows from my past and the heavy weight of my fears, I was keeping him.

“Is it okay if it won’t be one of those ‘like lovers kiss’ kisses? What if it’s more of a friendly than a sexy kind?”

With a finger under my chin, he tipped my face up to his.

“Just kiss me already, little tease,” he chuckled, leaning closer. “Remember, I feel exactly how much you want it. ”

I smiled against his lips, closing my eyes. It ended up falling somewhere in the middle between a friendly and a sexy kiss—on the lips, but with no tongue.

And it was just perfect.

After hours and hours of walking through the endless underground caves and tunnels, time became an abstract concept.

I walked, unsure for how long. I stopped for breaks when Kurai told me to and did my best to move again when he pushed ahead.

We’d run out of water. My head felt fuzzy.

My throat was dry like the desert floor.

My tongue seemed to have swollen to at least twice its size, impossible to move.

My stomach spasmed with hunger. But my eyes closed quickly, and sleep claimed me fast whenever we stopped for breaks.

Without a drop of water, even with his tendrils attached, my strength diminished quickly.

Now, all I wanted was to lay down and sleep. Only the fear that I may not get up again kept me moving.

Finally, by the end of one night, the tunnel turned into a wide cave with an arched opening in the opposite wall. Dots of light in the opening looked like diamonds scattered on black velvet.

“Are those…” I didn’t finish my question, afraid to hope.

“Stars,” Kurai confirmed, drawing me to him. “We made it, my brave, strong woman. We’re out of the caves.”

He stopped at the opening of the exit.

“Sit here for a minute. I’ll need to figure out exactly where we are.”

After helping me to sit down, he took a step outside to examine the stars and constellations above us and reference them with his navigation crystal.

A night breeze caressed my cheek, cooling my feverish skin.

I’d been starving for days, living on nothing but Kurai’s magic all this time.

But if I was offered a feast right now, the first thing I’d grab would be a huge glass of water.

Cool, clean water was all I could think about as I moved my dry tongue in my parched mouth, trying and failing to produce any moisture.

Putting away the crystal, Kurai crouched in front of me.

“The tunnels led us off course,” he informed me grimly. “I knew we'd been walking in the wrong direction, but we had no choice while underground. We had to make it back up to the surface.”

“Where are we?” I croaked.

“About three days away from where we should be.”

“Three days?”

Exhaustion pressed down on me like a mountain. Three days felt the same as three years—impossible.

I took a closer look at Kurai, noticing the many signs of exhaustion in him too. He’d been my rock, my support, and the source of my strength. For over two weeks now, he’d been taking care of me, keeping me alive by lending me his magic. But it had taken a toll on him too.

He’d been without water even longer than me. His normally velvety smooth skin had turned dull, with rough patches. His lips had cracked. His breathing was heavier. And I’d noticed how his features pinched from pain when he moved.

“Actually, we’re much closer to the Temple of the First Priestess from here than to Himerum,” he said, running an assessing gaze over me. His forehead furrowed, and his mouth pressed into a firm line. “It’s less than a day to the temple.” He rubbed his chin in thought.

“But there are guards…” My throat moved with a useless swallow, bringing nothing but pain.

“There may be,” he agreed. “But it’s been over two weeks since we left Kalmena. They might’ve come and gone to search for us elsewhere.”

“If they catch you, they’ll kill you…” I closed my eyes. Somehow even keeping them open felt like a lot of effort.

“Ciana.” He kneeled at my side. “We have to go. We can’t stop now. If we do, I’m afraid you won’t be able to get up again.”

I feared I couldn’t get up already. I was so thirsty, I couldn’t even speak. Thirst filled my mind with unattainable images of bubbling fountains and gushing waterfalls, banishing every other thought.

Maybe he could just leave me here? Then I would go back to sleep again. I couldn’t worry about what would happen next.

A gentle caress brushed a braid away from my face.

“Sweetheart… You have to try, please?” He cradled the back of my head in his hand. “Please…”

I nodded, drawing my legs under me. He practically lifted me to my feet and propped me in an upright position. But he couldn’t possibly move my feet for me every step of the way. I swayed, grabbing on to the wall. He caught me, not letting me fall, and I leaned against the wall instead.

“I’ll carry you,” he said determinedly.

“No.” I pushed away from the wall, swayed on my feet, and got caught by him again. “If you do… neither of us will make it.”

The night was ending. The sky had lightened on the edge with sunrise already.

We’d have to walk during the day, under the scorching sun and likely through another sand storm.

In addition to fighting the elements, Kurai would also be carrying me.

With his energy already severely depleted, he wouldn’t be able to manage the added strain of my weight.

“You can’t carry me. We won’t make it,” I repeated, licking my dry lips with the equally dry tongue in vain.

“I won’t leave you.” His voice was hoarse from thirst.

“Then we’ll both die.” I leaned against him because my legs refused to hold me.

“You can’t die, Ciana.”

Indifference to my fate settled over me. It muffled fear, which was oddly liberating.

“Why not?” My lips cracked, stinging when I smiled.

“Because you can’t,” he repeated stubbornly. “I spared the entire sarai and failed my mission because of you. I abandoned the purpose I thought I was born for to keep you alive, and I’ll keep protecting you for as long as I breathe. You can’t give up either. I won’t fucking let you.”

He heaved me into his arms.

With no fight left in me, I buried my face in the spot between his neck and his shoulder. Sadness gripped my heart. I wasn’t afraid to die. But it’d hurt me to lose him.

What had formed between us felt solid and real. For two months, I’d sensed the connection between us grow. I’d both cherished and feared it. And now, it meant more than life to me.

Wrapped in his tendrils and arms was the only place I wished to be.