Page 14

Seven

CIANA

“ W hat’s going on?” I spun around, but there was only desert wherever I looked. Other than a few tall sharp rocks nearby, there was only sand as far as I could see.

The sarai was gone. Thankfully, so were the guards.

“Where are we? What happened?”

“You shouldn’t be here.” Kurai’s voice sounded oddly hollow as he stared straight ahead into nothing.

“Where is here? What is this place?” My head was spinning. I stopped moving and braced my hands against his wide chest, grounding myself.

My innocent gesture brought forth far from innocent feelings when my palms connected with his smooth, warm skin.

From a complete stranger, who just happened to be a good listener, Kurai had quickly become a good friend whose company I cherished.

Lately, however, I’d been becoming increasingly aware he was also a man—an incredibly attractive man, with broad shoulders, a deep, soothing voice, warm, shimmering skin, and intense emerald eyes that made me feel things I’d long thought forgotten .

The look in his eyes focused. He glanced at my face, then slid his gaze down to my chest.

My braids had shifted, leaving my bare breasts fully on display.

Until now, I’d been careful to cover them up the best I could in his presence.

Everyone back in sarai wore nothing but skirts.

I didn’t care either way. Being topless meant less clothes to worry about.

Whenever Kurai was around, however, I always made sure to have my braids cover my chest. It was almost instinctual to cover up.

Maybe because I always knew he was a man, even before I realized how attracted I was to him.

My cheeks warmed up with a blush. Desire stirred low in my belly for the first time in what felt like years.

The fitting of the harness seemed to have triggered something in me, jump starting my thoughts and emotions. Now, Kurai’s lingering gaze woke up something else—he made me remember what it was like to feel like a woman.

He glanced aside, and the spell was broken.

“In this world, the queen’s sarai is the safest place for you. You have to go back,” he said firmly, his clipped voice cutting the air like a blade.

He’d never spoken this curtly with me before.

“Where exactly should I go to get back?” I made a sweeping gesture at the black desert under the night sky.

There was no sight of the city, just an endless ocean of black, shimmering sand dunes.

He wasn’t looking at the desert when I turned back to him. He was staring at me.

“Why did you do it, Ciana? Why did you come with me?”

“Well, I didn’t know you were going somewhere or that you were leaving at all.

It just looked like the guards were about to kill you, and I…

” I drew in a shaky breath, remembering the moment of pure horror slicing through me when I saw the arrows pointed at him.

“I just couldn’t let that happen,” I exhaled.

In one quick movement, he drew me to him.

“Careless, reckless woman. Selfless and brave,” he admonished and praised in the same breath, pressing me to his chest impossibly hard, as if wishing for us to merge into one.

Resting my cheek on his chest, I felt like this was exactly the place where I wished to be, that I could stay like this forever—calm and safe, even in the middle of nowhere.

With a finger under my chin, he lifted my face to his.

“What am I to do with you now?” It didn’t come as a hypothetical or rhetorical question. The bewilderment on his face was real.

“Take me with you, Kurai. Let me come with you wherever you’re going.” I said, shocking myself possibly even more than him with my request.

Trusting a man was the worst mistake of my past. Yet as I spoke, my confidence in my decision grew. He was my only friend in this world, the only one I could count on.

But Kurai shook his head adamantly. “I’m a wanted man now, Ciana. The guards are searching for me already.”

“Why? What do they want with you?”

“Arrest and execute me,” he said calmly.

“For what?”

“For treason.”

I peered at him carefully. “Are you guilty what they’re accusing you of?”

“Yes. Very much so,” he confessed with no hesitation.

“What did you do?”

“It’s best for you not to know the details. It’s safer for all the people involved in it too.”

A treason was an act of rebellion against the ruling monarch. Kurai broke the law. But were the laws that made it legal to kidnap and hold me captive worth obeying?

“Did you…kill anyone?” I asked.

“Not this time.” His brow furrowed, as if that fact upset him.

“But have you? In the past?” A chill of apprehension trickled down my spine in anticipation of his answer.

He searched my eyes, as if trying to read my thoughts and gauge my expectations. My opinion clearly mattered to him. But I trusted he wouldn’t lie to me because of it.

“I’m trained to kill, Ciana. It’s part of my duties to protect the Joy.”

“But have you? Have you ever killed anyone?” I insisted.

“I have,” he admitted.

I swallowed hard, trying to reconcile the image of a murderer with the calm, kind man I’d grown to know.

“When?” I exhaled.

“On several occasions over the past century. The Source of Joy is our kingdom’s most precious treasure. People constantly attempt to steal it or access it without permission?—”

“Does one require permission to feel joy?”

“In our temple yes, they do but…listen—” He shook his head as if trying to clear his head, before changing the topic of our conversation.

“The most important thing right now is to get you back to the sarai . I can’t take you the same way we left.

The cloak spell can only work once, and it’s gone now.

We’re quite a way from the city here. The sun will be up soon.

We should get going if we want to make it back to Kalmena before getting caught in a day storm. ”

“Why do we want to get back to Kalmena where you will be caught and executed?” I squinted at him in question.

“Because it’s the safest place for you.”

“Safest doesn’t always mean the best.”

He’d never released me from his hug, holding me to him tightly. And I made no attempt to free myself either, staying in the arms of the self-confessed murderer.

“I can’t offer you much,” he said softly.

“The guards will be searching for me all over the city. They will likely travel to the temple to look for me there too. I’m going to the only place that may still be safe for someone in my situation, and it’s a small hamlet in the desert that doesn’t have anything even close to the luxuries of the queen’s palace. ”

I splayed a hand on his chest, holding his gaze with mine .

“You asked me about my future, Kurai, remember? Well, I’ve thought about it, and I realized that there is no future for me in the sarai .

As a Joy Vessel, I’d never be free. I didn’t escape the prison of my past to spend the rest of my life in another prison, no matter how luxurious it may be.

I’m not going back to Kalmena, and I’m definitely not risking your life for that. ”

“Would you consider returning to your world?” he asked in earnest, making me realize this option was not just in theory this time.

“Is there really a way for us to return?”

“Not for the humans in the queen’s sarai . They will be guarded much more closely now, it’ll be impossible to break them out. But for you… We could try to make it to the temple in time before the third and the last portal will be open. Is that what you want? Will you go back?”

I had thought long and hard about this question back when he’d asked it the first time. And I had my answer now.

“No. I don’t want to return. The chance of me seeing the people I knew and loved when I lived there is very small. And without those people, the human world is not worth going back to for me.”

The uncertainty with that journey was just too great, and the risk of arriving in a time period when I’d likely suffer was too real. All my life, my family and friends had been the main source of my happiness. Without their love, I had nothing.

“The only friend I have right now is here, in this world. And I don't want to lose him,” I said.

His chest stilled under my palm as his breath halted.

“We can’t be friends, Ciana,” he said in a hollow voice, dropping his arms away from me.

“Yet here we are.” I gestured at the two of us. “Friendships often happen this way—spontaneously and unplanned. I would know. I used to have a lot of friends.”

He blew out a frustrated breath, and I patted his chest in comfort .

“I promise, I’m a good friend to have. I’ll keep you company on your way to that…what was the name of the place where we’re going?”

“Himerum. It’s literally just a handful of shacks in the desert. I’m not even sure why they named it at all. It’s a place to hide, not to enjoy life.”

“Then, we’ll hide together. With the guards looking for both of us anyway, we won’t put each other in any added danger by sticking together. How far away is Himerum from here?”

“About five days on foot.” He slid a gaze down my legs. “But it’ll take us probably twice as long if you come along.”

“Hey, I’m not that slow. I can keep up.”

“Can you? With all the maintenance breaks that humans need?”

“What breaks? What maintenance?” I laughed. “I’m not some piece of equipment to be oiled and cleaned.”

“But you are a delicate creature who needs care.”

“And now you’re sounding like the Joy Vessel Keepers back at the sarai .”

“But isn’t it true? Can you cross the desert in five days without stopping?

How about food, water, rest, sleep, bathroom breaks?

” He lifted a hand and bent a finger for each of my “maintenance” needs.

“A fae can function for a while without any of those. I can walk all this way without sleep and survive without food. But you would die.”

When compared to the shadow fae, humans indeed needed a lot, and they needed it frequently.

“I’m sorry.” I hugged my arms, my resolve melting away. “I don’t want to be a burden to you on this journey.”