Page 23 of It’s Me, but Different
During the first hour of class, I manage to maintain professional distance. I focus on teaching the correct technique, correcting posture, making sure the twins feel safe on their skis.
Ana Sofia is brave to the point of recklessness, she reminds me of my niece Lumi. She throws herself downhill without any fear. Theo is more cautious; he analyzes everything.
For moments, I almost forget the tension from yesterday at The Peak.
Almost.
“Why does your sister River cook so well?” Ana Sofia asks during a break, while they drink hot chocolate from their thermoses.
“Because she loves cooking and has practiced a lot.”
“Like you with skiing?” Theo interrupts.
“Exactly.”
“Have you skied since you were little?” Ana Sofia insists.
“Yes, pretty much since I learned to walk,” I respond. “My father put skis on us as soon as we could stay standing.”
“Were you better than your sisters?”
“Is this an interrogation, or don't you feel like continuing with the lesson?” I joke, giving the girl's helmet an affectionate tap.
“You didn't answer.”
“I was the most daring, certainly,” I admit, shrugging with a smile. “I always tried to go down slopes that were above my level. River used to say I had more scars than brain cells.”
The twins burst out laughing, and I realize how easy it is to talk with them.
It's during the next break when everything changes.
“Are you okay?” I ask when I notice Ana Sofia is quieter than usual.
The girl swirls the chocolate in her thermos, avoiding my gaze.
“Mom cried last night,” she sighs.
The words hit me like being run over by a freight train.
“She cried?” I repeat.
“We heard her from our room,” Theo adds with that serious voice he uses when talking about important things. “She doesn't do it very often, but I think this time was different.”
“Different how?”
“It's not like when she misses Dad,” Ana Sofia explains, who for a moment seems like an adult. “We know those tears well. Yesterday it was... I don't know. More complicated?”
My heart sinks. The image of Esme crying alone in her room breaks me inside, especially knowing that maybe I have something to do with those tears. That maybe, when I suggested we could try something, I stirred up feelings she'd rather keep buried.
“Did something happen when you were at The Peak?” Theo asks suddenly. “Because Mom was very happy the day before. The happiest I've seen her since... well, since before Dad died.”
“And then yesterday, suddenly, she was sad again,” his sister continues, shrugging.
“I think your mom is going through a lot of things lately,” I respond carefully. “Sometimes adults… well, life is complicated; you'll realize that later.”
“Do you like her?” Ana Sofia asks directly, leaving me breathless.
“What did you say?”