Page 14 of It’s Me, but Different

Soon, River dedicates herself to telling crazy stories to the kids while we watch her with a cup of coffee bythe fireplace. We remain in a silence that isn't exactly comfortable, but isn't as tense as the first days either. It's more... strange. As if we're both waiting for the other to say something, but neither dares take the first step.

“They adore your sister,” Esme finally comments, nodding toward her children.

“She's always been good with kids,” I admit. “When Lumi was a baby, she was the only one who could calm her tantrums.”

“Can I ask you something?” she says suddenly, absentmindedly turning the cup between her fingers.

“Of course.”

“Earlier, when I was talking on the phone… did you hear something? I saw you stop sometimes near me and…”

Shit.

“I really wasn't trying to eavesdrop on the conversation or anything like that,” I rush to respond, gesturing with my hands and getting very nervous.

Esme sighs and leans back against the sofa, as if wanting to take a weight off her shoulders.

“They've offered me to be a partner at the law firm where I work. It's... it's what I always wanted. What I'd been waiting for years.”

“There's a but, isn't there?”

“Yes, I'd need to dedicate time I don't have. The kids have already lost their father. I can't… I can't disappear fromtheir lives too, no matter how much I need that money right now.”

“I understand…”

“No,” she interrupts me, raising a hand and shaking her head. “Please, don't tell me you understand. Because you… you chose the complete opposite. And I'm not judging you for it, seriously, Sloane. I'm not going to pretend I understood your motivation back then for choosing a competition over your girlfriend. I don't understand it now either, but I guess each person is different.”

“And look where that choice led me,” I add with a bitter sigh.

“It led you to the Olympics. To a bronze medal. Few people can achieve something like that.”

“It led me to being alone,” I correct. “It led me to lose the most important person in my life for something that, in the end, didn't last more than a few months.”

“The most important person in your life?” she asks almost fearfully.

“Mom! Sloane! Come see this!” Ana Sofia's voice interrupts the spell.

We get up from the sofa as if we'd been caught doing something forbidden and follow the girl.

“River is taking us tomorrow to a restaurant that's at the top of the mountain to make brownies and watch the sunset,” she announces excitedly.

“She says that way you two can be alone,” Theo adds with the innocence typical of eight-year-olds, making both Esme and me blush.

Chapter 8

Sloane

Dinner in Harper's penthouse unfolds like all Merriweather family gatherings: with lots of food, laughter, and at least three conversations happening at the same time, but somehow managing to interweave.

What I didn't expect is how easily Esme and the twins have integrated into the chaos.

When River invited them to dinner with us, I thought it was a terrible idea. I thought Esme would make some kind of excuse, but no. It took her less than a second to say she'd be delighted to join us.

And here we are now. Ana Sofia, sitting between Lumi and River, the three of them engrossed in a very serious conversation about which forest animals would be the best skiers. For his part, Theo has found in Julie the perfect audience for his encyclopedic knowledge about rocks and minerals.

While I observe the conversations, I realize Esme is doing the same from the other end of the table. There's an expression on her face that moves me: the joy of a mother seeing her children happy.

“Are you okay? You look… I don't know, like you're processing something,” Harper murmurs, leaning toward me so no one can hear us.