Page 4

Misplaced magnetism

I slept so deeply I dreamt of Maeve. She was strolling through a crowded supermarket aisle. People pushed past her as she stared at all the colourful tins and shiny bottles.

I replayed the details in my mind as I tucked my hairbrush into my holdall, checking that the worn little photo was still safely in the side pocket. Sliding open the thick taupe curtains, the sunlight instantly warmed the room. Pink roses lining thick, spiky branches interrupted the shaft of yellow light. I’d left the covers on the bed last night – the subtle smell of aftershave had been strangely comforting – so I stripped them off, wondering what Ben was like as I pulled on new ones. Lucy was so warm and kind, and the kids had been so excited to see him.

When I was content that I’d left the place tidy, I carried my bag out to find Lucy waiting on the patio table with a cup of tea. Conversation was again too easy as we watched the kids kick a ball around, but putting down my empty mug, I knew we needed to make a move. The picturesque garden and rolling hills beyond would be a perfectly peaceful memory for me to treasure. I scanned the scenery carefully, taking in the thick flowerbeds filled with pinks and purples, the distant sound of a stream, and the sweet-smelling lilac decorated with butterflies. I wanted to remember this.

A few minutes later, Lucy was pulling on her camel jacket.

“Sophie!”

she called, for the second time.

Isac appeared in the doorway. “She’s hiding again,”

he announced, unamused.

Lucy clapped, reaching for her keys. “Well go find her in the trunk then, Isac, come on.”

“Why do I have to go?”

He tilted his head back and dragged out the words.

“Come on, don’t start. The sooner we go, the sooner we can get to the beach later.”

He groaned, turning to plod loudly back up the stairs. “Sophie, I know you’re in the trunk.”

Lucy rolled her eyes, tucking two of the chairs back under the table.

“How can I thank you for this?”

I hoped the words carried the gravity of emotion I felt as I said them.

For all the years I had considered a fresh start, I couldn’t have imagined such luck. It was like the fast-charge I’d needed to brave the next steps. There were good people out there. I might just be okay after all. They might have been wrong.

“Easy. You bring the wine next time.”

I grinned; she wanted to see me again. “I can bring the wine.”

Lucy grabbed a piece of pink paper from a notepad and scribbled her number on it with one of Sophie’s fluffy pens.

“Text me,”

she said, handing it to me.

We were interrupted by Isac’s annoyed shout. “She’s not up here!”

Lucy blew a sigh through her lips. “Alright, alright, I’m coming.”

She walked towards the stairs, stopping to look back. “Can you go check the bedroom while I go upstairs and look in the trunk?”

I nodded, placing the folded paper carefully into the pocket of my jeans.

I couldn’t find Sophie under the bed in the downstairs bedroom, or in the wardrobe, but as I peered into the bathroom, I heard a noise come from the kitchen. I tip-toed back across the stone floor of the hall, stopping just outside the door to the lounge. I could see the sofa and chairs, but not all the way round to the kitchen. I heard the lid of what I assumed was the cookie tin pop open, so I quieted my breath. I considered delaying for a second, letting Sophie have the victory of stashing her cookies for later, but Isac was shouting upstairs. When I heard the tin slide across the worktop, I made my move. I leant my weight back, bent my legs and sprung through the doorway.

“Put the biscuits down!”

I blinked, slowly straightening my legs from where I’d landed.

It wasn’t Sophie.

It wasn’t Sophie I’d just shouted at, springing through the door like some ridiculous pantomime kangaroo.

It was a man.

That man.

I steadied myself as I stared at him.

He slowly lowered the biscuit from his lips, licking a stray crumb. I saw the reality dawn on him as his face grew tense, his brow furrowing.

“You.”

His dark eyes, framed by his black glasses, met mine, his tousled hair looking almost too soft compared to his icy demeanour and harsh jawline. I wondered if I could bolt for the patio doors. Standing on opposite sides of the room, neither of us spoke for a few slow seconds as the silent hostility built.

“Sorry, I—”

I stammered as he glared at me, his mouth twitching against his clean-shaven cheeks.

I took a step back, sensing footsteps behind me.

“Now I feel awful. She was in the airing cupboard with a towel over her head. She always…”

Lucy stopped as she saw the man. “Ben?” She walked past me. “I thought you weren’t coming until later?”

He was her brother? That rude, obnoxious man was her brother? How?

Oh god… I just yelled at him. Again.

He didn’t look at Lucy. He just kept staring at me, glaring at me. It sent heat straight to my cheeks. I searched myself for that sassy girl he’d met yesterday, but of course, she was gone. Apparently, dry clothes and good sleep made me soft. God, why was I so weak?

Lucy paused just past me. She looked at him, then back at me. I looked down at the floor.

Pulling his eyes from me, he fixed his pointed stare onto Lucy. “What exactly is going on? Tell me you two know each other or I swear to god, Lucy…”

“I thought you weren’t coming—”

“Tell me you did not pick her up from the side of the road and bring her home.”

Not just rude to strangers, then.

Lucy looked at me, but he spoke again before I could explain.

“Tell me right now, Lucy.”

“He helped me,”

I blurted, finding some voice at last. “Last night, he pushed the car out of the road. I didn’t know he was your brother.”

“Wait, you saw her there yesterday in the dark and left her? You left a woman alone and clearly upset at the side of the road? Out there?”

“No,”

I stuttered. “I… I insisted.”

Lucy put her hand up, a signal for me to be quiet, as she glowered at her brother like she was about to hurdle the breakfast bar.

Out of nowhere, Ben’s expression shifted, and he glanced at me with round, soft eyes. “Were you out there all night?”

“No,”

Lucy answered for me. “God, Ben, that’s a dick move, even by your standards. What were you thinking?”

His eyes lingered for an unnerving second before turning to scowl at Lucy. “What were you thinking bringing her here? With the children?”

Frantic feet thundered past me.

“Ben!”

Sophie squealed, running to throw her arms around him.

He scooped her up and swung her around, lighting up as he hugged her. He was fire and ice, like I had never seen before. Lucy strolled over and snatched the biscuit from his hand, shoving it in her mouth and managing to chew it in a threatening way, goading him. He stared back at her and raised both his eyebrows. She winked.

“I was in the cupboard, no one could find me for ages,”

Sophie told Ben excitedly.

I wondered how it would feel to melt into a puddle on the floor.

“We’re just heading to the station,”

Lucy explained. “So your timing is perfect. You can watch the kids.”

“The station?”

he asked with forced calm, lowering Sophie back down as Isac appeared and walked over more sedately to hug him from the other side.

“Yeah,”

Sophie said. “Elle needs to get to the station.”

I felt my jaw tense. Damn mouthy kids.

“I thought your boyfriend was picking you up?”

Shit.

Sophie shook her head at him. “Nuh-uh, last night—”

My stomach churned. I needed to get going. I needed to get out.

Thankfully, Lucy jumped in. “Alright, Sophie, I’m sure Ben is tired and Elle wants to get going.”

She looked at me, understanding in her eyes.

“A word, Lucy?”

Ben requested.

She rolled her eyes. “I’ll fill you in when I’m back.”

“Now.”

“Don’t talk to me like a child, Ben.”

He raised his eyebrows and they entered some sort of covert eyebrow conversation. Lucy evidently lost, huffing and following him down the hall, still holding my bag.

Great. I couldn’t even skulk off.

Trying not to listen to the rumbling, hushed words, I said my goodbyes to Sophie and Isac, stepping back onto the patio to wait. A robin landed on a rose branch, fluffing its gorgeous orange tummy. I watched as its preening ceased in response to the thundering footsteps behind me.

“Let’s go,”

Ben commanded through gritted teeth, suddenly appearing next to me, not making eye contact.

With you? No thanks.

He thrust my bag at my feet and headed towards the car, leaving the zip ajar.

“Hang on—”

He glared at me, halting at the edge of the lawn. “That’s what you want, isn’t it?”

“Well…”

I stuttered, taken aback.

Lucy burst out of the doors. “Don’t you dare!”

she shouted after him as I stood there, shrinking further into myself. “Sorry, Elle, he lives on a fucking power trip.”

“Have you lost your mind?”

he growled back at her.

My stomach lurched. “It’s okay, really, I’ll—”

Lucy looked at me and pointed aggressively. “No, don’t you go anywhere.”

I raised my hands in surrender, stumbling back a step towards the grass. The robin stayed on its rose stem, taking it all in.

“Why are you fighting?”

Sophie asked, peering into the garden around the open door.

Lucy and Ben looked towards her, then stared at each other, speaking again with aggressive eyebrow movements. They must have communicated something as Ben reluctantly followed her back inside.

I took a deep breath. This was it. My bag was on the slabs; I could slip away. I could stop causing Lucy’s family all this hassle.

“Sophie, tell your mum I’ll text her as soon as I can. I’m going to sneak out before I cause any more trouble, okay?”

Sophie’s eyes glossed over instantly. “No, don’t go. Please stay, we’re going to the beach, you have to see the beach.”

I bent down to her level, silently screaming at myself to hurry up. “Sophie, sweetheart, your mummy has been super kind to me, but I need to go get my train. You can’t be late for trains, you know that, right? If I sneak off now, you can all head to the beach. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”

She threw her arms around me. “I’d rather stay with you. You can teach me about horses. Can I at least come to the station?”

“Sophie, I need to go now before anyone gets more frustrated, okay?”

I stood up, gently unhooking her little arms. “Now, go and give Isac another hug from me, and as soon as I’ve sorted myself out, I’ll give you a call and we’ll go riding. I promise.”

“You swear?”

“I swear. Look,”

I pointed to the rose bush, “why don’t you see if there are some crusts for that little robin. He looks hungry.”

She folded her arms in protest, a little mirror of Lucy. I winced, tearing myself away.

I strode down the side of the quaint cottage, gravel crunching underfoot. It felt like walking away from something warm and safe; walking into darkness again, even though the sun was shining warmer that morning. God, I’d messed it all up. I’d found this amazingly kind stranger, crashed her holiday, and now she’d fallen out with her brother.

There was a verge that lined the narrow road, so I walked through the grass, the moist blades licking at my ankles and dampening my jeans. I’d find my way to the station. My feet paced, faster and faster – I didn’t want Lucy to come running out of the house. I’d message her, of course, and thank her again, but I didn’t want to have to leave twice. I didn’t have the strength.

My bag weighed heavy on my shoulder. I felt vulnerable without the car, but I could make out a sign at the top of the road. All of this would be easier if I still had my phone, but they’d tracked me on it before. I couldn’t risk it. One of the boys who worked in the library had asked me to the cinema once, and our date had been ruined by my family physically dragging me from the ticket line. Needless to say, he didn’t chase me for another. I’d ended up with a split ear after losing my rag and throwing a punch in protest.

“Hey.”

My thoughts were once again interrupted by that annoyingly sensual, masculine voice.

“Hey!”

Ben repeated, louder this time.

I took a deep breath and turned around. He was powering along the verge, his smart shoes looking out of place as they trampled through the wet grass. I considered just running, but by the look on his face he might have made chase. I figured it would be easier to hear him out, let him rant about my intrusion as I’m sure was his plan. Then I could apologise and go on my way.

He came to an abrupt stop, the wind dragging that woody, zesty cologne towards me as he squinted in the sun.

We both just… stood.

His body was stiff, but his eyes had softened since he’d discovered me at the cottage. He used his knuckle to press his glasses up his nose, silver cufflinks glinting in the light

“I’m—”

I started impatiently, wanting to get the apology over with. I understood why he was mad, but I was tired.

“It’s a—”

he said at the exact same time.

I clamped my lips shut.

“Lucy is… kind,”

he explained, standing straighter. “Too kind. People have taken advantage of her in the past.”

He was significantly taller than me; older too, maybe thirty? They looked marginally alike, he and his sister. Similarly curved noses and thick eyebrows. But, unlike Lucy, Ben hadn’t waited to ask questions of me.

“Look, I’m going to the station. Tell Lucy I’ll text her when I have a phone. I’m sorry I lied last night, I just didn’t want to cause anyone any trouble. Lucy insisted on helping, but I know I should have said no.”

I had no interest in explaining myself any further to him. I turned back in the direction of the distant sign.

“You don’t have a phone?”

I twisted back to face him. “We don’t have to do this, Ben. I genuinely am sorry for the trouble.”

I couldn’t understand why he was still standing there; why he’d followed me at all.

“I’ll drive you to the station.”

His tone left no room for argument.

“Not necessary.”

“You don’t know where you’re going.”

Presumptuous arse. God, he was arrogant. “And how did you come to that conclusion?”

“You just said you don’t have a phone.”

I shrugged. “I’ll figure it out.”

I noticed his eye twitch as his lip curled slightly. “What’s your game here?”

“My game?”

My eyes widened as my voice rose in anger. “What’s your game? I’m the one trying to leave, not that it’s any of your business.”

Ben looked over his glasses, folding his arms. “It’s my business when you involve my family.”

“Lucy stopped the car! I didn’t ask her to. I told her to go, several times, in fact.”

I exhaled slowly, adjusting. “She should have left me. Don’t you think I know that? But she didn’t, and I’ll always be grateful for that; I’ll always be indebted to her.”

“What do you gain from all this? You lied to me, clearly. Why?”

I should have run away for the conversation when I had the chance.

“Gain?”

I exclaimed, shaking my head. “Clearly nothing you’d understand. Of course I lied, some prick burst out of his car and started yelling at me.” I narrowed my eyes at him, remembering that my bag had been unzipped at the cottage. “You searched my bag, didn’t you?”

I tucked it higher on my shoulder.

He looked marginally embarrassed.

“Did you find what you were looking for?”

I asked spitefully, spinning on my heels and gritting my teeth as I made to walk away.

A warm hand took mine as my arm swung backwards, stopping me.

“Wait.”

This time, I kept my body facing away.

He let go of my hand.

“Look, I get it,”

I offered, my rage calming, “I really do. But please, just let me go. You clearly don’t want to be here, and—”

“I’m protective of my family,”

he interrupted, a whisper of softness nestled amidst his otherwise stern tone.

I don’t know why – whether it was because of the shiver that shot up my spine when he reached for my hand, or something else – but the words just fell out. “Well, I’m running away from mine.”

I took another step away.

We both drew in a few heavy breaths.

“Wait,”

he almost pleaded.

I hesitated, still facing the distant sign as a breeze pulled at my loose brown hair.

“Lucy wouldn’t forgive me for leaving you here. Let me drive you to the station.”

Mud squelched as I pressed my foot down.

“Please,” he added.

I stared ahead as my heart started racing, the strain in his voice dangerously enticing.

“Tell her I’d rather walk.”

He grunted, stepping beside me. “Why are you so stubborn?”

“Why are you so rude?”

He raised an eyebrow as I allowed myself a glance at his face, folding my arms to emphasise my point.

He adjusted his jaw, as if he was biting his tongue. “It’s a long walk with no pavements. I can drive you there in twenty minutes. A safer journey for you and less of an earache for me. Let’s just put an end to this so we can both move on with our lives.”

I squinted at him, digging my fingers into my arms.

He drew a deep breath. “I’m sorry for searching your bag.”

I was surprised he didn’t choke on the word.

With another sideways glance, I conceded. “I’m sorry for freaking you out.”

“If it makes you feel better, Lucy can take you.”

My lip ached before I realised how hard I was pressing my teeth into it. I was fed up of standing here. I needed to move. Maybe he was right.

The realisation was infuriating.

“And if I do decide to walk?”

“For the sake of a quiet life, I’ll probably have to slowly follow you in the car.”

There was a hint of a smile on his face as he spoke.

“That would be really annoying.”

“It would, and creepy.”

My body relaxed as he smiled a little more. The heat seemed to fizzle out in place of something else. There was a glint of Lucy’s kindness in him, buried deep down. I felt myself getting drawn in. Just the tiniest bit.

“You said it yourself, I’m stubborn.”

“You be less stubborn and I’ll be less rude, how about that?”

A laugh slipped out; the last twenty-four hours had been so entirely unpredictable that even my body had given up fighting now. “That’s probably a good place to start.”

Awkwardly, we walked back to the cottage, keeping to opposing edges of the verge.

I was content in the uncomfortable silence until he asked, “Why are you running from your family?”

The air between us iced over. Even the birds seemed to have gone quiet.

“What did Lucy tell you?”

I figured she must have said something to send him chasing after me. It was a sad realisation that my story was apparently tragic enough to turn such a hostile man on his heels.

“She said you were running away.”

He paused. “That you have bruises on your arms. I would have driven you to the station last night, you realise, if you hadn’t lied.”

The words were cold. My chest tightened. I pulled the sleeves of my grey hoodie down further. I hadn’t even thought about what Lucy would think of the bruises – heck, I’d forgotten those ones were there. It explained her kindness. I suddenly felt stupid for assuming she had simply wanted to be my friend.

“Because you came across so helpful,”

I snapped, not wanting to talk about it. I bit my tongue again, the familiar sting of pain pushing down the swelling that had built rapidly in my throat.

“Where are you going?”

he asked more gently.

“I have an address for some people I need to talk to.”

As the words came out, I realised how odd they sounded.

“People?”

“Yes, it’s a long story.”

I grimaced. The more I spoke, the more ridiculous it sounded.

Thankfully, we walked the last few meters in silence, but while it was still awkward and strangely tense, the atmosphere grew warmer between us – less like he wanted to perform a citizen’s arrest, at least. The pretty cottage slowly came back into view. It felt bizarre going back, even though it had only been about ten minutes. When he’d taken my hand, the part of me that was trying to make decisions had malfunctioned completely; I suddenly felt that nothing was in my control.

I was admiring the peach rose growing by the white front door when my ankle twisted suddenly in the grass. My breath hitched as my weight lurched towards the ground, momentum working against me, my limbs toppling over one another. Strong arms snatched around my waist, swift and decisive, and I blushed such a vivid red my teeth hurt.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry.”

I winced as Ben effortlessly lifted me back onto my feet.

In the arms of this well-dressed stranger, I realised what a mess I was. I hadn’t applied any make-up, and my hair was in a bun on top of my head, looking like a ramshackle hat. My hoodie had been on its last legs before I’d run through the rain the previous night.

Ben smirked, not helping my rosy cheeks. “It’s fine.”

I stepped away and tried not to look back, taking a second to compose myself. This day was going from bad to worse.

Ben nudged me gently and grinned. “You wouldn’t have made it to the station if you can’t even survive the verge.”

My eyes darted to him as I brushed my hands down my legs. “I’d have been fine.”

I’d rather have fallen.

“Your strong words are let down by your blushing, you know that, right?”

Oh god. Why did I have to trip?

“I’m getting you off the hook, remember?”

I retorted.

As we walked around the corner, I saw relief light up Lucy’s face.

She stepped forwards, hugging me tightly “I’m so sorry. Ben is a prick,”

she whispered in my ear.

I pulled away. “Maybe… maybe I can see where he’s coming from.”

I knew he’d heard me. I didn’t care.

“Yay!”

Sophie yelled. “Now you can come for lunch with us!” Her little arms were surprisingly strong as they squeezed my leg.

“I can’t, Sophie. I have to go soon, but thanks for inviting me.”

She stared up at me, her eyes pleading. “Please, please, please! Then we can go to the beach I was telling you about.”

Lucy jangled her keys. “Elle, it might not be the worst idea. Maybe we can help. Maybe we should have a chat first, make some sort of plan? We can take you straight to the station after lunch.”

Isac stepped out of the back door. “You said we could have a rematch of UNO.”

Suddenly, the weight of many eyes landed on me. “I-I can’t. You’ve all done enough, really. I’m sure someone else will play with you, Isac.”

He looked down at his feet, hunching his shoulders. “Mum is rubbish and Ben always wins.”

I couldn’t help but shoot Ben a look. Of course he never let the kid win.

He stared right back. “You should come.”

His expression was almost sly, as though my discomfort amused him.

“I agree,”

Lucy said after a moment’s pause. “We’ll be an hour, tops.”

I looked from one of them to the other as Sophie sneakily looped her hand in mine.

“I can’t intrude on your holiday anymore.”

Ben fixed me with a look. “Come on, Elle. The kids won’t forgive me if you leave now. I can drop you off after lunch. Unless your boyfriend is on his way now, of course?”

There was trouble written on his face; shining in his eyes. What was his game here?

I quickly realised I was outnumbered. What harm could there be in lunch? A lot. It was another stupid decision, of course it was. I looked around; even my stomach growled, joining the fight. My mind cleared entirely as I searched for a polite excuse. I wasn’t sure I had any fight left after yesterday, and any that was lingering seemed a waste on lunch. What was another hour or so?

I couldn’t help but appreciate my own weakness because lunch was lovely. We sat outside a country pub by a river; ducks floating by, people chatting and bustling about, the smell of hearty food and chips filling my nose. Sophie grilled me about horses and I won a round of UNO, much to Ben’s apparent shock. Lucy was terrible, to be fair to Isac, who wasn’t even upset when he lost our game, reaching over to high-five me when I beat Ben. I’d always felt too alone, too unlucky to believe in fate before. But the too-easy lunch with this family began to thaw something inside of me, and I let it.

“Who taught you to ride?”

Sophie asked.

“We all taught each other as kids. I enjoyed reading equestrian books and watching training videos. Sometimes they would bring in a cheap rogue horse from an auction and leave it with me to break in.”

“Have you ever fallen off?”

she asked, wide-eyed.

“Of course.”

I smiled. “That’s part of learning. You just have to keep trying.”

“Did you ever help give the horses new shoes?”

Sophie asked, but the waiter carrying out hot plates of food interrupted her questioning.

I turned to Isac, wanting to include him in the conversation. “What do you like to do for fun, Isac?”

Hunger churned in my stomach as the waiter lowered the plates. It had been a long while since I’d made time for lunch.

“He’s boring. He just plays on his PlayStation,”

Sophie answered through a mouthful of chips.

Lucy chimed in. “Sophie, why don’t you share the talking? Not everyone wants to hear only your voice all day. Be kind to your brother.”

Isac didn’t even look up, so I turned to Lucy. “Did you ever ride?”

“Yeah, I did. I used to love it, but when I decided to apply to medical school, I stopped to focus on my studies.”

“I thought you said you were a nurse?”

“Yes, well, medical school was the plan, but nursing fit better with these two.”

“I keep telling her she should go back,”

Ben added. “Especially now she’s divorced and has more head space.”

She scoffed. “It’s easy for you to say. I don’t want you looking after the kids all the time and turning them into miniature accountants.”

“Isac is great at maths, aren’t you buddy?”

Ben encouraged, nudging his nephew.

Isac remained silent.

Part of me felt drawn to his pain; the divorce must have been really hard for him, Lucy was right. As we ate, I listened happily to Sophie as she told vibrant stories, though I couldn’t help but wonder which one Maeve would have been like: chirpy and full of life, or quieter and more reserved.

It wasn’t until the kids began eagerly collecting their discarded bits of burger bun to feed the awaiting ducks that Lucy turned to me with a concerned expression on her face.

“So… what’s the plan? Will you let us help you?”

“What do you mean?”

I felt immediately exposed, my eyes flitting to the kids, who were steadily drawing closer to the riverbank.

“Well, you say you have an address for these people… but what happens if they aren’t who you’re looking for?”

“Honestly? I’m not sure. I left in such a rush that I haven’t really thought anything through. I guess, if I had, I’d still be there.”

Lucy looked concerned. “You won’t go back, though?”

“I don’t know if I could even if I wanted to.”

Hearing the words in the cold light of day was sobering.

Ben sucked in a breath. “The bruises—”

Lucy shot him a sharp look.

Ben ignored her. “You should report them to the police.”

“It’s… it’s complicated,”

I mumbled, my eyes darting as I tried to avoid looking at him. “They’re slippery.”

That was putting it mildly.

He focused his gaze on me. God, he was so intense. When he looked at me it was like he was physically pinning me to the floor.

“Is that why you ran away?”

“Ben!”

Lucy chided.

I shifted uncomfortably on the wooden seat, my gaze moving back to Sophie and Isac.

Shit.

Jumping up from the table, I unhooked my legs from the bench and stumbled clumsily to the ground. Pushing up from the mud, I ran for the river’s edge. I’d been watching Sophie wander closer and closer to the soft bank when she’d careered in, the murky water aggressively swallowing her.

I ran as fast as I could, my trainers sliding in the wet grass. It was a deep, wide river but I could see her thrashing up and down, fighting the coursing current. Isac was screaming, edging nearer to the fast-flowing water. I skidded over to the edge and threw myself in.

The cold water shocked my muscles, making my body tense up immediately. I’d hoped my feet would hit the bottom, but it was too deep. The water gushed into my nose, choking me as I fought my way to the surface. My legs kicked as I finally made it, lunging forwards, fighting the bitter, swirling torrents. I rubbed my eyes to clear the muddy haze before stretching my arms towards Sophie, both of us spluttering and struggling. I managed to draw her into me, my head tipping back under as I thrust her up for air. My jeans were fighting my every motion. I felt her fear; her panic; her small body seizing, her breathing short and laboured, only interrupted by shrill, gurgled screams. Finally managing to make contact with the riverbed, I propelled the two of us towards the slick bank.

Ben and Lucy were at the edge, arms out and faces white. Their mouths were moving frantically, but I could only hear sloshing water. One more kick and I felt a pull as Ben grabbed Sophie, heaving her out and handing her back to a manic Lucy. Water was streaming off her as she slid over the mud. The change in weight sent my head crashing back beneath the freezing surface, but Ben immediately twisted round and grabbed my forearm. I gasped, springing up as my body was dragged out of the river.

My chest thudded as our bodies collided, the force of him pulling me out sending us both backwards in a tangle of limbs.

“Bloody hell, are you alright?”

he asked breathlessly, lying beneath me.

Water poured from my nose as I steadied myself, swiping my face on my arm and gasping for air. I looked down at him, a droplet of water running off my nose and hitting his cheek.

“Yeah…”

I gasped back.

We lay there for a moment, catching our breath, the murky water soaking between us as our bodies stayed pressed together. His ribs rose and fell gently underneath me as I regained my senses. I could feel his strong fingers pressing into the cold skin of my side.

“Where’s Sophie?”

I asked, suddenly snapping out of whatever moment we were having.

Reaching one hand down, Ben pushed us up, steadying me as my eyes found Sophie. She was shaking in a blanket while Lucy gripped her and cooed in her ear.

“We need to get her home,”

Lucy said.

I scrambled to my feet, and a glance of understanding flashed between me and Ben as Sophie broke out in fresh sobs.

After Ben had thanked the pub owner for the blankets, and Lucy had pulled away with the kids, he popped open the pristine boot of his shining silver Audi.

“Your car is so clean! I can’t cover it in mud!”

He looked at me with straight lips like I’d said something ridiculous. “Well, you covered me in mud too, but we can’t stay here.”

“Oh god, I’m sorry.”

Ben frowned. “No, that’s not what I meant.”

He sighed, turning his back to me and stepping away. “Just take off some of your wet clothes.”

My bones began to ache as I rested back against the open boot. The adrenaline was filtering from my blood and my teeth started to chatter. Fighting to pull off my hoodie, I was thankful I’d put on a vest top that morning. It dropped to the ground with a heavy plop and, when no one was looking, I unceremoniously squeezed water from the cups of my bra. Pulling over one of the blankets, I wriggled out of my jeans. Ben pushed the back door shut and rounded the corner holding that blue suit jacket. He leant forwards and tucked it over my bare shoulder, hesitating to close it around me.

“Did you injure anything?”

I shook my head. “I’m fine.”

Ben looked at me doubtfully. “Let’s go. Your lips are turning blue.”

I stood up on shaky legs, shivering as cold water trickled down the back of my top. I clutched the blanket and made my way carefully to the open passenger door. Ben had already sat down and was starting the engine.

He turned the heating on full blast before looking at me. “What are you waiting for?”

I grimaced, looking down at the pristine leather. “The car, it’s—”

“A car,”

he interrupted. “I will clean it.” I didn’t move, so he went on, “It’ll be easier to deal with than hypothermia, trust me. Look, please stop arguing. You just threw yourself in a river after my niece, let me look after you.”

Back at the cottage, Lucy bought Sophie out of the bathroom wrapped in a big white towel, before throwing her arms around me, pulling me in for a hug so tight I could feel the pounding of her heart.

“Thank you,”

she choked. “You just… you just ran! She can barely swim, Elle. Thank you so much.”

I fidgeted, trying to keep hold of the blanket around my waist. “It’s okay. I’m just glad I saw it happen in time.”

“Go get warm,”

she instructed, shaking off some of the lingering shock and pulling back. “Next door is on a different tank, so there’ll be more water, and more towels, too. I’ll go find some wine.”

Sophie looked up at me through red, puffy eyes. “Thank you, Elle. I had all this water up my nose, it was making bubbles, and it was horrible. I tried to swim, but it was so cold. Mum said we could go to the shop and get some chocolate.”

I reached a hand out and rubbed her back. “You did good, it was really hard to swim.”

She sniffled and Lucy looked like she was about to start crying all over again.

The shower was warm and soothing against my icy skin. I let the water ease the sludge out of my hair, carrying it over my body and down the plughole in swirling stripes. It was a gorgeous, spacious shower, not like the one in my caravan; I could wash my hair without elbowing the walls here. I traced my fingers over the large porcelain tiles with my arm fully stretched, just because I could. The soap bottle was square and smelt of neroli and basil, with one of those fancy black and white labels.

Closing my eyes, I let the bubbles wash over my face, starting to feel clean on the outside, wishing the water could cleanse the rest of me too. I was so overwhelmed my mind was blank, but at least the quiet was peaceful.

Stepping onto the chilly tiles, I flinched and gripped the heated towel rail. My knees throbbed and I struggled to balance as I hopped onto the carpet in the adjacent bedroom. I was desperate to get dry and stay that way for a while. My body ached as I pulled on my spare set of jeans and a white t-shirt.

I hadn’t given the clothes I’d packed enough thought: light shirts and dark bras.

“Great,”

I muttered to myself.

I heard Ben walk into the kitchen below, so I sat down to try and brush my hair, squeezing more water out. I rummaged through my bag – purse, clothes, charger for a phone I didn’t have – then, still in the side pocket, I found the photograph. I picked it up to flatten it back out, before tucking Maeve safely away.

Grabbing my mascara, I went over to the small mirror and stared into the eyes of the new me. A free person, an independent person, a person suddenly making all of her own decisions, however questionable. I dragged the mascara through my eyelashes, running my hands through my wet hair. This was the face that Susan and Derek White would meet on their doorstep.

“I don’t want to be accused of being rude again,”

Ben’s low voice called as the metal stairs rang out with his footsteps, “but did you want to salvage the jeans and hoodie in the bag?”

I dropped my head into my hands. “God, sorry. I don’t know. I didn’t realise how little I’d thrown in my bag.”

Ben stepped into the bedroom. “Alright, we’ll try and wash them.”

He headed straight for his suitcase, pulling a green knit jumper over his black t-shirt and clean jeans. I hoped there had been enough warm water for him to shower next door. He seemed more relaxed and he looked less stern in his more casual outfit.

I put my brush down, realising I’d been brushing the same section of hair over and over. “Is your car alright?”

“Why are you so concerned about the car?”

I shrugged, tightening the lid on my crusty mascara. “Don’t want to cause you any more trouble.”

He narrowed his eyes, pressing his lips together. “You don’t need to worry. We cleaned most of the mud off the seats. You soaked me, too, don’t forget.”

He smiled, clearly trying to get a read on me. He was wrong to think I had the energy to put on a front – I was spent. Ever since the anger had hit me and I’d packed my bag, I’d been acting on raw impulse.

“I’m sor—”

“Stop apologising, Elle. What is it with you apologising for everything? You pulled Sophie out of a river.”

He paused as I opened my mouth again. “Don’t apologise for apologising,” he interrupted, reading my mind. “Or I’ll take my bed back and make you sleep on the sofa.”

My cheeks flushed hot, my body only now managing to generate some heat at the least convenient time. “I can’t stay again. If you could just take me to the station—”

“No.”

He took his glasses off and dried a patch of mist on the rim of his jumper, exposing a strip of abdominal muscles that I didn’t allow myself to look at for long. Seeing the way his face changed without the harsh frames was distracting. He looked younger, softer. The word lingered. That confidence he spoke with… it was like everything he said had conviction.

“No,”

he repeated, more gently this time. “You’ve had a very stressful day, and it’s getting dark. You’ll have some dinner, which will hopefully be a drama-free meal, and I’ll take you in the morning. I promise. I’m not taking you tonight, Elle. You look exhausted. I listened to you before, and look where that got us all.”

My voice shook. “I… I can’t. I can’t stay. They’ll be looking for me. I’ve already stayed too long.”

“You’re an adult, Elle. You don’t have to do what they say. Besides, they won’t find us here – it’s a holiday cottage in the middle of nowhere.”

He was so blasé. He had no idea.

I continued to sit there, my mind buzzing with emotions – none of which would come to the surface. I felt my throat tighten up. Why did it make things so much more painful when people were kind? Even broody Ben was now being nice to me. I’d made so many excuses for the beatings, the simple lack of humanity, it was painful to realise exactly how much of a conscious choice it had been for all of them.

“Who are you running from?”

he asked eventually, filling the silence.

I pinged the hairband on my wrist against my skin, the sting of it grounding me. “My family… they’re from a tight-knit community. They’ll be really, really angry with me for leaving.”

His brown eyes searched my face.

“Elle, we’re back!”

The door had barely slammed shut as the metal of the stairs rang out like some sort of clunky xylophone.

“I got you a present!”

Sophie yelled excitedly, running up to me with a carrier bag.

“Oh, thank you,”

I replied, grateful for the interruption.

“It’s a new jumper. Mum didn’t know what colour to get, so I chose pink. Do you like it?”

I noticed Lucy standing in the doorway, looking tiredly from me to Ben.

“Let’s open the wine,” she said.