Page 27 of Irreconcilable Attractions (Westwend Boys #1)
Colton
I wasn’t ready for the bubble Derek and I found ourselves in to pop, but I knew it would eventually. The silence after the crescendo of fireworks was deafening.
Everything about the last hour had been a fantasy come to life. Watching Derek lose his mind, sinking deeper and deeper into pleasure until he’d crash landed with his release, had been everything. His request to touch me had been surprising, but I'd been more than happy to oblige.
My balls had ached just from getting a hand around his perfect cock—and it was perfect . It had the right amount of girth to fill my hand, was long enough that I knew he would peg my prostate with every stroke, and had a wide mushroom head that had made my mouth water the moment I laid eyes on it.
His whimpers and cries had been ridiculously sexy.
I’d always been versatile in bed, topping or bottoming didn’t really matter to me in the heat of the moment, as long as we were both into it.
But, something about Derek’s body—that damn thatch of deep brown hair that formed his happy trail, the way his hands had practically ripped apart his shorts to get himself out, and the desperation lacing every groan that came from him—made something deep within me stir.
I had needed to get him off and to tell him how good he was.
Taking charge during sex had always been a natural thing for me.
It was like my brain went quiet and dictating how things played out helped make me feel in command of more than just my partner.
I’d even topped from the bottom, but with Derek?
I hadn’t wanted to risk spooking him by being too demanding upfront.
So his immediate submission had been fucking perfection.
And holding him after? The way that he so easily accepted the quiet embrace? My heart had been full enough to burst.
But, now it sat heavy in my chest. I’d untangled myself from Derek’s arms when it was obvious the show had ended, hoping that whatever we’d just shared would still be lingering in those eyes.
Instead, there was an expression I couldn’t read on his face while tension bunched the skin at the edges of his chocolate hues.
Did he regret this? He was straight so it was only expected he’d be confused after, but was that all it was?
My gut clenched at the reminder of the last time I’d messed around with a straight guy.
The things that we had done hadn’t meant much to him and learning that I hadn’t meant much either had been devastating.
But, I’d somehow let Chris get it into my head that this time would be different—that Derek was different.
My stomach lurched at the awkwardness swirling in the air coupled with the anxious thoughts ripping through me.
“Ready to go?” My voice sounded hoarse as I struggled to get the words out. I was suddenly desperate to be anywhere but in this room.
Derek nodded, that unsettling expression on his face firmly in place which only frayed my nerves more.
We made our way out of the room and down the stairs before I made a quick detour to toss the evidence of our encounter in a trashcan in the kitchen.
Our goodbyes to everyone were perfunctory and stiff, but luckily we both were able to slip away quickly.
The drive back to the house was the longest ten minutes of my life. The loaded tension in the air made sitting so close to Derek almost unbearable as I struggled to fight back the memories from high school.
How had I not learned my lesson after the first straight guy I’d developed feelings for?
I’d had the luxury of being able to avoid the fuck out of that guy when things had gone south, but I couldn’t do that with Derek.
I was living with the man. Plus, when I’d tried to pull away before, he’d quickly caught on to that.
Though, I guess there was the possibility that he’d be the one to back off from our friendship this time.
My chest squeezed painfully at the idea of the summer coming to a close with the two of us essentially being strangers again. But… maybe that’d be for the best.
“I’m going to bed.” I said in a low murmur after we’d parked and made our way into the house in silence.
“Colton.”
Derek’s voice had a calm edge to it that made me pause in my retreat to my room. He was standing in the middle ground between our living room, his hallway, and mine. Something about his stare made my breath catch and the raging thoughts in my head quiet momentarily.
He motioned toward the couch, and on instinct I followed after him before taking the side opposite from where he sat. There was a beat of silence that hung heavy between us and before it could get worse I blurted, “Can we just talk about all this?”
Derek stared at me, his expression cool and collected as he rested his head against the hand propped on the back of the couch. “Gladly.” He said, studying my face. “Do you want to go first or should I?”
I swallowed thickly. My head was a mess, but I wasn’t ready to hear how Derek regretted being with me. My tongue felt dry as I tried formulating the words. Every attempt at getting them out was met with a painful constriction of my throat. Finally, Derek shifted and let out a rough sigh.
“I don’t regret anything we did tonight.”
My eyes snapped up, a chunk of the weight lodged in my chest chipping away at his admission. “You don’t?”
He shook his head and I sucked in a lungful of air. My upper body slumped back against the arm of the couch as more of the flurries in my head quieted.
“I don’t either.” I finally responded and the way Derek’s shoulders dropped had a hopeful energy coursing through me. Now that he had relaxed, it made me realize he had been just as tense as I was.
“But aren’t you like… freaking out?” I asked cautiously while studying his face.
He tilted his head, a few strands of hair falling over his forehead from the motion. “Not really,” Derek sat up, adjusting himself so his body was just a bit closer to me.
“I had an idea I was into guys before tonight,” He admitted and my jaw dropped.
“Wait, what?” I croaked, feeling like my world had shifted on its axis. “But, you’re straight.”
Derek nodded, a sheepish expression coming over his face. “Let’s just say I had a very enlightening experience that made me realize I wasn’t as straight as I thought I was.”
My coming out hadn’t been some big ordeal or grand experience, but there was something about Derek’s casual admittance that had my brain short circuiting.
“And that’s it?” I pressed, still feeling like this might be too good to be true.
Derek’s eyebrows scrunched together, his confusion clear. “What do you mean?”
“You’re just totally fine with realizing you like guys, too? No freak out or identity crisis?”
“I mean, it seems like you’re freaking out for me,” he said, a lazy grin tugging at his lips. “Thanks for that, by the way.”
Any remaining tension between us snapped at his words causing a laugh to tumble from me. “Yeah, I guess I am.” I admitted, running both my hands through my hair.
Derek’s smile was warm and affectionate, sending little sparks to skitter across my skin. Fuck, I felt like I would never get use to how gorgeous this man was. He offered me a hand and I took it, letting the soft squeeze he gave anchor me to this moment.
“So, now what?” I lowered my eyes to where I rubbed my thumb back and forth over his skin.
Derek didn’t say anything for a while, making me look back up. He chewed on his lower lip, still clearly thinking over his response before he let out a slow breath.
“I don’t really know.”
My stomach dropped and I tried to school my expression against the effect that response had on me. The last thing I wanted was for Derek to feel pressured into something he wasn’t ready for, but I couldn’t help the disappointment that coursed through me.
“But,” he continued, maybe reading the cloudy expression on my face for what it was, “I can tell you I want to see where this goes.”
“Yeah?” There was a note of tentative hope in my voice.
Derek gave me a small nod. “I don’t know what I can offer you, but I like you too much to not explore what’s here.”
My heart tripped over itself at his words, but when my brain caught up to what he said, I frowned a little.
Derek had mentioned before he wasn’t looking for a relationship, so what was he proposing, exactly?
A sour feeling settled in the pit of my stomach at the idea that I might be an experiment for him.
“So, are you just wanting this to be a casual thing?” I asked hesitantly. I’d done that in the past without any problems, but the idea of Derek seeing someone else at the same time made me sick.
“Something like that,” he nodded, “But I have no plans of seeing other people.” I watched his Adam’s apple bob with a heavy swallow before he continued, “But, if you wanted to…”
“No!” I rushed out, “I don’t want that, either.”
Derek’s features softened instantly and a goofy grin tugged at the corners of my lips. My stomach felt like a million butterflies had taken off in unified succession inside it.
“Good.” He leaned forward and I met him halfway for a tender kiss, his free hand coming up to cup my jaw. Just like after we’d gotten each other off, the kiss was sweet and so achingly perfect. After a few pecks, Derek pulled away, studying over my features with those gorgeous brown eyes.
“It’s late.” He whispered, but made no move to pull away completely.
“Just a few more minutes, then we both can go to bed.” I suggested, pressing one final kiss to his lips.
He smiled indulgently before shifting back on the couch and opening his arms to me.
Without any words, I rested against his chest, wrapping my arms around his waist. Cuddling with Derek felt like a natural thing to do after how tactile our friendship had been.
Besides, who could resist getting to rest on such well defined pecs? I certainly wasn’t complaining.