Page 19 of Irreconcilable Attractions (Westwend Boys #1)

The site had dozens of thumbnails, all of them men that were clearly engaging in sexual activities with another man.

Obviously, Derek, that’s kind of what you signed up for here. Don’t overthink this, just pick one.

I scrolled, internally wincing at the titles of some videos, until one caught my eye. ‘ Micah's First Time Gay Hookup ’.

A little crude, but it hit the nail on the head. If I could see someone else’s first experience with a man, maybe it would give me some clarity.

My cursor hovered over the video, the preview beginning to auto-play.

I sat stock-still as the clip showed two guys sitting side-by-side on a couch.

One—Micah, presumably—seemed nervous as he kept running his hand through his shaggy brown hair. He was engaged in conversation with the man beside him, though there was no sound.

Micah’s partner was a platinum-blond guy who had a surprising amount of muscle definition for his lean frame. He oozed flirty confidence as he turned his body toward Micah, posture relaxed and open. They continued conversing until the blond subtly placed his hand on Micah’s thigh.

I felt my breath hitch at the contact. Somehow, I was nervous for Micah.

Micah’s eyes kept darting back and forth from his partner’s hand to his face, ever aware of the appendage that was making its way slowly further north.

When the blond leaned over and their lips met, I held my breath.

But Micah relaxed into the kisses quickly and that made some of the tension in me bleed away.

The contact was simple, really. Just lips repeatedly meeting each other without any tongues involved.

It seemed like Micah’s partner was really easing him into this, which I was somehow appreciative of.

Things began to shift when the blond nipped at Micah’s lower lip. Micah’s hands shot out, greedily gripping at his partner’s waist as he pulled him closer to deepen the kiss.

It hadn’t occurred to me how much distance was still between the two until that moment, but suddenly, I was engrossed in seeing every point of contact between them.

One hand gently caressing Micah’s arm.

The other cradling his face, almost lovingly.

Fingertips pressed so hard into the fabric of the partner’s waist, I was sure it would leave bruises.

Tongues were definitely involved by this point and the once timid-looking Micah’s features were scrunched in pleasure. His eyes were tightly shut as he rolled his tongue against his partner’s.

My chest rose and fell in quick succession as the scene changed.

The blond now sat directly on Micah’s lap, their make-out fast and frenzied. The bulge in Micah’s pants was very apparent under his partner’s bubble butt. My eyes drifted lower to where Micah’s hands gripped the blond’s ass, almost possessively.

My own hand inched southward, my breathing stuttering when it made contact with my erection. Absentmindedly, I palmed at my dick, needing to soothe the ache as the scene continued before me.

After a few seconds, the blond’s hand slid up into Micah’s hair before tugging back forcefully. There was a shot of Micah’s face, dazedly blinking up at his partner and very clearly drunk on pleasure.

The camera panned around to reveal a smug grin on the blond’s face before the clip ended.

A groan slipped from me as I squeezed my still clothed cock. I was painfully hard for the second time today and too focused on getting release to think too deeply into what that meant. I needed to see how this video ended.

Rolling to my side, I pulled a bottle of lube from my nightstand before quickly depositing some into my hand and sliding into my boxer briefs. My free-hand navigated to the last part of the video I’d seen.

The blond’s smug grin filled the screen and he bit onto his lower lip. He pulled Micah’s head to the side, exposing his neck to trail open-mouthed kisses down his skin. Micah groaned, fingers flexing against the blond’s ass.

When Micah’s partner bit down gently at the base of his neck, Micah’s hips bucked, grinding into the blond’s ass as he moaned in pure ecstasy.

It was clear by the look on Micah’s face he was enjoying everything.

There was a harsh red mark left behind when the blond pulled away.

My body heated at the sight. There was something so incredibly hot about seeing that mark.

The duo made quick work of getting Micah’s shirt off him and the blond leaned in to teasingly flick his tongue against the pink flesh of his nipples. The sounds Micah made were feral and full of desire.

Against my better judgement, Colton flashed into my mind. Would he enjoy his nipples played with like that? Did he like them flicked or tugged? He said they were sensitive. Sucking on them would probably feel incredible for him.

Familiar images flashed in my mind, except for one new detail. It was me sucking on those pink buds of flesh.

I squeezed my eyes shut, pumping my cock faster. I was more turned-on than I’d ever been before in my life. Just the thought of Colton squirming in pleasure was enough to send a zing of pleasure straight to my balls.

On the screen before me, a deep guttural moan filtered through the speakers and prompted me to open my eyes.

Micah’s partner had his fingers laced through both of Micah’s hands as his head bobbed steadily over the inexperienced boy’s cock.

“Oh, fuck…” I breathed.

Did Colton like to give head? He would probably be just as cocky as this guy while doing it.

Swirling his tongue against my cockhead just to tease little whimpers from me.

Then he’d drop back down again, swallowing my whole length, just to pop back off again.

He’d bring me so close to the edge and then stop just so he could hear me beg.

My eyes snapped closed again, pushing myself further into the fantasy as my chest heaved. The heat from my hand and the slippery consistency of the lube made picturing Colton’s mouth on my dick feel all too real.

I knew Colton would pop off my cock with a satisfied grin before pushing his way up to feed me his own. He’d put his fingers in my hair and guide me along his length, using my mouth to pleasure himself. I bet if I sucked my cheeks in, he’d moan my name in a deep, husky tone.

But, he wouldn’t stop there, would he? No, Colton would be greedy. A blowjob wouldn’t be enough for him. He’d want more. Would he want me to fuck him? Or…

The thought of Colton blanketing me and pounding away was what did me in. My balls drew up tight and a full-body shudder racked through me. I groaned through my orgasm as thick spurts of cum coated my hand. Lazily, I continued to pump till I’d wrung myself dry.

Once done, I pried one eye open and noticed the video of Micah and his partner sat frozen on my computer screen. It’d clearly ended sometime while I’d been getting myself off. My face flushed hot as I realized my own fantasies had been more enticing than literal porn.

I got up and wiped my hands on a towel I had in my laundry hamper. Darting across the hall, I washed them in the bathroom before quickly making my way back to my bedroom.

Flopping back on my bed, I stared up at the ever rotating fan.

I’d gotten turned on by gay porn. I hadn’t seen the money shot, but Micah and his scene partner were really hot together. The kissing alone had gotten me just as hard as I’d been on the basketball court.

I waited for a moment to let that thought sink in, waiting for any kind of panic or discomfort at the thought. But, nothing came up.

I thought back on my time in locker rooms and all of the male friends I’d had.

Was it possible I’d been oblivious to the way I’d looked at them?

I tried picturing my best friends in college.

Yeah, they’d been good looking guys. But, did straight guys notice how their buddy’s legs popped in fitted pants?

I didn’t think I’d been romantically interested in any of my friends, but I was re-evaluating the pull I’d had toward some of them. Had that actually been attraction?

I sighed heavily. Either way, I felt confident that I could say I was into men after this eye-opening experience.

And apparently, I was very into my roommate.

I groaned, covering my face with my hands.

Admitting I was attracted to men wasn’t nearly as hard to process as it was to admit I was into Colton.

I couldn’t see any scenarios where my interest in him didn’t lead us back to things being awkward as hell.

Slowly dragging my hands down, I tried to untangle the mess in my head.

I was a grown ass adult. I could still be friends with someone, even if I was attracted to them.

This was what boundaries were for and I just needed to keep myself in check.

I couldn’t predict what Colton would think of my new revelation, but it didn’t have to change anything.

He was important to me, and so was the friendship we’d built over the last few weeks.

I could be a big boy and put aside whatever this was for the sake of keeping Colton in my life.