Page 57 of Infidelity Rules

Comfort Food Menu

Wine, a lot of wine

Cheese. An entire wheel if you will

Coconut cake. Extra frosting

Repeat.

I pick my head up off my kitchen counter and push away the cake, the wine and yes, even the cheese. Nothing tastes the same anymore anyway. I’m done. It’s been a month and I’m over my pity party. I’m done with the tears and the raggedy ass sweatpants. I’m done feeling as if I can’t breathe.

I want my life back. I want to savor wine again and laugh with my brother and throw cocktail olives at Julian and share in Dezi’s bride-to-be joy.

Screw my dumbass rules. When I fell in love with Marcus the game changed.

I. Want. Him. Back. More than anything.

But that baby boy?

I pick up my phone and stare at it, scrolling to find Marcus’s last text.

Marcus: Quinn. You are the queen of my heart. Always you. Only you. Forever you.

Damn him. His words on the screen start to blur as my eyes fill with tears yet again. I keep staring, watching my tears splatter all over his profile picture, obscuring his dimples and softening his edges.

Maybe, with time, that’s how he’ll take shape in my heart. Soft and hazy and out of focus. A distant memory.

I can survive this. And I can do it without cake and cheese and endless bottles of wine.

Right?

I swear that giant hunk of Parmesan is calling my name. I’m about to chuck it out my window when I hear a soft rap at my door.

My heart soars. Marcus?

I just want to be folded in his arms one last time.

Because the last time, well, I didn’t know that was it.

I didn’t know our story was about to end.

I would have held on tighter. Longer. I would have memorized his scent and the feel of his arms wrapped around me.

And the weight of his chin resting on the top of my head.

I open my door and am instantly engulfed by Dezi. Her might is surprising, given her tiny stature.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” I say, whispering into her hair. “I was about to do something really stupid.”

I was about to call Marcus.

Dezi pulls back and looks at me with a hint of a smile. “You? Do something stupid? No way.”

“Funny. Smart ass,” I say, smiling through my tears. “I was about to hurl a whopping hunk of cheese out my window. I’m certain it would have conked somebody in the head. And then I’d be dealing with a lawsuit and a broken heart.”

We are quiet for a moment as we flop on my sofa.

“Talk to me Quinn. How are you holding up?”

I shrug. “I’m sad. I’m exhausted. My insides feel crushed.”

Dezi nods, squeezing my hand.

“I miss him. I feel, I don’t know, lopsided somehow. And empty. Christ, here come the tears again.”

“It’s okay, Quinn. Just let it out.”

“That’s all I’ve been doing, Dezi. I’m over it. I have good stuff in my life. I love my job, I adore my family and you’re getting married! I need to focus on that or I’ll go crazy.”

“Quinn, honey. Give yourself a break. You are allowed to grieve. You need to grieve.”

“I know, I know,” I say, running my hands through my hair. “Dezi, why did I let myself fall in love? Why?”

“You can’t control who you love, Quinn. You know that.”

“I didn’t know that. I thought I could. But I don’t know what happened.”

“Quinn, you let Marcus in. That’s a good thing. It’s a great thing.”

“It doesn’t feel so great,” I say, grumbling.

“Doesn’t it, though?”

“You’re such a therapist,” I say, whacking her with a sofa pillow. “And no, it doesn’t feel great at the moment. It feels as though someone died. And as though the world ran out of cheese. And decent red wine.”

Dezi giggles. “I’m happy to see your sense of humor is intact.”

I sigh. “I’m trying here.”

Dezi hugs me tight. “You did the right thing.”

Did I?

“And you’re going to be okay.”

“I know,” I say. “I can survive love. And I can survive losing Marcus. I have to.”

But I don’t want to.

We are quiet. I can feel Dezi’s eyes on me and I don’t want to return her gaze. I’m about to cave and bring in the coconut cake when there’s a knock at my door.

My heart soars. Again. Damn it.

“Dezi?”

“I’m on it,” she says, heading to answer the door.

I put my head in my hands and wait for her to shoo away whoever it is. I know it’s not Marcus. I can always feel Marcus.

“Quinn,” Dezi says softly. “There’s someone here to see you.”

I drag my hands down my face as I slowly look up.

Julian .