Page 11 of Infidelity Rules

There’s something strange going on with Dezi. I’m at her apartment for our usual Thai takeout night and she’s acting weird. Not weird as in she’s hula-hooping in a Barbie costume. But weird as in fidgety and flighty. Honestly, it’s as if she has ants in her pants.

“Let me pour you a glass of wine,” I say, as I watch her pick non-existent lint off the sofa and then start twisting a lock of her pale hair around her finger. “Is everything okay?”

“What?” she says, now fiddling with the Thai takeout menu. “Oh. Yes. Everything’s fine. Wine would be great.”

I’m not convinced.

I hand her a glass of riesling which she immediately puts down.

She goes right back to twisting her hair into spiky little tufts and checking her phone — both very much unlike Dezi.

Dezi, who is always so cool and serene, as if she knows all the secrets to life and is just patiently waiting for you to catch on.

I watch and wait. But now she’s swilling her wine, another very un-Dezi like trait.

“What’s going on?” I ask, peering at her. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, yes,” she says, taking a deep breath and sighing. “I’m fine. Really. Now tell me what’s going on with you. Are you going to meet up with Marcus or what?”

“Oh no, not so fast. Something’s up. Now spill it.”

“Okay, okay. I’ve met someone. His name is Elliot and I’m crazy about him,” she blurts out.

“Am I missing something? Who on earth is Elliot? I’m so confused,” I say, shaking my head. I look at my best friend and see her cheeks are now hot and flushed as if she just returned from a sweaty spin class. And she cannot stop smiling.

Dezi grins at me and is about to speak when our dinner arrives.

“Hold that thought,” I say, jumping up to grab the food. “Okay, go. Tell me everything.”

“Wait, food first,” she says. “I’m starving.”

I quickly dole out chopsticks and containers of our favorites from Basil & Bird — summer rolls, Crying Tiger beef, green papaya salad and drunken noodles. “Two bites. Then you start talking.”

“I’m in love,” Dezi says, dabbing her summer roll in nam phrik. “At least I think I am,” she says, a grin spreading across her delicate, doll-like face.

I nearly spit out a mouthful of wine.

“That’s fantastic! But when? How?” I say, firing questions at Dezi. “And why am I just hearing about this now?”

Dezi ignores my last question but starts to fill in the details.

The pair met at a cooking class about six months ago.

Dezi, a terrible cook, thought it might help motivate her in the kitchen if she had some basic skills (it didn’t).

Elliot was also participating and since the two of them were the only singles in the class, they were paired up to cook the three-course meal together.

Elliot, apparently, is a whiz in the kitchen and he took over as they made homemade mayonnaise, pounded chicken breasts flat, chopped shallots and whisked melted chocolate into fresh cream.

“We just couldn’t stop laughing and talking. So much so, we were reprimanded for being disruptive,” she says, her whole pixie-like face lighting up at the memory. “I was smitten that very day.”

“I remember when you took that class. Why didn’t you say anything then?”

“Turns out, he had a girlfriend. A girlfriend who was supposed to be at the class with him but was sick and couldn’t make it.”

“Well lucky you,” I say, grinning and picking up my chopsticks to make a stab at the spicy beef.

“Yes. Although at the time, I was so disappointed. I had finally met somebody I clicked with, and he was taken.”

“So,” I prompt. “Then what?”

“Elliot broke up with his girlfriend just a few weeks after we met. He then showed up at my office on campus and asked me for a date. He said he couldn’t stop thinking about me.”

Dezi cannot stop smiling and she has barely touched her food.

“Well, I love this guy already. I haven’t seen you this bonkers over a man in ages. If ever. He clearly has excellent taste.”

“I’m crazy about him Quinn. I really am.”

“So why have you been keeping him a secret?”

Dezi hesitates. “I wish I had a good answer for you, but I just don’t know.”

I raise my eyebrows at that. “You, the scary smart, wildly successful, insightful therapist? Come on Dez, I don’t buy it.”

“I haven’t been keeping him a secret. It’s just so new and it’s been so long since I’ve been in a real relationship. Maybe I just didn’t want to jinx anything …” she trails off.

“Seriously Dez? You can be honest with me. You always are.”

“It’s your married man habit, Quinn,” she says. “You’re my best friend and you date married men. I don’t know how to explain that.”

“So don’t. I certainly don’t advertise it and you don’t have to tell Elliot.”

“I know,” she says. “It’s nobody’s business but your own, but what if he finds out? What do I say then?”

“Dezi, you worry too much. He’s not going to find out. And even if he does, so what?”

“You’re right. It’s me he’s dating, not you. But I do wish you would at least think about dating single men again. Like Marcus, maybe? For your own sake.”

“You’ll be the first to know,” I say, pouring the last of the wine. “Now, when do I get to meet this mystery boyfriend of yours?”

“Don’t be mad,” says Dezi, avoiding my gaze.

“What, you don’t want me to meet him?”

“It’s not that. Oh crap, I’m just going to come out and say it. He’s the owner of Barnyard Funk.”

Silence.

“Wait. What?” I say, dropping my chopsticks with a clatter.

“I know. I know,” says Dezi, covering her head with her hands. “Please don’t kill me.”

“You’re telling me that your boyfriend OWNS Barnyard Funk, easily the best cheese shop in D.C?” I say, incredulous.

Dezi nods.

“He is literally THE CHEESE KING . He knows everything about cheese. He’s a cheese wizard. It’s cheese heaven in his shop.”

“Okay, okay. Simmer down. I know you’re a lunatic about cheese. I promise, I will not only introduce you, but I’ll set us up with an entire afternoon of nothing but tasting cheese.”

“You’re on. Now would you please eat something before I finish all this food by myself? I need to prepare my stomach for this forthcoming cheese.”

Dezi digs in, shaking her head and smiling. “You truly are a cheese freak.”

“And you, my friend, appear to be very much in love.” I engulf her in an enormous hug. “I’m so happy for you.”