Page 31 of Infidelity Rules
I’m standing outside Dezi’s apartment, afraid to knock on the door. Dezi is family to me. She’s been the one solid fixture in my life for years. I can’t lose her. It would tear me up more than losing Liam did.
I take a deep breath and gently knock on her door.
No answer, but I hear voices. I think she’s watching an exercise video. I can faintly hear a woman saying something about squeezing your buns.
I knock again. And now I hear footsteps.
“Hey,” I say as Dezi opens the door. “You haven’t been answering my texts. I’m worried.”
Dezi engulfs me in a hug. “I’m so glad you’re here,” she says, her voice muffled against my shoulder.
“Me too,” I say, as my limbs go weak with relief.
We stand in her living room, staring at the Pilates instructor on TV.
“Pull your belly button toward your spine and engage the glutes,” says the perfectly sculpted woman, wearing impossibly tight yoga pants and a sports bra. “Ribs in, neck long, squeeze your inner thighs together,” she says, breathing in and out with a whooshing sound.
We both watch the woman for a few minutes, marveling at her abs, which are flat with a distinct looking number eleven carved into them.
“I was trying to do a Pilates class,” says Dezi, gesturing toward the television. “I got as far as a few lazy leg lifts and a couple of butt squeezes.”
“Don’t let me stop you, squeeze away.”
“I’m done. Pilates ass be damned,” she says, turning off the TV. “I’m so glad you came. But you’re not totally off the hook. We need to figure this out.”
“I know, I know. That’s why I’m here.”
“Sit,” she says. “I’m going to make some tea.”
“Wait. You have to tell me first, is Elliot being a jerk to you? Be honest.”
“Of course not. Do you really believe I’d stick around for that? Obviously, he was upset and initially confused. And wondering about my involvement in your affairs.”
“I hope you’ve made it clear you’re not involved. In fact, you’re the one who is always trying to therapize me out of my wanton ways.”
“Yes,” Dezi nods. “He gets that, but it’s not as if it’s just Marcus. Or Zack. You’ve been playing mistress for years now and that would be hard to explain.”
“So don’t. My past is not up for discussion. And honestly Dezi, I still don’t understand why he gets to be the judge and jury regarding my love life. It’s none of his business.”
“You’re absolutely right, it’s not any of his business. But who he associates with and who he socializes with and who he surrounds himself with is his business.”
I nod, running my fingers through my hair, electrifying it.
“I am now his business,” says Dezi softly.
“Jesus Dezi. I’m sorry. I don’t want to come between you two.”
“I won’t allow that,” she says firmly. “I love him Quinn and I do think he’ll come around, but not if you continue as is.”
“What can I do?”
“Figure out Marcus. Stop sneaking around. And please, no more married men.”
“When you say figure out Marcus …?”
“Quinn. Forget about Elliot. What do you want going forward? Where is it going with Marcus? Is he worth it? How long do you plan to play second fiddle to his wife?”
“Wow. Are you suggesting I try to break up their marriage?”
“I’m just asking you to think ahead. Understand your actions reverberate and have real consequences. This isn’t just about you.”
“You’re right,” I say with a sigh. “It feels very different this time. And if I could take back all my married men, I would.”
“Would you?” asks Dezi.
I nod. “In a heartbeat. Except Marcus. But I’m scared. I’m scared of how I feel about him. I’m scared to think he’ll leave his wife. And I’m scared to think he won’t.”
We sit in heavy silence. I know Dezi is treading carefully as she never wants to crossover from friend to therapist. She’s always been in my corner. On my side. And I’ve been a giant ass. I’ve been acting like a giant ass for years. And now it’s hurting my best friend.
.....
“I’m giving those lessons,” I blurt out suddenly, breaking the silence. “It’s stupid and I hate it, but I felt like I owed it to Cindy.”
Dezi jerks her head up. “Are you serious?” she says, grinning. “I love it!”
“Really? It’s just so corny. And I’m terrible at it.”
“I think it’s great you’re at least trying to help. And what makes you say that? You clearly knew how to snag Zack.”
I tell her about the twin texts.
Dezi starts laughing so hard she doubles over. She’s in the midst of a full-blown belly laugh.
“Gee, thanks,” I say, as Dezi continues to cackle.
“I’m sorry,” she says, wiping tears from underneath her eyes. “But that is just too good.”
“Are you done?” I ask, cracking a small smile. “It is pretty crazy, isn’t it?”
Dezi nods, still chuckling. “Oh, thanks for the laugh. Whew. I needed that. My life would be so dull without you.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I grumble.
“You did a good thing,” says Dezi, hugging me. “I bet you Zack will show up for the date.”
“I’m certain I’ll find out all about it at our next lesson,” I say, rolling my eyes.
“Can I come?” asks Dezi eagerly, starting to laugh again. “Oh please, let me sit in.”
“When hell freezes over. Unless, of course, you’d like to be a guest lecturer?”
“Absolutely,” says Dezi. “The moment I get my growth spurt and shoot up to your height. Or when my abs look like the woman in the Pilates video. Whichever comes first.”