Page 9

VIRUS

The urge to follow Rae was damn near a compulsion, but she needed to be alone. Besides, his son deserved his attention.

forced himself to focus on the movie. One ended, and the kids begged for another, so they started another. He plopped himself on the floor next to Adam and before long, his son was leaning against his arm.

The feeling was indescribable. ’s heart was firmly clutched in Adam’s chubby little hands. Never ever to be returned, and he was so fucking okay with that.

The ogre on the screen wished away his family and both Adam and June gasped.

June got up and climbed onto Hook’s lap on the couch. He knew how much stock Hook and his Flower put into wishes.

Adam shifted against , before climbing onto his lap. Shyly, he asked, “Would you ever wish me away?” His insecurity damn near killed .

“Never.” He bit out with such force; he felt every cell of his body tense around his son. Forcing himself to relax, he spoke with less force, but no less intensity. “Not in a million years, son. Not in a million years.” He kissed the crown of his head, taking in his scent.

“Mom said God made a mistake.” The anger rose in so fast; he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to control it. The feel of his son in his arms was the only thing that kept him from jumping to his feet and punching something.

Celeste was cruel, that was a fact he knew all too well, but to tell her own son such bullshit was just beyond cruel. He wanted to go to California, dig her up, and kill her again with his bare hands.

As he was thinking of ways to desecrate Celeste’s rotting body in a way that would make a psychopath cringe, Adam’s voice reached him.

“She said I was meant for you and Auntie Rae, but the stork delivered me to the wrong place because he didn’t know where Auntie Rae moved to.”

“Yeah?” he asked with a lump in his throat that felt like a baseball lodged there.

“Yeah. She said he trusted her to love me until you and Auntie Rae could find me and take me home. And she was right—Auntie Rae showed up just as Mommy promised she would before Mommy had to go to tell God all about it.”

Tears flowed unexpectedly from his very soul. They fell for so many reasons. Of all the shit Celeste had done, she’d done right by Adam.

Adam’s words caused him to view Celeste in a different light. Yes, she’d done some fucked-up shit to both him and Rae, and he was sure to others, but that was history. He’d accepted that neither he nor Rae was the same person they were then, but he never thought to see that possibly her sister wasn’t either.

Obviously, she’d been a good mom to Adam and even prepared him for the changes she must’ve known were coming for some time.

Guilt swarmed him, not only for not giving her the benefit of the doubt, but for thinking of digging her up for all the wrong reasons.

“She was right, you know. Auntie Rae and I both love you more than anything, but she’ll always be your mom, you know, even though she’s not here with you.”

“I know, she told me. But she also said it’s okay to call Auntie Rae mommy too.”

It amazed how matter of fact he was about losing his mom. He owed Celeste for that; he knew that with every fiber of his being. She’d done everything she could to make up for her past mistakes.

When he’d read her letter, he scoffed at everything in it, because he was seeing through the lens of the past. He needed to re-read it with the glasses removed, so to speak.

Silently, he vowed he’d always put Adam and Rae above all else, including his own wants and desires. He swallowed the lump in his throat.

leaned in to a sleepy Adam’s ear and asked a question he didn’t want the answer to but needed. “If Auntie Rae can’t stay here, would you miss her too much to be happy here?” He was careful to say can’t, not want. also didn’t want to frame it as Adam picking Rae over him. Adam freely accepted as his, but they’d just met. He’d known Rae longer, and she’d been with both him and his mom when he lost her. That was a bond he would never want to sever between them.

Adam answered with the unrestrained honesty of a child. “Yes. I want to be with Auntie Rae forever and ever—she’d my bonus mom.”

Once more, ’s heart swelled and broke at the same time. He knew what he must do, but he didn’t know how he was going to let his son go back to Vegas with Rae, only seeing him on weekends and holidays. But it was what was best for Adam, so he steeled his resolve.

Before he knew it, Adam’s breathing had become steady and deep. He held his sleeping son just like that, for how long, he didn’t know. He would soak up every millisecond of the time he had with him.

When Hook and Nova tucked a sleeping June into the makeshift tent beside him, he reluctantly followed suit.

After a round of good nights, he headed to the bedroom that was to be his and Rae’s for the night.

Nova moved past him and kissed his cheek with a sisterly affection. “It’ll all work out,” she whispered before disappearing down the hall.

“?” Hook called before he exited the room.

“Yeah?”

“You deserve it.”

“What?” He wasn’t asking what he deserved, but more, why the hell he’d said it.

“Don’t fuck it up on purpose because you think you don’t deserve it or that they don’t deserve you, because you do, and they do.”

turned to him and crossed his arms. Ready to tell Hook to shut the fuck up. His words cut way deeper than was ready to admit.

“You can drop the stance. It’s just us, and I know what you’re doing.”

“Yeah, and what is that?” Fuck Hook for being … well, Hook.

“You’re going to send him away with your woman because you think you’re not good enough for them.”

What the hell? How did that fucker know what was in his head?

Hook crossed his arms across his chest. “Tell me I’m wrong and I’ll apologize and go to bed.”

couldn’t tell him that, because Hook was one hundred percent correct. He couldn’t pursue Rae after all that had passed between him. On the other hand, he couldn’t ask his son to give her up. The only solution was to honor half of Celeste’s wishes, and give Adam Rae.

At first, he’d wondered why Rae hadn’t told him of her sister’s wishes to raise Adam together. Celeste’s letter said she’d made her wishes known to Rae. It took him no time to puzzle out that she didn’t want to be with him. Earlier, he’d thought maybe she could give him another chance. The way she’d looked at him, it felt like home, but maybe it was just wishful thinking on his part.

“Tell me,” Hook taunted.

“I fucking can’t.” He growled and raked his hand through his close-cropped hair. shifted his gaze toward the tent and detected no movement. He lowered his voice.

“I can’t say it because it’s true. I’m going to share custody with Rae, and I’ll visit him in Vegas. They’re better off without me.”

“That’s fucking bullshit, and you know it. You’re scared and you’re looking to punish yourself for every mistake you’ve ever made. And what better way to inflict pain on yourself than to give up everything you love?”

stared slack jawed at his enforcer.

“What the hell makes you think that?” He tried to sound as incredulous as possible but failed.

“Because.” Hook pointed to his freshest ink, a dandelion. “I thought the exact same thing about them. I was scared to hope or wish for the likes of them because I was convinced I didn’t deserve it. My past made me unlovable, or so I thought. But this—” he indicated the tattoo once again—“was a fresh start. A clean slate. They didn’t see my past, they saw me.”

Hook slapped his hand over his heart. “They saw me, and when I accepted the love that was offered, I saw myself the way they did.”

His smile was wistful and not at all what most would expect on a tattooed face like his. “It changed my whole life, they changed it.”

“But Rae saw my past, Hook, that’s the difference. My past is sleeping right there.” The hurt and longing in his heart was bleeding into his voice.

“Saw is past tense, my brother. The way she looked at you tonight was not like she was seeing your past, but her future. Her future with you and Germ.”

The gravity of his words didn’t sink in before the last word did. “Germ?”

“Yeah, a little version of a virus—Germ.” Hook practically beamed. The man seemed to pride himself on the nicknames he gave people. Hell, he was the reason Bigfoot’s road name had officially been changed about a year back to Sasquatch. It started casually , but before everyone knew it, even Prez was calling him that, and so were other chapters, so they’d made the change official.

just shook his head.

“But seriously.” He clapped him on the shoulder. “You deserve to be happy, and I promise you, sending them away won’t do that for any of you. Fight, . Fight for your family, even if that fight is with yourself.”

With that, Hook vanished down the hall in the same direction Nova had earlier.

walked to the room in a daze, mulling over not just Hook’s words, but Adam’s as well. It would be easier to cut off a limb than send either one of them away. Dare he hope?

After stripping down as far as he dared, he crawled into bed with Rae. She turned into him almost immediately and a feeling of rightness slid over him. As gingerly as possible, he wrapped his arms around her and buried his nose if her hair. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her away again. She’d fled from him earlier in the living room because she either couldn’t handle his need for her or didn’t want to. He wouldn’t push her.

Even if he killed him, and it might well do just that, he’d move at her pace if they were going to try this thing. He prayed Hook was right about everything he’d said. God, how he prayed.

Rae mumbled something he couldn’t make out in her sleep, and he stroked her back to calm her. When it worked it did something to his hopes, it floated them up into an almost physical existence.

She slipped her knee up, stroking his cock with it, and he groaned at the sensations that rocketed through his bloodstream. Fuck if he didn’t go instantly hard to the point of pain. But he wouldn’t roll her over and bury himself in her, no matter how much he wanted to.

Her pace, her pace, her pace. That was what he chanted over and over in his head because he damn sure couldn’t sleep with a hard dick and the woman he loved right there, touching his dick regardless of her intention.

With a regret so profound, he lowered one hand under the covers and adjusted her knee off his throbbing dick. It protested the loss of contact, as did he, but he had to let her call the shots. If he did what his body was screaming to do and she regretted it, it would kill him. If he thought he couldn’t live without her and Adam, he would perish if he had to do so after causing her more heartache.

He kissed her head and said what he’d wanted to say since she walked back into his life. Something he’d repeated to her more times than he could count, even if her proclamation wouldn’t follow.

“I love you, Sunny, and nothing in this world or the next will ever change that.” He said it exactly the way he used to.

“I love you too, Darrin, through all time and across any galaxy.”

He swallowed a gasp at her response and tried not to wake her. He never thought he’d hear it again, never dreamed. Her words, words he heard in his head over the last years, had finally left her mouth once again, but she was asleep.

Did she mean them, or was it habit? Fuck if he didn’t want to shake her awake and asked her. But, if he were honest with himself, he was too much of a coward to do that. Nothing much in this life scared him, but her taking those words back—that terrified him.

He closed his eyes tight, willing himself to sleep with those words in his heart. Just as he thought he’d be successful in the attempt, Rae’s breathing changed.

feigned sleep. Yes, they needed to talk, but they could do that tomorrow. He needed those to be the last words in his heart for the night.

Please , he begged any deity listening. Please, let her drift off again.

It was not meant to be because she spoke against his chest after wrapping her arm around him tight.

“Can we do it? Can we raise that sweet little boy together and not shred each other’s hearts again in the process?”

One question answered—Celeste must’ve told Rae her wishes. Of course she would’ve.

wasn’t sure if she was actually asking him or was speaking her truth to his sleeping form, kind of how he had when he proclaimed his love to her. He didn’t expect her to hear and wasn’t in a place to do so when she was awake.

Before he could decide if to answer or just let her get it out, she spoke again.

“I’m scared, .”

Again, he remained silent.

“I mean, I love you both so much, but … we’re two people with a history of toxic behavior who bring out the worst in each other. Is that really what’s best for Adam or us?”

’s brain practically short-circuited after she proclaimed not only her love for him, but for his son, too. While she was obviously awake.

Whether she wanted an answer or not, she was going to get a definitive, unmistakable one. Plans to let her lead the way unintentionally flew right out the window.

He rolled them over, hovering above her. Her gorgeous blue eyes flew open in shock. So she did think he was sleeping.

“Fuck yes, it is.” He kissed her lips with a buildup of passion that had been brewing for years and he was powerless to stop it from overflowing from his lips to hers and back again.

Pulling back just enough to speak was damn near impossible.

“There is no one on the whole fucking planet I’d rather raise him with than you, Sunny. You have to feel that.”

“But—”

He was done with her protests.

“But nothing. You never brought out the worst in me, sweetheart, I did. I loved but didn’t care the way I should’ve. I’m sorry, but that’s the last time either one of us will say that word about shit that’s over and done with. We are fucking finished with apologizing for the past and beating ourselves up for what we can’t change.”

He saw the argument brewing in her eyes, so he kissed her silent again before pulling back far enough to look deep into her eyes.

“Just answer this, Rae. Do you want to stay and build a family with me?”

When she inhaled, he placed a finger on her lips.

“Don’t get bogged down in the details. We can work on anything we need to, and we can grow together, as long as we both want it. So, it’s a simple yes or no, Rae. Do you want to?”

The longer she stared without answering, the more his hope died a slow death. When a tear leaked from a corner of her eye, his soul shriveled. He was about to roll off her and just accept his life as it would be, without her or even the hope of her. If it weren’t for Adam, he wouldn’t, couldn’t, keep going.

Rae’s arms rose shakily to wrap around his neck, and she nodded her head.

’s brain was processing the actions when she whispered one syllable.

“Yes.”

That one word was everything. It could sustain his soul for a lifetime.

“But—” she started to amend.

“But nothing. You love me, I love you, and we both love Adam—the rest is just noise, Sunshine.”

When he dropped his lips to hers in a kiss, it was a little different from just moments before. It was the kiss of years in the making, a kiss of promise, a taste of the future.

It was an exchange of more than passion or longing, or even love, it was a promise of life. With Rae, he could finally live again, not just exist.

The sealing of a bond.

groaned at the taste of her. The sensation of her in his arms was borderline overwhelming. When she ground up against him, the heat of her pussy against his rock-hard dick sent his body into overdrive. Fuck, he would perish if he didn’t get inside her.

reached toward the nightstand out of habit and reality crashed into him.

Not that they’d ever used one in the past, but they weren’t the same stupid kids anymore. had religiously used protection ever since Rae. Even with Celeste, but there was a mishap that time. But when he encountered something fluffy on the nightstand instead of his wallet, he remembered where he was.

“Shit,” he cursed. “We can’t do this.”

“Why?”

He dropped his forehead to hers with a half laugh, half groan. “Because, Sunny, we’re in a little girl’s bed.”

Her laugh was like a balm to his soul. It was like no time and so much time had passed all at once.

“Are you opposed to a little girl’s floor?” She wiggled under him, and he reared back to stare.

“You want me to make love to you after years apart on the floor?” Why the idea shocked him, he didn’t know. Rae had never been shy about what she wanted and how she wanted it, at least when it came to sex.

“No, I want you to fuck me like you haven’t fucked me in years on the floor. We can make love later. Right now, I just need you.”

wanted their reunion to be more romantic for Rae than a frantic encounter where someone was definitely going to catch a case of rug burn, but it was impossible to say no to her.

Especially when she shoved her hands in his boxers and stroked his cock.

With very little grace, he wrapped one arm around her back and lifted her a few inches off the bed as her legs wrapped around his waist. Still at an angle, he managed to maneuver them over the edge of the bed with minimal discomfort. His socked foot on the floor slipped on the carpet. Turning their bodies, he took the brunt of the impact when he failed to catch his balance.

The wind was knocked out of him, but he still managed to laugh, and so did Rae. Usually, a woman’s laughter at such a moment was a bad sign, but not with them. He felt like he was teleported back in time.

Rae glanced down at his feet, or more accurately, his colorful socks. When she turned back to him with a raised eyebrow, he smiled.

“Still wearing loud socks, I see.” Yeah, it was something he still did, mostly because of her. She had bought him a new pair anytime she found a crazy-looking pair.

“Yep, they remind me of you.”

Rae’s laughs turned to sexy moans as she rubbed against him. Pulling his cock free from his boxers, Rae used it to slide her shorts and underwear to the side and sink down on him.

“Fuck,” he shouted, and she slapped her hand over his mouth. Shushing him between her moans and dying bouts of laughter.

“Home,” he chanted against her hand as he grabbed her hips and thrust up into her.

Home.