Page 6

RAE

A sad smile crossed her lips. As much as they needed to get it all out, it wasn’t going to be easy.

“You said Celeste admitted a part in our demise. Is she the reason you broke up with me?” He sounded stunned.

“Yes and no.” shook her head and broke eye contact with him. “It wasn’t one thing, it was an accumulation of a million little things, none of it was your fault. Celeste always wanted you, she admitted as much, even back then, but I always wrote it off as joking, you know?”

“Yeah, she was a little relentless.” He spoke low.

The way he said it, there was so much more to the story. She loved her sister, or who she wanted her sister to be, even though it was obvious to everyone else that Celeste never cared for as a sister should, apparently even Virus, though he’d never said anything.

“Anyway, I let her get in my head. I never even saw it coming because it was so slow. I don’t even remember when it started, but I remember the final straw.”

Virus took her hand in his, interlacing their fingers and laid them on the top of the table. stared down at their hand, and he stared at her.

“Remember the day when she conned you into flipping her mattress, and I walked in to find you on top of her on her bed?”

He shuddered. “Of course I remember. But I explained that I was moving the mattress and fell, and you laughed because Celeste was laughing—” He looked confused.

“I know, and I believed you. But later that day, Celeste told me a different story. One where you were both willing participants, and I walked in, so you came up with the moving mattress story on the fly. I didn’t want to believe her, but her hands were between you, and it looked pretty damning, but I was stupid and naive.”

“Sunny, I never told you the whole story, and that’s on me. Maybe if I’d told you everything back then, she couldn’t have poisoned the well. As I was reaching for the mattress, Celeste ducked under my arm and got between me and the bed. I was shocked, so I didn’t really react. She pulled me on top of her and laughed like a hyena. That’s when you walked in.”

She gave him a sad smile. “That sounds about par for the course.”

Virus raised their joined hands and placed a kiss on the back of hers.

“I should’ve trusted you, not her. But at the time, it all fell into place. What I saw with my eyes aligned with her version.”

“I understand why you didn’t though, . I get it. It looked really bad; I can see that now. I wish I could’ve seen it back then.”

“Again, I should’ve trusted you, not her. Celeste may have planted the seeds, but I cultivated and nurtured them.”

“Stop saying that.” He seemed disproportionately angry.

“Why? It’s the truth. When you love someone, you trust them.”

“Because.” He paused and his hold on her hand tightened. “I … could see you pulling away. You were practically begging for me to reassure you, and I didn’t. I thought, well, it doesn’t matter what I thought. I should’ve trusted you too.”

She nodded. What else could she do? It was true; he had been so distant, and his behavior made every word Celeste had to say seem true. Of course, wasn’t going to start pointing fingers. That would get them nowhere.

“I’m so fucking sorry, babe. I should’ve said something. Told you how I felt and maybe …”

She squeezed his hand. “That’s enough of that for now. Can we agree on that?”

He didn’t answer.

As much as she wanted all the answers. Needed to hear everything, she was just too emotionally drained in that department to comprehend any more truths for the day.

pulled her hand free. Not just to dash her tears, but to create a touch of distance. She would fall back into him and never come up for air if she wasn’t careful. She’d been there, done that, and got the emotional trauma.

“Let’s just accept that we were both immature and stupid. We both played parts in the demise of us, even though I was the one who ran away, so let’s go with seventy-five,” she pointed to herself. “Twenty-five.” She pointed to him. It was her attempt at deflection. Too many emotions too fast. Just one after another for the last month.

“Don’t downplay what I did, . I betrayed you.”

“Well, yeah, you could’ve slept with anyone else after we broke up, and it would’ve been an easier hurdle, but when did we ever do anything the easy way?”

He laughed. It lightened the past just a little.

“Virus, I’m not making excuses. I’m just trying to look at this through the lens of truth that I either didn’t have back then or maybe the lack of maturity to see my part too.”

Darrin, um, Virus, rolled his eyes.

“Still, I was wrong, and I’m so fucking sorry.”

“And I forgive you.”

It was almost comical how wide his hazel eyes got. The hard edges of his face softened as her words sank in.

Virus quirked a brow at her again in that way he used to when he was being challenging and fun. She got lost for a minute in his gaze. It vacillated between happy and hopeful. It was nothing like the gooey-eyed look he’d given Adam, but it was warm and familiar all the same. He knew her so well; knew she had something to say.

“I want to preface this with, I forgave you a long time ago, even unblocked your number last year. I hoped you’d call, but I understand why you didn’t.”

His lips quirked up on one side, and it took years off his appearance. It made the scruff on his face move in such a way she didn’t resist the urge to reach up and stoke his cheek.

When his eyes closed and he rubbed against her hand, it was her undoing. leaned forward and kissed him. It was chaste as far as kisses go, but it was powerful and held more emotion than any kiss she could remember.

She pulled away before Darrin took over, and boy was he trying. His hands were already on her face, trying to hold her there. A touch that felt achingly familiar. Even after all the time and distance, it was like nothing had changed and everything had. Hesitantly, she leaned back, and he allowed her retreat.

“I pulled up your number more times than I can count over the years, . At first, I’d let it ring through. After a year or so, I quit hitting the call button, just pulled up the contact and stared.” He reached into his pocket and retrieved his phone. Swiping and tapping. “I still pull it up almost weekly, but I was too much of a chicken shit to ever try to connect the call after that.”

He sounded like he could kick himself. For what, she could only assume.

Virus slid the phone across the table to her. When she looked down, there was a picture of them, smiling and happy. An ache formed in her heart.

“Is that …?”

“Yeah, the Taylor concert.”

“One of the last times we were truly happy and not suspicious of each other or hurling accusations,” she mumbled, not meaning to speak the words aloud.

“Yeah. It was a magical night.”

It sure was. The night he’d lifted her hand and quietly slid the ring on her finger during the line, “baby just say yes.” She’d nodded and that was that. They were engaged. No one knee or waiting for a yes. It just was.

The next day was when she started to freak out. Celeste—in hindsight—ramped up her efforts with planting doubts. Her sister was a real piece of work. took a deep breath.

B ut I’m the one who believed her.

“At least you got rid of the other photo.” She quipped in an attempt to shake off the wave of sadness and ownership that washed over her as she handed his phone back.

“Oh, you mean …” Virus swiped a few times and flipped the screen in her direction. “This one?”

She was met with her face, but younger and more carefree. Tongue out and eyes crossed, making a goofy face.

“Oh my god, delete that right now.” She reached for the phone, and he lifted it over his head.

“Darrin Allen Westbrook.”

“Are we pulling out government names now Ailene Nicole Jordon?” shot him a withering look before crossing her arms in a pout.

“I look awful in that picture. I don’t know why you love it so much.” He did too.

She regretted taking goofy pictures every time he left his phone unattended after he’d saved that one to a secret location. She’d spent months trying to find it whenever he stepped away to go to the bathroom or grab a drink.

That should have been her first clue Celeste had been lying about him. He never hid his phone from her. Don’t cheaters always do that? Change the passcode so their girlfriends don’t accidentally find texts and stuff they shouldn’t? Darrin never did that. He handed it over freely, left it unattended, and had the same passcode forever.

“No, you didn’t, . You looked perfect in it. You were happy and beaming … and you were mine.” His voice trailed to a barely there whisper on the last three words.

looked at him with a new perspective, one that should’ve been standard, and the full force of her foolishness hit her like a sledge to the face. She was an idiot. Not only had he not cheated, she’d actually driven him to her sister’s bed.

“Darrin, I’m so sorry. I should’ve given you the benefit of the doubt. You deserved it. Earned it. Instead, I let?—”

“No. Stop, . You apologized for that so many times in the last hour, I lost count. It wasn’t your fault. I made the choices I made, regardless of what you said and did.”

“But—”

“No buts, Sunny. No regrets, right? Just a past that is what it is. We can’t go back and change it. As much as both of us wish we could, we can’t. All we can do is move forward.”

Virus cupped her cheek, stroking it rhythmically with his thumb.

“But how can we? There’s so much there, so much you don’t know and should. Just so much … everything.”

Virus gently turned her face toward the ball pit. “That’s how. It’s not about you or even me, it’s about Adam. I don’t want him for one second to think I regret him. You may not have known about him for long, but longer than me. He clearly adores you. I’m scared shitless and would really appreciate it if we could make this as smooth for him as possible. He’s already lost a lot.”

He let his words hang on the air. She filled in the blanks and she recoiled.

At some point, she had to tell him about Celeste’s wishes. Even if they weren’t made official, she’d do what she could to honor them, although she was afraid she’d lose herself in the process. That’s what happened before. Darrin was such a dominant presence that she became his girlfriend, then his fiancée, and people barely called her by her name. That was why she let Celeste into her head. She had been feeling like she was losing herself, and it left her vulnerable.

Hell, she was already slipping back toward Darrin with less resistance than she expected. In theory, she’d had a backbone and prepped herself up not to fall back into his arms, but five minutes in his presence and her heart was home. It had never really left.

Fuck, she was so screwed.

All her well-laid plans to avoid any emotional attachments flew out the window with the first sight of him.

Now he was being … just perfect. Was it even possible for them to pick back up where they started? No.

“Darrin, we can’t just pick back up where we left off. It would be an exercise in futility. And like you said, it’s about Adam. He doesn’t need the toxicity that was us near the end.”

“I know.” Again, he sounded so defeated.

“But then again, I wouldn’t want to go backward. I wasn’t a great person back then.”

“Ditto.”

“Then why don’t we start over instead? Not as Darrin and Sunny, because that’s not who we are anymore.”

He stood, took two steps back, then turned her way, striding back right where he came from.

“Hey, pretty lady. Is this seat taken?” He indicated the place on the bench seat next to her.

giggled. An air of lightness encompassed her for the first time in years. “Nope, it’s all yours.”

“I’m Virus.”

She studied his movements as he tossed a denim clad leg over the bench. They were tight and she could see the play of his muscles. Yum.

Rein it in, you hornball.

“I’m Ailene, but my friends call me .” She extended her hand.

“It’s nice to meet you, .” He took her hand in his, but instead of shaking it, or even kissing the back of it, he lifted it to his mouth and licked her palm, snaking his tongue between her fingers before she snatched it back.

“Really.” She laughed. “Is that how you greet someone you’ve never met?”

He gave her that schoolboy smile, the same one that dropped her panties for him years ago. “No.” He admitted. “I just went with it. Sorry, let’s try again.”

Virus tugged his cut, cleared his throat, and sat up straighter. “So, , tell me a little about yourself?”

“What do you want to know?”

“What do you do for work?”

“I shoot people for a living. How about you?”

A loud burst of masculine laughter came from her left and she looked over at the next table. Virus’s club was seated there and had scooted to the end of the table closest to them, obviously eavesdropping.

“You sure you don’t wanna give Santa a try? I promise I deliver more than once a year.” His words drew a scowl from Virus.

“No can do, Santa. I have a strict policy about not dating anyone who refers to themselves in the third person.”

The laughter that followed was the perfect remedy to lift some of the tension that had formed.

Virus was leaned toward her, invading her personal space. Elbow on the table with the back of his index finger rhythmically stroking her bare bicep. It was the slightest of touches, but it felt intimate … familiar. It seemed as if he didn’t even realize he was doing it.

He gazed deep into her eyes, and she saw genuine happiness there. “You did it.”

“Yep, I did.” She didn’t need to ask what he meant any more than he needed to ask her about shooting people. He knew exactly what she’d meant by it.

“I’m so proud of you. I never doubted you for a minute. Who do you shoot for?”

“Myself.” The way his eyes widened in shock was comical. “I carved out my own niche. I do mostly book covers. However, I do get some fun commissions every now and then, but it’s mostly the independent romance authors that keep me fed.”

A scowl replaced his smile, but when she raised a brow in question, he smoothed out his look. “Sorry, we just met, I forgot.”

“We can get back to being near perfect strangers after you explain that.” She indicated his face. In doing so, she dislodged his touch to her bicep, and she missed it.

Virus just stared at her, not answering.

“Shirtless men.” The big guy from the other table called. She wasn’t introduced to him, so she didn’t know his name, but he was the biggest of all Virus’s friends.

Santa piped in an exasperated tone, like she was clueless, and she kind of was. “He don’t like the idea of you oiling up Fabio’s chest for them covers.”

It was ’s turn to laugh so loud it drowned out the constant buzz of kids having fun.

“There is so much wrong with that statement I don’t even know where to start.” Shaking her head, she turned her attention back to Virus.

He looked apologetic. “I have no right to be jealous, but …” The words trailed off, and she knew he was as uncomfortable with the thought as she would be if it were reversed. Hell, it kinda had been.

No matter the time and events that had passed between them, there were still a lot of emotions there.

“Yeah,” was all she could say. An uncomfortable silence took over.

She couldn’t take it anymore, so she went back to their game of having just met. “What about you? What do you do?”

“I work in security. Mostly on the cyber side, but some real-world shit, too.”

“Interesting.”

“Oh, and I got a kid. He’s six, and I fell in love with him the second I saw him.”

’s heart melted at that. She’d always known he’d be an amazing dad. They’d talked about their family plans enough to know he wanted a whole passel of kids, at least back then. She’s always told him her uterine limit was three. After that, they’d have to adopt.

“That’s awesome. I always knew you’d make a great dad.” Oops, she hadn’t meant to say that. It seemed so much safer to stick to the just met scenario. Safer and easier.

“Gave you that impression since I sat down, huh?” Apparently for him too.

“Yeah, of course, since I’ve never met you before. It was the hand lick that did it. Anyone who will lick a stranger’s hand can handle a walking petri dish with a perpetual runny nose and an attitude, but also the most chewable cheeks in the world.”

They shared a laugh, and the tension eased yet another notch.

“Do you wanna go to dinner sometime?” Virus asked.

Again, with that swoon-worthy smile.

Could she? Sure, they were starting over, but could she trust herself not to just fall into bed with him?

Before she could answer, a human torpedo ran into both their backs, wrapping his arms around them as much as he could manage.

“Can I stay with June?”

Adam swung his head back and forth between and Virus, waiting for permission.

“Sorry to put you on the spot. The kids hatched the plot in the ball pit. I didn’t get a chance to warn you. It’s no trouble though. The kids want to pitch a tent in the living room and camp in.”

Nova must’ve seen the look of panic on her face because she hurriedly added, “You’re invited too.”

really wanted Virus to spend time with Adam. He needed to get to know him before he took on single father duties full time. Her chest ached at the thought of not seeing Adam every morning. It had only been a few weeks, but he was a part of her life she didn’t know how to give up.

“What about Virus? Can you make room for him, too?” She didn’t realize he had his hand on her knee until he squeezed it. The look shimmering in his hazel eyes almost did her in. It was gratitude mixed with some emotions she couldn’t or wouldn’t name.

“You bet,” Hook added, “We just upgraded June’s twin to a double.”

Oh, fuck.

She could barely resist him in a pizza place for kids. How was she to keep him at arm’s length in the same bed?