Page 7 of Inadmissible

Taj

P lacing my heart in the hands of the wrong man, wrong men, taught me a lesson I never wanted to have to learn again.

It taught me that I’d given up the protection of my most valuable organ—my heart—to men who didn’t deserve it.

Men who hadn’t earned it. Men who weren’t capable of protecting it .

. . protecting me. I’d put my heart on a chopping block for them to destroy every time I got into a relationship with a man I shouldn’t have been with.

A groan escaped me when I realized I wouldn’t have enough gas to make it to my brother’s house so he could take it to the gas station.

I was sure if I called him he’d meet me there, but it wasn’t that big of a deal.

I’d rather pump it myself than have to wait for him to meet me.

It was only a few minutes away from where I was, so I didn’t have to worry about running out of gas.

When I pulled into the gas station and saw a Black man that looked to be around my age getting out of his car, I frowned.

I was so disgusted with men at this point I didn’t even want to park my car by his.

It wasn’t until I drove to the other side of the gas station that I realized how crazy that was.

There were literally four other pumps available, yet I went to the other side just to avoid being near a man. A man I didn’t even know.

At first, I laughed, but that turned into me crying.

I hated how I hated a man I didn’t even know because of what Destin had done to me.

Wiping my face, I accepted a hard truth.

I may have been able to accept the lie that what my parents shared was love.

And maybe my mother really did love my father, but he certainly didn’t love her.

The manipulation, betrayal, cheating, and lies proved he only loved himself.

Now that I’d dated men who cheated as well, there was no way I could ever mistake that for love.

I realized I needed to isolate and take some time for myself. This situation was robbing me of my warmth. My sweetness. My softness. My faith in men and love. Regardless of how little I wanted to be in a relationship any time soon, I couldn’t let this change me.

My exhale came out hard as I walked toward my apartment.

There was a time I couldn’t get enough of Destin.

Now, I hated the sight of him. I didn’t even mind him popping up, because this would be the last time he’d see me.

My plan had already been made. At 3:00 PM, I was going to check into Rose Valley Hotel.

The partners at my law firm already had my expedited request for time off.

Whether I spent that time off here or traveling, I needed a fucking break.

While I was gone, Tyler was going to coordinate having my things moved out of the apartment and into storage until I figured out where I wanted to move.

I didn’t want Destin feeling like he could pop up at my place whenever he wanted to, and plus, I was tired of being haunted by the memories we shared there.

Moving seemed drastic, but at this point, I was willing to do whatever it took to start protecting my heart again . . . and my peace.

“What do you want, Destin?” I asked, unable to mask the tiredness in my tone.

“Can we talk?”

“I already told you that I have absolutely nothing to say to you.”

“Can we please work this out, baby? I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“That can’t be true. If it was, you wouldn’t have done something that you knew would cause you to lose me.”

“That’s why I didn’t want to tell you about the baby until we were married. I knew if you found out before the wedding that you wouldn’t marry me.”

“You think that’s the only reason I called the wedding off?

Yes, the baby was a huge blow, but the baby wouldn’t have even been an issue had you not cheated to begin with.

You didn’t just cheat once. You’ve been in a relationship with her for God only knows how long, but at least for the last eight or nine months.

That baby will be a daily reminder of you cheating on me, so yeah, there’s literally no way on Earth I will ever be with you again. ”

“You sure about that?”

Chuckling, I brushed past him and stuck my key in the lock. “Never been more sure of anything else in my fucking life, buddy.”

“Aight. Well . . . I guess I’ll go ahead and press charges against your brother then since you don’t want to be with me. Ain’t no point in me protecting him now.”

There was nothing humorous about the conversation. In fact, it was quite sad. That didn’t keep me from laughing again though.

“So you want to add blackmail to the list of horrible things you’ve done to me, Destin? That’s where we are now?”

“Hey . . . I’m just saying.” He smiled and stepped closer to me, as if he just knew this was the key to getting me back.

“I’m not blackmailing you at all. I didn’t press charges because I was trying to show you I could be the bigger man.

If you aren’t going to give me another chance, I will press charges against your brother, Taj.

Do you want to be responsible for that?”

Before I could stop myself, I was smacking the spit out of his mouth. My entire body shook as my tears threatened to fall. But these weren’t sad tears; they were angry tears. As soon as he stood upright, I smacked him again.

“How dare you!” I yelled. “You cheated on me for at least half of our relationship, got her pregnant, and planned to withhold that truth from me until we were married. And you have the nerve to threaten to send my brother to prison for protecting me . . . as if his actions are the problem here? You don’t get to decide how I respond to your betrayal and disrespect, and you certainly don’t get to punish me for leaving you by going after my brother.

I’d like to see you try, by the way. He took it easy on you, but I promise that won’t be the case if you even think about pressing charges on him. ”

After walking into my apartment, I slammed the door in his dumb ass face. A low growl escaped me as I stormed toward my bedroom. I was in even more of a rush to get the hell up out of here now.