Page 20 of Inadmissible

Taj

O ur first date had been absolutely perfect.

Instead of going for fancy and intimate, he picked fun and laid-back.

Tristan started our date with a trip to the bookstore because I told him I loved reading.

He made it fun by giving me five minutes to grab as many books as I wanted.

I ended up spending like three hundred dollars the first time.

The pressure of thinking about the clock had me overthinking my selections, but I had such a fun time racing down the aisles.

After that, he let me take my time going down every aisle to get everything else I wanted.

Next, we had dinner, then we went skating.

I had an absolute blast and laughed more than I had in a really long time.

We then went downtown to bar hop. At the first place, we planned a trip to Mexico for April.

I realized in that moment he was checking off every hobby on my list, and that made me like this man every more.

After the travel plans were made, we hit about five or six bars, getting one drink and appetizer before heading to the next place.

The great thing about the downtown area was you never knew what you would stumble across, so by the time I was good and tipsy, a live band was out in the square.

We danced and sang and enjoyed the vibe until well after midnight.

My cheeks were hurting from me smiling so much as I got comfortable in his car.

I reached across to open the door for him before getting comfortable.

There was no doubt in my mind that when I got home, I was going to take the quickest shower in life and have the best tipsy sleep of my life.

“Baby, this was so much fun!” I told him as he started the car. “This was the best first date ever. I loved it. You did so well.”

“Good. I’m happy you’re happy. I really enjoyed myself with you.”

“You’re like . . . a real friend.” He looked at me curiously, and it was probably because he was trying to see if I was drunk.

“You know sometimes, you’re in a relationship and you don’t have anything in common with that person.

Or, you say y’all are friends but you’re really not friends.

You’re really my friend. We have fun together, we can chill together, we can work together, and we can be intimate—physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.

I’ve never had a man that I could have this much recreational fun with. You’re like perfect for me.”

“Look at you opening up and sharing how you feel.”

My eyes rolled playfully as I smiled. “You’ve earned it.”

“Good. I’ma keep earning it too. But you’re right.

I’ve had a few women I could do some things with, but they’ve never really been someone I’d call a friend.

Like, if we weren’t dating, I wouldn’t hang out with them platonically.

That’s not the case with you. I see you as a true friend.

I’m glad you’re my lover as well, but I appreciate our friendship too. ”

He made a pit stop to the dispensary to get a couple of prerolls and liquid weed for himself because I didn’t smoke. I’d take a gummy if it was a holiday and I wanted to really enjoy myself, but that was about it. As we continued to his place, we started talking about our goals and desires.

Tristan asked me what I wanted and needed, and I took the time to think about it.

I wanted a trustworthy man and needed respect.

At this point, love would be a bonus. I’d convinced myself I didn’t even want it anymore, so if I got it, it would be a sweet treat.

Tristan shared with me that he wanted companionship and needed to feel cared for, which made sense since service was his love language.

“And I want my own family too,” he said.

“Community is big for me. Professionally, platonically, and romantically. I was blessed with the family I was born in. We’re all close.

My partners at the firm have become my closest friends.

Now . . . I need my wife and kids.” He looked over at me, and though I smiled, I avoided his eyes.

“Yeah, being close to your family is a true blessing. My mom and I are really close now, but it wasn’t like that in my teenaged years. I was angry with her for staying with him, you know? You know how I feel about my brother, but other than that, I don’t really have a lot of family.”

“You can have mine. I’d love to share them with you.”

That made me look over at him. “You’re gonna make me love you, aren’t you?”

Tristan chuckled and took my hand into his.

He kissed my palm and the top of my hand.

“That’s certainly my plan, sweetheart. I think you think I be playing when I say you’re going to be my wife.

Well you already are my wife to me, but yeah.

We’re going to get married one day. Tell me what you want for our family.

Tell me how you want it to differ from your parents’ family with you and your brother.

I wanna make sure I give you what you desire. ”

For the first time, I didn’t think about the worst that could happen. I didn’t remind myself I couldn’t trust him. I didn’t assume he was just running game. I simply considered his question and answered.

“I want babies. Lots of babies. I want my children to know what it feels like to have close siblings because Ty was truly my saving grace when we were growing up. I want them to see a woman being loved and cherished and protected and prioritized and valued and a man being honored and considered and cared for and respected and loved. I want them to see us as husband and wife and not just their parents, so they’ll know what healthy love looks like.

I want us to have our own traditions for holidays.

Summers in the Hamptons, fall at Martha’s Vineyard, winters at a west coast beach.

I . . .” My mouth snapped shut as emotion overtook me.

“Your crybaby ass,” he teased, lifting my hand and kissing it again as I laughed.

“Hey, I’m a Pisces. Leave me alone.”

“You got that shit honest too. Your sensitivity and emotions are safe with me. And so is your desire for love and romance. Keep going though, sweetheart.”

“I just want a family that’s safe and mine. I want a man that’s mine and only mine. I don’t want to share you with another woman, Tristan. If I ever had to, I wouldn’t want you anymore. You’d lose all value to me.”

“I agree 100 percent. I said something along those exact same lines to my ex when she cheated. I’m way too territorial to share. It’s not an insecurity but straight up the fact that if you’re mine, you’re mine. I don’t want a woman any other man can have.

“I take great pride in having a woman no other man can have access to, and if I can be completely honest, the more I know a woman is just mine, the harder I go to make sure she’s loved and satisfied, because I never want to risk losing her.

” Tristan used his hand to tilt my head in his direction.

“You’re my prize and reward for life, sweetheart.

If God gave you to me, and I honestly believe He did, I’m going to honor and thank Him by cherishing you for the rest of our lives.

You’ll want for nothing with me, and you’ll always be my only woman. ”

I leaned against the console of his Camaro and gave him a quick kiss. “I-I think I wanna love you, angel. I think I wanna try.”

He released a cocky chuckle before kissing me again. “Nah, you’re not gonna try. You’re gonna do.”