Page 6 of Inadmissible

Tristan

After Work

K aos and I went to Jax’s bar for drinks after work.

Anytime I did SWOT Day, it felt more exhausting than a day in court.

I guess that was because I had to talk to so many people over the course of eight to ten hours, and I wasn’t that friendly and sociable with anyone outside of my family and crew.

By the time the day was over, I just wanted to have a few drinks and not speak to anyone for at least the rest of the day. Kaos understood that, which was why he hadn’t bothered to say three words to me since we’d made it to the bar.

The sound of his voice caught me off guard when he said, “Just a heads up . . . Your ex is here, and she’s looking right at you.”

“Which one?” I asked, tilting my glass to my lips to take a sip of the brown liquor.

“Cameron.”

My heart dropped at the mention of her name. I hadn’t seen Cameron since she showed up at my house trying to convince me to take her back. It was a week after the Vegas situation. She called herself giving me time to calm down before she attempted to reconcile, but I wasn’t interested.

I did have love for Cameron. I cared about her deeply, and I did want to be with her, but none of that meant anything when I caught her after she’d cheated.

We’d talked about how important faithfulness was to me after what happened with Kayla.

I did all I could to assure Cameron that she was safe with me and that I’d never cheat on her.

Not once did it ever cross my mind that I’d have to worry about her cheating on me.

For a brief period, I wondered if I was being hypocritical.

I’d cheated . . . Did I really have the right to punish Cameron for cheating by ending things with her?

It took some self-reflection and therapy, but eventually, I realized it wasn’t hypocritical at all.

After cheating and seeing the effects of it, I realized I didn’t want to ever cheat or be cheated on again.

It sucked that the two women I loved had to teach me that lesson, but that was usually how matters of the heart worked.

It wasn’t like I grew up in a toxic, loveless, or single parent household.

My parents were married and completely in love and faithful to each other.

Honestly, I was so used to healthy love that I didn’t realize how toxic and hurtful cheating could be until it affected me personally with Kayla and Cameron.

Now, I would settle for nothing less than the kind of marriage my parents had.

I wanted to love a woman the way my father loved my mother, and I wanted to be as good of a father to my kids as he was to me.

Logically, I was able to work my way through the grieving process of my relationship with Cameron.

We’d been together for three years, so it was a huge adjustment getting used to not having her in my life.

I’d intentionally dated her slowly, hoping I could see as many facets of her as possible before proposing.

It was easier to navigate a regular breakup in comparison to divorce.

That was a fear of mine. I’d get a divorce if I had to, but the hopeless romantic in me wanted my first marriage to be my only marriage, and I wanted it to last forever.

“As long as she doesn’t come over here?—”

“It’s a little too late for that, bruh. She’s on the way.”

Cursing under my breath, I downed the rest of my drink. Just because I’d healed from the betrayal, that didn’t mean I wanted to see or talk to Cameron. It was always triggering seeing a person that hurt you, regardless of how much time had passed.

“Hi.” She spoke softly, sliding into the empty bar stool next to me. She smelled good—like cinnamon and vanilla. I didn’t want to look at her, and I was too drained to even attempt to have a conversation. Still, I knew the quicker I got this over with, the quicker she’d leave me the fuck alone.

“Wassup?” I spoke, glancing her way.

Cameron was beautiful as always—sandy brown skin, juicy lips, slanted eyes.

Her hair was in a curly bun on the top of her head with them little swirly baby hairs that I only used to like on her.

She was prettier than a motherfucker, and I knew men used to shoot their shot at her all the time.

I just . . . thought she’d always block their dick from entering her pussy.

Maybe that was my fault. Maybe I had too much faith in her.

I didn’t think I had to prepare for a woman to cheat on me, but now, I was far less trusting and more careful with who I entertained.

Anyone could say what they wouldn’t do, but the true test of character came when they were in the thick of temptation. If I didn’t see the ways in which a woman showed her integrity, faithfulness, and discipline in her everyday life, I was less willing to take a relationship with her seriously.

“Can we talk?” she asked softly, placing her hand on my back.

I casually shifted so her hand would fall as I shook my head. “It’s been a long day, Cameron.”

“I won’t take up too much of your time. Please.”

Releasing a hard breath, I nodded while motioning for the bartender to refill my glass.

“What’s on your mind, Cam?” I turned slightly to face her.

“I just . . . wanted to apologize. Again. And more sincerely this time. When we were in Vegas, I was so immature and inconsiderate. I didn’t take accountability for my actions at all.

I think I was just shocked that you were there and trying to minimize the situation because I didn’t want to hurt you.

But I did hurt you, unnecessarily at that. I truly am sorry.”

I wasn’t expecting that from her, but it did soften me toward her and make me more willing to have this conversation.

“The why doesn’t matter, but I can’t help but ask why. Why did you do that? Were you lacking in some area that being with me wasn’t satisfying?”

Cameron released a shaky breath as her head shook.

“Not at all. If I can be completely honest, I did it because I wanted to. Because I thought I could get away with it. Things were good between us, and I don’t want you to think me cheating had anything to do with you, because it didn’t.

It was selfish on my part, and I hate that my choice hurt you.

” She paused as her eyes watered. “Would it be out of place for me to ask if you’re seeing anyone?

I pray every day that you’re being loved properly. ”

Now that made me chuckle. “I’m single, so the Big Guy must not be hearing those prayers.”

She smiled. “He is. Maybe the love is just being stored up for when you and the woman meant to give it to you are ready.”

Our eyes remained locked as our smiles fell into something more organic and comfortable.

“You’re not implying that woman is you, right?”

“Oh no, not at all,” she replied with a light laugh. “I know you wouldn’t give me a second chance, and I respect that.”

“Good. Well, I do accept your apology, and even though things ended between us, I hope you find a man that loves you so selflessly that you don’t feel the need to be selfish and satisfy yourself.

All things considered, you were a good woman who made a bad choice. I sincerely wish you well, Cameron.”

Her eyes softened as she smiled and stood. For a moment, I looked at her opened arms before standing and giving her a hug. My body relaxed against her, finding comfort in the familiarity of her embrace.

“I love you, Tristan.”

After kissing the top of her head, I admitted, “I love you too.”

She held me for a few seconds longer before briskly walking away, not even bothering to look back.

Meanwhile, I couldn’t take my eyes off her.

Not until she was out of the bar. While I still had no desire to give her a second chance, I could admit her sincere apology and apparent growth made me respect her more than I did when we first broke up.