Page 15 of Inadmissible

Taj

Mid-January

T he last two weeks went by with a rapid pace.

Tristan had been a man of his word. I liked working at his office versus mine.

When we had meetings there, I felt seen, heard, and respected.

It surprised me to hear what his plan was, but I was grateful that he thought enough about my expertise as an attorney to want me at his firm.

Though he flirted with me here and there, we usually kept things all business when I was at his office.

Every week, he gave me flowers. Every day, he made sure I had coffee when I was coming to the office, and he took care of my lunch.

I found myself growing more and more attracted to the way his mind worked.

Only once had he almost gotten me bent over backwards across his desk, but thankfully, I was able to restrain myself.

If I felt like he would be okay with just sex, I wouldn’t deny us of it, but it was clear he wanted more.

“I don’t want you to feel like you’re settling with me,” I told Tristan as he walked me out of the office. “I know you want a relationship, and I don’t. If I say yes to sex or to this date, I will feel guilty. I’ll feel like . . . I can’t give you what you want.”

“First, it’s not your responsibility to protect me. I protect you,” he clarified, taking my hand into his and stopping me from going outside.

“That’s not entirely true. Your woman might not be tasked to protect you physically, but she should protect your heart. Your mind. Your reputation. That’s the point of our ribs, right? To protect our hearts. Your wife is supposed to do the same.”

He gave me a soft smile before running his fingers through my hair. “You can’t say shit like that and not expect me to want you even more.”

“I’m saying it because I want you to be aware. You’re too good of a man to settle for the little I have to offer.”

“If all you have to offer me right now is your pussy, I will use that to make my way to your heart. I know what I’m up against. Taking my time with you isn’t settling just as long as I know there’s a chance you will one day give me more.

If you can honestly tell me that day will never come, I’ll stop pursuing you. ”

“There she is.”

At the sound of Destin’s voice, my teeth gritted. “My God. He’s like a roach that just won’t die,” I muttered, and Tristan choked on a laugh and used a cough to cover it before wrapping his arm around me and turning me so that we both were facing Destin.

“Here she is, but I believe I told you to stay away from her, didn’t I?” Tristan confirmed.

“I can’t speak to the woman that was so close to being my wife?” His smug grin turned my stomach. Instead of entertaining him, I did something I hoped I wouldn’t regret.

Turning slightly in Tristan’s arms, I told him, “Dinner tonight sounds great, angel. Seven, right?”

His brows bunched for just a moment before he smiled and nodded. “Right. I’ll see you then.”

After placing a quick, sweet kiss on his lips, I walked away.

I didn’t always judge people based on their acquaintances, but being connected to Destin had me questioning Carson.

I could understand his desire to help Destin, but I didn’t think he was capable of change.

If Carson wanted to waste his time on him, who was I to judge?

By the time I made it to my car, I had a text from Tristan.

Pierce: I know you said that to make your ex mad. I’m not expecting you to actually join me tonight.

Before responding, I called my mom. I knew if I called Tyler, he’d tell me to go just because he liked the fact that I was dealing with a man who was just as wild and protective as he was.

Well, maybe not as wild as my brother. And Emilia would tell me to go because Tristan was fine as hell.

I didn’t want my exes to steal my desire for love or my ability to date and trust men, but I had to accept the truth that that’s what I was currently operating out of—fear and mistrust because of them.

“Hey, baby,” she answered sweetly, lowering the volume on the TV.

“Hey, Ma. How’s your day going?”

“Good. You still coming over for dinner tomorrow, right?”

“Yes, ma’am. I’ll be there. I need advice.”

“I’ll certainly try to help.”

“There’s this guy . . .” I couldn’t stop the smile that overtook my face.

“We’ve been working closely together this month, but we met a year ago.

It was right after I found out about Destin and Trenae, and I wasn’t in a good place at all.

” A shaky breath escaped me as my eyes watered.

“Anyway, Tristan helped me when I needed it most, and I never forgot about his kindness. Fast forward to now, we’re working together, but he’s made it very clear he wants to be with me. ”

“Do you want to be with him?”

“I don’t know. I am attracted to him. I don’t know him well enough to say.”

“Hmm. Let me ask you this. How do you feel when you’re with him?”

“Good. Safe. Wanted. Valued. I always enjoy myself with him. Even when we’re working. We balance each other and challenge each other. I love the way his mind works and the way he helps me learn more.”

“When you first meet a man, you’re not actually attracted to him, because you don’t know him.

You’re attracted to the way you feel with him and the things he willingly shows you.

I think you should take your time, but if you enjoy yourself with him, date him.

It doesn’t have to be serious. Just have some fun. ”

“That makes sense. I noticed in past relationships, I started to see changes in men after three months, six months, and a year. By the time they started showing their true colors, I was already hooked and attached.”

“Exactly. If you take your time and give him the space to reveal as many parts of himself as possible, you’ll be good.

The biggest thing is to be with someone who not only has the same priorities and principles as you, but who actually shows them to you in real time. For example, I wanted a man with money.

“What I should have wanted was a generous, giving man who was financially stable. Doesn’t matter if he has money if he’s stingy or doesn’t want to provide.

Or if he uses it for control. Don’t pay attention to the man who takes you to a fancy dinner.

Pay attention to the man who tips well. Who asks what you like and feeds that to you.

Don’t pay attention to the man who says he isn’t a cheater.

Look at his circle. His parents and siblings, his friends.

Look at his discipline and self-respect.

“Does he have daily habits? Does he take care of himself? There are things you can look for to help you feel safer with a man beyond just having to take his word for who he says he is. Don’t just take what he says as truth.

Confirm it with his actions. And if at any point you stop feeling as good as you do in the beginning or if he changes, end it immediately. ”

“I take it you learned this by what you didn’t have with Daddy?”

She chuckled. “Yes. It’s easy to learn what you want when you aren’t getting it and what you don’t want when you are.

” Ma sighed. “Enough of that though. Go out with the man, baby. Life is too short to spend it holding on to the last man’s horrible choices.

You deserve to be loved well, and if you believe this man can do that, give him a chance.

And if you can’t, use him to get your feet wet. And that other thing wet too.”

Gasping, I dropped my mouth before laughing. “Ma! I am not discussing that with you.”

“Chile, you came out of my pussy, and I wiped yours for quite some time. I think it’s safe for us to have this conversation.”

“On that note, thanks, Ma. I gotta go.”

She laughed as she said, “See you tomorrow, Taj. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The remnants of my laughter faded away as I ended the call.

She’d given me a different perspective.

For the last year, I could admit I’d closed myself off to love and friendships.

I stopped being open and vulnerable because I didn’t want to trust the wrong person.

I wanted to care and connect and have genuine relationships, but the potential pain didn’t seem worth the risk.

Until Tristan, I didn’t believe I had the capacity to open my heart again. With him, I wanted to try.

I cut my car on and shot Tristan a text before driving away.

Me: Actually, I do want to go out. Just give me the details, and I’ll be there.