Page 47 of Illusory (The Marked Saga #8)

Tessa and Gabriel were already seated at the kitchen table when the three of us strolled in for breakfast later that morning. I wasn’t sure if it was my own guilt over what had happened with Dominic and Trace in my bedroom less than an hour earlier, but I was sure that everyone in the room could see the sordid details written all over my face.

My attention immediately went to Tessa, who was sitting at the head of the table in front of a full plate of food and not touching a single piece of it. Her head was buried in the crook of her arm, her hair spilling half across the table and half hanging off the edge, as though she were still drunk from last night.

Then again, it was a very real possibility considering how much she’d had to drink.

“Morning,” I greeted, eyeing her and then Gabriel, who was sitting across the table from me. As soon as I sat down, Dominic and Trace quickly took the chairs on either side of me and settled in.

Gabriel’s gaze narrowed as he glanced from me to the guys and then back again. “Morning.”

Oh, God. He knew .

“You alright, Tess?” asked Trace, lowering his head as he tried to catch her gaze.

“No,” she grumbled into her arm without looking up. “I think I might be dead.”

Gabriel made a noise at the back of his throat. “Yes, well, hopefully we’ve all learned our lesson.”

My eyes dove to my empty plate, certain that Gabriel’s biting words were meant for the both of us.

Grabbing my fork, I picked up two pancakes from the stack that Isa had prepared for us and then dropped them onto my plate. Trace picked up the maple syrup and passed it to me with a dimpled smile, while Dominic stretched his arm behind me, casually resting it on the back of my chair.

I could only imagine what we looked like just then—what Gabriel was thinking! God, if he didn’t already know, he was no doubt putting the pieces together in his mind right that second. Mortification instantly set in, making my cheeks burn with embarrassment.

Unable to stop myself, I chanced a peek at him and confirmed my worst fear—his gaze was locked on mine and his eyebrows were raised in silent question.

Fuck. He definitely knew .

An overwhelming urge to push away from the table and run like the wind surged through me, but I fought it, knowing it would only make me look even more guilty than I felt. Instead, I cut a small piece of pancake and slowly brought it to my mouth.

“So, what do you have planned for the day?” he asked, his eyes still fixed on me.

I blinked, momentarily thrown off by his question. “You mean you’re not going to force me to train all day?”

“It’s your Ascension today,” he replied, his tone matter-of-fact.

I swallowed thickly, a pang of fear twisting my guts around and cutting off my appetite. “I know.”

Trace put his hand on my thigh and gave it a reassuring squeeze. I wasn’t sure if he had felt my anxiety or if it was simply written all over my face.

“Fucking hell,” hissed Tessa as she lifted her head up to squint at me, like she’d just caught up with our conversation. “Happy birthday, little sis.”

I flashed her a grin. “Thanks, Tess.”

She tried to return my smile and then dropped her head back onto her arm, having used up the entirety of her energy stores for the day.

“We should take it easy today and hold off on any training or activities until after your Ascension,” Gabriel suggested, without acknowledging my birthday.

“Oh.” My hands twisted in my lap. After a few moments, I met his eyes again. “Are you worried that…something might happen? That it might go badly?”

He faltered for a beat and then shook his head. “No. I don’t expect it to be all that different from Invocation, but of course, we won’t know for sure until the time comes.”

“Right.” I picked up my glass of water and gulped down half of it, my throat suddenly as dry as a desert. Setting it back down, I pushed away from the table and stood. “I’m going to continue working on Elspeth’s grimoire and see if I can find any spoilers,” I decided, having lost all semblance of my appetite.

“We’ll join you then,” said Dominic as he rose from his chair with Trace right behind him.

“You guys don’t have to follow me around all day,” I said, meeting each of their gazes. “I won’t go up in flames if you take your eyes off me, you know.”

“Well, that remains to be seen,” said Gabriel as he stood up from his chair and nodded his head at Trace and Dominic, a silent order for them not to let me out of their sights. “Until your Ascension is over, it’s best that we play it safe and stay close.”

“I think I’m going to throw up,” announced Tessa, drawing everyone’s attention back down to her.

She’d taken the words right out of my mouth .

* * *

After taking Tessa to the bathroom to puke her guts out, Gabriel escorted her back to her room to sleep off her hangover while the rest of us convened in the living room and waited for him to return. Even though there hadn’t been too much awkwardness at breakfast (between Trace, Dominic and myself, anyway), I still had a hard time meeting either of their gazes after what had gone down in my bed this morning.

I couldn’t stop feeling like I’d done something very, very wrong, despite how good it had felt.

With the grimoire in hand, I flopped onto the sofa and cracked it open. I didn’t bother picking up where I had left off yesterday. Instead, I flipped ahead, hoping to find something about the Ascension or its aftermath. Honestly, anything that might ease my mind even a little would be a win.

“We have a surprise for you later,” informed Dominic as he settled into the chair by the fireplace with a book in hand and a playful smirk curling at his lips.

“A surprise?” My gaze flickered between the two of them.

“For your birthday,” said Trace as he tossed his pencil down onto the open science textbook and straightened.

I chewed the inside of my cheek. “What kind of a surprise?”

“Well now, angel, it wouldn’t be much of a surprise if we went ahead and told you, would it?”

My heart rate sped up erratically, making my stomach feel woozy. “I don’t think I’m a fan of surprises,” I informed, having just realized it then. Too many unknown variables. Too much anticipation.

It was giving me anxiety.

“Can I at least get a hint?” I asked.

“We each have something planned for you tonight,” offered Trace, his eyes studying me as if he could sense my apprehension and wanted to ease it without giving too much away. “Separately.”

“Separately,” I repeated, not entirely sure if that made my anxiety better, or worse.

“Well, she’ll probably live to see another day,” announced Gabriel as he trudged into the living room and dropped into the empty chair beside Dominic. “I don’t know if this is some kind of phase she’s going through, but I’ve just about had it with her antics.”

As much as I wanted to laugh at his comment, I held back.

“It’s not her fault,” I said instead, defending my sister since she wasn’t here to do it herself. “She’s not used to being cooped up like this. This is probably her literal definition of hell.”

Honestly, I probably wouldn’t be far from the edge either, if not for Trace and Dominic being stuck in here with me. That line between heaven and hell felt like one big blur, and I had only the two of them to blame. Or thank?

“Yes, well, it isn’t exactly paradise for the rest of us either. That still doesn’t excuse her behavior. Or yours,” he added pointedly, reminding me that I wasn’t off the hook just yet.

“I guess not,” I conceded with a shrug and then met his eyes, sifting through the disappointment he was shooting back at me. “You know, I never claimed to be perfect, Gabriel. We’re all entitled to make a mistake once in a while. Life is too fleeting to chase perfection.”

“I don’t expect perfection, Jemma, but I do expect commitment and sacrifice—especially when it’s your life that is most on the line here.”

“Are you implying that I haven’t given either of those things?” I questioned, my eyes blurring with hurt. “Because I’ve made sacrifices , Gabriel. I make them every day of my goddamned life. I’ve given up more things than anyone should ever have to give up in one lifetime, and I’ve mostly done it without resentment,” I said, wishing he could see that. Wishing he could see just how hard I’ve tried.

I wasn’t perfect—not even close to it—but I was still here. Still fighting. Still trying my best to do the right thing, even when I had no idea what that was.

A muscle twitched in his jaw, but his silence—heavy and unyielding—spoke volumes.

“What more do you want me to give up, Gabriel? There’s already no marriage or kids in my future, no going off to college to follow my dreams, no one to walk me down the aisle for the wedding I’m never going to have,” I rasped, my throat thickening as all the things I tried not to think about trickled to the surface. “I’m never going to have a normal life. It doesn’t matter how many vampires I kill or apocalypses I thwart today. There will always be more tomorrow. Some other Engle or Horseman or Devil to vanquish. Because this is my life, and it’s all I’m ever going to get. So, forgive me if I thought I’d earned the right to have one stupid night of drinking with my sister.”

“Jemma, that wasn’t my—” His expression sank as he ran a hand over his face. “I apologize for making you feel like your sacrifices went unnoticed. I never meant to imply that—”

“I know you didn’t, Gabriel,” I cut in, because despite my hurt feelings, I knew that deep down, he was only trying to keep me safe—to make me stronger. “You don’t need to apologize to me. Not ever. I just…maybe just cut me a little slack every now and then, okay? I’m trying my best here.”

“I know that you are,” he said, his eyes turning somber then. “If my words seem harsh, it’s only because I care for you deeply, Jemma. I want you to be prepared for what’s out there, especially when I’m gone.”

His words struck a sour chord with me and my chest instantly tightened. “Come on, Gabriel. We both know you’re not going anywhere. You’re my best friend and best friends are supposed to stick together, no matter what.”

He smiled back at me, a real one that reached all the way up to his moss green eyes. “There’s nothing that would make me happier, Jemma. Truly,” he said, and my eyes clouded over with tears again, but for a completely different reason this time.

“How touching of you, brother,” said Dominic with an amused grin on his face as he all but ruined the moment.

“Touch this,” I mumbled as I picked up a pillow and threw it across the living room at him.

He caught it easily and chuckled, holding it against his chest as I rolled my eyes at him and then went back to combing through the grimoire.

The four of us settled into a peaceful calm as the morning gradually turned into late afternoon, with no sign of my Ascension on the horizon. By the time lunch finally came, I had started to doubt whether it was even going to happen at all. Somehow, when it came to me and my life, nothing ever went according to plan.

Maybe we’d gotten our wires crossed this whole time and had spent the last few weeks being worried for nothing. I mean, we did get most of our information about the Ascension from Jaqueline, and well, she had proven to be unreliable in every sense of the word. The thought of her leading us on a wild goose chase made my stomach twist with discomfort.

What if she’d done it on purpose to distract us? What if she wanted to keep us trapped in this house, waiting for something that was never going to come? What if that had been her intention all along and the reason why she suddenly up and disappeared?

The longer I thought about it, the more upset my stomach became until it felt like there were thorns twisting in my gut. If she had lied to me—if she was playing me all this time—not even death was going to save her from what I would do. As if I hadn’t suffered enough at the hands of supposed family members, I had to wonder whether my own mother was complicit in it, too?

Fire roiled up from my stomach and into my chest, the thorn of betrayal twisting deeper in my gut before slithering outward, pricking through my veins and clawing under my skin.

I should have tracked her down when she first disappeared. I shouldn’t have given her the benefit of the doubt. I always paid dearly when I gave people the benefit of the doubt. If she crossed me—

“Angel?”

The anxious tenor of Dominic’s voice broke me out of my thoughts. I glanced up and met his eyes just as Trace sucked in a breath and recoiled. My gaze flicked to him, noting how the air around him seemed to shimmer.

“Are you feeling okay, love?”

My brows snapped together as I turned back to Dominic and cocked my head. The air dipped and swerved around him too, just like it had done with Trace.

How bizarre.

“You… you’re glowing again,” rasped Trace, his voice carrying the same weary note that Dominic’s had.

But why would that concern them? They had already seen my glowing eyes before; it wasn’t anything new. I narrowed my gaze, focusing harder on them. On their shimmering auras. Frankly, they should be far more concerned with that than whatever was happening with me.

“Jemma?” called Gabriel, causing my head to jerk to him. “Can you understand us?”

Can I understand them? What a stupid question. Of course I understood them. I understood them perfectly.

“Look at me, Jemma. Try to blink twice if you can hear us,” he said nodding into it and making his dark hair dip down over his eyebrows like a curtain.

Blink twice? Why would I need to blink twice? What in the world was he going on about?

The corners of his eyes crinkled as he glanced back at Dominic and whispered, “Something’s not right. Look at her runes.”

My runes? My gaze dropped to my hands still holding the grimoire as I took in the silver marks that ran from the palm of my hands to halfway up my forearms. They were lit up and blazing as though someone was shining a light behind them under my skin, glowing almost as brightly as my eyes had that first time I’d seen them in the bathroom mirror with Gabriel. They looked beautiful…and kind of terrifying.

My breath caught in my throat as the runes continued to brighten, the light spreading under my skin, filling me up and making my body feel as though it was coming apart at the seams. As though a solar eclipse was getting ready to burst out of my chest and blind any one of us who dared look directly into it.

The grimoire dropped from my hands as I pushed off the couch, the light flooding the room with a blinding white glow that forced my eyes shut. A familiar burn flared at my back, but only for a split second before my wings burst free, unfurling on either side of me with the sharp crack of a whip.

Only this time, they hadn’t freed themselves. I had freed them.

The light continued to blaze like the sun, overwhelming everything around me. I could no longer tell if it was emanating from me or through me as it seemingly swallowed the room whole. All I could feel was the warmth against my skin, and the blinding white light pulsing behind my lids. Then, as suddenly as it had appeared, the light snapped back, retreating into my body like a switch flicking off.

I gasped, watching in awe as the light burrowed under my skin, winding and coiling through my veins until it settled— inside of me . My ears rang like a siren wailing in my head as I blinked at the strange glow shimmering under my skin and through my veins.

“What the fuck was that?” demanded Trace as Gabriel and Dominic stood frozen, gaping at me.

I had no clue what the hell had just happened, or what that blinding light was, but I was pretty damn sure I’d just Ascended.