Page 27 of Illusory (The Marked Saga #8)

I startled awake the next morning to the smell of bacon and eggs wafting through my room and my psycho sister standing over my bed, leering down at me at like I had committed some unspeakable act while I’d been sleeping.

“What the hell are you doing?!” I half-shrieked, half-croaked as I scrambled up into a seated position, clutching the blanket to my chest like it was some scandal to be caught in my ‘ When it rains, it Poes’ t-shirt. “I think my fucking soul just left my body,” I mused to myself as I tried to will my racing heart back to a normal pace.

“Mom didn’t come home last night.”

I blinked up at her, literally still half asleep.

“Did you hear what I just said?”

“I heard you.” I blinked a few more times and then scrubbed the sleep from my eyes. “Did you try calling her?” I suggested dimly, on account of, you know, still not being fully awake or functional.

“Seven times,” she said and crossed her arms. “It just keeps going to voicemail.”

I couldn’t help but notice the nervous edge to her voice. She was worried, and that really wasn’t like Tessa. “I’m sure she’s fine. She probably just…” I trailed off not really knowing how to finish that sentence seeing as I had no actual clue what Jaqueline did on her own time when she wasn’t with us. “Lost track of time?”

“That doesn’t explain why she’s not answering now .”

“Right. Good point.” I definitely needed to get myself caffeinated.

“Did she say anything to you yesterday before she left?” she asked, her gray eyes homing in on me as if she were trying to lift the intel right out of my forehead.

“I mean, not really,” I said, trying to recall my last conversation with her as I tossed the blankets off myself and climbed out of bed. “She basically said she was going out for a while.” I yawned and then stretched my arms, trying to snap myself out of my sleep haze before dragging my feet over to my dresser.

“Going out where?” she asked, following me. “To do what?”

“How should I know, Tessa? She’s not exactly a well of information.” Frankly, I’d been too busy trying to wrap up the conversation and erase any chance there was of being forced to train with her.

In short, I took the win and ran like hell with it.

“Should we try calling her on your phone?” she suggested, standing beside me with both hands on her hips.

I wasn’t sure what difference that would make, unless she (for some odd reason) thought our mother had blocked her number, which would be really weird and inappropriate…but somehow not that surprising either.

“It’s on the nightstand. Knock yourself out,” I answered her as I rifled through my drawers, looking for something clean and semi-decent looking to wear.

She blew out an annoyed breath and then trudged back over to my nightstand. “Aren’t you worried?” she asked as she tapped Jackie’s phone number and then put the phone up to her ear. “This isn’t like her.”

“I mean, it’s a little like her,” I said, not even meaning for it to come out as snarky as it had. Not even happy-go-lucky-eating-in-bed-Tessa could deny the facts. M-I-A was basically Jaqueline’s default setting.

“That’s not the same and you know it.”

But it kind of was, though.

“Whatever,” I said instead as I grabbed my clothes for the day and headed to the bathroom to shower. I wasn’t about to start my day in an argument with Tessa over our absentee mother.

And especially not before I’ve had my morning coffee.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, I was showered, dressed, and downstairs, ready to start the day if for no other reason than to get it the hell over with. After my soul-crushing conversation with Dominic ended last night, I’d found myself back in my bed alone, feeling conflicted and guilty and sad and ashamed, and nowhere closer to a resolution.

As far as Dominic was concerned, there was no hope left for us. No chance at a future together. Because in his mind, he was already convinced that I would never choose him over Trace. And he was right about that.

But what he didn’t realize was that I could never choose Trace over him, either. The more I tried to picture the future, the more I realized how dire and hopeless it really was. I was damned if I did, and damned if I didn’t and screwed six ways from Sunday. The three of us were speeding down a highway to nowhere with absolutely no hope of making it out unscathed.

Not unless something changed.

Not unless I took the wheel and did something about it.

A part of me already knew what that something needed to be, knew intrinsically how this was going to play out, but the other part of me—the part of me that was too weak and selfish to cut out my own heart and burn it to the ground—refused to even look at it. Even as it stared down the barrel of a gun at me.

Because knowing something and owning it were two completely different beasts.

As per usual, our one big happy family was already in the kitchen, seated around the table by the time I finally wandered in, hot on the heel of the alluring smell of bacon and eggs and freshly brewed coffee.

I froze at the doorway, my eyes landing heavily on the newest raven-haired addition at the table.

“Morning,” greeted Trace, his baritone voice sweeping in across the kitchen floor and then up my legs and into the hollow of my chest.

He was sitting closest to the window, sandwiched between Dominic and Gabriel while Tessa sat across from him doing what she did best lately. Eating . Somehow the seating arrangement didn’t seem like a coincidence, especially after how the three of us had left things off last night.

Despite all that, I smiled back at him, relieved to finally see him out of the basement and back in the land of the living. For a while there, I wasn’t so sure that day was ever going to come. “How are you feeling? You look a lot better today,” I noted but remained firmly rooted by the entranceway of the kitchen, too afraid that I might set him off and ruin all the progress he’d made if I got too close before he was ready.

“I feel a lot better actually,” he said, his dimples pressing in as he stared back at me through vibrant, impossibly blue eyes. The kind of deep mosaic blue that I wasn’t even sure came from this world.

“We’re still going to be taking it one step at a time, though,” added Gabriel, looking at Trace meaningfully as if to remind him of an earlier conversation they’d had.

“Right,” agreed Trace with a tepid nod. “One step at a time.”

“Still, this is seriously amazing,” I beamed, smiling back at him. “You should be really proud of yourself.”

The stark contrast from last week was enough to steal my breath. It was something I hadn’t even allowed myself to dream about because it felt so far out of the realm of possibilities, and now here he was, sitting and conversing like it was nothing, and I knew we only had one person to thank for that.

My gaze shifted to Dominic and my heart promptly slipped out from my chest and sank to the ground in a puddle.

He was staring down at the glass he had cradled in his hands, his elbows resting on the table and his somber eyes downcast. Despite what he was doing for Trace and all the progress he was making, I knew there was sorrow in his heart because every forward step for Trace was a backward step for him. One that would inevitably lead me out of his reach completely.

“In case you were wondering, she didn’t answer any of my calls from your number either,” informed Tessa, momentarily capturing my attention. Her voice seemed a lot less stressed than it was earlier, now that she was sitting in front of a mountainous plate of food.

I honestly wasn’t sure where she was planning on putting it all seeing as her waist was basically the circumference of a grapefruit.

“It’s going straight to voicemail now,” she went on.

Hmm. Like mother like daughter , I thought tartly, but kept the dig to myself.

“Her phone’s probably just dead,” I offered instead, going with the most probable scenario. “She probably just lost track of time last night doing…you know, whatever it is she does, and had to find someplace to crash for the day. I’m sure she’ll call us back just as soon as she charges her phone.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re so lax about the whole thing,” she said, apparently not appreciating my take on it.

“I’m not lax about it. I’m just not assuming the worst and having a mental breakdown about it like you.”

She whipped around to glare at me. “Do I need to remind you what happened the last time she went missing while the Roderick sisters were in town?”

The Roderick sisters?

Fuck .

All the blood rushed from my head and suddenly the room felt as though it had become animated under my feet. I hadn’t even put the two things together until Tessa mentioned it. Because, you know, NO COFFEE .

I shuffled forward. “You don’t think…” I couldn’t even finish the sentence.

“I don’t know what I think, but I don’t like it. She’s never gone somewhere and not come back and now suddenly she’s out all night and not answering her phone. You have to admit it’s weird timing,” she said, her last statement directed at Gabriel, who responded by running his hand along his jaw in quiet contemplation.

“What the hell would the sisters want with her anyway?” I asked, my voice slightly elevated as I glanced around the table at everyone, trying to find an unworried face to settle on. “The only reason they even came back here in the first place is for the baby, and they already have Nikki. It has to be a coincidence,” I decided because the alternative was just too goddamn much to deal with first thing in the morning.

“And if it’s not?” she tested, glancing at me from over her shoulder again.

“If it’s not then…then the fuck if I know. I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get there,” I said, irritated that we had yet another thing to contend with. I mean, we were already going after the Roderick sisters as it stood. What was I supposed to say? That we would go after them harder ?

“Jemma’s right,” said Gabriel, trying to calm Tessa and be the voice of reason. “She hasn’t even been missing 24 hours yet. Let’s not assume the worst until we’re sure there’s even a problem.”

“Exactly.” I nodded, much preferring his summary over mine.

“I guess so,” said Tessa, still sounding unconvinced as she finished off the last bite on her plate and then set her fork down, already eying the one next to hers. “I’m telling you, though, something doesn’t feel right.”

“It’s probably just indigestion,” I mumbled under my breath.

“Funny. Are you going to be eating any of this?” she asked, glancing over her shoulder at me as she pointed to the plate that I assumed Isa had prepared for me.

“Seriously, Tess? Where are you putting it?”

She stared back at me blank-faced. “What do you mean?”

Had she really not noticed that she hasn’t stopped eating since the second Isa got here? I mean, sure, Isa’s cooking was pretty amazing, but still. Tessa was taking it to a whole new level. Not that it was any of my business.

“Nothing. Never mind,” I said, deciding to just drop it. I wasn’t about to shame her for having a big appetite…even though it was completely unlike her.

“So, is that a yes…or?” she verified, still eying my plate.

“Sure. Have at it.”

It wasn’t a big deal since I knew Isa would happily make me another plate if I asked her to, which I wouldn’t because I wasn’t a spoiled brat, but also because I’d already lost my appetite at the mention of The Roderick sisters and my missing mother anyway.

I gave the room a quick scan, having just noticed that Isa wasn’t at her usual magic-making spot by the stove. “Where’s Isa anyway?”

“Grocery run,” said Tessa as she spooned the scrambled eggs off my plate and packed them into the bottomless pit formerly known as her mouth. “We were basically out of everything.”

Everything? I made a confused face as I took in the gargantuan spread on the table. Last I checked, even the pantry was stacked to the rafters. I hadn’t seen that much food in this house since my uncle was still alive and running things. “Oh, yeah. We’re practically starving to death here.”

“Right?” she agreed, completely missing the part where I wasn’t serious.

I blinked at the back of her head a few times, wondering who this alien implant was and where the heck my sister had gone and then shook away the thought. “Well, it’s been real. I’ll be in the dining room if anyone needs me,” I said and then started to leave before pausing to look at my sister again. “I’m assuming you’re training with me until mom shows up, right?”

“Actually, I vote we take the day off.”

I gaped at Tessa as Gabriel did his own slow double take. Thank you . Finally, someone else was seeing her for the obvious impostor she was.

“What? Don’t look at me like that,” she snapped at Gabriel. “It’s not like we’re going to be able to concentrate on anything with Jackie missing,” she added, as though that might convince the rest of us.

“We really don’t have the luxury of taking the day off,” advised Gabriel, looking at me as though I were the lunatic that had suggested it.

“You’re speaking to the choir here,” I said with my hands up, letting it be known that Tessa and I were most definitely not on the same page with that vote. “I have no problem training today.”

“Whatever. Suit yourselves,” said Tessa as she grabbed a last piece of bacon from the plate and then shoved her chair back to stand. “I’m calling in sick today. If anyone needs me…call someone else,” she said and then nonchalantly walked out of the kitchen, apparently having a grand total of zero fucks to give on all fronts.

“She didn’t just do that,” I said incredulously as Gabriel scrubbed a hand down his face. “Please tell me I’m not the only one that thinks there’s something seriously wrong with her lately?” I asked.

“Define lately,” answered Dominic as he sank back in his chair.

I tried and failed not to roll my eyes at him.

“She definitely seemed a little off today,” agreed Trace.

“Exactly. Thank you!” I turned to Gabriel and searched his face for confirmation. He probably knew Tessa better than all of us combined. “Did she say anything to you?”

“No.” He shook his head. “Nothing at all.”

“But you noticed it too, right?”

He didn’t confirm or deny it, but I could see the answer in his eyes. He’d seen it too. Something was definitely up with her. “I’ll talk to her and see what I can find out,” he offered.

I nodded, confident that if anyone could get to the bottom of Tessa’s sudden bizzarro behavior, it was Gabriel.

Distracted with thoughts of my sister, I shifted my weight onto my other foot and then noticed how awkwardly quiet the room had become. My gaze lifted to Trace and Dominic who were both staring at me with undiscernible expressions on their faces. I could only imagine what was going through their minds then, though nothing that I came up with was positive or good.

Must. Escape. Now.

“So, um, did you want to run some combat drills with me?” I asked Gabriel, trying to keep the desperation out of my voice so as to not appear too needy or give the impression that I was panic-running from Trace and Dominic.

Which I was.

Of course, it wasn’t all ulterior motives and grand schemes either. It had been a really long time since Gabriel and I trained together the way we used to at Temple, and suddenly, it felt like something I really needed. Besides, between the three of them, Gabriel was definitely the safer bet right now.

“Actually, I was thinking now might be a good time to start working on a way to retrieve the Sang Noir from Temple since we’re all…well, since we’re all here together,” suggested Gabriel as he effectively squashed my great escape plan. “As much as I hate to be the bearer of bad news, the Council is breathing down my neck to set up a meeting with you regarding the Horsemen,” he went on, his eyes already looking bogged down with the weight of the world. “It’s only a matter of time before they do something brash, and I’d rather not wait for it to come to that.”

And by brash, he meant the Council’s plan to coerce me into some anointing ritual that would essentially strip me of my identity and turn me into the Fourth Horseman, thus activating their Power of Four.

If we had any hope of stopping that whole-ass mess, and sending the Horsemen packing altogether, we needed to get our hands on Angel magic, and as it stood, the Sang Noir was the only book on Earth that came close to it.

“So, we get the book then.”

“We get the book,” he agreed, leaving out one tiny detail.

The tiny detail being the matter of whether he had discussed any of that with Trace since he was the one that was going to have to teach me how to port into Temple in the first place.

“Great…so…” My gaze slid to Trace then who was still watching me with a strange look in his eye. I averted my gaze as a nervous flutter unsettled my stomach. “Have you…discussed the plan with, you know, everyone that needs to know about the plan?” My gaze boomeranged between Dominic and Gabriel, hoping one of them would understand what the hell I was talking about.

“Everyone being me?” asked Trace, a small frown playing around his lips.

“No. I mean, well, yeah. Like all of us.” I shook my head, swallowing against the tiny lump that had lodged itself just below my tonsils. “It’s just…we have to get the book, and I know it’s a big ask right now and that things are still…you know, new for you, and I really didn’t want to have to—”

“Ask me yourself?” he guessed.

“No.” I shifted my weight again. “Make things harder on you.”

“Right.”

I chewed on my lip as I met Dominic’s eyes then, looking for some kind of lifeline, and faltered at the way they gazed back at me with such visceral broken sadness. More pieces of my heart whittled away.

“So, are you going to?” asked Trace, drawing my attention back to himself.

“Am I going to what?” I responded, momentarily confused and then gasped as he vanished into thin air from his chair before reappearing directly in front of me, his body towering over mine by at least a full foot.

Our soulmate bond buzzed under my skin at his sudden proximity.

“Ask me yourself,” he finished and then wrapped his arms around me and smiled, his dimples blinking at me like a beacon of light as the cold biting air swept in and took us away.