Page 151 of I Dream of Dragons

“I don’t know, Jai.” He sighs. “It’s been a mess of a week.”

I nod. “We haven’t sat together to strategize in forever. A new plan is needed. Calling the rebel troops to the shore was probably a mistake. I thought I was becoming stronger, controlling Phaethon and be free to kill the king, but it didn’t work out that way.”

Phaethon lets out a low laugh inside my mind.

“Maybe it’s time to attack the sacred palace in force,” Arkin says. “I know our magic isn’t strong enough against his, especially since he’s now borrowed your powers, too, but?—”

“We aren’t going to kill him,” I say.

“What? But that’s the plan, that’s why?—”

“He has bound himself to her. Killing him will kill her and I won’t allow that.”

“You won’t allow it? I am sorry, Jai, I understand she’s your mate, and she’s a great girl, but we have been planning this for years. This is our chance, here, where he has fewer guards and thinks he’s untouchable. We end it, here, now.”

“I said no.”

“This is bigger than you! Bigger than your bond.”

“Nothing,” I say quietly, “is bigger than our fucking bond.”

“But—”

“This discussion is over, Ark. We aren’t killing the king.”

“The hell it is. Tru was right.”

“About what?”

“You’ve lost your head with her. This has been our war since we met you. Trying to find a way to get to the king, take him down. Even when you went crazy and then got so addicted to his bite, we still stood by you, still tried to find a way. We planned this, Jai. Planned to distract him so you could get to him during the trials, but you went and volunteered! Everything was set for success, you dived into the trials, dived after her, and to the hells with everyone else.”

I drag my fingers through my hair. Pull at it. “I just… can’t fucking lose her again.”

“You’d condemn this world for her?”

“It’s not that simple, Ark,” I breathe. He doesn’t know what losing her had felt like.

“Yes, it is. Would you, Jai?”

“Fuck. I would.”

“You are a fucking asshole.” His hands have curled into fists, and the fury in his eyes burns deep. “Why would you think your love counts more than anybody else’s? Who do you think you are?”

“Nobody important,” I whisper. “But I won’t risk her.”

“Why, who is she? A lost queen? A goddess?”

“She is my woman, and that makes her a queen and a goddess to me.”

Face white, cheekbones flushed, Arkin looks about to murder me. Instead, with another muttered curse, he spins on his heel and heads out.

Finally alone, I close my eyes. What am I doing? I don’t even know. I only know what I told him. She is my world. If I risk her, then what the fuck do I care about anything else?

I never said I was a good man.

A servant whose face I don’t recall comes later to my room to bring me fresh clothes and to inform me that I’m to attend dinner with the king and Rae.

“Attend?” I mutter, staring at her. “Tonight… isn’t the formal dinner. Are you saying they are having dinner alone?”