Page 25

It's been a few days since my birthday. I spent the first day after recovering. My head was pounding and it didn't help that my blanket that I used as a curtain fell so I woke up to the sun beaming in my eyes. The next few days I just did school or workouts. I had to focus more on my arms since my injury so my muscles were looking too fine.

"Paige let's go." Azzi screamed at me. I had begged her to come to the gym with me so I wouldn't have to workout alone, even though she got annoyed that I lifted more than her really fast.

"I'm coming, calm down." I laughed, pulling on my new Kobe's that Jules got me. I don't remember much from the party. I remember opening presents, sitting at the table with Jules and that's it. I didn't even know how I got home but whoever drove me definitely had to listen to me talk about missing Jules.

We walked to the center which was completely empty this early in the morning on a Monday. It was before any of our classes because I just couldn't stand being around my trainers anymore. They treated me like a little kid, at least Azzi knew how to push me, and get under my nerves.

I was sitting on a bench, dribbling the ball between my legs. Azzi's shoes coming into view broke my focus and I grabbed the ball, looking at her confused. She never came to talk to me during my workouts.

"So what happened after Jules drove you home?" She sat down next to me. Jules didn't drive me home. All I remember was talking about making a mistake with Kate and missing Jules, I wouldn't have said that to her face.

"What are you talking about?" I laughed, Azzi was trying to get me nervous. She knew Jules was the one way to do that. Az just never stopped chirping since that's all she did better than me.

"Jules drove you home after the party. I asked her, she said something about you guys talking when you're sober but she didn't say anything after that." She shrugged and I dropped the ball I was holding.

Jules drove me home. That meant Jules heard everything I said about Kate, and about how much I missed her. I tried to go over the night in my head, trying to remember every detail.

"I need to go." I started grabbing my stuff, desperately throwing things around.

"Paige it's six in the morning, she's not gonna be up." Azzi tried to reason with me but I didn't listen. I ran out of the gym, deciding to walk to her apartment. It was a longer walk but I could probably use the time to think of my apology.

I can't believe I finally got my chance to talk to Jules and I blew it. I'm never drinking again. I spilled everything to her without remembering half of it. Imagine how she feels. I closed my eyes tightly, trying to piece together parts of that night.

She did mention Jay, I remember the driver saying Jay something. Jay did something. Jay said something. Jay loves someone. Jay loves Jules. Jay loves my Jules, that's gross.

I sped up, walking 30 minutes with an ACL injury wasn't my brightest idea but my thoughts were only on one person. I needed to fix things with Jules. Even if she never forgave me, or never takes me back, I need her to know that I love her and that I could never love someone the way I love her. I needed her to know I made a mistake and that I would give up every basketball game to fix it. I never thought I would say someone was more important than basketball but Jules was by far more important.

I stopped in front of the building, not even taking a minute to rest before rushing upstairs. I knew Jules wouldn't be awake but I would sit and wait as long as it took just so I could see her. When I got infront of her door I took a seat, stretching my leg out. Hopefully no one else came out of their rooms to find me sitting here like I got locked out.

I sat there for a while, on my phone, picking at my nails, rehearsing what I was going to say and even redoing my hair a few times so I could look nice. The door in front of me opened and I looked up hopefully. Rose walked out, jumping when she saw me sitting there.

"Holy shit Paige, what are you doing here?" She asked, putting her hand on her heart and trying to calm down.

"I need to talk to Jules." I said, I knew Jules told Rose everything so if I did make a promise and broke it Rose already knew about it.

"You're a few days late." She laughed, sitting next to me on the floor. Just by her laugh I could tell I messed up, this was going to need more rehearsing.

"I didn't even know." I looked at her, hoping she could tell I was being honest.

"I like you Paige. And I like you for Jules but it's going to take some work. You just dumped her like that. I know she cares about you, a lot still so I hope you guys figure it out." She stood up, walking towards the elevator and leaving me in the empty hallway. With Rose's words I felt less stupid sitting out here until Jules woke up, but even more nervous.

It was eight now, an hour and a half of sitting and waiting until the door finally opened. Jules looked down at me, rubbing her eyes. She definitely just woke up but when she noticed it was me sitting there her eyes shot open.

"Paige, what the fuck." She looked at me completely in shock. "Come in." She motioned me instead, obviously concerned about me sitting in that confined space with my injury.

I took a seat on her bar stools looking over the apartment. It was much different since the last time I was here. It was more decorated. It seemed so her. There were pictures of her and Rose all over the fridge. Plants in every corner and books stacked on the table.

"How long were you out there?" She placed a glass of water in front of me, leaning on the counter so she was looking right at me.

"Like an hour." I shrugged. If I made it seem like it wasn't a big deal she wouldn't freak out and start feeling bad.

"An hour? Why didn't you knock?" Her eyes almost popped out of her head. To be honest I had to hold back a laugh from how scared she looked.

"It's not a big deal Jules, I didn't wanna wake you up." She rolled her eyes, not understanding the logic behind my actions.

"So what are you doing here?" She asked, sipping on her mug of coffee.

"Well Azzi told me about a promise that I don't even remember making but I do wanna talk." I looked down. I hated being vulnerable, especially in front of her. It was something I was trying to get past but it never got easier.

"It's ok, I wasn't expecting you to remember." I looked up at her, noticing the disappointed expression hidden behind the smile she tried to plaster on. She looked into her mug, not wanting to look at me.

I stood up, walking towards her and leaning on the counter in front of her. "Can we please talk this out?" I begged. It seemed like I was always begging for another chance I didn't deserve. She looked up, nodding, giving me the chance to speak.

"Look I don't remember much of what I said that night but I know I said Kate was nothing which was completely true. I thought you were moving on and I wanted to be able to do that with a girl I knew liked me but I couldn't, I wanted her gone right away. I've been wanting to talk since your birthday because I messed up Jules, I know I did but I miss us." I grabbed her hands, just hoping she would look at me. She took a deep breath before she did, my heart dropped seeing the tears gather in her eyes.

"I miss you Paige. I've missed you everyday since you broke up with me but you left me. You made me think it was my fault, that I wasn't good enough for you." She looked away again, probably to hide her tears and I pulled her into me, rubbing her hair as I felt her tears wet my shirt. I didn't care, if this is what she needed to do than I would let her.

"No baby, not at all. You were too good. You believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. I got basketball ripped away from me and I was mad. I should've listened to you but I pushed you away. I'm sorry Julie." I continued rubbing her hair, letting her cry. After everything I did to her she deserved the apology, she deserved to cry as much as she needed to.

Her breathing calmed down and she pulled away from my chest. Her eyes were red and dried tears smeared across her face. I brought my hand up, wiping her tears away. I never wanted to see her cry because of me, especially to that extent but I did it and now I need to fix it.

"Do you think there's any hope for us?" I knew the answer could break my heart but I had to ask it. If she felt like there was nothing left I couldn't force it. I had to live with the consequences. She nodded and I cupped my hands around her face. Kissing her forehead.

"Then I promise you I'm gonna fix this baby, ok. I promise you." I looked at her, knowing she understood how serious I was being. She brought her arms up, wrapping them around my neck and pulling me closer. I hugged her back, dying to feel her embrace and when I did the tears started flowing from me too. This was the first step to getting my girl back.

When she heard me sniffling she pulled away quickly, looking at my tear stained face now too. I laughed. Even if we had tears running down our faces I couldn't be happier in that moment. She wiped away the tear that fell from my eye and kissed my cheek. I wanted to kiss her but we weren't there yet. I finally got her to listen to me, I wasn't going to mess this up again.

Even with her messy bed head, red puffy eyes and a stuffy nose she was still the most beautiful person in the world. I grabbed her face, staring at her in awe. It felt like I was making up for all the time I lost with her. I could stare at her perfect face without having to worry about scaring her off or that stupid piece of meat, Jay, glaring at me.

"I have class." She pulled away, a smile still resting on her face.

"Go get ready, I'll be here." I motioned her away, taking a seat on the couch and looking over her books. She annotated them. I never understood it but I could listen to her talk about why she annotated them that way for hours. Watching how excited she got putting a tab on a special part.

"You're not going anywhere?" She asked, looking at me.

"Never again."