Page 15

One thing I never got used to when I was home was how my mom chose to wake me up. Bright and early bursting into my room, opening the curtains to let the sun blind me. She had done it my whole childhood and even now as an adult I couldn't get more sleep than she thought I needed.

I had been here for a few days, it already felt like months but thankfully today I was spending the day with my sister and her boyfriend. We purposely planned for her boyfriend to be there so our mom would have no intentions of joining me.

"Are you sure I can't join you two, we can have a girls day" My mom suggested, staring me down as I tied my shoe. I was desperately trying to get out of this house as soon as I could.

"Nope, sorry mom" And with that I rushed out of the door. The second I was away from her I called Paige. In the past few days all my conversations with my girlfriend were short and I felt horrible about it. She picked up right away, almost letting out a breath she was holding.

"I'm so so sorry P" I apologized first, taking my time walking across the busy New York streets.

"I missed your voice" She ignored my apology. I could see why she said it though, when I was around my mom my voice sounded different. More nervous and high pitched.

"I miss you. God I miss your face and your laugh" I rambled, just mesmerized by the girl I couldn't stop thinking about from the moment I left her arms. Every thought I had was about her, even the simplest things that had nothing to do with Paige suddenly reminded me of her.

She laughed and my heart melted. Her laugh was my favorite noise on earth, if I could have it as my ringtone I would but she probably wouldn't be very happy about it.

"Tell me everything Julie." The excitement in her tone couldn't go unnoticed. My favorite part about being in love with someone was that you could tell them all the random details in your life. Update them on the smallest parts of your day and they would just smile and listen to you.

I talked about my trip so far, telling her about Luke from the airport to my mom's usual behavior. It was a beautiful sunny day in New York but I didn't even care to pay attention to anything but the girl on the other line. She told me how she was either at the gym or with the girls since I left. She was rambling on about how Azzi had woken her up by pulling the blanket that she used as a curtain off and blinding her, very similar to how my mom did not long ago.

Before I even realized I was standing outside my sister's familiar apartment complex. I had already contemplated walking backwards a bit to hear Paige's voice for longer but I was already late from how slow I was walking on the way here.

"I'm sorry P, I just got to my sister's. Can I call you later?" I asked, already dreading having to spend more time without her voice and her laugh.

"Obviously. Have fun, bye pretty" She hung up and I walked inside, finding my sister's apartment and letting myself in.

Her and her boyfriend were in the kitchen with their arms around each other, smiling at each other before she realized I walked in and ran to me, knocking me backwards with how hard she ran into my arms. Her boyfriend followed slowly behind her. I had never met him yet but by the way he was watching my sister in awe, I liked him already.

"I seriously hate these once a year trips." My sister, Evelyn, complained. Still holding me in her arms. She was strong so her grip on me was almost breaking my ribs. She pulled away excitedly, grabbing onto her boyfriend's arm and dragging him closer.

"This is Felix" Her smile was wide and she looked at him lovingly. I had seen pictures of them but now he was wearing a gray tank top so his sleeve of tattoos was on full display. He had long hair that was tied into a messy bun at the back of his head. At first glance he definitely seemed like someone mom wouldn't like but I knew my sister and I trusted every decision she made.

Felix reached his hand out and shook mine, afterwards my sister used her other arm to grab me and give me the full tour. It was a small apartment but it seemed so them. It was decorated with things they both enjoyed and it felt like a true home, unlike the boring modern one we were raised in. She sat down on the floor, Felix following her and sitting next to her and I sat in front of them.

"Tell me everything. How's school? How's Paige? How's Rose, ugh I miss her, she's so sweet." Even at 23 years old my sister still had the energy and excitement of a five year old.

"School's hard but I'm managing. Paige is amazing, god like actually amazing. Did you know her nickname is Paige Buckets? It's so adorable. I was just on the phone with her and she was talking about her blanket that she uses as a curtain. It sounds weird, I know but it works so well. And then she was talking about-" I stopped myself, realizing I had been talking about Paige a little too excitedly. I looked at my sister and the smile never left her face and Felix's expression matched hers. I can't believe I just ranted about Paige to my sister and her boyfriend who I've never uttered a word to before.

"Might just have to come down there and meet her, if she's got my sister this whipped." Evelyn laughed but still looked at me with almost tears in her eyes.

"Are you about to cry?" Felix finally joined the conversation, rubbing her back as she smiled, the tears threatening to pool out of her eyes.

"My baby sister is in love" If you couldn't tell Evelyn was always the most dramatic out of the family but I was used to it. Only she would be on the verge of tears over me being in love.

"I think I am." I finally admitted it outloud. Yes I had said 'I love you' in past relationships but actually being in love felt like a whole new feeling. That was enough for the tears to finally stream down my sister's face and Felix wrapped his arm around her shoulder, trying to hide his laugh.

When she finally calmed down we talked. For hours about everything we could think of. I even beat them both in every board game they owned. I liked felix. He cared about Eve and it was evident in his eyes. Even when she wasn't even in the room it was like he was subconsciously still looking at her. If only mom had taken the time to see this instead of just his appearance. Ironic how she wants one daughter to bring a man home but then doesn't approve of the man the other brings home.

It was getting dark out and as many times as they had offered to drive me home I shut them down, wanting to savor anytime I got to talk to Paige. It wasn't too dark thankfully because walking alone as a woman in New York was practically hell, I would have rather been sleeping on her hardwood floor. Once my sister ushered me out the doors, after seven hugs and a few tears I called Paige who answered immediately, like she knew I would be calling that second.

"How'd it go?" She immediately asked, not even wasting time on a 'hello'.

"Perfect, you need to meet them. They love you already" I thought back to the attention both Eve and Felix paid to all the details I mentioned about Paige, they even cared when I whipped my phone out and started rambling about basketball.

"Someone likes to talk about me." I could practically hear her smirk through the phone. She definitely liked knowing I talked highly about her to other people, I mean who wouldn't.

The rest of the call was spent with Paige defending how she had the best music taste and how the whole team fought to get her off aux. Everything she talked about had me a hundred percent focused. She could talk to me about math and I'd be the most interested person. Every word she said made me want to scream those three newly realized words at her but I couldn't just spring them on her like that.

My mind suddenly went to the worst possibilities. Yes we were together but what if it was too soon to say those words? What if she wasn't ready? What if I just scare her away and she goes running?

"Jules, baby. You still there?" Concern was now laced in her voice. I realized that I was lost in thought and didn't even hear the last part of what she was saying.

"Yeah sorry, just thinking." I tried to brush it off, hoping she would just drop it.

Thankfully she did, it wasn't odd for me to get lost in thought and zone out so Paige wasn't too concerned. I walked into my house, still in my own world on the phone with Paige. I jumped when I saw my mom sitting on the couch. Even the way this woman watched TV was scary. She had her arms crossed over her chest and a very unamused expression on her face.

"Hey I have to go, talk later" I cut her off, not on purpose but I had completely walked into my house on the phone with Paige before I even realized. I hung up and sat down next to my mom on the couch. She didn't even look over at me, probably expecting me to feel bad for ditching her all day. My phone buzzed in my lap and I turned it over reading the notification.