Page 16

Today was finally the day I was leaving New York and meeting Paige in Montana. I was basically bouncing off the walls with excitement about meeting the rest of her family. Even my mom was confused when I walked out of my room with basically a jump to my step.

We were driving to the airport. It was a silent car ride but my thoughts were only about Paige and obviously you could tell on my face. I was smiling without even knowing it, completely zoned out thinking about seeing her again.

"Where are you even going? It's not time to go back to school, why don't you stay longer?" She suggested, pulling me out of my thoughts and my face fell. I had no interest in being here at all, the only glimmer of hope was that after this trip I would be seeing Paige.

"I'm going to Montana to see Paige and her family." I decided to just tell the truth, I knew before I got on that plane my mom was going to know Paige was my girlfriend one way or another. If she hated me, well at least I didn't need her help anymore. I was a grown up who could make my own decisions and I knew that in four months Paige made me myself again. She brought back a piece of me that my mom had ripped out. I had to create my real family and that included Paige.

"What is going on with that Paige girl? If that's a cover you can tell me, I won't be mad about whatever boy you're dating now." Of course she was so small minded to think of Paige as a cover up to hide a secret boyfriend she assumed I had.

"She's not, I'm not dating a boy mom." If the desperate tone in my voice wasn't enough to get her to open her eyes I'm not sure what was. Still she let out a huff, like she didn't believe me a bit. I saw the airport come into sight and I knew it wasn't much longer till she knew the truth and she had to live with it.

She stayed silent for a bit, trying to think of her next words. She parked in front of the doors I needed and I started to gather my things, just waiting till I could finally get those words off my chest.

"What's so special about Paige?" She asked, confusion still laced in her voice. I sighed, of course she still just couldn't tell.

I pulled her into a hug, probably the last hug I would ever feel from her. I was angry but I didn't hate my mother, I never could. She raised me, she taught me everything that I knew. We butted heads my whole life but she never just abandoned me the way she was now. She was still my mom, the same one who told me she would be front row at my wedding. When I pulled away she looked even more confused, eyebrows furrowed and the wrinkles more prominent on her forehead. I put my hand on my suitcase, ready to walk into that airport and leave all my hiding here.

I wanted to leave this part of my life in New York. All the years I spent hiding. From my family, from my friends, well from anyone really. I always tried to be someone else, someone that would please the people around me but I couldn't do that anymore. I was ready to move forward and to be myself now, risking the people I might lose doing it.

"She's my girlfriend and I love her." I looked at her face. Her eyes hadn't softened and she just continued to stare at me like maybe she had heard me wrong. After a few more seconds of her silence I turned around and walked towards the entrance, she made no effort to stop me.

Let's see if she ever calls again.

Walking into that airport knowing I had finally told the truth felt like years lifted off my shoulder, like I could walk up to any random person and scream that Paige was my girlfriend in their face. Thankfully I didn't, just walking through security with a very cheerful look on my face which caused those scary security guys who scream at you to take your belt off to give me a few weird looks.

Once I made it through I tried to stay on my feet as much as possible since the flight was six and a half hours long. I had been on longer flights but I hated them. I could only pray there wasn't a screaming baby or a smelly person next to me and I would be fine. It felt like I spent so much more time than usual in airports lately but I enjoyed the people watching. Even the ones who looked sad, like they were leaving something important.

When I got on the plane there were no odd smells and no screaming so I got into my seat, throwing the eye mask over my eyes. Even if it was the middle of the day I would take any excuse to nap. At least it would make the flight feel shorter. I stayed in that position until take off, eventually dozing off.

I was awoken in the middle of the flight by, surprise surprise, a screaming baby. It felt like the world was punishing me. I always felt bad for the moms with the screaming child on the plane. Everyone stared at her, giving the same looks. It wasn't her fault that her child was screaming. That's why I tried my best to keep my eyes glued on the seat in front of me, I had no intentions on making this woman feel bad when she was doing her best.

The screaming died down after a bit and the plane landed, everyone rushed to get off, which I never understood because it's not like the doors were opening. I stayed comfy in my seat until I felt people start to move off the plane and I got up.

I was walking through the airport with my bag rolling beside me, just trying to find the exit where Paige said she would be. She flew here the day before so honestly I was just excited to see her face in a few minutes. I saw a guy I recognized from the plane and I decided to follow him. He was wearing a trenchcoat which felt like he knew where he was going, and he did. I looked up and saw Paige looked around anxiously, not seeing me behind this giant I had followed. I moved away from behind him and into her line of sight and her face lit up. I ran to her, abandoning my suitcase as I did but I didn't care.

Her arms wrapped around my waist tightly, lifting me into her arms. I sunk my head on top of hers, just feeling comfort from her skin. When she put me down I took a look at her, feeling like I hadn't seen her in years when it had only been a week. She grabbed my face, brushing her thumb across my cheek before pulling my face closer and kissing me. As much as I want to say I missed her hugs the most I couldn't lie and say that kiss didn't make my knees weak. It's like the only thing keeping me upright was her hand on my cheek.

When we pulled away she kept her hand on my face, looking into my eyes. There was a glimmer in her eyes, one that felt different than the last time I saw her. She was looking at me like I was the only person in this crowded airport. Her hand grazing across my cheek made me lean into her touch.

"Please never leave for that long, I almost ripped my hair out." She laughed, thinking back to all the times she called me annoyed at Azzi or the other girls. In most scenarios it was Paige annoying them and they wouldn't put up with it but as her girlfriend I had to take her side.

"Trust me, I'm not planning on it." I grabbed her hand that wasn't on my face and smiled at her before she led me to the car, putting my bag in for me. One thing about us was Paige acted like I was a princess. I didn't lift a finger around her because she wanted to do everything for me.

She drove with one hand, the other still holding mine. I continued staring at her, just not getting enough of her face. I had probably memorized all her features by now but it felt like everytime I looked at her, I learned something new.

"I told my mom about us." I admitted out of the blue. She whipped her head to look at me, almost making the car swerve from how shocked she was but she refocused, not saying anything and waiting for me to continue. "Right before I left I told her and if she wants to accept it and be there then she can but if not then I'm done trying."

I saw a smile form on her face. Not just because I had told my mom about our relationship but also because I was finally standing up for myself. I was taking control over my life and she was happy for me.

"I'm proud of you Jules." Once those words left her mouth I wanted to cry. Maybe it's just the mommy issues but hearing someone say they were proud of me for something other than a good grade in school made my heart race.

The car ride to her mom's house wasn't long but as we got closer my nerves started to creep in. I knew when I met her dad it went well but we weren't even together at that point. This would be the first time I'm meeting Paige's family as her official girlfriend which is scary in itself but moms are also the scariest person to meet. Paige could probably see the nerves on my face because she squeezed my hand, her way of telling me everything would be alright.

We started doing that at a game. I could tell she was shaken because they were down by a lot so I grabbed her hand, giving it a tight squeeze. It was a way to support her but also keep our relationship hidden and private. She smiled at me brightly going back on the court and scoring twenty points, giving Uconn the win. Now she copied the action when I was anxious, assuming it had helped her and it helped me too.

When the car stopped in front of the house I got the sudden feeling that I was going to be sick. I had no idea how this was going to go but I didn't even have time to dwell on my feelings before Paige jumped out of the car, grabbing my suitcase and opening my door, extending her hand out to me. I immediately put my hand in hers, feeling already comforted by just holding her hand into the house. We walked in and it was a ghost town. No one was in sight and I couldn't hear anyone. Until we heard people rushing in from the backyard, two younger kids Ryan and Lauren followed by their mom and dad.

"Oh you're finally here." Amy, Paige's mom exclaimed, walking over to us. I was expecting her to reach her hand out to shake mine but instead she pulled me into a hug. I was shocked at first, looking at Paige with wide eyes who just smiled and shrugged but I quickly hugged her back, already feeling better.

"I'm Amy." She introduced herself, pulling away from the hug now.

"Jules." I introduced myself too even though I knew she was aware of my existence already.

"Trust me we know. This one talks about you more than basketball." Scot, her stepdad, now joined in walking over to me and extending his hand. I shook it, looking at Paige who now had her head in her free hand embarrassed that they just exposed her.

Scot chuckled, pulling away now and back over to his spot next to Amy.

"And this is Lauren and Ryan." Paige introduced them. They both just waved and smiled shyly. I don't blame them, I was the same when I was their age. "I'm gonna show her around." Was all Paige said before hurrying out of the room before they said something to embarrass her again.

"So you talk about me huh?" I teased smirking. Obviously I liked knowing Paige told her family about me but I couldn't waste the opportunity to tease her about it. She rolled her eyes smiling, not even trying to defend herself as she continued showing me around. Eventually we made it to what I assumed was her room.

What I didn't expect to find when I walked in was a wall filled with pictures. There were pictures with the team, with Azzi, with her family and I stopped in my tracks seeing there were already pictures of us there too. She had only gotten here last night.

"When did you even do this?" I ran my hands across the pictures, recognizing the memory and when they were taken almost immediately. She walked towards me, obviously understanding what I was talking about.

"The second I got here. It just didn't feel right if my favorite person was missing." She shrugged like it wasn't a big deal. She always did gestures that were sweet but just shrugged it off like she wasn't expecting it to be a big deal.

I turned to face her fully now. Just looking at her I wanted to say it. I wanted to say those three words that had been taunting my brain for days. Just say it, now's the time. It was on the tip of my tongue almost falling out before Ryan screamed out for Paige, bringing us out of whatever moment we were having.

Why was it so hard to just spit it out? I love you Paige Bueckers.