Page 18

Chapter 18

Aiden

W ork went relatively quickly, even though I couldn’t get the image of Atlas standing naked in my kitchen out of my head.

He was beautiful. His dark, golden skin, his muscles, his tattoos standing out against them, his firm stomach, those thick, corded thighs… and yeah, his dick. He was just swinging freely like he didn’t have a care in the world. And when I stared at it for long enough, it came to life and started to get hard.

Which was a little scary, and a little flattering. Ok, maybe a lot flattering. He was freaking beautiful, and I was… Well, I knew I wasn’t ugly, and I didn’t have a negative body image, but I also didn’t think my stare alone was enough to get someone hard.

But it was for Atlas. He got hard snuggled up against me, he got hard if he saw me partially clothed, and he got hard if I looked at him. I think he even smelled my arousal sometimes, because the damn sweatpants he wore (without underwear, mind you) would show his interest when he got a whiff of me.

Sweatpants on Atlas should be outlawed. Holy shit. If he wasn’t strolling around naked like he didn’t have a care in the world, he was strolling around in sweatpants and no shirt.

It seemed like my libido had finally woken up.

I had talked about it with Helene at my session yesterday. I had meant to talk about my brother and the picture and the sheriff, and I did mention some family things, mainly the fact that maybe my childhood was a little worse than I thought it was. Nevertheless, it wasn’t long before we were on the subject of Atlas and my feelings for him.

Helene had said she was proud of the fact that I acknowledged my interest, and she had encouraged me to take things at my own pace, whatever that might be. She said it sounded like I had a very supportive partner, and she was sure he would be kind and accepting no matter what happened.

I knew she was right. The idea of initiating anything was scary, though. That’s when Helene had suggested that maybe I didn’t need to really initiate—maybe I just needed to let Atlas know that it was ok if he initiated.

Ugh. Why did everything have to be so complicated?

The kitchen door opened and Q came in. He was frowning. I wasn’t surprised—he usually looked pissed off after a few hours of customer service. He was a grumpy fucker, but for some reason the customers seemed to adore him. It was like getting insults along with your coffee just made some people happy. Maybe it was because he was never really hurtful—he didn’t say mean things or mock people on sensitive issues (unless you counted a love of pumpkin spice as a sensitive issue). He was just overall grumpy as fuck.

I raised my eyebrows at him, because he was just staring at me expectantly.

“Josh came in. He’s sitting at a table drinking coffee, and he looks like someone kicked his puppy. And Cass isn’t here,” Q announced.

“Ok…” I said, unsure where this was going.

Q rolled his eyes. “Well I sure as fuck can’t talk to him to see what’s wrong.”

“You want me to go talk to Josh?” I asked.

Q threw his arms up in the air. “I don’t know! He looks all sad and shit. I certainly can’t fix it. You talked to him at Toby’s house.”

I resisted the urge to laugh. Q really was dramatic sometimes.

I took off my apron and washed my hands, heading out the kitchen door to the shop. Thankfully, it wasn’t that crowded, and Stephanie was working the counter. Josh was sitting at a table in the corner looking pretty unhappy. Q made a go-over-there gesture to me, and I heard Stephanie telling him to get his ass in motion and make some coffee. Those two were like peas in a pod—they loved yelling at each other.

I grabbed a plate and a muffin from the bakery case, then I walked over to the table. Josh looked up when I set the muffin down and gave me a smile, but it looked forced.

“Hey, Aiden. Thanks. This looks delicious,” he said. He motioned to the seat across from him, and I sat down.

“No problem. You look like you could use a little pick-me-up,” I answered.

Josh busied himself with the muffin, not answering. That was ok. I was used to Atlas. I could handle long silences. I just leaned on the table and watched Josh eat, trying to send out the calm energy that both Helene and Atlas seemed to have. With enough silence, I always started talking. Maybe the same would work with Josh.

He finished his muffin, wiped his hands, took a drink of his coffee, and then played with the cup, not looking at me.

Finally, he said, “Yeah, I guess I could use a pick-me-up.”

“You alright?” I asked quietly.

Josh sniffed, still twirling his coffee cup. Then he shrugged his shoulders, still not looking at me.

I knew he had issues with his boyfriend, and I kind of guessed this was about that, but I didn’t really know. He didn’t seem to be very forthcoming, either. I tried to channel my best Helene impression. How would she handle this?

“All your feelings are valid. It’s ok to be conflicted about how you feel about someone, you know,” I said.

Josh kind of nodded his head. We weren’t that close, and I thought maybe if I shared something, he would be more likely to as well.

I took a deep breath. “I hated the guy who took me. Hated him. But there were days where I also looked forward to his company. I know that seems weird, but…”

Josh looked up at me.

I shrugged. “Then there’s my family. I’m realizing that I love them, but I also sort of hate them at the same time, and that’s a weird feeling. I’m angry at them. I’m angry at a lot of things, and I’m finally realizing it.”

Josh went back to looking at his cup and twirling it in his hands. I just sat, letting him think about what I’d said.

Finally, he said, “Yeah. I get it. How you can both love and hate someone at the same time. How you can have so many good memories, and be so compatible in some ways, and yet have bad times where you really hate some of the things they do.”

“I guess it’s a matter of how bad the bad times are, and how frequent they are,” I said.

Josh nodded his head, then he looked up at me. “I thought he was perfect at first, you know? He seemed to really get me. I’m sort of a control freak, and he let me… let go. He took care of me. But lately…” Josh just shrugged his shoulders again, his face red.

I got the feeling that maybe Josh was talking about sex stuff. I could see the allure of having someone else who took control—after all, wasn’t that what I was just thinking I wanted Atlas to do?

“There’s a difference between taking care of someone and being controlling,” I said.

“What is it?” Josh asked, looking at me.

I thought about that. I thought about Atlas, and how he took care of me but never controlled me.

“Someone who takes care of you always puts your needs first, even above their own. Someone who takes care of you considers you, both in and out of the bedroom. It doesn’t stop with just sex. They respect your feelings and your boundaries,” I answered.

Josh looked down again.

“Does your boyfriend respect you?” I asked gently.

“Some days, I’m not sure he even likes me anymore,” Josh answered, and I could hear the sadness behind his words.

“Then maybe it’s time to find someone who does. You’re smart, and fun, and funny…” I said, but Josh cut me off with a snort.

I touched his wrist, and I didn’t miss the flinch he gave at the unexpected contact.

“Josh, you are worth so much. We all are. Don’t ever let anyone take away your worth,” I said, and then I drew my hand back.

I heard the bell above the door jingle, and Jude walked in, probably ready to take us home. Josh looked up and noticed him, and probably came to the same conclusion. I could see him physically pull himself together and put all his walls back up in place.

“Thanks, Aiden. It was good talking to you. And thank you for the muffin,” he said, looking back in control.

“You have my number. Call if you ever need to, Josh,” I said, and then I got up before he could answer. I didn’t want him to tell me that wasn’t necessary or he was fine, because I knew it would be a lie.

He wasn’t fine. I just hoped he would realize his worth. Like Helene said, sometimes we locked ourselves into rooms, and sometimes we didn’t even know we were doing it.

I hoped Josh would break free from whatever cage he was in.

* * *

The drive home was (thankfully) uneventful—meaning the sheriff was apparently not out patrolling, because Jude didn’t drive like a maniac. Liam was doing research, so Q headed into the main house where Liam’s office and all his tech was, and Jude walked me to the door of our house and then left with a wave.

Fluffy was inside, and I breathed out a sigh, going to sit down on the couch. He tilted his head at me, obviously sensing something was up.

“I think I want to just talk for a minute, and it’s probably easier if you’re in this form while I do it, because in your human form you’re… distracting,” I said.

I swear Fluffy grinned at that.

I swatted at him lightly, laughing, and he only grinned his doggy grin a little wider. I sat and thought for a minute, and Fluffy let me have the time, just being calm and peaceful next to me.

“I think… Well, I think maybe I want to have sex. With you. Well, duh, I mean obviously with you. But… yeah,” I muttered, feeling kind of stupid already.

Fluffy just sat there, looking calm as ever, and it gave me the courage to plow on.

“I don’t think I can initiate, but I wouldn’t mind if you did. Or maybe you could, like, sort of ask me? Or something? I’m not sure I’d be able to say no, but you’d probably smell a no on me anyway, and I wouldn’t say yes, either. So I guess not answering means no? And I know that’s kind of confusing and probably a little difficult, and I’m sorry,” I said, clenching my hands together and looking at my knees.

Fluffy gently licked at my hands, and I looked over. Still as calm as ever. I unclenched my hands and breathed out.

“I want to try sex. Like, anal sex. I’ve never done that. I liked it when you touched us both, too. I like it when we’re skin to skin. Lately I’ve been… interested in trying more. I guess that part of me kind of woke up? But I’m not sure how to go about starting anything, and then I get in my head, and that never leads anywhere good, so, yeah…” I said, trailing off again.

Fluffy was still patiently staring at me. He tilted his head slightly, like he was waiting for me to go on. Only I didn’t really have anything else to say.

“Um, I guess that’s it. So what do you think?” I asked.

And then there was a very naked Atlas sitting on the floor. He scooched up next to me on the couch, and I couldn’t help a glance down…

And yes, Atlas seemed to very much like the idea of initiating sex. Or of me staring at him. I wasn’t sure which, but damn could that thing grow.

And grow.

And grow.

“Yes,” Atlas answered.

I looked at him, totally confused. “Yes what?” I asked. Because, yeah, I had asked him a question, but then I had gotten really distracted by his dick.

It was a really nice dick. It was sort of pretty, even. Hard and thick and a pretty golden pink color. I don’t think I’d ever looked at a dick and thought it was pretty, but Atlas’s was. It was a pretty pink penis.

I almost snorted in laughter at myself.

“Do you want me to put pants on?” he asked.

I looked at his face then, because yeah, I was ogling him. “Um, not unless you want to?” I sort of asked.

Atlas grimaced. “No. Clothes are so… itchy and heavy and hot on your skin.”

I laughed. “Yeah, well, you’re a furnace.”

“Do you want to take off your clothes?” Atlas said, and I swear there were flames dancing in his eyes.

It sounded like a really nice idea, but… “Um, Q and Liam might come home.”

Atlas grabbed my phone off the coffee table in front of the couch where I’d apparently put it when I came in and shot off a text. There was a vibration a minute later, and he handed it back.

I looked at the text. It was to Liam, and it simply said, Don’t come home.

The reply made me laugh. I’m assuming this is the uncultured mutt. Quinton and I will stay here tonight.

I stripped off my shirt, and Altas looked at me hungrily.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked.

“Yes,” I answered.

He put his arms around me, his skin hot against me. He pressed his lips against mine, and it was soft and gentle. I breathed a sigh against his mouth, and he licked at my lips, moaning.

“You taste so good, mate,” he rumbled against me.

I tasted his lips, and our tongues gently touched each other. It was sweet and sexy, and I realized that Atlas didn’t kiss anything like…

Atlas pulled back and bit me on the neck.

“Ow!” I grumbled. It hadn’t really been that hard, but I hadn’t expected it either. I looked up to see him giving me puppy dog eyes, and I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped.

He picked me up then and carried me toward our bedroom, tossing me on the bed so I practically bounced. I giggled a little at it. Then he pulled out lube from the nightstand drawer.

My eyes widened. “When did you get that?” I asked.

“Liam gave it to me when I asked him what human how-to videos I should watch about sex,” he said matter-of-factly.

I sputtered in laughter again. “You asked Liam about sex how-to videos?”

“Yes. He searched for some, but they didn’t seem very practical,” Atlas answered. “There were some articles, too, and they seemed more educational.”

I could just picture Atlas and Liam ending up on some porn site talking about the practicality of whatever was happening in the video, and asking each other, “Do humans really do that?” I couldn’t help the giggle that escaped at the thought. They were so clueless sometimes that it was adorable.

“Can I take off your pants?” Atlas asked, and his eyes were staring hungrily at me, the flames back.

I didn’t answer, but I unbuttoned my pants and pushed them, along with my socks and underwear, off. I waved him over, and he climbed onto the bed. Rather than coming straight up to lay side by side with me, though, he started at my legs, smelling along my calf and then giving my skin a soft nibble. It kind of tickled, making me laugh a little, but it was kind of sexy, too.

My cock was rock hard by the time he had sniffed and nibbled his way up my legs, and he nosed at my balls, inhaling deeply and moaning. It was totally weird, but the fact that he liked my smell that much was also a huge turn on.

Then Atlas licked at my dick, and I sat up sharply, looking down at him. He smiled up at me, raising an eyebrow and sticking his tongue out to give another soft lick.

“Yes,” I murmured in answer to the unspoken question.

He reached up and placed my hand on his head as he laid between my legs, and I carded my fingers through his hair, which made him rumble against me, shooting little sparks through my whole body when I felt the vibration against my balls.

Then he sucked me into his mouth, and holy shit. His tongue circled around my cock, his mouth moving up and down. It was hot and slick, and the feel of his hair in my hands was soft and familiar. I looked down at him as he made eye contact, and he looked so happy—it was such a turn on. He moaned against me again, like he was the one who was getting off.

I groaned when he licked at my slit, and he moaned when he got a shot of my precum, his hips moving against the bed. His hand cupped my balls, gently holding them, and his other hand was holding the base of my dick, softly squeezing.

I leaned back and closed my eyes in bliss, reveling in the sensations. It was overwhelming. I moaned again as Atlas made needy sounds while he sucked on me. His tongue seemed to be everywhere, and his mouth was moving up and down. I knew my hips were thrusting me deep into his mouth, but he seemed to enjoy it. Then his finger was lightly tickling against my hole, not entering, but just rubbing softly, caressing, and when it pressed gently against my hole, just barely penetrating, I felt my orgasm rush through me.

I cried out, and Atlas groaned loudly as I shot into his mouth. I don’t know how long I came for, but it seemed like the longest orgasm ever, and only when the last drop had been milked did he gently pull off my cock, giving my slit one final lick that made me shudder.

He slid up the bed next to me, wrapping his arms around me tightly. Before I could even think about getting Atlas off, he mumbled, “You tasted so good that it made me cum.”

My face got hot but I chuckled. “You’re a weirdo, but I love you,” I murmured, and then I froze.

Because fuck, I’d just told Atlas I loved him.

“I love you, too, mate, even though you aren’t a weirdo,” he replied, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Maybe it was. I relaxed into his embrace, warm and sated and comfortable. That had been an amazing blow job, and knowing that Atlas had enjoyed it so much made it even better. His tongue had been magical, and his hands on my cock, and my balls, and… I froze for a second.

“Atlas?” I asked, suddenly a little curious, because last time I’d checked, he only had two hands, so I wasn’t quite sure how they seemed to be in three places at once.

“Hmm?” he murmured against me.

“Did you grow an extra hand?” I asked.

“Uh uh,” he mumbled. “Just my tail.”

Then he snuffled against my neck and sighed in happiness, holding me tight.

Ok then. Just his tail.

I had questions, but Atlas was hot and relaxed around me, and I was feeling sleepy and cozy, and I figured tail questions could wait until after a little nap.