Page 10

Chapter 10

Aiden

W armth pressed against my back, and there was an arm around me. I thought of burrowing into the warmth and falling back asleep, but I was awake, and my mind was already racing.

Fluffy was a person.

I still wasn’t sure that had totally sunk in. His arm was muscular and huge. His breathing was deep and even next to me.

I kind of wanted to see him.

I didn’t want him awake, though, as weird as that may have been. I gently, slowly shifted away from him. He didn’t pull me tighter or anything, and eventually I managed to roll over enough so that his arm was off me.

I sat up in bed quietly, turning to look at him.

His hair was dark and shaggy, and he had stubble and a goatee. I studied his features. His face was relaxed and looked calm, and I thought of Fluffy, always so calm. His eyelashes were long and beautiful, and I kinda wondered what his eyes looked like. One arm had tattoos on it, but the rest of his body was a dark, golden color. The blanket was pulled up to his waist, and his chest was muscular, his nipples dark little points.

He was built like a fucking tank.

I felt a slight stirring in my dick, because he was beautiful and attractive and I knew him, and my stomach swooped nervously at the feeling of arousal.

Nope. Not thinking about that. Nope, nope, nope.

Fuck.

I breathed my way through my mini-crisis. The entire time, Atlas lay there, not moving an inch, his breathing not changing in the slightest. He didn’t even twitch, and I’m not sure how I knew, but I thought he was awake and maybe had been this whole time.

“You aren’t asleep, are you,” I whispered.

He opened his eyes and looked at me, but he didn’t move a muscle. His eyes were striking and intense, and yet they were warmly regarding me at the same time. It was like looking into Fluffy’s eyes, which was slightly disconcerting. I felt that swoop in my stomach again, because I thought I saw affection in those eyes, and my nerves took hold again.

I looked away, taking a deep breath. There was a man in my bed. Only there had been men in my bed before. Quinton and Liam, and apparently Fluffy, although he had been a dog at the time.

I told myself that having a man in my bed was ok. I was ok. Nothing had to happen.

I looked back up at Atlas, and he was just patiently staring at me, not moving at all, and I felt a jittery feeling in my body like I’d had too much caffeine.

“I’m scared,” I whispered. I thought he would have questions, only Atlas just slowly blinked, then he lifted his arm up, like he was waiting for me to climb back in to snuggle, even though he was the reason I was scared.

Only I defied logic and did exactly that. I turned away from him and slid down under the covers, and his arm wrapped around me, but not so tightly that I couldn’t wiggle away if I wanted to. He sniffed at my neck again, which made little goosebumps rise along my skin. It was nice, and it was also familiar, and I could almost pretend it was just Fluffy behind me. Almost.

When he was done sniffing me, he took deep, even breaths, and I found myself matching his breathing. In and out, in and out. My heart rate slowed, and some of the nerves faded. He was so fucking warm, like an inferno at my back, and his deep, even breaths were calming. He smelled nice, too.

“You’re a person,” I finally said.

He grunted in response, and really, what was there to say?

He didn’t ask me anything. I knew he would answer anything I asked, but I really didn’t even know what to ask or say.

Eventually my stomach growled, and Atlas loosened his arm like he knew it was time to get up. I rolled out of bed and headed out into the house to go to the bathroom, and I didn’t look at Atlas.

Cowardly? Yup.

I peed, brushed my teeth, and splashed cold water on my face. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Eventually, I opened the door, ready to go figure out what the fuck I was gonna do.

Only Fluffy was standing by the back door, tail wagging, just like every morning. So I went into the bedroom and threw on some warm clothes. I grabbed a muffin from the kitchen and took a bite, then I grabbed some biscuits for Fluffy, who was sitting and patiently waiting by the back door.

We walked out, and I ate my muffin and fed him the biscuits. He took them gently from my hand. We walked in silence for a bit, and then I spoke.

“You’re a person. I’m not sure I can wrap my head around that. I feel like I should tell you that you can be a person when we walk, but…”

Fluffy grumbled—not quite a growl but close to it.

I looked at him, and I swear he was giving me a look.

“You don’t mind being a… wolf, or hellhound, or whatever?” I asked.

He wagged his tail, gave a doggy grin, and then started walking, looking back and giving me the “Are you coming?” stare.

I caught up to him and kept walking. He was clearly leading the way this morning, and I followed him in a direction we didn’t usually take. It wasn’t long before I could see a structure up ahead. I knew we were still on the land the guys owned, because Liam’s cameras were all over.

Fluffy was wagging his tail, and he bounded ahead and then bounded back, obviously excited. I couldn’t help but laugh—he wasn’t usually exuberant, and the fact that he was the silent, grunting guy in my bed this morning made the whole thing even more comical.

I walked faster, and… Wow.

“It’s gorgeous,” I said, taking in the cabin.

Fluffy went inside somehow (I wasn’t going to ask how a dog opened a door), so I followed him. Everything looked brand new inside, although it was unfurnished. I wandered around, admiring the woodwork and the large open rooms. There wasn’t even a door on the bedroom yet.

“Did you build this?” I finally asked. Fluffy was sitting in the middle of the living area, and he panted in reply.

“Wow. This is where you’re gonna live?” I asked again. “Or where you already live?” I corrected, because he had been staying somewhere before he started sleeping at my place.

He panted at me again.

“It’s beautiful,” I said, turning in a circle. It was so open and airy. There were tons of windows, and it felt spacious inside for a cabin.

My phone rang at that moment, and I looked at it. It was Helene, my therapist.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hi, Aiden. I know we’re scheduled to meet later in the week, but I had a cancellation, and I wondered if you wanted to come in this afternoon?” she asked.

“Oh. Actually, yeah, I think that might be good,” I said, staring at Fluffy. He just wagged his tail.

“Ok. I’ll see you at our usual time. Bye, Aiden.”

“Bye,” I murmured, and then she was gone.

“I have therapy tonight,” I told Fluffy. Then I took one last look around. “I also need to get ready to head to work. This is a really beautiful place, Atlas. I hope…” I trailed off, blushing. “I hope you’ll still visit.”

He looked at me, tilted his head, panted, then grumbled. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I figured I wasn’t rid of him, which made me glad despite my panic this morning.

We headed back to my place, Fluffy walking along beside me. I didn’t talk much, but I reached down and ran my hands through his fur now and then. I knew he was a person, but I really didn’t want to lose out on this time with him. It was ok to still pretend a bit, wasn’t it? I guess I could ask Helene later. Somehow or other. I grinned at the thought of telling her the truth.

Fluffy licked my hand, and I laughed. I had felt weird this morning, unsettled, but I felt better now after our walk. I could almost convince myself that nothing had changed.

* * *

Everything had changed. Of course everything had changed. I was rinsing off my baking equipment from the day, stuck in a whirlwind of thoughts.

You’d think I was an ostrich burying my head in the sand. If they were even the ones who buried their heads in the sand. Some kind of animal did it, anyway, and I was apparently the same. Because, yeah, my dog turned into a guy. A very attractive guy. A guy I had… my stomach swooped again, but I had to face it.

I had a physical response to Atlas. I thought he was beautiful. I had felt the stirrings of interest, and I hadn’t felt that since…

Yeah, so panic mode was back. It was good that Jude was already here, waiting to drive me to therapy. Not that I could explain any of this to my therapist. What would I say? Hey, Helene. It turns out my super sweet and loving dog is actually a really attractive guy, which sends me into a spiral of panic because I was held hostage and assaulted for a year, and I haven’t really had any thoughts about people being attractive since then.

Yeah, I didn’t think that would work. I mean, maybe the last part would work. Maybe I could just say it was like a friend of a friend or something and not even mention the dog part.

Cass poked his head into the kitchen area. “Aiden, I think everything is as clean as it’s going to get. You alright?”

I looked at him, startled. Yeah, I’d been washing dishes for a really long time, and I needed to go if I wasn’t gonna be late.

“Um, yeah. Ok. I’m ok. Yeah,” I muttered unconvincingly.

I walked out, and he carefully rested a hand on my arm, giving me plenty of time to duck away.

He looked thoughtful for a moment, then he said, “You know, everything will work out, and you’ll be ok. You’ll be ready to move on when you’re ready to move on, but you will move on.”

I nodded at him and kept walking, my throat thick. Jude called out a greeting, and I just nodded back. I was keyed up and I knew it, and Jude didn’t say anything as we walked out to the car. When we got there…

“Fluffy!” I said, smiling.

He was sitting in the back seat, panting out the window, and I climbed in next to him. He settled half laying on my lap, and I ran my hands through his fur, feeling calmer just because he was here.

And wasn’t that kind of fucked up? Atlas made me nervous and anxious and scared, but I was comforted that Fluffy was here. I knew they were the same person, but my brain just equated humans with bad things.

Jude just started driving, and I leaned my head back. We got to the therapist pretty quickly, and I was glad I wasn’t riding in the front to see the speedometer. If Jude was trying to get caught speeding again… I mentally rolled my eyes at his antics with the sheriff.

I got out of the car, and to my surprise, Fluffy followed me, trailing behind me as I walked up to the building.

“Um, I don’t know if dogs are allowed,” I said softly.

He just panted at me and followed me into the building when I opened the door.

Ok then. We made our way to Helene’s office, and I didn’t even have time to sit down in the waiting room before she called me into the office.

I walked in, and Fluffy followed. He nosed the door shut behind him, and Helene looked up. I was standing there all awkward, and Fluffy was sniffing the air. Helene stared at him, then she sighed.

“Nope, you can’t stay. I don’t think he can talk about you in front of you,” she said, walking over to the door. She opened it and stared at Fluffy, saying, “You can wait out there, but if I hear a peep from you, you’re out of the building, got it?”

Fluffy trotted out, and she shut the door behind him, going back behind her desk and motioning me toward a chair.

What. The. Hell.

“Umm…” I murmured, then I trailed off, because what was I supposed to say? And why did Helene talk to Fluffy like he was a person who understood her?

Helene just stared at me patiently, but I couldn’t even think of where to begin.

“Aiden, I’m sure you have some unpacking of emotions to do, and I can guarantee you that anything you say will be absolutely fine, no matter how crazy it may seem,” Helene said calmly.

I stared at her, confused and unsure.

“I’m your therapist, Aiden,” she said gently. “I have only ever kept your best interests in mind and tried to help you heal, and I will continue to serve in that role. Anything you tell me, no matter how crazy you think it sounds, is totally fine. This is a no judgement zone, remember?”

She had helped me in so many ways, and I did trust her. Then there was Fluffy—he’d left me alone with her, and I trusted his judgement, probably more than my own. Which was ironic, because I was also panicked because of him.

I guess it was time to “unpack” my feelings, as she called it. How she acted toward Fluffy wasn’t important. Head in the sand? Maybe, but I had enough to worry about without wondering if my therapist knew Fluffy was really a person.