Page 91 of Hold 'Em Tight

Colt stands. “I’ll join you.”

Len and Teo are speaking softly to each other, and when Mateo bends over to hug Lennox, I know that they need a few minutes to just be alone.

“Wait for me,” I call out to my Cherry and Colt. I glance back before shutting the front door and smile.

Things are still rocky, but for now, we are on the right path, and all it took was some truth bombs. I am going to nail this therapist thing.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Have you ever smiled brightly and cheered loudly, like you were having the best time of your life, when really you were dying on the inside?

That's exactly how I feel when the football team jogs onto the field. My eyes immediately seek out Trevor. When they land on him, my stomach dips, and I feel like I’m going to puke all over the nice green turf.

It’s been a few weeks since everything went down at Missi and Lennox’s wedding. Between Trevor taking a break from our relationship, and all the attention surrounding Missi and Lennox’s father’s big blow up, I’ve been a mess.

The excitement of having Lennox back in our lives has been short lived, because even though he’s returned to us, he’s not actually back.

He’s quiet and closed off. Things between him and Mateo are tense, and I’m no help when it comes to trying to be there for him, because my head’s a fucking mess.

The depression I felt before has returned tenfold, and all I’m focused on is waking up and surviving every day.

I know the guys are worried about me. I’ve been moody as hell, closed off and distant.

All I can think about is what Trevor said. I’m a horrible person, the worst. I don’t deserve these guys.

I’ve been lying to them for months. How do I tell them though? Any time I think about it, I can’t breathe.

When the truth comes out, Trevor is going to be destroyed because he’s going to find out that he put all that hard work in trying to take care of me, when there hasn’t been a baby growing inside of me for a while.

We continue to cheer on the players until they make it over to the bench, before taking our seats to watch the game.

I’m a wreck the whole time, unable to take my eyes off of Trevor. I miss him so fucking much. We’ve been texting, but it’s been very short, with a lot of one-worded answers.

I feel like I’ve traded in one boyfriend for another. Actually, in reality, it feels like I’ve lost them both.

Everything is a mess, and I don’t know how to fix it without hurting so many people I love.

I should have just told them the moment I took the test, and let them help me through the journey. When will I learn that protecting people only seems to hurt them in the long run?

When half-time comes around, I feel sick, like I’m going to pass out. My head is spinning, and I feel like I’m getting the chills. Now is not the time for the fucking flu to kick in.

We only have two more cheers to do for this game and then we’re done. I can do that.

Getting into formation, we do our dance. Everything seems to be going fine, until the guys lift me into the air; Mateo is holding me up by my ass, while Colton and Donny hold my feet.

Lifting my hands over my head, I’m shouting and cheering for the team when I’m hit with a wave of dizziness, feeling my head spin.

My vision goes blurry for a moment as I sway.

“Rylee, are you okay?” Mateo calls up to me.

Everything feels sluggish, like I’m trying to move underwater. I’m not okay. Not at all. Fuck, this isn’t gonna be good.

“N-no,” is all I manage to get out before my body gives out on me and I pass out.

When I come to, I’m not in the air anymore. I'm laying down on the cold, hard ground. “Rylee, fuck.” Donny’s in my face, cupping my cheeks. “Cherry, you scared the shit out of me.”

“She’s awake,” Donny calls over his shoulder.