Page 80 of Hold 'Em Tight

“Name?”

“Callie John.”

She types on her computer before her smile grows. “You must be Colton,” she says. “We’ve heard so much about you.”

My stomach twists with guilt. Right now, I feel like the worst son.

Don’t think like that, Colton. After everything you’ve done for her, you have the right to need some time to process. You have your own life to live for once, and enough bullshit to deal with already. You are not a bad person. You are not a bad son.

Yeah, even as I tell myself that, I don’t believe it.

“Follow me.” She gets up and rounds the counter before heading off towards the big bay windows. “She loves to sit out in the garden and have her afternoon tea with some of the other residents.”

The closer we get, the more my stomach is in knots. Is it hot in here? I feel as though I’m sweating like crazy right now.

“Hey, Callie. There’s someone here to see you.”

My mom’s eyes flick over in our direction, and the moment they lock on mine, I have the urge to cry.

She looks… nothing like I remember. Her face is fuller, the dark circles are gone, and there’s this new light in her eyes. She looks healthy, like she did back when Caitlyn was alive.

“Colton.” Her voice breaks as her eyes fill with tears.

“Hey, Mom.” My voice cracks.

She’s up from her chair and over to me in seconds, wrapping her arms around me tightly, and it takes everything in me not to lose it.

“I’ve missed you so much, my sweet, sweet boy.”

Squeezing my eyes shut, I bury my face in her hair. It smells the same as it always has, and I’m taken back to when I was just a boy and mom would cuddle with me in bed, reading me and Caitlyn a bedtime story.

“I missed you too.” My throat is thick with emotion.

“Come, come sit,” she says, sniffing as she wipes at her eyes, a smile still on her lips, as she takes my hand and pulls me toward the bench she was sitting on. “So, tell me,” she exclaims, sounding eager. “How’s life? School? Your friends? Rylee?”

I feel like an asshole to even think this, but I’m surprised she remembers my girlfriend's name.

“It has its challenges,” I say, running a hand over my hair. “School’s good. Cheer’s great. We have a new member, and I think we really have a shot at winning Nationals this year.”

“That's wonderful!” she exclaims, sounding generally excited. She’s never been interested in it before, so it’s kind of nice to see. “Tell me all about it.”

For the next hour, we just sit and talk. She tells me about everything she’s done here, all the things she learned, and I tell her as much as I’m willing to when it comes to my life. There’s a lot she doesn’t need to know, or wouldn’t understand.

It’s not until visiting hours are coming to an end that things take a serious turn.

“I should get going,” I tell her, looking at the time on my phone.

“Not yet.” She takes my hands in hers, giving them a squeeze. “I need to say something first, okay?”

Here we go.

“Okay…”

“I’m so, so sorry, Colton.” Her eyes mist over. “For everything. After your sister passed away, I checked out. I couldn’t handle the pain of losing my baby girl.” Her voice breaks and my heart aches.

“But it was wrong of me because I still had you. Just because I lost her, that shouldn’t have meant I stopped being a mom. You needed me, and I wasn’t there for you. I know there’s nothing I can say that can ever fix what I did, or get back the time that we lost, but I am truly and deeply so, so sorry.”

Tears spill down her cheeks, and it’s not until I lick my lips and taste salt that I realize I’m crying too.