Page 30

Chapter 30

Proximity

Brandon

“Me?!” Parker says, “What the hell is wrong with you ? What are you doing?”

“Currently? Being throttled”, I remove Parker’s hand from my throat. “If this a new hands-on service that Summit is providing, I’ll pass”. He continues to gape. “Feel free to dismount anytime, by the way”.

“What? Oh, sorry”. Parker rolls off, in a more athletic way than feels necessary. He helps me to my feet. “But you still need to tell me what you’re doing”.

“I need to find my papers, okay?” I mutter, returning to the filing cabinet.

“What papers?”

“My registration papers”. Duh.

“Your registration papers. Oh, of course. Silly me”.

“It’s an emergency”. I pause, suddenly aware of how implausible this sounds. “An administrative emergency”.

“A midnight administrative emergency. Got it. Why didn’t you just say so?”

“I wouldn’t expect you to understand”. It’s taking all my control not to drink in every part of him. It’s barely been a week, but it feels like a lifetime since we’ve been this close. Since he’s touched me.

Parker starts pacing behind me. “I can’t believe you actually broke in . This is a secure and elite training facility”.

“Who leave their windows open”.

Parker makes a visible attempt at remaining calm. “Carter. I’m going to count to five. Then I’m going to get pissed”.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, Di Rossi”. Just then Parker’s phone starts ringing. He blinks in surprise at the screen and turns it toward me. Millie St Clare.

Well, that’s just perfect.

I’m about to suggest that he and Millie take their impromptu trip down memory lane someplace else when the unmistakeable sound of a key turning in the lock of the front door makes us both freeze.

Before I can speak, Parker drags me into a supply closet, swiftly shutting the door behind us. “Brilliant”, I hiss, scrambling out from under his weight for the second time in two minutes. “Now what?”

“Now you shut up for ten seconds and hope that whoever the hell this is isn’t looking for a stapler. And you can stop glaring”, Parker mutters. “I’m not exactly having the best night of my life either”.

“Your feet are in my face”, I jostle for room, somehow crushing us together even closer. His groin is now basically pressed into my side so tightly that I can feel his—wait. Hold on.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

“Is this turning you on Di Rossi?”

“Shut up”, he hisses, “It’s the friction”.

Oh my God. I want to laugh. I can’t. I mustn’t.

Footsteps have stopped right outside the door. “Security”, he mouths. Just then his phone vibrates and I can’t help but let out a small giggle at the perplexed look of irritation on his face. He clamps his palm around my mouth. It buzzes again, then again. Parker fishes it out, blinking into the darkness as his face is illuminated by the display.

I have really freaking missed him.

Wordlessly, he turns the screen so I can read it:

Hi Parker,

I’m sorry to write out of the blue, but I’ve been carrying this secret for three years, and I can’t keep it to myself any longer.

The night after Brandon’s party, you and I went home together. I lay awake all night, replaying what had happened between the three of us. Not because I regretted it, but because it was clear that there was a far deeper connection between you and Brandon than I previously realised.

You were, and still are, my first love. Losing you was terrifying to me. That’s why I did what I did.

Before I left your home, I saw that Brandon had sent you a message telling you that he had feelings for you. In my panic, I impersonated you and replied in your name. The things I said were wicked and unkind. I don’t know what I was thinking; only that I was very much in love with a guy who clearly had feelings for someone else.

I saw from your social media that you and Brandon have reconnected. I’m immeasurably happy about this and can only sincerely apologise for my role in any issues with your friendship.

I’m happy to talk about this further but understand if you would prefer not to hear from me again.

Millie St Clare

I read it twice. Slowly, I remove his hand from my lips. He looks as stunned as I feel, but in the midst of confusion, one single thought bubbles to the surface.

It wasn’t him.

The footsteps pass, and the door closes. A key turns in the lock, then silence.

Parker slowly opens the cupboard door, and gestures for me to follow him. The filing cabinet is still open, but my paperwork is the furthest thought from my mind.

“I can’t believe she’d do something like–”, Parker begins, but I pull him quickly into a kiss. He kisses me back immediately, slipping his hands around my waist, bending me over Simon’s desk.

When our lips part, he grabs me into a bear hug, crushing his body against mine.

“Hi”, he says, burrowed into my shoulder.

“Hi”, I mumble back. “I missed you”.

“I really missed you”. His eyes land on the open filing cabinet. “You don’t need to tell me anything else. Let’s just get your paperwork and get the hell out of here”.

“No, I want to be honest. To stop Dodgering”, I explain to him about the paper trail. About how even though it’s unlikely, and ridiculous, I’ve been raised to protect myself and my family from people who want to expose us. “I know I’m being paranoid, but I can’t help it”.

His hand finds my shoulder. “I understand”.

“Do you? I’m not sure I do”. He hovers. “I feel like my coming out has been one false start after another. Everyone in my life who matters knows who I am. I don’t know why that doesn’t feel enough”.

“I’m bisexual”, Parker says suddenly. A slow smile spreads across his face. “I wanted you to hear that from me. Before I tell anyone else. Because one day I will. I just need some time”.

“I’m proud of you”. You’re braver than me, Parker. You just don’t know it yet. “And there’s no pressure from me. It’s a lot, or it can be. I just want you to know I’m in your corner”.

“You shouldn’t have to hide who you are, but doing it to protect the people you love is classic Brandon. One of the many reasons that I’m falling even more…” Parker trails off, clears his throat. “And if anyone here ever leaked anything about you, I’d kill them”.

I make a show of consideration. “What if it was Sheryl?”

“I’d hurl her through the paper-shredder. No hesitation”.

“I know. That’s what scares me”.

“Do you want to know what scares me?” Parker says softly. “You. My feelings for you. This thing between us scares me. In-case you hadn’t noticed, I have a habit of losing things that are important to me”.

“I’m not going to get lost, Di Rossi”. For the first time in a long time, I feel certain about that.

“I’ll log in right now and update your file”, Parker boots up the computer. “Just say the word. Do you want me to?”

My whole life, I’ve been programmed to protect my parents. I’m not an idiot. I don’t really imagine that someone out there is going to hack into Summit’s files and expose me. That I’d even be important enough to do that to. Even if they did, so what? Maybe they’d be doing me a favour.

Maybe it’s time I do myself a favour. “Brandon?” Parker nudges me.

I shake my head. “Leave it. Leave the files as they are. Whatever happens, happens”.

“You’re sure?”

“Nope”, I smile. “But that’s okay. Not having everything all worked out has led me to some pretty unexpectedly awesome places so far”. He fills my field of vision, big and strong. “I’m sorry you had such a rough day”.

He pulls me in for another kiss. “It’s looking up now”.

We stand there for a moment, just the two of us. “From one non-relationship expert to another”, Parker runs his hand up my chest, “What happens after two people who are seeing each other have their first mini-fight?”

“I thought you’d never ask”, I grin, “They mini-make up”.