Page 58 of His Illegitimate Duchess

“Wait,” she told Colin, and he stopped talking. “Please clarify this – the water comes from these rainwater cisterns,” she said slowly.

“Unless there’s a drought, then it gets delivered like to all the other households.”

“Right. And then, where does the water go… after?”

Understanding dawned on Colin’s face.

“That is the best part – no more nightmen or cess pits, it all goes directly into rainwater drains and out into the Thames.”

Elizabeth frowned, uncertain whether she approved of this system, but Colin had apparently decided that was enough conversing about cess pits for one day.

“Our last stop is the bedroom,” he announced and led the way.

*

“Did the workmanship on the bed seem familiar to you in any way?” he asked her at dinner later.

Elizabeth thought back to the dark mahogany bed with four intricately carved supporting columns and how the vines in the carvings looked like they were spelling out the letter E over and over again.

“Not really,” she said cooly, deciding not to reveal what she had noticed.

Or believed she had noticed.

Her husband looked disappointed.

“I was certain you would recognise his work. I had Ward make the bed while we were in Norwich.”

“Robert?” Lizzie had difficulty understanding. “You had Robert make you a bed?”

“Make us a bed. He is a carpenter, is he not?” Her husband asked defensively.

“Yes,” Lizzie tried again, more calmly this time. “I just didn’t know he was working for you.”

“What else would he have done in Norwich all those months?” Talbot said haughtily. “Besides, once I realised we would be sharing a bed every night, I thought it might be a good idea to have a very wide one.”

Lizzie smiled. “It was a good idea,” she agreed, and his eyes lit up.

She remembered Stevenson’s words about every item in this house being handpicked by Colin, and she realised he was trying to diminish the importance of the idea behind having the bed made.

She then remembered another thing that had been on her mind that afternoon.

“Why do you dislike my brother and his wife?”

Colin looked taken aback by the question. “Pardon?”

“I know this sounds unrelated to the topic at hand,” she said apologetically, “but I’ve been thinking about this ever since you introduced me to Mister Brandon and told me about your friendships from school.

I realised that you’ve kept all your other friends close, including Stevenson, why not Nicholas? ”

Colin sighed. “Let’s go sit in the library.”

Once they had both settled in their armchairs, Colin sighed again, more loudly this time, like he was preparing for something.

“You are right in assuming that I tend to keep my friends close, even if they’re idiots like Pratt and Stone,” he said with a weak smile. “Only, I wasn’t aware of how vital it was for me to do so until your brother’s wedding.”

Elizabeth’s brow furrowed.

“Now that I’m happily married myself, I understand how a man’s priorities can change, but when Hawkins got married, all I could see was how little time he spent with us, how little he wrote to us, and how our friend group was drifting apart.

I have no idea why that unsettled me so strongly, to be perfectly honest with you, and I blamed his wife for the change instead of examining my own feelings,” he admitted with a worried look on his face.

“The end result was that my resentment and bitterness were becoming more and more apparent in every interaction with your brother until he decided to distance himself from me for good.”

“Why would he do something as extreme as that?”

Talbot looked away uneasily.

“You remember how I told you about the mistress he used to have, the one whose house he gifted you?”

Elizabeth nodded.

“Well,” Colin sighed again, “we were at a ball where she was trying to get his attention, and Pratt, Stone, and I all noticed and laughed and pointed it out, and then he went over to where she was to talk to her. I think it caused problems with his wife, and Hawkins blamed us. Me more than the others for some reason. I think that is why his wife dislikes me.”

Colin straightened in his seat. “We were all part of the same social set. We all, to my knowledge, espoused the same values. He and I, in particular, had… difficult relationships with our fathers. Our friendship was important to me.” He swallowed and glanced at Lizzie, who was careful to keep her face blank.

“Eventually, after his daughter was born, I decided to visit him in Ashbury.”

Colin stared at the fire so long that Elizabeth started thinking that the story ended there.

Then he spoke again, “We argued and I said some things and he sent me away. It wasn’t my proudest moment.

I’ve only realized this recently, I actually envied Hawkins and his wife the happiness and the family they had built and I truly believed that Nicholas was pushing me away, excluding me from it, when in reality, there was still place for me in his life, if I’d been more supportive and patient.

I am, to this day, ashamed of how I behaved. ”

His anguish radiated from his words, and Elizabeth understood him better than he would ever know, for she herself had suffered so long due wondering whether there was a place for her in her brother’s life.

“Have you told him that?” She asked softly.

“Of course not,” he replied quickly, and his bristling at her (apparently ludicrous) statement made her smile.

“Does that shame extend to the way you approached me in the street?”

He smiled back. “You’re the one who should be ashamed. Striking a duke.” He shook his head and tsked.

It was suddenly clear to Elizabeth how much her husband hated change and people leaving his life if he didn’t want them gone.

With her brother, he’d behaved like a wounded animal, biting everyone around him because of his own pain.

She remembered his face as she broke off their friendship after what she’d overheard him say about her.

She contrasted his words in the Fairchild library with the man she had been married to all these months. How could one be so tender and good, but so cruel at the same time? Was it possible to contain such contradictions within oneself?

*

The weeks flew by quickly as Lizzie was in the process of learning about and establishing herself in her new household.

She was also visiting and receiving her close friends, hosting and attending small, intimate dinners, and visiting the Mayfair house at least four times per week.

Lady Burnham was a fixture at her home, guiding her on how she would conduct herself whenever she decided to leave her little bubble and step into her new role in London society.

One day, she was summoned to her husband’s study.

“You called for me?” She asked, disturbed at this break in their routine.

“Please come in, wife,” he said gravely. “I have something rather delicate and serious I wish to discuss with you.”

This is it, she thought with a sinking feeling in her stomach. I’ve fallen short in some regard, and he is about to berate me.

Colin looked like he was struggling to speak.

“Why aren’t you spending any money?” He asked with a frown.

“W-what?” Lizzie stammered.

“I’ve been working on the ledgers, and there is nothing here! No new furniture, no jewellery, not even a new inkwell,” he said reproachfully.

“I don’t… I didn’t need any new things,” she said, confused.

“Of course you don’t need things, but don’t you want them?” He looked at her expectantly.

Elizabeth finally relaxed, having ascertained that her frugality was the only reason for her husband’s agitated state. “I have everything I want,” she smiled. “And you happened to marry a woman whose most frivolous expense is buying beeswax candles instead of tallow ones.”

“And even those she uses sparingly,” Colin grumbled. “Well, I took matters into my own hands.”

“What do you mean?”

“I have arranged a separate carriage for you, with our family crest, of course,” he said arrogantly.

“Of course,” Lizzie humoured him.

“Your Mister Ed was thrilled at the prospect of driving you around again,” he said, trying to pretend that he disapproved, and Lizzie clapped her hands together excitedly. “Your first errand is to go to the final fitting for your new dresses.”

Elizabeth frowned. “What dresses?”

“You need new clothes for the Season, so I took the liberty of ordering some items from the modiste Mary indicated. I am quite confident everything will be to your liking.”

“How arrogant you are!” Lizzie said in mock exasperation, and his lips twitched. “I happen to be otherwise engaged today.”

“No worries, the salon will still be there tomorrow. Pray tell, what engagement does my Duchess have planned for this fine afternoon?”

“I need to call on my brother’s wife. She has just returned from Ashbury, and she invited me for tea.”

“I hope you will enjoy yourself,” Colin said, but looked worried. “Will you see your brother while you’re there?”

Lizzie thought that he was remembering the intimate details he’d shared about their lost friendship, and she felt for him. “I don’t think so. She mentioned the days when he would be in, and today isn’t one of them.”

Colin pressed his lips together and nodded without saying anything.

*

“Can you not stay for a little while longer? Your brother will be home soon. He’ll be upset when he learns he missed your visit,” Sophie begged when Elizabeth rose to leave.

“I can’t, I’m expected elsewhere. Please send him my regards. And extend my felicitations regarding the new addition to your family. I am so happy for both of you,” she congratulated Sophie on her pregnancy once more.

“Lizzie, please, Nicholas is devastated by how-”

Lizzie turned around abruptly, almost toppling the small table next to her. “I have to go. Thank you for everything.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Lizzie, we’re family.”

Lizzie smiled weakly and, with a nod, left before Sophie could say anything else.

The afternoon had been… fine . They had exchanged news and interesting details about their lives in these past months. Sophie had shared the news of her pregnancy, and then the nursemaid had brought Emma in, and the rest of the time had been spent in Elizabeth indulging her niece’s every whim.

So why was she crying in the back of her new carriage?

The truth was, it had felt very unnatural and unlike Lizzie to treat Sophie the way she had. The other woman had always been very kind and welcoming to her, but the situation with Nicholas had led Lizzie to question everything, including her place in her new niece or nephew’s life.

Who knew what Sophie really thought of her? Maybe she agreed with Nicholas’s assessment of her? Perhaps she and Charlotte had always laughed behind Lizzie’s back at how uncouth she was?

*

Right before dinner, Elizabeth sat in her dressing room, finishing a letter to Mrs. Brandon, when Mary came in with the biggest smile on her face.

“Guess what?”

Lizzie looked up.

“What?” she asked, narrowing her eyes.

Mary knelt next to her. “I’m in the family way.”

Lizzie’s eyes widened. “Are you sure? Good heavens, Mary! That is wonderful news!”

“The country air was good for me,” Mary said with a nod.

They both stood up, hugged, then jumped up and down, then hugged some more and then finally, both started crying.

“Finally,” Mary sobbed.

Lizzie smiled a secretive little smile. “And you are certain?”

“Absolutely. It’s nothing like the other times. And I’ve seen a midwife today. She pressed my stomach and asked me all sorts of things, and she says it’s definite.”

“I am so happy for you, Mary. I’m going to spoil that child beyond belief.”

And she meant it. With both Mary and Mary’s child, she knew where she stood.