Page 10

Elliott

'You are my little Eden.'

Samuel's voice echoes over and over in my head, and they used to bring me comfort. Those words made me feel at home, like I belonged to something. Now they took on a whole new meaning, a dark and fucked up meaning.

It's been a few days since Hunter and Marcus found me on the floor. I started eating small snacks and drinking more water as the doctor. or whatever he was, requested me to do. Only because he told me I would get worse if I didn't and I wasn't interested in finding out what worse could be.

Even with my food and water intake, my emotions were barely beginning to heal.

I haven't showered or brushed my teeth. I haven't done anything but lay in this bed.

Sleeping, waking up from night terrors, and then back to sleep again.

I know I must be a mess. Hunter and Marcus haven't said a word but I know, I feel gross from the inside out. My mind hasn’t healed at all, every day my memories flicker through my mind with new meaning.

The way he wanted to always play family with me.

The way he made me wash his hair more times than I can count.

All the sweet words he used to tell me. That he was always there for me.

It was all because he wanted me as his wife, not his sister.

Not as his family but as a means to start a family.

"Knock, knock." Hunter's voice fills the room. "How are we this morning?"

I knew I had to start giving them something, so I mustered the only thing I could, "Okay."

His brows raised from the response, "That's good to hear." He slowly advances, his hands in his pant pockets. His face is expressionless again. Hunter wasn't a big talker, but he talked more than Marcus. "Do you think you are ready to try and get out of bed today?"

"Have you heard fro—"

"No." He sighs, "I told you I would let you know when he did, I promise. And if there is one thing you should know about Marcus, Kam, and I it's that we don't go back on a promise. He will call when he can."

All I could do was nod.

He walks into the connected restroom and I hear the water start up from the shower before he comes back out, leaning in the doorway. "I think it's time we talk, Elliott." His eyes were locked on mine, "Not just for you, but for Kameron, too. "

I can't keep eye contact as flashes of Samuel's face flood my vision.

"I think a shower is a good start," he pushes off of the frame of the doorway only to walk out of the room, the door silently closing behind him.

I know he’s right. I need to get out of this bed.

I needed to tell them everything I knew, even if it felt like I knew nothing at all anymore, about Everton or Samuel…

the Donovan family. They all felt like a group of strangers now.

But maybe, just maybe there could be some tiny detail that could help with the mission. To help get Kameron back.

Getting out of bed was a struggle. All of my limbs screamed for me to stay tangled in the fabric of the bed sheets. To keep me cocooned from the world. If it were up to me, I would hide here forever, never to see the world again. To never speak of Everton again.

I knew that was a fantasy that would never come true.

I swing my shaky legs over the edge of the mattress, taking a deep breath as I lift up and hold my arms out for balance. My head sways as the blood rushes from my head. I shut my eyes, focusing on taking deep breaths.

Don't pass out. Don't pass out.

Don't. Pass. Out.

The last thing I need is one of them, or worse both , coming in to save my ass again .

I let out a deep breath as the groggy feeling in my head starts to dissipate.

"Thank the Di—" I swallow down my whisper, not allowing the rest of those words to leave my lips.

I take small steps towards the bathroom which is already filled with steam from the shower.

I remove the clothes that aren't mine off my body and let them form a small pile next to the toilet.

I stare at the shower door for a moment before turning to the sink and letting my hands rest on the edge of the cold stone vanity.

I allow my head to hang low as I continue to focus on my breaths again.

It's a shower. You can finally wash everything away. You just have to get in.

I lift my head and stare at the mirror on the wall above the sink.

I can't see the state of myself with the mirror fogged up, but I can only imagine.

I push off the vanity slowly and open the glass door to the shower.

More steam bellows out and my whole body shivers.

I take a step in, the water is scalding hot and I hiss as it pelts my foot but I continue to inch my way in.

The pain feels good, a form of relief like the burn marks used to give me.

I allow my whole body to be drenched in the pain of the boiling hot water, tears form and roll down my cheeks as I allow the water to take me over.

I lean my head back and the same sting develops on my scalp.

The tears grow as my body adjusts to the temperature and the pain no longer engulfs me.

Is it fucked up that I want it back? I know the answer, but I can't help but need it .

I run my hand over my head and feel the knots that formed on the back of my scalp.

I turn my focus on the few items lined up on the indented tile shelf.

I grab one and read the label finding it’s body wash.

I flip open the cap and pour it into my palm and the scent of rosewood takes over my senses and the familiar smell has my lips curving into a small smile.

The scent of Kam gives me a little bit of encouragement to clean myself, to rid myself of Samuel.

I grab the coarse loofah on a small hook by the shower head, and coat it in Kameron's soap and begin to scrub myself with all my strength.

I don't stop until my whole body burns from the countless times I rubbed the loofah over and over until I feel somewhat less dirty.

My skin is red all over from the exfoliation as I place the loofah back onto the hook and search for shampoo and conditioner.

I rake my fingers through my hair to release the knots.

Once I feel that everything is cleaned up enough I turn off the water, wrapping myself up in the large towel Hunter left for me.

I sit on the cold porcelain lid of the toilet and let my mind wander.

My soaked hair drips down my back and I don't know how much time has passed, but when I stand up in front of the mirror I can now see my reflection. The steam has cleared from the room and I look at myself. The girl looking back at me isn’t someone I recognize anymore.

There’s a change in my eyes and the bags underneath make me look ill.

I see the yellow markings on my neck from my cleansing ceremony and swallow down the pain that’s boiling up again.

I stop myself from touching them mid-reach.

I take one last look before gripping my towel against my chest and leave the bathroom.

As I drag myself to the bed again, I see a set of clothes folded neatly for me along with a bag of toiletries.

Another pair of sweats but this time they’re in my size, a sports bra, underwear, and a large shirt that smells of Kameron.

I dry off and slip into the clothes I can only guess Hunter brought in while I was in the shower. Brushing my teeth and hair, I resume sitting on the edge of the bed once again staring at the door.

Just open it, they know you’re here, they want to talk.

I already feel like an imposter walking out and into their space.

This isn't my room but it's the only place I’ve found some kind of comfort in.

Leaving means I have to start to heal, I have to talk about what the fuck happened.

I close my eyes and take in a deep breath before I reluctantly push off the bed.

I take small silent steps as I grab the doorknob, knowing once I leave there is no going back to the abyss I let myself fall into this past week and a half.

My body and mind are begging me to run back to bed, but my heart knows I need to do this, even if it's broken.

But they needed answers and so did I.

I needed to know why Kameron was in Everton to begin with. Why was he there to be part of the Divine? What did Marcus and Hunter have to do with it? Why save me ?

I pull open the door and take a small step out into the bright hallway, looking out onto the windows that line the hallways showcasing a small garden area in the center of the house.

The vast windows allow the sun to be the only light source needed at this time of day.

I watch as the wind rustles the few trees in the area, and the shadows dance on the walls and floor as I walk, not wanting to cause a commotion.

It’s not long before I hear footsteps accompanied by familiar voices around the other end of the hallway.

I tip-toe and peek around the wall that I now see leads to an open kitchen and living area.

I watch as Hunter takes a seat at the island in the middle of the kitchen and Marcus reaches into a cabinet, their backs to me as I move to stand fully in view.

I pull my arms to my chest, nervous to be in their presence in their home.

I clear my throat not wanting to startle them but to let myself be known.

Hunter's head snaps around, eyes landing on me immediately and I see Marcus turn my way, but he quickly resumes whatever task he was doing before.

"Morning." He says with a slight nod, along with a faint smile on his lips. "Come sit." He says as he pats the stool next to him. I let out a small breath and go to join him. "We were just going to have some breakfast. Perfect timing."

"I don't want to intrude." I reply as I lift myself onto the cushioned stool.

"Nonsense. You just saved Marcus the trip down the hall. Coffee?" He talks to me like we’ve done this regularly. How can he be so calm when my anxiety is climbing by the second ?

"Sure, thanks."

Hunter stands from his stool and walks around to where Marcus is grabbing a mug from the line of hooks under the cabinet next to a full coffee pot. Marcus pours into the two mugs in front of him first, then turns to Hunter and pours mine.

"Creamer? Sugar?" Marcus asks this time, not looking up at me.

"Creamer is fine."

He doesn't say a thing as he pours before he goes and does the same to the other two. The way they work together is effortless, they don’t even have to ask for help as they flow together, anticipating each other's needs.

Hunter grabs a small spoon but Marcus reaches it first, placing it in the mug for him. Hunter stirs the mug before walking back, placing the mug in front of me.

How are they so in tune with each other?

"Thank you, both of you." I say, taking the coffee in my hands and letting the smell calm my nerves. Marcus grabs the two mugs he’s working on and turns towards us, making his way to the other side of the island.

Handing the black coffee to Hunter and taking a sip of the one with creamer.

His eyes glance briefly over the rim of his cup before he returns with three full plates of something that admittedly looks delicious.

"Alright, let's eat then we can talk." Hunter says, clapping his hands together before diving into his food. I pick up my fork, taking a small bite of sausage and my stomach growls even louder. I feel eyes on me and I look up to see Marcus staring at me as he rips into his piece of bacon.

I knew I’d have to tell them everything, the dirty and gross parts included.

Just thinking about it made my skin crawl.

Here. We. Go.