Page 9 of Her Lion of a Duke (Dukes & Beasts #3)

Beatrice was uncertain of how to feel as the only unmarried lady of their group.

She was happy for her friends, of course, especially Cecilia. She knew that her friend had been vehemently against marriage, but she had always seen through it.

It was all an act; it had always been. One that meant it was because of her own choices that she was not wanted by gentlemen, not because she was unappealing.

In truth, Beatrice had always envied her friend. Cecilia was a beautiful lady who did not have to try to be seen. Gentlemen had always been drawn to her, and she had cast them aside, disinterested.

That was not how it had been for Beatrice; she was shorter, rounder, and easy to ignore when next to someone like her friend.

“They seem happy,” Dorothy commented while Cecilia and her husband were speaking in another room for a moment. “They certainly seemed well-liked in the village earlier.”

“Indeed, and Cecilia seemed surprised by that,” Clara chimed in. “I did not doubt her for a moment, but I wonder why she doubts herself.”

“Well, it is not as though she has ever wanted any of this,” Beatrice commented. “It is no surprise to me that she is bewildered by her popularity. I can only hope that she comes to trust it in time.”

“As do I,” Clara said gently. “I love my cousin, but she has never wanted any of this. I hope that she has not only married for my sake. I know that my reputation could have been affected, but it is my debut. There are plenty of spinsters whose cousins find good matches of their own. Sisters even. I would have been fine.”

“Cecilia knows what she is doing,” Emma said firmly.

“She would not do something she did not want to, and her husband agrees with me about that. From what I know, Leonard needed a wife. Cecilia would eventually need the security a husband provides, and as they were friends, it made sense. There is nothing more to it.”

Beatrice nodded along, but she knew better than her friend. She knew better than all of them, for she was aware that Cecilia did not need the security provided by a man.

Indeed, Cecilia had been securing her future for years. Beatrice had thought that she had given it up, in favor of caring for Clara, but then her friend had done it once again.

“If you’ll excuse me,” she said suddenly, rising from her seat.

“Are you all right, Bea?” Dorothy asked.

“Yes, of course. I simply—I wish to ask their cook if I might bake something here.”

The ladies chuckled at her. It was the perfect excuse, and one they would not argue with. They never said no to her cakes.

She did not, however, go down to the kitchens. Instead, she went to Cecilia’s rooms, pausing at the door.

It was an invasion of her friend’s privacy, but Beatrice had to know the truth, and she knew that Cecilia would not tell it to her of her own accord.

Steeling herself, she pushed the door open.

It was a beautiful room, luxurious and decorated in blue. It was clear that the room had been decorated long before Cecilia arrived, making it simply good luck that it was something she liked.

Beatrice only admired it for a moment before remembering why she was there. She went to the desk, sifting through papers until she found what she was looking for.

“It is in such times that one has to ask why ladies are considered the fairer sex.

It is ladies who are insidious, who can destroy the lives of others with a mere rumor.

Ladies, you will find, are the ones we should fear, not we gentlemen.

They must be beautiful, intelligent, and perfect, always aware of what is happening around them.

It is why I—perhaps controversially—believe that ladies should be allowed to vote.

I am not only speaking about noblewomen either. I believe that all who live in this country, rich or poor, man or woman, should be granted a say in what happens in our society. It is a radical way of thinking, but you do not read my work for my lack of opinions.

One might say it is due to a lack of education that those who cannot vote should never be able to, but that is plainly and sincerely wrong. Everyone knows what is happening, and it is the poor and the women who feel the country’s status more than anyone.

I would also argue that—”

“What are you doing?”

Beatrice dropped the pamphlet and whirled around to see Cecilia staring at her.

“Beatrice, if you wished to see my room, you merely had to ask. Why are you looking through my things?”

“Why do you have this pamphlet?” Beatrice asked back sharply. “Felix Gray, again? Why do you keep these?”

“That is none of your business, Beatrice. I have told you that I have nothing to do with the man.”

“Perhaps, but you keep far too many things of his for me to believe you. You know that I know, Cecilia. I have heard you at your angriest, and there is no mistaking the two voices.”

“That does not—you do not—”

For once, Cecilia seemed at a loss for words. She had no witty reply, nothing to make Beatrice believe her.

She had been caught.

She walked over to the desk and took the pamphlet, locking it away in a drawer.

“I will not accept your accusation,” she said quietly. “If I admire a gentleman, and perhaps even model my behavior after him at times, then that is for me to decide. There is nothing more to it.”

“Then I will believe you, but you should know that if you are Felix Gray, then I would rather know for certain instead of merely assuming. Granted, I would not know whether to applaud or strangle you, but I would at least know.”

Cecilia fell silent for a moment, and Beatrice wondered if she would at least be given an honest answer.

Suddenly, her friend cleared her throat, not looking her in the eye. “If it were me, you would know for certain by now. Come, we should rejoin the others.”

Beatrice wished that she were more like her friend. She wished that she had a voice. She wished that she were capable of saying exactly what she thought without a care for what came of it.

She wanted to take her friend’s wrist and sit her down, not leaving the room until she knew the truth, but that was simply not who she was. It was easier to let the matter lie and assume that Cecilia had a secret life she did not want to share, but was able to control.

Of all the people who had to keep such a secret, Cecilia was the most capable.

They both tried to pretend that nothing had happened, but Beatrice knew that the others could sense the tension between them. Cecilia looked in her direction, but it was different this time.

It was evident that she was holding back, trying to keep to herself, and Emma noticed it more than anyone. Beatrice was grateful that she had not said anything until nighttime, when they were alone together.

“Did their cook not want your assistance?” Emma asked gently, entering her bedchambers.

“I did not see her in the end,” Beatrice replied sheepishly. “Cecilia saw me, and we… well, it was not a dispute exactly, but it was not pleasant either.”

“Do not worry about it,” Emma murmured, smiling. “You know how Cecilia is. She has opinions. Many, in fact. But just because she defends them ardently does not mean that she dislikes you.”

“But Emma, what if we found out… This is not necessarily the case, but assume she was keeping something from us. What would we do?”

“Well, everyone has secrets, Bea. Cecilia has the right to keep some things for herself, even if it would be better if we knew.”

“But say it was something dangerous, something that would mean we saw her differently. How would you feel about that?”

Emma considered for a moment, leaning on a chair. “I do not think there is anything about Cecilia that would make me see her differently. We have been friends for so long that nothing could affect my opinion of her. She will always be my friend.”

Beatrice nodded, wishing she could divulge more.

She was not as close with Emma as they had only known one another for a year before Emma got married and left London, except for the social season.

However, she knew that Emma and Cecilia were close.

They were most similar, and if Emma said that Cecilia had not changed over the years, then Beatrice had to accept it.

“I know this is not easy for you,” Emma said softly. “I know that you will be out in Society alone now, but we will all be with you. Levi and I will be returning to London after this trip, and we shall ensure that you have company.”

“I am perfectly fine. Besides, I have Clara now, and…” Beatrice trailed off, knowing that she did want to have her friends with her.

Clara was a sweet girl and a good friend, but she would undoubtedly find a match of her own before the year was through, and Beatrice dreaded the thought of being left alone.

“Everything will be all right,” Emma promised. “You and I both know that you will find a husband easily once you try. Cecilia’s marriage was a surprise for us all, but I truly hope that you will take this as a sign that it is time to find your own match.”

“Gentlemen do not like me,” Beatrice whispered. “I am a good friend to them, but they do not think that I would make a good wife.”

“Beatrice Jennings, you are a beautiful young lady who has never spoken out of turn. Not only that, but you make incredible cakes. I can assure you that there is a gentleman in London searching for that, but you will never know because you are unwilling to speak to anyone. If I have to spend the entirety of my time in London forcing you to try, then so be it.”

Beatrice laughed softly, thanking her friend and then subtly hinting that she wished to sleep.

Emma did not argue, leaving her alone, and Beatrice lay in her bed, staring up at the ceiling.

She wished that she could simply enjoy her visit, but it was a constant reminder that she had fallen behind.

Though her friends supported her, she knew that a time would come when they would have no choice but to leave her behind.

The following morning, she passed Cecilia in the hallway on her way to breakfast and lowered her head, looking at the floor.

“I wanted to apologize,” Cecilia offered, drawing her to a halt. “I should not have spoken to you so harshly yesterday. I understand that you have questions, and I suppose I did not give you much choice about finding the answers by yourself.”

“It is all right. I should not have gone into your room. Yesterday did not have anything to do with you and everything to do with me. If you are telling me that you are not keeping anything from me, then I will believe you.”

Cecilia smiled, linking arms with her, and they went to breakfast together as though nothing had happened. Beatrice simply hoped that her friend was being honest.