Page 12 of Her Lion of a Duke (Dukes & Beasts #3)
Leonard had not only protected Cecilia at the picnic, but he had also claimed her.
She was exhausted upon their return. The day had caught up to her mere moments before they left. It had been a long afternoon, one that had been tense at the beginning, before it improved.
When she woke up the following morning, she pieced it all together. The ladies were gossiping about her. She hated it, but then…
But then Leonard came to her defense.
She was dressed for the day and then met him in the breakfast room. She sat beside him, finding that she was far hungrier than usual.
“I do hope that young lady was not scolded too harshly by her husband,” she said absentmindedly. “We have all said things that we did not mean.”
“We could hear her, Cecilia. We know that she meant it. That is why her husband spoke with her; he knew that I had heard too. It was a warning.”
“Even so, I would not have wanted her to be treated cruelly. Not every husband is good and kind like you. Some are evil.”
“Believe me, I know that all too well.”
Cecilia lowered her fork, raising an eyebrow at him.
“My grandfather,” he said bluntly. “He was not a good husband to my grandmother. She lived in misery for a long time.”
“That is awful,” she gasped, her fingers rising to her lower lip.
“It ended well enough. He died when she was still young, as there was an age gap between them, so she lived without him for a good chunk of her life. She never remarried, but she had a very good friend who visited her often. He kept her company.”
“That is good, at least. Even so, that is not so dissimilar to Lady Cressida and her husband, and I would rather not make things worse for her, should that be the case.”
“If she is in such a precarious situation, she should know better than to speak so poorly of a duchess. Such behavior can only bring shame, and if that is what happens to her, then so be it. I do not need to feel sympathy for her. Or rather, I do not need to feel more than I do for my wife.”
Cecilia smiled at him sheepishly.
He did not mean to sound cruel, and she knew that. He was merely defending her, and she had not known that she needed that until it happened.
Other than her friends, Cecilia had always had to defend herself, and though she took pride in how she handled matters, it was a relief to know that she was no longer alone.
“What do you plan to do today?” she asked.
Leonard sat back in his seat. “I planned to walk for a while and then do some work in my study. But it is a beautiful day, and I would rather not spend it alone. That is an invitation for you to join me, if you are wondering.”
Cecilia knew that heat was rising in her cheeks, but she ignored it. She liked the effect he had on her, even though she was also hoping that he would not notice.
He did not need to know that his friend was thinking of him that way, even if that friend was his wife. She was falling for him, but that was her secret, and it was nice to have something for herself among the gossip.
That was why she did not tell him about her feelings. Or so she told herself.
“I would love to join you. Might we ride the horses?”
Leonard nodded, and when they had finished eating, they left to prepare for their outing.
It had been a long time since Cecilia had ridden a horse, but it was something she had excelled at. She wondered, as her boots were being laced, if that was why she had suggested it to begin with. To impress Leonard. But then she shook the thought out of her mind.
She never tried to impress anyone, and she was not going to start simply because she liked her husband.
They had only just reached the stables when the rain started falling.
It was light at first, the droplets sticking to Cecilia’s updo and leaving spots on her attire.
She hardly noticed it and remained standing outside.
Then, it grew heavier. The spots became patches, and her hair became soaked.
Leonard, who had been standing inside the stables, called out to her, laughing incredulously.
She followed him into the stables, stroking the horses’ manes and looking out at the gardens. The sky darkened, the clouds turning a menacing gray.
“Perhaps we could wait until the rain stops?” Leonard suggested.
“That might be best, although I do not know when that will be. Shall we return home?”
“Better to wait until it eases up. It may not be far to the house, but I don’t want to risk you catching a cold.”
Cecilia nodded reluctantly, knowing that it was most unlikely that such a short walk would make her fall ill, but grateful that he valued her health.
They remained in the stables for a moment, waiting for the rain to cease.
Suddenly, thunder boomed overhead, and the rain grew heavier. They watched as it poured, and she giggled at their predicament.
It was then that she noticed the folly nearby. Without thinking, she took his hand and pulled him out into the downpour, yelping from the cold.
“Cecilia, what are you—”
“Come with me!” she called, and he obliged.
They reached the folly quickly and hid inside. It was sturdier than the stables, and they were able to crouch down against the walls to block the wind. They laughed breathlessly, listening as it whistled above them.
“Did you ever want to be a duke?” she asked.
She did not know why she was asking him, but it felt like the right time. She had always wondered if men wanted their roles to be any more than those of the ladies they married, and Leonard was the best person to ask.
His face hardened for a moment, but then he sighed, softening again. Cecilia realized that they were still holding hands, and he did not release hers.
“To this day, I do not know,” he confessed. “I do not know what I wanted. Sometimes, as a boy, I would watch my father do these great things, and I would allow myself to think about the sort of duke I would be, but I would always stop myself.”
“Why? Weren’t you allowed to have dreams as a boy?”
“It was only a thought, never a dream. Besides, I always knew that it would be Henry who would become the Duke of Pridefield. He would marry and produce an heir, and I would have nothing to do with any of it. I was the spare, so to speak, in case the worst happened. Which I suppose it did.”
She gently squeezed his hand, unsure what to say, given the circumstances of his brother’s death.
“As a man, I envied him greatly,” he continued. “I thought it was unfair that he was given the responsibility and the reward, while I was given the scraps. I was aimless, having no purpose beyond being the brother Society overlooked. I was not important, and I so badly wanted to be.”
“And now you are.”
“And now I am,” he agreed, staring at nothing in particular. “I realized quite quickly that I did not want it. It was selfish of me to envy Henry the way I did. I should have enjoyed my freedom when I had it, rather than wanting more.”
“Is that to say that you do not want any of this?”
“Well, over the past years, I have found the good in it. I have a reason for being now, and I am good at what I do. My new duties also distracted me a good deal after I lost Henry. He was the last remaining member of my family, so when he died, I was left alone. I had friends, yourself included, but…”
“But it is not the same as family,” she finished for him. “I know how you feel.”
“I meant to ask you about that. You were staying with your aunt this Season. Did something happen to your parents?”
Cecilia laughed sadly, shaking her head. Raindrops flew from her hair, which had slipped from its updo.
“They are well, from what I know. They simply did not want to accompany me to London this year. There was no anger, only boredom. They decided that I, as always, had no intentions of finding a husband, so they did not see the purpose of leaving their beautiful country home for the Season.”
Leonard’s eyebrow rose in surprise. “But they always seemed so supportive of you.”
“They are, but that does not mean they wish to suffer the gossip. My aunt offered to sponsor me so that they could continue enjoying their time. They never liked London very much, so they were all too happy to accept the proposal.”
“Then why didn’t they attend our wedding?”
For once, Cecilia did not know what to say. Their engagement had been rushed, so they didn't have time to send an invitation and have her parents arrive in time. However, it was true that she had yet to tell them about her marriage.
“There would not have been time,” she explained. “I am uncertain as to whether or not they know I am married at all, though I assume my aunt will have told them.”
“Why have you kept it from them? Surely they would be overjoyed!”
“They may well be, but they made their decision. They wanted no part in this Season, so if they miss anything, that is their decision.”
“I thought that it was a pleasant agreement?”
Cecilia stiffened, remembering what had actually taken place. It was the only time she had been summoned to her father’s study, and she had not liked it at all.
“It was an agreement, and the conversation was not unpleasant. Even so, I-I left the room and sat by myself for a while, and I could not help but think that I had done something terribly wrong and that I deserved to be sent away.”
A bolt of lightning flashed through the sky, and she yelped, falling into Leonard. He wrapped his arm around her, heavy but comforting, and she leaned against him.
“I know your father. He would not have done anything if he did not think it would be good for you. I should have contacted him to ask for permission, but given the circumstances, propriety had to wait. Should I write to him, do you think?”
“It is an honorable idea, but no. It would only make him wonder why I could not do it myself. I shall write to him myself once we return home. If we ever do, that is.”
Just as he had done before, Leonard draped his coat over her shoulders. It was a familiar feeling, and it brought even more comfort to her than the first time.
They were on their estate now, away from prying eyes and listening ears. She could be herself, and that was the one thing she had always wanted.
“Families can be difficult,” Leonard said gently after a while. “That is why, should you have any reservations, I will not force you to bear children. I know it is expected of us, but if it is something that you would rather avoid, I can be amenable.”
Cecilia considered that for a moment. Children were not something she had ever mulled over, and she had not spent very much time with them in general. They were perfectly fine, but also a commitment, and though it was indeed an expectation, she did not know if she could fulfill it.
“I shall think on the matter,” she replied, looking ahead. “I have never expected any of that.”
“That is perfectly fine. You may take all the time you need.”
They sat in silence for a while. Cecilia wished she could have given him a better answer. She wished she could have told him what he wanted to hear. For a fleeting moment, she wondered if she would have preferred for him to simply tell her what they would do, for she did not want to disappoint him.
Eventually, the storm cleared, and Leonard rose to his feet, pulling her up with him.
“Would you still like to ride the horses?” he asked.
“Perhaps another time.” She smiled and turned to go back to the house before he could say anything further.