Page 10 of Her Lion of a Duke (Dukes & Beasts #3)
When Cecilia’s friends returned home, she felt an immense guilt that was impossible to ignore.
She hoped that she had been a good host and that they had all enjoyed their time at the manor, but she was also quite aware that the Season was drawing to a close, meaning that she had spent a week away from her friend and cousin.
She shuddered at the thought and discussed it with Leonard as they ate their lunch.
“They would not have visited if they did not have the time,” he reasoned. “They would not have been permitted. Besides, being associated with a duke will only improve their prospects. Believe me, you have nothing to worry about.”
Cecilia nodded, smiling as she took a loaf of bread and tore it into pieces, but she did not believe him.
It was difficult to, when she knew the truth. Beatrice had difficulty speaking to people, and though Emma and her husband would be there to chaperone her, there was only so much they could do.
If Cecilia were still there, she would have forced her friend’s hand, so that she would realize that there was nothing to be afraid of and enjoy herself at last.
“I hope that they enjoy the rest of their time,” she said quietly. “I suppose I had always thought that I would be the one left, and that I would be the one to find them matches. I feel rather useless, looking back, because I had no hand in any marriages at all.”
“That is to say that your friends have turned out to be capable of doing it themselves? You ought to be proud of them for that.”
“I am, but I—”
“Cecilia,” Leonard interrupted gently, “I know that you want to secure their futures, but you can only do your best. Whether they marry or not has little to do with you, in the same way our marriage has very little to do with them. I know that your life has been centered on your friendships, but that will inevitably change. It is not a death sentence, only an opportunity for you all to grow and change. Your love for them will always remain.”
Cecilia was grateful that her husband knew better than anyone how to comfort her. He was not acting as though she were fragile, but he also knew not to make her feel as though she were under attack. All he did was say how he perceived things, inviting her to listen and either agree or disagree.
Fortunately, she found that she rather agreed with him.
“We have been invited to a ball next week, by the way,” he continued. “It means returning to London for a short while, but I assumed you would be pleased about that. It is to be hosted by the Roseworths. Shall I accept their invitation?”
“Do you know if our friends will attend?”
“I do not know, but I shall assume not. The Roseworths are not the most sociable bunch, so they only invite those they know well.”
Cecilia raised an eyebrow. She did not know the Roseworths at all, and she was rather certain that Leonard did not either.
“I may or may not be influential in Parliament,” he explained. “It would also seem that there will be a number of hopeful politicians in attendance.”
“Ah, so you require a night with your perfect wife?”
“That is not what I said.”
But Cecilia was smiling. She knew what was expected of her, and she was more than happy to play the role.
“I can do battle if you can,” she said playfully.
He grinned at her. “Very well, if you feel ready.”
It was strange to be back in London, with all the eyes on her. Cecilia was rather aware that they were wondering just how she had managed to marry a duke, but she ignored them. All that mattered was that she was happy with her situation.
The ball was to be autumn-themed, as Lady Roseworth liked that season the most, which meant that Cecilia could not wear her favorite color.
Were it any other season, she would have chosen a shade of blue, but she had to choose a yellow, brown, or orange.
With a sigh, she chose a gown of deep red.
It fit well and had layers of yellow and orange in the underskirts, which swished as she twirled in front of the mirror.
It was not what she would have chosen for herself, but it was rather beautiful.
As she descended the staircase, she realized that her husband felt the same. He looked transfixed, and though she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
She had to admit that she rather liked it.
“Are you ready for battle?” she asked with a smile.
He nodded and led her out to the carriage.
Although the Roseworths were selective with those they invited, it was as though they had asked the whole crème de la crème of London, and they had all accepted. Cecilia could hardly name some of them, but she knew they were influential.
A ball was an opportunity to dress in one’s finest clothes, and the opulence there was unlike anything she had ever seen, all in shades of orange and red and gold.
For the first time in her life, she felt intimidated.
“You are the Duchess of Pridefield,” Leonard mumbled to her. “Do not forget that.”
She straightened up, prepared to act as she needed to. She smiled, she greeted, she curtseyed, and it seemed as though it was working very well.
“Lady Kensington,” Leonard greeted loudly, so that she could learn the woman’s name. “It is wonderful to see you. You do not make an appearance most often.”
Lady Kensington was a small, thin woman, older than Cecilia by more than a few years. She came in with a small group of older ladies, each one wide-eyed at the sight of them.
“I tend only to appear in places I deem worthy,” she joked, turning to Cecilia. “Congratulations, dear. You have secured a wonderful match.”
“Thank you—” Cecilia began.
“The congratulations ought to be given to me,” Leonard said brightly, cutting her off, “for I have the most incredible wife. She has already done so much for the village, as well as the manor. I do not know how I ever managed without her.”
Cecilia kept her smile in place, but she was uncertain as to why he had said such things about her.
She had not changed the manor at all, and they had agreed that it was better that way.
She thought that he was proud of her, or at least she was trying to believe it, but it was difficult when he had to invent reasons as to why he could be.
Each person they encountered was nice to her, congratulating them both on their marriage.
But as soon as she turned her back, gossip erupted.
“Can you believe it?” Lady Kensington gasped as they walked past a short while later. “I have nothing against the girl, but from what I know, she was a mere bluestocking. She did not want to marry at all.”
“Yes, well,” one of her friends snorted, “we all know how quickly such things can change. Besides, their engagement was far shorter than any other I have seen, and we all know what that means.”
Scandal.
Cecilia’s hand tightened on Leonard’s arm, and she noticed that he had also bristled at the comments.
“Do not say a word,” he murmured. “Do not give them the satisfaction.”
“Do not bring shame upon ourselves, you mean,” she whispered.
“That is another reason, yes. Besides, they have nothing to do with us. Speaking of which, it appears that the music is to begin soon. We should dance. There will be talk if we do not.”
Cecilia glanced over at the orchestra, which was preparing to start, and panicked.
She did not dance. She was not too fond of it, even if she was quite accomplished.
It was not something anyone had seen her do, and she did not want to dance in front of the most pompous members of the ton.
Even if she had not made a mistake, she knew they would find fault. It was what they were looking for.
And yet, when the music began, Leonard held his hand out to her, and she took it without a word. She followed him to the dance floor, her fingers trembling.
The slight touch that they shared was excruciating.
His hand was resting on her waist, but it felt as though it was burning through her gown and into her skin.
Their hands touched gently, and Cecilia told herself that she was only focusing on that to distract herself from the fact that she was dancing in front of strangers who thought the worst of her.
She cast a glance at them, but then she felt Leonard’s fingers press into her skin.
“Do not look at them,” he urged. “Look only at me. Do not give them the satisfaction of believing that their words have affected you.”
Cecilia knew how to do that. It was all she had ever done, and she could do it there, too. She had never cared what people thought of her before, and yet…
And yet, she cared about her new title and wanted to be respected. She no longer wanted to be the little bluestocking they could all pass judgment on. She wanted to be a brilliant duchess whom they all wished to emulate.
She followed Leonard’s instruction and looked into his eyes.
For the first time, she saw something more than a friend looking back at her. He was her husband, of course, but she was starting to see him in that light. She liked him, and for the first time in her life, she found herself wanting him to feel the same way.
She wanted him to tell her that he was proud of her, that she was a good wife.
The dance came to an end, and when Leonard removed his hand, she felt its absence acutely.
The rest of the evening was easier than she had expected. She had never been one to lie to anyone’s face, but she played the part well. There was not a single person there who was aware that she had heard what they said about her, except for Leonard.
On the way home, they sat in silence until he cleared his throat.
“You did very well,” he praised.
“Oh, I… thank you.”
“You should know that what they said about you was incorrect. We know how our marriage came to be, and while it was to protect reputations, it was not as though there was a scandal. They do not know you; do not let them win.”
“It is not as though they were saying anything false,” she pointed out. “There is not very much about me to be pleased with.”
“That is not true.”
“Then why did you lie?”
Leonard shifted in his seat, avoiding her gaze. “I do not know what you mean.”
“You said that I have changed the village and the manor for the better. I have not changed anything. If you were truly proud of me, you would have been able to give real examples.”
“That is precisely what I did,” he argued.
“You may not think that you have made a difference, but you have. A house is more than its decoration. Our servants smile now, and they seem to truly enjoy themselves in a way they did not before. Mrs. Herrington tells me that you have made her life easier in a way she has never expected.”
As he finished, the carriage rolled to a stop in front of the townhouse. Cecilia, who was quite convinced that she had turned scarlet, muttered a quick thanks and ran inside.
“I wanted to tell you,” Leonard called after her as she ascended the stairs. “Your gown tonight was beautiful. You looked wonderful.”
She smiled helplessly, thanked him again, and then left him standing there.