Page 15 of Her Lion of a Duke (Dukes & Beasts #3)

Leonard told himself that he had done the right thing.

He had felt awful for ignoring Cecilia, even worse for telling her what he did, but it had to be done.

He could not allow her to get too close to him, not when he was the beast he was.

He had not even told her that an investigation was underway, one that he had not ruled her out of despite everything.

Simply put, he did not trust anyone, including her. He could not, for there was someone in Society who had an awful lot to say about him and had tried to ruin him, which he could not accept, but it had to be someone with a reason.

He had not wanted to continue the investigation, but he had no other choice. He had to find Felix Gray and exact his vengeance.

It was that side of him that he hoped never to reveal to his wife, and keeping her at a distance was the only way to ensure that. All the same, he did not have to be so cruel.

The day after, he saw her in the library. She was sitting up and holding a book. He stood in the doorway long enough for her to turn the page, and when she did not, he realized that she was not reading it.

He considered leaving her be, but he could not. Despite everything, she was still his friend, and though he wanted to keep her at arm’s length, he did not want her to be upset. So he joined her.

She grumbled softly when he entered.

“Might I have a work?” he asked. She set down the book and looked at him expectantly. “I wanted to apologize for yesterday.”

“There is no need, Your Grace. Apologies are never needed for telling the truth.”

“Cecilia, I should not have said what I said. Of course, you are my wife. We exchanged vows, and you should know that I have every intention of keeping them.”

“I truly had hope that you would,” she muttered.

“What do you mean? I have done exactly that.”

“If that is what you are telling me, then I shall believe it, but I am not a fool. I know where gentlemen go when they disappear at night.”

The accusation stung, and he felt as though she had risen from her seat and slapped him across the face.

“Do you truly think so little of me?”

“I do not know what to think. I want to trust you—believe me, I do—but it is difficult when you push me away so easily.”

He nodded in resignation, sitting across from her and pushing the book away.

“I was at Hyde Park,” he revealed. “I did go to White’s, but I realized rather soon after my arrival that I no longer wished to associate myself with the men there. They are not the best company.”

“They were once. What has changed?”

“I have. I am no longer a young bachelor, but a husband. I have a family to care for now, and you are right. I should not push you away and run at the first opportunity. It was wrong of me.”

“What did you do at Hyde Park?”

“I sat on a bench. I thought for a while about my actions and what I was supposed to do with our marriage. I thought that I had frightened you with talk of children.”

“Not at all,” she assured him, a faint smile tugging at her lips. “It was an unexpected subject, and one that I still do not have an answer for, but it did not frighten me. Nothing scares me, Leonard. You know that.”

He chuckled as she bared her teeth mockingly.

Cecilia was, when she wished to be, a frightening woman, and he had little doubt that anything could frighten her at all.

“I should have come home,” he sighed.

“You should have. You should have come to me, so that we could discuss things properly, like any married couple should. I know that you do not think this is a real marriage, but we should at least pretend that it is. It would make such conflicts easier.”

“Cecilia, I have already told you I regret saying that to you. I do see you as my wife, and I hope that you see me as your husband.”

She hummed in thought, but she was smiling.

“If my husband were to woo me, perhaps I could be swayed on the matter.”

“And how should I woo you?”

“A thousand red roses, the most expensive desserts, and fifty-four luxurious gowns.”

“Are those your demands?”

“Of course not.” She laughed brightly. “If anything, I would rather we traveled somewhere—a real honeymoon. I know that you are busy and that we must remain in London a short while longer, but when we leave, it might be good for us to go somewhere new.”

“Then that is precisely what we shall do. I have a globe in my study. I shall spin it, and all you need to do is place your fingertip on it to make it stop. Wherever it lands, that is where we shall go.”

He adored the way her face brightened at his words.

It was nice to go back to the way things were and to know that they had successfully resolved their first dispute. It was always going to be the worst, but at least it was done with. They would be more prepared next time, and he would know not to run.

They left the library together, taking tea before Leonard had to meet with the private investigator. When Cecilia asked him who he was going to see, he hesitated.

He did not want to lie to her, but he had to for a short while longer. The investigation was to remain confidential until he knew for certain who had been trying to ruin him, and that meant concealing it from his wife.

He hated that he had to do it, but he hoped that she would understand.

“I am going to see a tenant,” he lied. “He is facing issues with his land, and I have agreed to visit him and assess the situation.”

“Would you like me to accompany you?”

“No, do not trouble yourself. I will not be long.”

She accepted his excuse easily, and he felt like a villain.

He found Mr. Livingston waiting for him in the cake shop in the village. He sat across from him, wringing his hands in anticipation.

“I must admit, Your Grace,” Mr. Livingston began, “I was not expecting you to tell me to resume the investigation so soon. I thought you were enjoying your honeymoon.”

“I wished to enjoy my honeymoon. Now that it is over, I can return my attention to this. It is important to me, as you know.”

“Indeed, which is why I hope that today will ease your concerns somewhat.” He lowered his voice, leaning in slightly. “I do not have a name yet, but I can tell you that the letters do indeed match the style of known political pamphleteer Mr. Felix Gray.”

“My assumption was correct, then,” Leonard grumbled. “What that has to do with my brother, though, I do not know.”

“It could be anything, but I assure you that I will find out. Regardless, I believe that Felix Gray is a gentleman hiding behind radical language. That has always been the theory about him, for nobody has ever known a real man with that name. But so far, no one knows who he really is.”

Leonard frowned. He had been hoping for more, something that would give him further clarity, but he knew to be patient. They had only just resumed the investigation, and he could not expect everything to be solved in a matter of days, even if that was what he wanted more than anything.

“Believe me, Your Grace, this will be done with soon enough. I have been comparing the pamphlets with other works by publishers, and once I have found a match, I shall speak with them.”

“I know that you are doing everything you can,” Leonard sighed, forcing a smile, “and I am most grateful for it. Are you quite certain that there is nothing more I can do to aid you in your endeavors?”

“Unless you can become an investigator and track him down yourself, I do not believe so.”

Leonard admitted defeat at that point. It was difficult not to have complete control, but he had to trust the man he had allowed to take charge. He reminded him again to maintain complete discretion and then left the shop.

He wished he could have been in charge of the investigation and had the time and resources to handle matters himself, but he did not. Instead, he had a wife waiting for him at home, and he did not wish to be gone for hours, having her ask more questions that he could not answer.

When he returned, he found her sitting in the parlor, sipping tea with their housekeeper.

“You were not long.”

“It was an easier issue than I thought,” he explained. “He had not been changing his crops each year, so there were issues arising from that. It should all be well now, and I have made sure that they will be taken care of in the meantime.”

“Wonderful. Of course, I knew you would be capable of handling matters yourself. I simply wanted to join you because I enjoy your company.”

“And I very much enjoy yours. That is why I would prefer for you to be well rested while I handle matters.”

Cecilia smiled softly and put down her teacup. “I ought to dress for dinner,” she said quickly, leaving the room.

Leonard looked at Mrs. Herrington, who was not smiling at him. She was frowning, her brow furrowed as if accusing him of something.

“What is it?”

“You know exactly what it is, Your Grace. Why are you lying to her?”

“I am not.”

“I have known you all your life. I know when you are being dishonest. Besides, I know perfectly well that there have been no issues with tenants. Where were you today?”

“I do not like your tone.”

“And I do not like that you have disappeared twice without a good explanation. You know what that makes you look like, and I will not stand for it.”

“Are you accusing me of dallying with another lady?”

“Of course not, but it is how it seems. I do not want Her Grace to be hurt, not when she has been good to you. This will stay between us, as does every discussion we have, but for my own peace of mind, I must know where you were.”

With nothing more to say, Leonard explained everything. Every so often, he would check that Cecilia had not yet returned, and each time he did, Mrs. Herrington would glare at him.

“Your wife deserves to know,” she said bluntly when he had finished. “If there is someone looking into your lives, she should be aware of it.”

“She… she cannot yet.”

“Your Grace, you do not mean—”

“She is not a suspect! Well, not one that I am looking into, at least. It could be anyone, which is exactly why I cannot tell her yet. Once I know for certain, I will tell her everything.”

“And you assume that she will be pleased to know that you withheld such important information from her? I would be furious.”

“She understands me. She will not be pleased, but she will not be angry either. I have no other choice.”

But Leonard knew when he had disappointed Mrs. Herrington. She looked at him sadly, like a disappointed mother, and left him alone in the room.

If he was doing the right thing, why did he feel so awful about it?