Page 20 of Her Lion of a Duke (Dukes & Beasts #3)
The remainder of Lord Renshaw’s visit passed by without much trouble.
Cecilia found him easier to handle as time went on. Or rather, she found it easier to ignore his comments. It helped that Leonard did not leave her alone with him again and that he insisted they fill their days with activities so that there was little time for idle chat.
If anything, she noted that Leonard was trying to keep his cousin away from her.
“Would you like to visit Emma today?” he suggested at breakfast the day Lord Renshaw was set to leave. “It has been a while since you last saw one another.”
“I could pay her a visit. Why do you ask?”
They were eating alone together, and he was speaking in a hushed tone that suggested he did not want to be overheard.
“I wish to speak with my cousin, and I want to do so alone.”
“I see. Have I done something wrong?”
“Not at all. I will explain once he is gone. In the meantime, it would be best if you find something to occupy yourself with.”
Cecilia agreed without questioning him any further. She had always trusted him, but since they got married, her trust in him had only grown stronger.
He had never led her astray before, and so even though she was confused, she did not feel the need to argue. Besides, there was something she had been meaning to do.
She had received a letter from her parents, but she had not yet opened it.
She knew that she would not find anything unkind, but that only made her feel more guilty.
She had ignored them for too long, and they did not deserve it, even though they had sent her away to avoid handling her during the social season.
After her meal, she sat at her desk, holding the sealed letter with trembling hands. The thought of reading it frightened her more than it should have, but she had to do it.
Trying not to think too much about it, she tore it open and read it.
My dearest Cecilia,
Cecilia Kingsman. I cannot believe it. It has always been my hope that you would find a gentleman who loved you for who you are, but I had never once considered that you would find that in the Duke of Pridefield.
You know how your father and I have always been fond of him, but he never seemed the marrying sort.
Then again, I suppose you were not either.
I wish that we had known about your wedding. I would have loved to see you in your wedding gown, but your aunt has explained that there would not have been enough time for us to arrive, and we are to blame for that.
We never should have sent you away to London, not when you needed us. I will never forgive myself for that, especially knowing that I missed your biggest moment.
You are more than welcome to visit us anytime.
You know where we are. His Grace may come too, though we have never lived with the means of a duke.
I hope that you are settling into your role well, but you can tell me all about it when I next see you.
I am so proud of you, Cecilia. I always have been.
With love,
Mama.
Cecilia felt a tear roll down her cheek. It was a brief letter, but it conveyed everything she needed to hear.
Her parents were not angry with her, and there had been no mention of her not writing to them. They were proud of her—the one thing she had never expected.
Her mind was made up. She would have to visit Emma another time.
“I will be away for a few days,” she told Leonard when she saw him. “Will you be all right with your cousin?”
“He leaves this evening. I am certain that I can handle his behavior until then. Are you going to stay with the Luptons?”
“No, I am going to stay with the Puntons,” she replied, smiling softly.
Leonard’s eyes widened, and he grinned at her. “You have read your parents’ letter at last?”
“Indeed. They say that we may visit them whenever we please. I am going to leave very soon. I have so much to tell them, and with everything that has happened, I think it might be best to stay for a short while.”
“As do I,” he agreed. “I will join you once my business is concluded here. Will tomorrow do?”
“You need not come straight away. If you need some time alone after your cousin’s visit—”
“If anything, I will appreciate the time away. Shall I leave Brutus here?”
“He is more than welcome to come with you,” she assured him. “Besides, he has been a good companion. I would not like to be away from him for too long, if I can help it.”
He smiled warmly at her. “Very well. I will see you tomorrow, then.”
Cecilia did not see him for the rest of the day, as he took Lord Renshaw out to shoot while she prepared to leave.
It felt impolite to leave without saying goodbye to his cousin, but she did not mind too terribly. It meant that she did not have to see him again, and she was rather pleased about that.
Lord Renshaw had not been too condescending, nor mean-spirited, but something about him made her uncomfortable, and she was pleased to be away from him.
It would be strange to be with her family again, but Cecilia was optimistic. They loved her, and she loved them, and despite everything that had happened, they would be all right. It would be even easier once Leonard arrived, for they had always liked him.
Even so, when her carriage rolled to a halt outside her parents’ house, her heart rate quickened.
It had been a few months since she had last seen them, but memories of their last conversation came flooding back. The shame, the resentment she felt, all of it made her feel ill at ease, even if their letters had been kind.
Her father greeted her in the drawing room, his eyes wide.
“My dear girl!” He embraced her. “I cannot believe that you are home.”
“It is good to see you, Father,” she replied. “Is Mother here?”
“She is in town with some friends. Did she know that you were coming?”
“No, nobody did.” She laughed nervously. “I hope that I am not intruding.”
“You never could. Come, let us have tea, and we can wait for your mother. She would hate it if we discussed anything without her.”
It was the frosty reception Cecilia had expected. It was as though nothing had happened, and they were simply a father and daughter having tea together like they used to.
“It has been so quiet without you,” her father said as she passed him a slice of cake. “We so missed the chaos you bring.”
“Well, the chaos has returned for a few days, if you will have me.”
“As if we could ever turn you away.”
She smiled, but the words sounded wrong. Regardless, she poured him another cup of tea, and they settled into conversation.
“My husband will arrive tomorrow,” she explained. “His cousin has been visiting, and he should be leaving this evening.”
“Why did you come separately?” her father asked. “No trouble in paradise, I hope.”
“None at all. His cousin is a strange man, and Leonard did not want me to spend more time with him than necessary. So I decided that it was time to visit you.”
“I am pleased that you came to such a decision. I wish we could have seen you sooner, but…” he trailed off.
Cecilia tried to think of something else to say. Her father clearly did not want to talk about what had happened any more than she did, and she was grateful for that.
When her mother returned, she burst into tears.
“My dear!” she cried, pressing a damp cheek into her hair. “You are home. I cannot believe my eyes!”
“I can find your eyeglasses for you, if you wish,” Cecilia joked.
Her parents sat beside one another, and at last she studied their faces properly.
She had her mother’s blonde hair and her father’s blue eyes, but in the few months she had been away, they had aged considerably. There were faint lines in their skin that she could swear were not there when she left. Or perhaps she had simply never noticed.
“How have you been?” her mother asked. “Marriage seems to be treating you well, for you look lovely.”
“It certainly is. I had not been expecting to enjoy my new life as a duchess, but it has been perfect so far. I enjoy spending time in the village, and I believe that I am already well-liked and respected there.”
“I never would have doubted that,” her father declared proudly. “You have always had a way with people, when you wanted to.”
“It is simply a shame that I hardly ever wanted to, then.” She laughed, and her parents followed suit. “How have you both been doing without me?”
She had asked it uneasily, and her parents seemed uncertain as to how to respond.
“It has been too quiet,” her mother admitted. “It has been your father and me and nothing else. I thought we would appreciate having nothing to do, but it has been exhausting. One day blends into the next, and before I know it, a week has passed and I have nothing to show for it.”
“And, of course, we cannot return to London. Questions would arise as to why we were not with you, and that would not bode well for any of us.”
“Nobody would mind,” Cecilia assured them. “And if they ask, you can say that one of you had been taken ill. They would understand.”
But she knew how the ton was. Rumors would spread no matter the excuses her parents gave. She would have pitied them, but it had been their own decision. They did not want to go to London with her, and now they could not return.
“The Duke of Pridefield,” her mother said wistfully, changing the subject. “I cannot believe it. I know that the two of you were friends, but I did not think that would turn into something more. I should have known better.”
“Believe me, it was not planned. We simply decided that we liked one another, so there was no need to have a long courtship and engagement. We are very happy with the arrangement, and there were very few questions about it.”
“A successful match.” Her father nodded. “I look forward to speaking with him about it tomorrow, as he has always been a good conversationalist.”
“He is looking forward to seeing both of you, too. Although I have to warn you that he will be bringing our dog. Hopefully, you’ll continue to appreciate the chaos I bring.”
“We have been wanting to get a dog for some time now,” her mother admitted. “As a replacement for you, you see. This would be an opportunity to decide if we truly want one.”
“He will certainly help you with that,” Cecilia agreed, thinking about the way Brutus bounded rather than walked into every room. “He does no harm, but he believes he is a much smaller breed.”
Her parents exchanged glances, and then the three of them burst into laughter.
“He is more than welcome,” her mother assured her.
Her father excused himself shortly after, stating that he had contracts to review, leaving them alone together.
Her mother continued to smile, but Cecilia could see the facade slipping.
“We have missed you,” her mother said softly.
“I have missed you, too,” Cecilia replied. “I wanted you to come with me.”
“I wanted to. You know I did. I simply—I could not do it again. I could not bear the stares, feeling like a failure because you did not want to marry.”
“There was no failure on your part, Mother. Nobody blamed you and Father for my wilfulness. I was the only one who was looked at strangely.”
“That is what you think, but it is not true. I heard what they said, Cecilia. It infuriated me because I knew that if you simply tried to do well, you would be married in an instant. You are a beautiful girl, intelligent and talented. I know I am supposed to tell you that as your mother, but it is the truth. I knew that you would secure the perfect match if you tried.”
“And I never did. I know that it made you angry.”
“Frustrated,” her mother corrected. “It was frustrating, watching you turn every suitor away, especially in the way you did. You could have been kinder.”
“I could have, but what would that have achieved? They would have thought that if they simply continued to pester me, I would give in. It was easier to make them hate me.”
“And in turn…”
“Reflect poorly on my family,” she muttered. “I know. I no longer blame you for what happened. It was for the best. Had you not sent me away, I would not have known how dire my situation was. Thanks to your decision, I spoke with Leonard, and we came to an agreement.”
Her mother was quiet for a moment, looking at her neatly folded hands.
“You do not love him, then?” she asked.
“I did not claim to.”
“No, but I… Well, I always assumed that you did. He was the only man you were not rude to.”
“He was the only man who did not warrant my scorn. He has always been respectful to me, so I have reciprocated. It does not mean that we love one another. It means that we thought pragmatically about matters and decided that marriage was for the best.”
She could see the disappointment in her mother’s eyes. Of all the reasons why she had changed her mind about marriage, love was the one her mother was holding out for. She had hoped that Cecilia would find someone who changed her mind, someone she could truly fall for.
Leonard was that man, but Cecilia could not admit that to her. It came with far too much risk.
She hoped that Leonard would arrive sooner rather than later, so that he could make it all easier. She longed for his presence so that he could soothe her the way he always did.
Even if she hated that it happened.