Page 55

Four days later

Noelle hugged Alice and tears burned in her eyes.

“You didn’t have to come,” she told the retired FBI agent.

“I couldn’t stay away,” said Alice, squeezing her tightly.

“You’d been through hell, and we finally have some clarity about what happened all those years ago.

It’s been my white whale, you know. Trying to learn what happened that day in your home when Derrick died.

It was the case I could never solve, and it’s never left me. ”

“Come sit down.” Noelle led Alice to the little table and chairs by the windows in Eve’s home. Noelle had been staying with her sister since Adam’s death. Eve needed the support, and Noelle didn’t want to go back to her house. Savannah’s blood still stained the carpet.

It was good to see Alice. When Noelle was with her, she pushed Noelle to be the best version of herself. She’d always admired Alice’s no-nonsense way of speaking and calm attitude. She’d represented the woman Noelle wanted to be when she grew up.

I think I’m nearly there.

Noelle poured two black cups of coffee and joined Alice in the winter sun streaming through the windows. “How’s Eve?” asked Alice.

“I think she’ll be okay,” said Noelle. “It’s been a nightmare for her, but she’s admitted something was off with Adam for a long time. She ignored it because she loved him, and I believe he truly loved her. Somehow he kept that separate from the other parts of him that did horrible things.”

“Like being a drug dealer,” said Alice.

“I believe so,” said Noelle, staring into her coffee.

“I’m not sure when Adam started supplying Derrick with meth.

Looking back, I feel so stupid that I didn’t see it.

Derrick’s slow slide into irrational behavior.

I was determined to make that marriage work, you know.

I was convinced that I was the problem—Derrick convinced me.

” She gave Alice a wry smile. “So much gaslighting.”

“It started subtle and small,” said Alice, kindly. “It was hard for you to see it was happening.”

“I knew , though,” Noelle said as a familiar anger burned in her chest. “Part of me always knew that he’d changed me. And not for the better.”

“You got through it,” said Alice. “You’re one of the strongest women I know.”

“A lot of it is thanks to you,” said Noelle. “You gave me the guidance I needed. I’m not sure what I’d be doing with my life if you hadn’t guided me toward law enforcement.”

“I can only take part of the credit for that,” said Alice. “Your grandfather was a huge influence.”

“True.” A wave of emptiness hit her.

I miss him so much.

“Did Lucia agree to talk to me?” Alice asked hopefully.

“No.” Noelle grimaced. “Sorry about that. She doesn’t feel up to it, but she told me everything she knew about the day Derrick died.

That was one of the toughest conversations I’ve ever had with her.

We were both bawling. Lucia feels horribly guilty that she hid the truth for so long, and I feel guilty that she went through it.

” Noelle slowly shook her head, meeting Alice’s curious gaze.

“I think she told me the truth. I struggled to accept it, but it lines up with what I’ve finally remembered. ”

“You mentioned you were recalling things,” said Alice.

Noelle sighed. “Turns out I didn’t need to recall certain recent things because they never happened.

Lucia told me that Adam made her enter my house and move things from where I kept them or plant things like Chinese food containers in my fridge.

He even had her move my vehicle one time.

I assume his goal was that I’d never trust my thoughts if I started remembering things about the day Derrick died.

I honestly thought I was losing it, Alice.

When I’d discover something wasn’t where I’d left it, I’d become terrified that my memory was going to shit.

I didn’t tell anyone because I feared I’d lose my job. ”

“That’s horrible,” said Alice. “She’d easily get into your home because she knew the alarm code.”

“Yes,” said Noelle. “I’ve also had weird dreams showing things that I doubt ever happened.

But I think I pieced everything together after talking to Lucia.

” She pressed her lips together and studied the retired agent.

“This is hard for me,” she said. “What will you do with the information I’m about to tell you? ”

Alice tilted her head, assessing Noelle. “Are you saying charges should be filed?”

Noelle looked away, uncomfortable with the woman’s scrutiny. “I don’t want that to happen. But on the other hand, it’s probably the right thing to do.”

“If you don’t tell me,” said Alice in a curious tone, “will charges be filed?”

“No.” Guilt hit her as she said the single word.

Alice considered for a long moment. “Maybe it’s best you don’t say anything.”

I need to tell someone.

She was miserable, sick to her stomach over what she’d learned from Lucia.

“Will anyone be harmed if charges aren’t filed?” Alice asked quietly. “Is anyone in danger?”

“No.”

“Then I’ll take it to the grave.”