Page 27

Three months before Derrick Bell’s murder

“What’s this?” asked Derrick, looking at his laptop.

Noelle was on the couch with a book. It was a rare weekday evening with Derrick at home. They’d enjoyed some Thai takeout with a glass of red wine, and then Derrick had said he had work to do. But instead of going to his office, he’d set up his laptop at the big table in their great room.

Noelle was pleased. There was something comforting about them doing their own things but still being together in the same room.

“What’re you looking at?” she asked, not looking up from her book.

“Your bank account.”

Instant discomfort filled her limbs, and she clenched her book.

Is it money lecture night?

Derrick liked to go through her accounts and question anything that caught his eye. She suspected she knew what had caught his eye this month.

“What do you want to know?” she asked. She stayed on the couch, wanting the buffer of square footage and the table between them.

“Four thousand dollars,” he stated.

“That went to Lucia.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Noelle froze, waiting for him to say more. It didn’t come.

Is he truly okay with me giving money to Lucia?

Or is this one of his games?

She set down her book and turned to look at him. He looked up from his computer. “What?”

“You’re not going to ask what the money was for?”

“She’s a good kid, but I’ll ask if you want me to. What did she need four thousand dollars for?”

“A car. A reliable car. A neighbor was selling one, and we know he takes care of his vehicles. It seemed like good timing. Although she’s not wild about driving a minivan.”

“I agree she should have a car. A minivan will keep her ego in check,” he said with a laugh, and he grinned. “I don’t mean to micromanage,” he said, closing the laptop.

She squinted at him. “What did you do with my husband?”

Something is very wrong.

He leaned back in his chair, looking as if he didn’t have a care in the world. “I know I’ve been uptight lately.”

Lately? How about for years?

The man speaking to her didn’t feel like the one she’d been living with.

This one didn’t mind her giving money to her family and apologized—sort of—for being uptight.

She stood and walked into the kitchen and picked up the wine they’d sampled that night.

She looked at the label and then showed it to him.

“We need to buy a few cases of this,” she said.

He laughed and pulled her onto his lap at the table. “Will do.” He nuzzled her neck and she closed her eyes, his lips tickling her skin.

“It’s a fantastic wine if it makes you not care when I give money to my family.”

He stopped and leaned back so he could see her eyes. “What does that mean?” he asked flatly.

She stiffened. Apparently lighthearted teasing time was over. “Just that we’ve had disagreements in the past when I’ve loaned money to my family.”

“Loaned? You never expected them to pay the money back.”

“Sorry, you’re right. Loaned was the wrong word. I gave them money a few times.”

“And I was nice about it each time,” he pointed out.

She took a breath. “No, you were nice about it in front of them ... like when I gave Eve some money. It was a different story when you reviewed my account later that month.”

It had happened at least three times. He’d acted generous in front of her family, as if they’d jointly decided to give the money, and then he’d been a complete ass about it in private.

It was always my idea.

Although the money had originally come from him. When Noelle quit her job, he’d started giving her a generous allowance each month and had told her she could do with it what she pleased. But for the last year or so, he’d nitpicked her spending and complained when she shared it.

She wanted to share it. Her allowance was ridiculous, and her family was always low on money. Why wouldn’t she help out? Even after she bought the clothes and shoes, had her hair and nails done, made donations and investments, and kept up the home, there was a lot left over.

“Sorry. I thought my comment about the wine was funny,” she said, lowering her gaze.

“Sometimes I think we have completely opposite ideas of what’s funny, Noelle,” he snapped. His lecture tone had taken over, and he lowered his hands, leaving her to balance on his lap.

I pushed too far. I ruined his good mood.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated. “Usually I have to explain—”

“I know we’re opposites in a lot of ways,” Derrick began in a condescending tone that she’d heard too often of late. “That’s why we were attracted to one another.”

A passive-aggressive insult.

Or is it a backhanded compliment?

“You saw us as opposites when we met?” Noelle said softly, not liking the turn this conversation had taken.

“Of course, didn’t you? But I think that was why we clicked.”

“Studies show similar people attract each other, not opposites. Homophily.”

He pushed her off his lap, and she scrambled to stand. “Can’t you just go along with what I was saying, Noelle? We were having a nice moment, and then you spout some psychology crap.”

She stared at him. “Go along with what?”

“We’re opposites!”

“Why are you so insistent on saying that?”

“Because it’s true!” Fury reddened his face, and he stormed out of the room.

What just happened?

She slowly sat back down in his chair and realized he’d created a justification for dating and marrying her. She wondered how many times he’d spouted the opposites-attract theory to his family when they said she wasn’t the right person for him.

“He was embarrassed to be attracted to me,” she said quietly to the glass elephant on the table. She’d thought he didn’t mind that she was a bartender from a poor family, and he came from money. A lot of money. He’d said a hundred times that it didn’t matter. But apparently it did.

Is that why we hardly spend any time together?

Is he still embarrassed?

She’d done everything possible to fit in.

She turned her head to see her hair in the mirror across the room, still missing her platinum blonde.

Catherine had insisted she regularly visit an aesthetician to keep her skin at its best, and Noelle cringed every time she saw the cost. Derrick had requested she have a personal trainer.

She wore the clothes his mother suggested.

Noelle had shown up at events and joined volunteer organizations. She’d quit her job.

Anger flared.

I’ve completely changed my life, and I’m still not good enough for him.

She believed he’d looked past her roots and lifestyle in the beginning, but now she wondered if someone’s constant little voice in his ear was making progress.

She lowered her head to her hands, wondering if that was why his emotions had been all over the place and why they rarely did anything together.

Or he’s seeing someone.

She shut down the niggling thought. Every month Derrick asked if she was pregnant. He wouldn’t do that if he wanted to be with someone else.

Unless the pregnancy hints were coming from his mother.

I bet he thinks our marriage will be solidified by a baby.

It was also a good political look and tool. “Look at the darling addition to the assemblyman’s family! Such good family values.”

Again she was thankful she was taking birth control.