Page 28

Two weeks before Derrick Bell’s murder

Savannah was late. Noelle shifted uncomfortably on the metal chair outside the teahouse and tugged down the hem of her summer dress. It had slid up her thighs as she sat, exposing more leg than she was comfortable with.

Good thing Derrick can’t see it. Or his mother.

Both of them frequently reminded Noelle to be careful about how she looked and acted in public.

It was important to not give his constituents something to complain about.

A month ago someone had snapped a picture of her car in a crowded grocery store parking lot where her right rear tire had been over the yellow parking line.

Social media had shared the photo, calling her selfish and privileged, and complained that she expected the public to work around whatever she wanted to do.

The photo hadn’t shown the other eight cars parked in a row at the same odd angle. She’d either had to park the same way or park across the street.

Derrick had blown up while she explained the situation, snapping at her not to make excuses. Noelle’s mother-in-law had called and laid a guilt trip on her because three of her friends had shown her the photo.

No one cared what Noelle had to say.

She had stopped trying to explain. She’d kept her mouth closed and tuned out Derrick’s threats about driving lessons and selling her car.

The incident had highlighted an issue that had been simmering in Noelle’s brain since she quit her job: she was completely dependent on Derrick.

He could cut off her money at any time. The car was in his name, not hers. Their home was in his parents’ name because Derrick had never bothered to transfer the title. Her credit cards and bank accounts were solely hers, but he had access to all of it.

Noelle suspected he could instantly close all of them.

After one evening’s argument over her clothes, she’d started transferring money in small sums to a different bank, but it was a slow process. Derrick would notice if she transferred large amounts.

Guilt racked her every time she did it.

If he ever finds out ...

But she had to do something. It felt like the same predicament she’d been in when her first marriage ended. She’d had no money when the relationship fell apart. Now she had money, but it could evaporate instantly at Derrick’s whim. And he frequently threatened to make it happen.

At the outdoor table, she leaned forward to check her parking job for the fifth time.

No one can complain that I’m not between the lines.

She hadn’t known parking anxiety was a thing. But now it hit her every time she pulled into a lot. She would adjust her car’s position five times to get it perfectly straight and even. Or she’d park at the empty far end of a lot.

Savannah’s Bronco sped around a corner and swung into a space. She turned it off with both the passenger-side wheels directly on the line.

Noelle tensed.

The lot is three-quarters empty. It’s fine.

Savannah hopped out and strode across the lot, greeted Noelle with a kiss on the cheek, and then flopped into a chair. She took a long drink of the bubble tea Noelle had bought her and sighed. “It’s hot today. I hate summer here.”

“It’s ridiculous,” Noelle said to be agreeable. She’d lived in the area all her life. Hot summers were normal. There was no point in complaining. “Can you get out of town to cool off?”

“Thinking about going to the coast for a week. We’ll see.” Savannah put her elbows on the table and leaned toward Noelle. “What’s up with you? How’s the handsome husband and his crazy mother?”

Three weeks ago, at a spring auction, Savannah had been present for one of Catherine’s catty comments toward Noelle about her sisters.

Savannah had confronted her about it, making Catherine uncomfortable enough to walk away.

Later that night Derrick had told Noelle to keep Savannah away from his mother.

He hadn’t been at the auction, but obviously Catherine had complained.

When Noelle started to tell her husband that Catherine had insulted her sisters, he’d thrown up his hand in a stop position, cutting her off. “You misunderstood her. Let it go.”

Then he hadn’t spoken to her for the rest of the evening.

Clearly he can’t let it go.

“Derrick is fine,” she told Savannah. “I haven’t heard from his mother this week.”

“Small mercies.”

“I’m sure I will at some point.”

Savannah leaned closer, her gaze studying Noelle. “You look like crap.”

Noelle pulled back. “Thank you?”

“Seriously. You’ve got purple bags under your eyes, and your arms look like sticks. Is the monster-in-law starving you?”

Noelle looked at her arms, wishing she hadn’t worn a sleeveless dress. “I haven’t been working out. My trainer moved, and I haven’t found a new one that I like. Probably lost some muscle definition.”

They do seem thin.

“Bullshit.” Savannah scowled at her. “What’s going on?”

Noelle looked away as she stirred her drink with her straw. “Nothing. Just lost a bit of weight, I guess.”

I’m stressed out of my head.

Savannah snorted. “You and I don’t lose weight by accident the same way we might lose a sock in the laundry. I know we both have to work hard at it.” She grimaced. “I blame wine.”

“And bubble tea? Maybe croissants.”

“Don’t change the subject.” Savannah’s expression grew serious. “Spill it.”

There’s so much I want to say.

I’m miserable.

“Marriage isn’t the easiest thing,” Noelle started hesitantly. “Lots of compromise. Even more so when a spouse is in politics.”

“Is this about quitting your job? That was a hell of a compromise.”

“Not really. I do miss it, though.”

“You need something to do.”

“I have lots to do. So many organizations want a piece of my time, I have to say no a lot.”

“You need something you like to do,” Savannah rephrased.

Noelle lifted a shoulder. She agreed, but that wasn’t what weighed on her.

“Are things okay with Derrick?” Savannah whispered even though they were the only people on the teahouse’s patio. “You know ... sexually?”

Noelle nearly choked on a pearl of tapioca as she laughed. “That part of the marriage is fine . Jeez, Savannah.”

Her best friend was silent for a long moment, and Noelle felt as if Savannah could clearly see into her brain. “I’ve seen how his mother treats you. What does he think of that?”

Noelle said nothing.

Savannah scowled. “He does see it—or hear it, I should say, right?”

“It’s his mother. He won’t say anything to her, and I don’t expect him to.”

“Maybe you should. I didn’t think he was a mama’s boy, but if he won’t stand up for his spouse, then he definitely has an issue.”

Noelle checked her parking space.

“Look at me,” Savannah ordered. “It’s clear that you have something to say.”

“He’s been different,” Noelle started hesitantly, not wanting to be a whiner to her best friend, but clearly Savannah wouldn’t let it go until she said something .

“Different how?”

“Well ... I hardly see him, and when I do, he’s so wired and stressed that I can’t talk to him—”

“What does he do?”

“He doesn’t let me get a word in edgewise. He cuts me off or tells me to shut up—”

“He says that?”

Noelle cringed. “It’s happened.”

“If any man told me to shut up, they’d never see me again.”

“We’re married,” argued Noelle. “You don’t understand how it is. And he works so much. He doesn’t need me being a bitch.”

“You are the last person who could ever be a bitch. Yes, you’re frank and say what’s on your mind, but you are not a bitch.”

Noelle was quiet for a long second. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d given Derrick her opinion on anything; she always just rolled with what he said.

When she first worked at a bar, she’d learned how to get respect from her customers.

Even the difficult ones usually responded when she called them out on bad behavior.

Why hadn’t she done that with her husband?

He didn’t respect her.

He loved her—he said he did.

But the respect was gone.

What happened?

She thought back to the night they’d met. She’d been on such a high as she stared at him over pie, and she knew he had been too. “I don’t know what I did to make him be like that,” she said slowly.

“Stop it! Do you hear yourself?” Savannah leaned across the table and grabbed her hand. “You’re blaming yourself for something he’s done. Victim blaming. You know better than that. It’s psychology 101.”

“But—”

“Noelle. Stop. This man has been manipulating you for years. Can’t you see it?”

Noelle closed her mouth.

Manipulating?

His little tantrums when he didn’t like something she did.

His digs about her clothes and hair.

He always made her feel at fault. It’d started with small things. But the incidents had grown. She recalled how angry he’d been when she made them late for an event she’d had no knowledge of.

That’s not normal.

Noelle stared at Savannah, suddenly seeing herself through her eyes.

A woman afraid to park a car. Afraid to pick out her own clothes. Afraid to speak her mind. Afraid to stand up to a man who supposedly loved her more than anything in the world.

But didn’t act like it.

Savannah’s right.

I’m not me.

“Holy fuck,” said Noelle, her brain spinning. “How the fuck did I get here ? I’m not a stupid idiot. How did I let this happen? ” She straightened in her seat, feeling as if a blindfold had been yanked away.

Savannah laughed. “There’s my Noelle. You have no idea how reassuring it is to hear you drop a couple of F-bombs. I haven’t even heard you say damn since you met him.”

Noelle thought back over the relationship. “It was so good at first. Everything was perfect. Our wedding was perfect,” she said. “But little by little it changed. Although I swear the last year, he’s been a completely different person. He’s changed. Job stress, I guess.”

“Stop making excuses for him. He’s been a dick, and his mom has been a bitch.” Savannah squeezed her hand. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to say something.”

Noelle’s eyes widened. “You’ve always talked about how hot Derrick is. I had no idea you felt this way.”

Savannah shrugged. “You were in love—and he is hot. It was one of the nice things I could say about him, and it’s my duty as the best friend to be supportive.

But it’s crossed the line, and I had to say something.

He’s manipulated you into being someone you’re not.

You need to look at this relationship as if it was one of your case studies from college.

You’ve been on the inside for so long, you can’t see things clearly.

” Savannah paused. “The fact is, you’re in an abusive relationship.

” She lowered her voice. “Has he ever hit you?”

“No! It’s not like that,” Noelle said, a few of their loudest arguments coming to mind. “Well, not really.”

“Explain,” Savannah snapped.

“I mean ... he’s grabbed my arm. Maybe a few times. But he didn’t hit me. He was just trying to get me to listen to him ...” Her voice trailed off.

Savannah studied her. “You hear it now, don’t you? The excuse you just made for his behavior.”

Noelle’s brain couldn’t keep up. Savannah was right. “What do I do now?” she muttered to herself.

“What would you tell Eve if she was in your situation?” Savannah asked.

Noelle didn’t want to say the words. They’d hovered in her subconscious for months, but she kept pushing them away. “Leave him,” she whispered. Savannah blurred as Noelle’s eyes filled. “I need to leave him.”

“Or you could bury him deep,” Savannah said, her eyes dancing.

Noelle choked out a laugh. “Can you bring the shovel?”

“For you to hit him over the head with?”

“That would happen first. Then we’d use it to dig.”

“I’ll bring two.”

Noelle took a deep breath, feeling a lightening in every muscle of her body, almost as if each one were uncurling. She’d tied herself in knots and hadn’t known it. “Thank you, Savannah,” she whispered.

“What good are friends if they can’t tell you when to leave your husband?”

Am I really going to do this?