Page 9

Chapter Three

Using the address smudged across Lance’s arm, we take the first bus we can find and head toward it. It’s about twenty minutes from here, so we spend the time commenting on how we’re going to hopefully get to live after this and whether we should just drop the diamond on the porch and run or deliver it to a person. Will this person be a crime lord? Shifty cop? Old granny? Or maybe a shifty cop crime lord old granny…

The possibilities are endless.

As we reach the location, we find just an average-looking house tucked off the main road. I decide Lance should hand it over since he looks more badass than me and they’d likely eat me alive if given the chance.

He squares his shoulders and looks back at me, as though he wants confirmation that he looks like the man to play the part. I give him a thumbs-up while holding Thor who is just chilling with his front paws on my shoulder, looking for more shit to eat.

Lance looks sinfully sexy as he hammers on the door so hard the door swings inward, revealing the absolutely ransacked mess inside. The TV has been torn off the wall and lies in pieces on the floor. Shelves are overturned and cushions are slit.

Slowly, we both back away until my phone rings, making me jump. It’s Tony’s number, which I decide I really don’t care to answer, but Lance waves at me to take it so I grudgingly accept the call.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me. Donny.”

“I don’t know a Donny.”

“I just held you up in your apartment. Remember?”

“No… can you clarify that?” I ask.

“With the gun, in the apartment. I had your pie. Nice pie.”

“Thank you.”

“So you do remember.”

“No.”

“You fucking remember, it was like an hour ago.”

“Yeah, well, my brain rewrites traumatic memories,” I growl. “What do you want? We have the diamond.”

“Good. The location I was sending you to, whatever you do, don’t go there. It’s been compromised and is being watched. Think I’m scary? They’re ten times worse.”

“What the fuck . We’re literally standing on the porch right now!”

“Oh… man… Sorry. Tony was showing me something neat his snake can do, and I forgot to give you a call,” he says.

“What do we do?”

“Run, I guess. I’ll text you a new drop-off. Don’t fuck up.”

“We have to run,” I tell Lance as I take off down the sidewalk.

“Run? That’s our great advice?” he asks as he anxiously looks behind us. When color drains from his face, I know very well that I shouldn’t look behind us, but I can’t stop myself. I turn my head as a group of men, wearing all black and looking ready to bust our faces in, takes note of us. They seem to debate what to do before realizing that we have a good head start, so they rush back for their car.

“They’re in the car. They’re going to gun us down. Throw the diamond at them!” I say.

“But then the fucking gunman will kill us.”

“Donny?”

He glances over at me. “Who is Donny?”

“The gunman.”

“You’re on a first-name basis now?”

“Yeah, I wanted to know who to haunt in the afterlife,” I say. “If you got shot first, I would spend my life avenging you.”

“I would spend my life avenging you too,” Lance tells me.

I beam at my one true love. He’s literally the best human in the entire world. Now if only he could be my human and only mine.

“Then I’d probably get shot at and run away, so please don’t be too mad,” he adds.

“That’s a little less sexy, but that’s okay. I’d still love you. Ooh! I just had an idea. We’re near Westlake Park! That place is fucking huge. They couldn’t follow us in their car, and we’d lose them easily!”

“Good thinking,” he says as he takes a quick left before I grab his wrist and haul him right.

“This way.”

“Shit, sorry.”

“It’s okay, I know you have absolutely no sense of direction,” I say as we cut through some lady’s yard who is out raking leaves. She looks less than pleased by our presence. “I think she just called you a jerkass.”

“I’ve been called worse.”

We reach a short chain-link fence that Lance runs straight for, sets a hand on top of and swings both legs over. If we weren’t currently being threatened, I might have had a semi at that display of sexiness.

“That was hot,” I say.

“What was that?” he asks.

“I said it’s hot out,” I shout, as though he’s hard of hearing or something. I hand Thor over the fence before sticking my shoe into the chain-link hole and pushing myself up, only to realize I can’t lift my leg high enough to start my ascension. “Lance! I can’t climb!”

“It’s because your pants are so tight! Why are your pants so tight?” he asks, like he doesn’t understand the definition of looking nice.

“They make my legs look longer!”

“No… they make your legs look like twigs.”

I gasp at him. “Are you saying I have measly legs?”

“No, the pants look very nice on you, but today of all days… why’d you wear them?” he asks, as though I had a crystal ball I could pull out of my ass to tell me when we’re going to be held at gunpoint.

Lance sets Thor down and ties his leash to the fence before hopping back over—which is just as sexy the second time. He sets his hands on my ass in an attempt to help me over. “Ready, one… two… three!”

I’m so distracted by the ass cuppage that I forget to jump when he gets to three and am, instead, sent slamming gut-first into the fence, making it dig into my waist.

“Oh my god, you murdered me,” I wheeze as I stumble back and place a protective hand over my stomach.

“I’m sorry! I thought you were jumping!”

“I got distracted. Try again,” I say, ready to be pummeled into the fence as many times as needed just to have my ass felt up again.

He cups me again, but even with his assistance, I can’t get my leg up. “Fucking hell, we should have just taken the road,” he says as he picks me straight up off the ground into a bridal carry that lets me look right up into his handsome face. But before he can drop me over the other side, the lady walks over with her rake and slides open the gate that’s ten feet from us before quietly walking back over to her leaf pile.

“Don’t look at me like that,” I hiss as Lance sets me down. “I was so distracted by your jumping technique that I might not have ever looked over there.”

“Uh… huh… let’s go,” he says as he urges me over to where Thor is tied up—he’s currently in the process of consuming a butterfly. Once I reach the cat, I pick him up and start to run as he chomps on the butterfly carcass. It’s quite distracting as we make our way as quickly as we can toward the park. Once we reach it, Lance looks behind him.

“I think we’ve lost them for now, but we need to keep going.”

“Right! Donny the Asshole hasn’t told me where to go yet,” I say.

“Just away,” Lance decides before he points.

I look in the general direction he’s pointing but see absolutely nothing of use. “What?”

“The bikes. We could fly through the park on those bikes.”

“I don’t see any bikes,” I lie.

“They’re those rental bikes. I’ll get us two,” he says as he rushes toward them while I watch him in disbelief.

“Thor, what the hell is he doing?”

The cat meows and I notice a wing stuck between his teeth.

I follow Lance toward where the bikes are. “Lance, I don’t know how to ride a bike, remember? I wasn’t born to ride a bike. I was born to keep both feet on the ground.”

“Beautiful day to learn. Bright sun in the sky, nice crisp feel to the air, gunmen right behind us with death in their eyes,” Lance says as he runs his card and pulls two bikes free. He takes Thor from me and tucks him into his shirt before zipping him up tight and tying him to himself. Thor pokes his head out, not at all perturbed by his new digs.

I pick up the bike and stare down at the horrorfest on wheels. “I’ll run. I’ll catch up with you.”

“You might need to take your pants off to pedal,” he says. “You know, if they’re too tight.”

I’d always dreamed of the day Lance told me to take my pants off, but I never assumed it’d be in a scenario like this.

“Hell no,” I say before trying to lift my leg over the bike. Then I retrieve my leg, strip my pants off for all to see and tie them around my waist as mothers and fathers watch in confusion. At least the boxer briefs cover quite a bit in their Marvel glory. Chris Hemsworth’s face as Thor is right over my dick and I’m not at all displeased by it. “I am prepared, master.”

Lance’s eyes flick up from my underwear. He clears his throat and quickly looks away. “Perfect. Great. Wonderful. Put your foot on and ride.” And off he goes.

“Wait, what? That wasn’t a lesson ,” I growl as I run after him while pushing the bike.

“Sorry,” he says as he stops to look back at me, and does he… does he look a little flustered? “Get on, and just… pedal. I really don’t know how to teach you.”

I get on, hoist myself up in the seat and immediately lose my balance. “I can’t do this. Save yourself!”

“But you can.”

“I can not .”

“Pretend you’re Thor, saving the world.”

“I’m much more like Loki,” I say.

“Pretend you’re Loki, planning on destroying the world.”

With Tom Hiddleston’s sexy bod in my mind, I climb back up onto the bike and put one foot on a pedal and push against it. The bike starts to move as my arms begin to vibrate, shaking back and forth as the bike wobbles this way and that.

“Faster! You have to go faster or it’ll fall over.”

“I’m going so fast! I’m going faster than I’ve ever gone before.”

Lance doesn’t seem to be convinced. “No you’re not, I can walk faster than this. You look like you’re drunk.”

“I wish I was drunk,” I cry as I dip this way and that, one foot on the ground, the other doing this weird pedal thing as a grandma holding a cane in one hand and a child’s hand in the other cruises on by me.

“Look, Gram-gram, that guy doesn’t know how to ride a bike and he’s old, ” the little boy says.

“I’m only twenty-nine!” I wail.

“Don’t look at him. Just promise me you’ll never turn out like that,” she says as she hurries her grandchild away.

I quickly look at Lance who jumps off his bike and runs over to me. “You’re doing good,” he assures me.

“OMG. I’m the thing people tell their children not to be like!”

“You’re successful, you’re funny, you’re sweet,” he says as he grabs my hips and starts pushing me. “Keep it steady.”

“I don’t know how! I… I think more things you like about me might help,” I suggest, knowing I’m a sucker about hearing a good compliment from Lance the Lovely.

“Okay. You’re my favorite person in the whole world. From the moment I met you and made fun of that horribly ugly ladybug you were drawing, I knew you were the kind of person I wanted in my life. You’re a little ditzy sometimes, but the moment you start cooking, it’s like you fall into your own world where you’re focused and nothing can bother you, and I love watching it.”

“You sound like a creeper, and I’m not going to lie, I really like it,” I say, unable to tell him how warm and fuzzy the rest of the stuff he’s saying makes me feel. I’m over here beaming like a lunatic as my bike weaves back and forth and my legs pedal as fast as they can while Lance pushes me.

He laughs but doesn’t stop the compliment train. “You try to act tough but you’re the kindest person I’ve ever met. You’d happily give up your seat the moment you see someone come onto the bus or train. You’d work harder so someone else doesn’t have to. You’d threaten to shiv a vet just to keep your cat alive.”

“I would,” I agree as I pedal for all I’m worth.

“You’re doing it!” he says, and suddenly, I realize he’s no longer pushing me.

“Oh my god, Lance! I’m doing it!”

“You’re so good at it!” he calls as he runs after me, and while I know that’s quite the lie, I’m beaming like a psychopath.

And that’s when I see a toddler teetering down the path I’m headed down.

“Owen, turn!”

“I can’t!”

“You’re going to hit the child . Turn the handlebar!”

“I don’t know how!”

I can see the whites of the child’s eyes as I stop pedaling and the bike begins to weave out of control. In that moment, I see my life flashing before my eyes and so much of it has Lance in it, and honestly, I wouldn’t want it any other way.

I hit the ground and the bike flips through the air, narrowly missing the child before skidding to a stop somewhere far from where my lifeless body lies.

“Are you okay?” Lance asks.

“I’m dead.”

“You’re not dead.”

“I’m so dead,” I groan from where I’d eaten dirt and asphalt.

“You just… needed to turn the handlebar a little bit instead of jerking it so hard you nearly did a one-eighty. But that was really good for your first time.”

“You popped my bike-riding cherry,” I say as I look up at the man of my dreams while the mom of the toddler rushes over to scoop up her child and check to see how her toddler attempted murder at the age of two.

“Aw, I did. And not to burst your bubble, but we’ve taken so long they’ve caught up with us. Come on.”

“I’m not getting on a death machine on wheels again.”

“Okay, get on my bike. You just sit and keep your feet out of my way, and I’ll pedal. Deal?”

“Deal,” I say as he grabs my wrist and pulls me to my feet. He steadies his bike with Thor still tucked in his shirt, making me glad I didn’t volunteer to hold on to the cat. I climb onto the seat as Lance starts pedaling. He has to stand the whole time but sitting behind him with my knees and palms aching and a beautiful view of his ass makes this day just a bit brighter.

“You did it, though, Owen. You rode a bike,” he says, sounding unreasonably proud for such a goofy accomplishment.

“I did, didn’t I!”

“Would you ever do it again?” he asks.

“Absolutely not.”

Lance laughs as he keeps pedaling. “Owen… about what you said at the apartment.”

“Which part? I say a lot of things,” I hedge, even though I have a good idea of what he’s talking about.

“The part where you said you were in love with me.”

“Ha! Did I say that? I’m sure it was a joke.”

“Was it?” he asks.

I’m quiet, not sure how to answer this. But honestly… this might be the last time I’ll ever see him. I could get shot right off this bike and all over a stupid misunderstanding.

“No,” I admit.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” he asks.

I shrug, which is a little painful with the road rash. “Because…”

“I’m a coward, Owen. You’d still love a coward?” Lance asks, and I find myself wishing I could see his face.

“If that coward is you, then I could love every single angle of you. I could love anything you do besides when you forget to put the clip on the chips and they get all stale.”

“I did that like once.”

“Like at least once a week.”

“I’m a coward in that… I’ve known how you feel… for a while… even though you’ve never actually told me . You’re not as sneaky as you think you are.”

“Was it my wickedly good flirting?” I ask.

“No, it was you texting your mom and sister that you were in love with me and not realizing I was involved in the group chat.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah… I texted them and told them to play it off like they didn’t know I was in there and that I’d never read the texts because I didn’t want you to know I knew.”

“I’m sorry,” I say, feeling a bit like a fool. “I really didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“But I couldn’t stop myself from reading those texts again and again. I couldn’t stop hearing what you had to say about why you loved me. I was such a coward, though. Owen, you’ve been my best friend since we were kids. When my parents went through their bad divorce, you were my family. And I’m so afraid that if we did date, we’d fuck it up and I’d lose you, and I can’t lose you, Owen. I can’t lose my best friend. I can’t lose my only family.”

“Why didn’t you talk to me about it?” I ask. “I never meant to make you have to deal with all of that.”

“I’m not done,” he says. “But today… being faced with all this made me realize that life is short. We could die today. So why the hell was I being such a coward? Owen… I would merrily spend the rest of my life with you, if you will still have me.”

I’m struggling to contain the rush of happiness that’s slammed into me. Road rash, being held at gunpoint, being threatened, all of that just goes out the window because all I can think about is Lance.

“Really?” I ask.

“Really.”

“You want to date?”

“I do.”

“You promise you’re not saying it because you think we’re going to die?” I ask.

“We’re not going to die. I’ve loved you for a while but was too afraid to face it. All those things I told you earlier are things I love about you.”

“I love you too,” I say, happiness filling me up. “I love you so much.”

“And if we weren’t currently pedaling for our lives, I’d jump off and kiss you right now.”

I squeeze him so tightly I probably cut off all his air. He doesn’t seem to mind as he pedals away, and I wonder how today became the best damn day, even after all of that.

Lance turns the bike and stops pedaling as it slowly, gradually coasts to a stop. “Shit.”

And I realize that the best day ever might need to wait a little bit.