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Chapter Four

“What?” I ask as I peek around Lance’s shoulder only to see a line of bad guys standing there patiently waiting for us to deliver ourselves to them. Oh, and my discarded bike not too far away. “Oh. My. God . Lance, did you seriously circle around back to the gate we started at?” I can’t believe this man. If I didn’t currently want to kiss his face off, I might give him a good shake in the hope of knocking free the navigational part of his brain.

“I… was really focused on our talk and you know this place is confusing!” he says as he makes a hard right only to be stopped by more bad guys filing in behind us.

“Just stop running and get off the bike,” one orders as they begin to close in around us.

Lance starts pedaling in a circle, looking for a way out of this mess. “We don’t know anything! Just let us go!”

“We were delivering pizza,” I say in a weak attempt to make us look more innocent.

“Where’s the pizza, then?” a guy with wickedly thin eyebrows asks.

“We dropped it and we were apologizing, that’s why we were there. To apologize,” I say.

The circle Lance is going in is getting smaller and smaller until a guy with a red fedora grabs the front of the bike, slamming it to a stop. I fling forward, smashing into Lance as he puts his feet down to catch the bike before it tips over.

“I like your cat,” Fedora Man says.

“Thanks,” Lance whispers. “We really don’t want to die. We want no part of this. We were coerced into this. We’re just two regular guys. We know nothing. We were just, you know… it was all an accident.”

“Accident, you say?” a voice behind us says.

We turn to look as a pretty woman walks up. Unlike the typical bad guy getup that’s going on with the rest of the crew, she’s wearing pajama pants with rainbow sheep on them.

“I really like your pants,” I say as I slide off the bike.

She smiles at me. “Thank you. Now the diamond.”

Lance quickly hands it to her before grabbing me in his arms and pulling me back behind himself, like he’s going to stop a bullet for me. “Please don’t touch him. Whatever you want to do or need, I’ll do it. Please, just, he’s done nothing wrong, neither of us have. Please?—”

“This is all I need,” she says. “If either of you touch my diamonds again, I’m going to torture both of you. Understood?”

“Extremely well,” I whisper from behind Lance.

And with that, they all load up in the cars and disappear, leaving us standing there. For a long moment, all we do is watch the spot where they’d been before slowly turning to each other.

“Have you been shot, shivved, or murdered?” I ask.

“No… have you?” he asks.

“No… god, I want to kiss your face off,” I say as I push into him, but I don’t realize until too late that he was turning away at the same time, so I do this weird lip-to-ear smash thing that’s the least sexy thing I’ve ever done.

Honestly, it makes sense to not want to tongue-tangle here right in the middle of the spot where we were just threatened.

“Whoops, sorry,” he says.

“Why am I so unsexy?” I whine.

He smiles as he turns to face me. He sets a finger under my chin, pushing it up as Thor makes a nest inside his shirt. Then Lance leans in, lips inches from mine, making my eyes become mesmerized by them. “You are the sexiest man I’ve ever met. I wouldn’t want you any other way,” he says before pressing into me. His lips meet mine, and it’s as amazing as all the dreams I’ve had about this moment. Years of dreams.

No!

It’s better than I ever imagined. The way his lips move over me and his hands slip around my body, pulling me in, drawing me to him. This is what I’ve wanted for so many years, and now he’s really mine. Finally mine. But before I can stuff my tongue into his mouth and teach these innocent children all about second base, my phone rings.

I pull back as the torture of today snaps back into my brain. “Oh my god, Pajama Lady might not have killed us but Donny’s going to!”

Lance’s eyes get wide. “Shit… what if we move to Canada?”

“We could change our names.”

“We could get married.”

“Are you proposing to me?”

“Maybe we should answer the phone first.”

“That oddly makes sense,” I say as I answer it with the most confident voice I can muster up. “Hello?”

“What happened to your voice? Did your balls never drop? Someone step on them?”

“That would be a nope.”

“No, they never dropped?” he asks.

“Fuck you, Donny! Hear me? I wanna take this fucking bike and ram it up your fucking ass for making us go through all of this. We don’t want the goddamn diamond. We don’t want to be part of your goddamn game from hell. I want to just go home and bake pies and make out with my new boyfriend. And I swear to god, if you try to stop me, I’m going to fuck you up. Just try me.”

“God, you’re like a yappy little Chihuahua. It’s adorable for some weird reason. Makes me feel weird saying that, but I can’t help myself. Anyway, just wanted to say my wife said she got the diamond from you. Good job. You can go home. Better yet, go to the bakery and bring me a pie back. You know what? I’m feeling generous, get one for yourself and one for my wife. It’s our anniversary.”

“Hold on a fucking minute… the lady… who was trying to murder us… was… your wife? You told me to run from her.”

“I told you to run from the guys who ransacked the house. How was I supposed to know who was following you? Don’t forget the pie.”

“Get your own fucking pie,” I hiss.

“Fine. I will. I want it for free too.”

“Sure, tell the guy at the register you get the Fuck Yourself discount. He’ll know what that means.”

“Great, I’ll hold you to that,” he says. “It was fun doing business with you. And good for you about the boyfriend thing. The sexual tension you two had going on back at the apartment… too hot to handle. Tony was telling me all about it. Sounds like I did a good thing today. Playing Cupid and all.”

“Fuck you, Donny.”

“Some call me Saint Donny the Love Machine, so maybe that’s rubbed off on you.”

“Fuck you and your love machine.”

“I think I’ll do that when I get home,” he says before hanging up.

I turn to look at Lance, who honestly looks exhausted from everything that’s happened. “Let’s go home?” I ask.

“How about we get a house? We have enough money in the bank… we’ll put a deposit down on a nice house,” he suggests.

“Ooh,” I say as I reach out for his hand. “I love that idea. As far from Tony and these people he associates with as humanly possible.”

“Right. Where you can just open packages to your heart’s content,” he says as his fingers slide between mine. How do they fit so damn well?

“No, I’m never opening a package ever again. I’m never letting you drive without your GPS ever again, either.”

“That was an accident,” he says as he pushes the bike over to the stand we’d gotten it from before retrieving the other. “Let’s go home.”

“Do you think I should put my pants back on?”

Lance glances down at my pantsless body and hesitates. “Sadly, I think that’d be for the best.”

“True, true. And then after, can I shiv Tony? I don’t know if you know this but I’m kind of a big deal where I come from,” I say as I slide my pants back on. “They called me The Shivster. There’s no foe I can’t face. There’s no threat I can’t shiv down.”

“Wow, it’s almost like you were on a completely different adventure than I was,” Lance says with a grin as we walk hand in hand toward the nearest bus stop.

“It was because I was so busy hiding the truth from your eyes that I had to do it all behind your back.”

“Thank you for protecting me like that,” he says before sneaking a cheek kiss that makes me feel like I could fly.

“We should have sex when we get home,” I declare.

“Oh… well… that’s abrupt. No lead up, no foreplay, just right there,” he says, but the way he’s looking at me tells me he’s not at all against the idea.

“That’s just the way I roll. But if you don’t want to, I’m totally fine with longingly staring at you. I’ve been doing it for years, but now I can do it without having to hide. I watched you sleep on the couch the other day. I knew it was creepy and I knew I should do something else, but I did it anyway. You were making some really weird faces, though, so honestly?—”

“I feel like that went from sweet to creepy to just downright evil in a span of a few words,” he comments. “Not that you’re ever a man of few words.”

I grin at him. “Good. I like to keep you on your toes.”

“I’m on my toes, alright.”

“Good,” I say with a huge smile.

The bus ride home is shockingly normal, and so is entering our building. For a brief moment, in the hallway, Lance and I stare at Tony’s door. I think we’re both questioning what we could do to destroy him, but at some point, we decide we’re better than him—and also positive we don’t want to get murdered—and go inside our own apartment.

Lance starts sliding every lock we’ve ever owned in place.

“I’ll get the windows,” I say.

“They’re not climbing up to the third floor.”

I give him a look.

“Get the windows,” he says.

I rush for them, locking every window and the balcony door before grabbing my favorite knife block out of the kitchen and setting it on the table for easier access. I pull out a knife. “This is a boning knife. If you ever need to cut through some joints, this is your guy.”

“Got it.”

I grab another. “This fucker here? This fucker will cut through metal.”

Lance gives me a look, but I will not be corrected. “Got it.”

“Then these little guys could be used like throwing knives.”

“Okay.”

“I think we’re good to go. Pants on or off?” I ask.

“How about you hold the knives at the ready in case someone comes for us, and I’ll strip you naked?” he says. I’m one hundred percent aware he’s poking at me for the knife lesson, but it still makes me laugh.

“You’re an ass,” I say as I set the knives down and walk over to him.

He meets me in the middle with a huge grin on his face. “Perhaps. Yet you still want me.”

“That I do,” I agree as he presses into me, his lips meeting mine. I push into him, which is easier now that Thor is roaming around, and slide one hand behind his back before pulling him in closer with the other. My fingers brush over his bare skin, wishing I could get even more clothes off him but not wanting to rush him.

His hand slides under my shirt, hooking it as he goes, making me realize I’m literally living my dream. The dream I’ve had for years. The dream where I’d catch his attention enough that he’d want to be with me. He’d want to hold me and love me as much as I wanted him.

Lance’s lips move over mine, drawing me out of my thoughts as he guides me to his bedroom while his hand snakes up to my chest, pushing my shirt up and off my head. He drops it onto the ground as I grab for his, knowing it needs to move on. The moment I have his shirt off, I run my hands up his bare chest as his fingers work at the button of my pants. He slides them down slowly, pulling my underwear down with them until they drop at my feet.

Eagerly, I kick them away as my hands lower to his waist. My finger dips under the band of his pants, making him shiver in anticipation before I unbutton his pants and slowly draw the zipper down. I slide my hand under the waistband of his boxer briefs, letting my hand run over his clearly interested cock as his lips move over mine.

How many times have I thought about doing this? And now that I finally am, I can love him the way I’ve wanted. I don’t have to force myself to try not to think about him as anything more than a friend so I won’t get hurt.

The truth is, I wasn’t very good at it. I knew I’d get hurt the moment he moved on to someone, but now all of that fear is gone. All that anxiety has left me. Now it’s just us.

And I’ve never felt so damn good.

Lance slides his pants off before nudging me down onto the bed. He follows me down, lips on mine, kissing me gently at first, then deeper. I’ll never get enough of his kisses.

He pushes me higher up the bed as he reaches past me to grab a condom and lube before squirting some lube onto his hand. His hips slide against me, pressing his cock against mine as his hand slides down our lengths, rubbing them together as he runs lube over them before his hand slides past.

I reach out and take his cock in hand, stroking it slowly, letting my fingers run up his hard length as he squeezes my ass before running his fingers over me. One finger stops and rubs against me as I stroke his cock and anticipate the feeling of him inside me.

Lance catches my mouth again as his finger pushes into me, slowly opening me up. I murmur nonsense against his lips. It’s something about how amazing he is, but it gets lost somewhere in translation between my brain and my lips, especially when he slips a second finger in me while stroking my cock.

“I need more of you right now. Right this minute,” I decide.

“I need you too but I don’t want to rush you,” he says before giving me a quick and gentle kiss.

“Nah. You’re not. Today, I saved your life from a psychopath, threatened a vet, and rode a motherfucking bike, so when I say I need your dick, I need your dick.”

He snorts. “I feel like every time you think back on this story it changes a little.”

“Never,” I say with a grin.

The sound of Lance’s laughter makes me happier than he’ll ever understand. “You were very heroic today,” he says.

“Thank you.”

“Just don’t carry knives in your pants anymore.”

“Deal.”

His hand wraps around my cock, making me forget that I was in the process of harassing him. And as he pulls his fingers out, I tear open the condom. I set it against the head of his cock before rolling it down. He rubs lube on himself as he settles between my legs.

“You sure you’re good?”

“Yes. Of course I am. You’re here. I’ve never been better.”

He smiles warmly as his cock brushes against my entrance until he slowly guides himself inside me, making moans escape my lips as he fills me up. I grab him, holding him tightly to me as his hips rock gently, cock sliding deep inside me.

When he slowly begins to shift his weight, I feel like I’m overwhelmed with pleasure. I could never be happier than knowing that he loves me back. I could never be luckier than having the best person in the world by my side.

As he thrusts inside me, pleasure takes over, making me moan as I dig my fingers into his back. The moment he hits that sweet spot inside me, I grasp even harder onto him. It’s like he already knows every inch of my body, already knows how to make me writhe beneath him, making me want more yet unable to handle the pleasure he’s already giving me. The grip on my cock quickens as I reach the edge, unable to hang on any longer. He thrusts deep inside me as I come, my moans filling the room as his own pace quickens.

Lance pushes deep inside me as he comes and as he slowly pulls out of me, he runs kisses over me, like he can’t get enough. I can’t get enough either. I could never get enough. He reaches for something to clean us up with before pulling me on top of him.

“Isn’t it weird how it took coercion to get me to finally admit something I’d been feeling for a long time?” he asks.

“Maybe if I was better at talking, I could have, you know, shared my feelings a bit better instead of my years of awkward flirting.”

He grins at me. “I don’t know. I wouldn’t want you to ever change, and I might like your awkward flirting.”

I wrap my arms around him the best I can. “You better. I love you, Lance.”

“I love you too.”

I can’t even explain how much I love hearing that.

“Now, do you want to go for a bike ride tomorrow?” he asks, which I definitely don’t love hearing.

“Hell no. I never want to even see a bike again. For this relationship to work, you need to burn your bike,” I joke.

As I set my head against his chest, I can hear the sound of his laughter and it makes me smile.

“Let’s never get coerced again,” I say.

“You don’t want to do this next year for our anniversary?”

The idea of us having an anniversary nearly sends me over the edge. How can I be so happy after everything that happened today? “We could make it a yearly thing where we hire Donny every year to kidnap us.”

“I’m going to say no for some reason,” he says.

I grin at him. “Alright. Fine. Fine.”

For a long time, we lie together, wrapped in each other’s arms, just loving every moment of it.