Page 5

5

Isaac

I seethed as I watched Sebastian Greene walk Tovah to her car before kissing her on the forehead. Sebastian led Fire and Hail, a secret society at Reina. Rumor was they were into some truly fucked up shit. No one was supposed to know, but I knew everything that happened on this campus.

Why was she always visiting this dick?

Tovah leaned into him as he hugged her tightly, and I had to restrain myself from getting out of my 1986 restored Aston Martin Vantage and ripping the secret society nerd’s arms off his body and punching his face in so he could never kiss any part of her, ever again.

Pulling away from him, Tovah opened the door to the driver’s side. It made a high-pitched scratching sound, like it didn’t want to open. Sebastian said something and she laughed, before getting in her car. I hated seeing her laugh. Hated knowing he was the one who put that joy on her face. Not that I ever wanted to make her happy.

Sebastian closed the door and waited for her to drive off before he headed back inside. As he walked past my car, I ducked down, grateful for the dark screened windows that made it possible for me to see out but impossible for anyone else to see in.

Once the douche was inside, I turned on the car but kept the lights off, slowly following Tovah as she made her way home. This had become a habit of mine for the past god knew how many months—tailing her, waiting in the shadows as she went up to someone’s apartment, and then following her home so I know she made it there safely. I was stalking her, plain and simple, and although at first I had loathed myself for it, now it was a normal part of my life.

My phone buzzed, and my car’s infotainment system read the text out loud to me. It was from me and my friend’s group chat, which used to jokingly be titled the Core Four, but now was called “Core Four + 1” because Aviva’s brother, Asher, had joined.

Judah: Where are you, asshole?

Judah: For once, there are too many girls to go around. We need Dr. Dimples to distract them, especially the ones that are trying to climb all over Jack before Aviva kills one of them and Jack helps her hide the body.

Asher: My sister is not violent, you idiot.

Levi: I’m the only one who gets to call him an idiot.

Judah: Isaac, get your ass over here.

I dictated my text to the car.

Me: Can’t. Busy.

Judah: What the hell? What’s gotten into you lately? You’re all moody and pissy. Did you and Feldman switch places? What happened to the sunny fucker we all know and love?

Levi: It’s not what’s gotten into him, it’s who he hasn’t been able to get himself into.

Levi was always too insightful for his own good. Both twins were, but at least Judah was funny about it.

Judah: Ah, girl trouble.

Judah: Well, a certain curvy pink-haired troublemaker isn’t here, but I’m sure we could track her down and invite her…

I rolled my eyes as Tovah made a left down her street and I followed, responding.

Me: No clue who you mean. And I’m the same sunny fucker I’ve always been.

Judah: Then get your ass over here. I’m drowning in pussy and I need a life raft.

As Tovah found a parking spot on the street, I watched carefully, making sure no asshole tried to accost her. She needed to live somewhere safer. But it wasn’t my business. I didn’t give a shit. Really. For a moment I considered heading to the party once Tovah was inside and getting lost in warm, tight pussy in order to stop thinking about her.

But the truth—one I would take to my grave—was that I hadn’t been able to get it up for anyone but Tovah in fucking months. Yeah, I’d flirted with other girls, took them back to their home, even got them off—but it did nothing for me. I’d bide my time, be a gentleman, and then go home and fuck my fist, imagining it was Tovah’s throat or cunt or ass, until I came all over myself like the pathetic dipshit I’d become.

So I ignored Judah. Ignored everything but Tovah pulling open the door to her apartment building, waiting until I saw the lights switch on in her bedroom before driving away.

She was safe. I was free for the night.

But as if I didn’t have control of my own car, my own body, my own fucking mind , I found myself turning around and heading back to Sebastian’s building.

I needed answers. And if that meant giving this asshole a glimpse of the monster buried within me, so be it.

* * *

It didn’t take much to get into Sebastian’s supposedly secure building—just a little flirting with two sorority girls who were on their way to a party. They immediately knew who I was, and when I said I was picking up a friend and hell yeah, I’d love to meet them later at the mixer at Kappa Alpha Theta, or whatever it was, they giggled and let me right in. Oh, and did they know which apartment Sebastian was in? He wasn’t texting me back, the asshole. Probably in the shower. I showed off my dimples and without hesitating, they told me he lived in the penthouse.

Of course the fucker did. I couldn’t talk, of course. This level of lux was something I’d grown up with. But I preferred my bedroom at the hockey house—and the house I owned situated between the edge of campus and the forest that surrounded it.

I knocked, twice.

“Coming,” Sebastian called.

Idiot.

He pulled the door open…and I shoved him backward as I stepped into the apartment. It was modern and clean and lacked any personality, but I ignored the boring space and focused on the douchebag in front of me, his dark hair wet, his jaw locked, and his eyes pissed.

Too bad. I was pissed, too.

“Get the fuck out of my apartment, Jones,” he spat.

“Nah.” I grinned at him. “I think I’ll stay for a while.” I pretended to glance around. “Your daddy buy it for you?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” he said, pinging an alarm in my head that he might know more than he should, but then he added, “Oh, please. You didn’t get that Tag Heuer on your own,” he said, nodding at my watch.

So he didn’t know who my family really was. Of course he didn’t.

I shrugged. “Sponsorships.”

He shook his head. “Fucking jock. I don’t know what the hell you’re doing here, but I do think it’s time for you to leave.”

I didn’t have time for this bullshit. “What was Tovah Kaufman doing here earlier?”

His eyes widened. Just for a second, but I caught it. “I know you’re just a dumb jock, but even you know stalking is illegal,” he drawled.

I raised one shoulder. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“And what if I tell you she was here for exactly the reason you think she was?” He stretched, twisting his neck both ways before adding, “Gave me a real workout, too. Worth it.”

A red haze filled my vision, and then I was on top of him, my hand around his throat, squeezing. And his face was turning the same color red.

Fuck.

What the fuck was wrong with me?

Catching myself before I killed the fucker in my jealous fury, I took a deep breath, released it, and forced my grip to loosen. The red haze began to clear, and as it did, the realization of what I’d done dawned upon me. I prided myself on being the only member of my family who hadn’t killed someone—even though I’d been exposed to so much violence. But here I was, Isaac Jones, Good Guy, choking the fuck out of a guy for insinuating he’d fucked the woman I hated. I’d completely snapped. Just because I thought someone had touched a girl who wasn’t even mine.

The monster within was winning.

Her fault.

Sebastian gasped, but I didn’t fully release him.

“Was that true? Did you touch her? Did you fuck her? Because if you did…” I began to tighten my grip again.

“And so what if I did?” he taunted on a cough. This asshole must have a death wish. “What, are you going to kill me? What happened to Isaac Jones, everyone’s best friend? Has he been an unhinged, violent maniac this whole time? It’ll be fun to leak it to all of Reina.”

An unhinged, violent maniac.

Just like my father.

Feeling sick, I tried to release Sebastian’s neck, to back away. But the word “leak” made me think of newspapers, which made me think of Tovah, so I maintained my grip on his neck.

“Answer the question, or you won’t be around to leak anything,” I threatened, my voice low and menacing.

Wheezing, Sebastian said, “No, man, I didn’t fuck her. She’s like a sister to me.”

Before I could respond, Sebastian’s phone started buzzing in his pocket. Still gripping his neck, I reached into his jeans and pulled it out.

A name flashed on the screen.

Tovah L. calling.

L?

Why had he put L as her last initial?

Because I know what it’s like to have to hide who you really are . She’d said those words to me at the arena earlier, but I’d been too distracted by thoughts of fucking her into the ground to really consider them.

What was she hiding?

“What’s the L for?” I asked him, voice thick.

“What do you mean?”

I tightened my grip, letting the monster show in my eyes. “Tovah L. What is the L for, Sebastian?”

He swallowed beneath my hand but didn’t speak.

“Here’s how this is going to work,” I said. “You’re going to stop doing this bullshit prevarication thing you think you’re so good at. Instead, you’re going to tell me exactly why she’s listed that way in your phone, or I’m going to fabricate evidence that you are dealing Vice and Vixen—believe me, I can. And then there goes your entire future. Got me?”

“You think I’ll give her up to you?” he glared at me.

The fact that he was protecting her pissed me off even more. No one was getting between Tovah and me. Certainly not this fucking nerd.

“No, but I think if you have to choose between her and your brotherhood, you’ll choose your brotherhood. And so I’ll up the ante: I’ll make sure it looks like Fire and Hail is behind the Vice and Vixen distribution on campus, so that you and every single one of your ‘brothers’ winds up in prison. How does that sound? Knowing that you could’ve saved them, but you chose an outsider instead?”

Sebastian didn’t speak for a moment, shutting his eyes.

When he opened them, and I saw the pain and guilt there, I knew I had him.

“Don’t hurt her,” he said.

Oh, I was going to hurt her. I was going to leave the kind of wounds that remained long after the scars faded away.

“You aren’t in the position to make requests,” I said instead, squeezing his throat again. “Now, tell me. Why ‘Tovah L?’”

He coughed. “Tovah’s last name isn’t Kaufman. It’s Lewis.”

He watched my expression, like the last name was supposed to spark something. I kept my face blank, but my brain was spinning.

Tovah Lewis.

I knew all about fake last names. I had one, after all. I’d chosen “Jones” because I wanted no association to my crime lord of a father, or the “organization” I was going to inherit when I graduated Reina.

But what was Tovah hiding? Who was Tovah Lewis?

I released him. He leaned over, gasping.

“Don’t. Hurt. Her,” he repeated.

“Don’t you fucking get near Tovah again,” I told him. “Whatever it was you are doing with her—it ends now. Or I really will ruin you and your brotherhood. Don’t test me, Sebastian. As far as you’re concerned, Tovah Lewis no longer exists.”

He glared at me. “Heard.”

Exhaling slowly, I turned and slammed out of the penthouse. As I walked to the elevator, I grappled with everything I’d just learned. It was possible that Lewis was her dad’s last name, and Kaufman was her mother’s. But if that were the case, it wouldn’t have been some big secret. Also, Aviva had once said that Tovah was an orphan, so it wouldn’t make sense she used different last names.

I froze a step from the elevator.

Could Kaufman be her maiden name? Was Tovah married ?

The red haze that had only just cleared reappeared in front of my eyes. It took every bit of willpower I had to keep myself from storming back into Sebastian’s apartment and demanding more answers.

I didn’t recognize myself.

I wasn’t violent.

I wasn’t ruthless.

I wasn’t the man my father so badly wanted me to be.

I solved my issues rationally, peacefully. I was the mediator, not the instigator.

I’d managed to keep the monster inside locked away tight.

Until now.

Until Tovah Lewis . Whoever she was, whatever reason she had for pretending to have a different last name, she was like the trigger for the sleeper agent inside me. If I was wise, I’d stay far away from her.

The elevator was waiting for me when I pressed the button to call it, doors sliding open. I walked inside, leaning against its cool, metal wall as it descended to the ground floor and ejected me from this hell I’d volunteered for. This, here, was why I couldn’t have Tovah. Or anyone. Feelings and passion like this turned men into monsters. I’d seen it happen with my father after my mother was murdered; and with countless other men like him when there was a woman involved. Not only did I know that bringing someone into my world meant death for them, but it would also mean death for me as well—the death of the man I’d always promised myself I would be.

No, I needed to stay as far away from the little snoop as possible.

Too bad she called to me like a siren to a sailor—right before he crashed his ship on the rocks.

I already had my phone out when I reached the ground floor, googling “Tovah Lewis.”

There were a bunch of entries, but all of them were for much older women.

It was like she didn’t exist.

Without hesitating, I texted my sister Liza.

I need you to get some information for me.

She responded immediately.

Dad said you won’t return his calls. He wants you home for Shabbat dinner soon.

I couldn’t even respond to that right now. I had no interest in seeing my father or hearing what he had to say, what new Faustian deal he had ready for me. I’d already agreed to oversee the distribution of Vice and Vixen with Jack, knowing it could jeopardize our entire team’s futures. What was next, performance enhancing drugs? No fucking way. I was staying as far away from Brooklyn and the Silvers as I could, until I got dragged back to take up a role I dreaded.

I could feel that figurative noose growing tighter.

I don’t want to talk about dad. Can you help me get this info or not?

I’d clearly piqued her interest, because she responded.

What do you need?

To find out whoever Tovah Lewis is.

On it. Is this some girl you’re dating?

I snorted to myself as I walked out of the building and toward my car. I didn’t want to date Tovah. I wanted to return to a time when I didn’t even know she existed. Barring that, I wanted her on her knees in front of me, tears dragging makeup down her face as I shoved my cock so deep down her throat she couldn’t breathe. Or on her hands and knees as I fucked her so deep, the little snoop forgot what it felt like when I wasn’t inside her.

My silence clearly had answered the question for my sister, because she sent back.

Just don’t be stupid. But I’ll look into her for you. Be good, little bro.

I rolled my eyes, smirking despite myself. Liza was only a year older than me, but she acted like she had all this life experience on me. I loved my brilliant sister, even if I wish she didn’t take my father’s side. But then again, she’d always wanted what I dreaded: to lead the family.

Getting in my car, I headed home. As I drove, I realized something that made me grin.

I might not know why Tovah was hiding her identity.

But I knew she was , which meant I finally had leverage over her. I didn’t know what I planned to do with it yet, but the knowledge made me feel better than I had all night.

“Good luck, Tovah Lewis,” I murmured to myself as I steered the car home. “You’re going to fucking need it.”