Page 37

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Isaac

M y control had snapped like a twig. I was determined to leave it behind in the trees. To be this new, maybe not improved—okay, definitely not improved—version of myself. Because that version of Isaac Silver, as villainous and monstrous as he might be, had one thing Good Guy Isaac Jones didn’t have: Tovah.

Every moment from the night before replayed in my head as I held Tovah tight to my chest and carried her back inside. The way she’d tricked me, chained me, teased me. The way I’d chased her through the house and outside. How she’d run and run, and run, until I caught her. How she’d protested at first, until she’d admitted how badly she wanted me, too.

My body only makes sense when it’s with yours , she’d said.

And then I’d fucked her. I remembered every moment of that, the feeling of her impossibly snug pussy squeezing my cock, her gasps, her moans, her cries, the glassy look in her eyes as she’d come for me again and again. I’d fucked her in a dozen different positions, filled her with cum more times than I could count, and even though my body ached and my cock felt raw from all the friction, I wasn’t done. I wanted, needed more.

My body only makes sense when it’s with yours.

Maybe I could freeze time while I was inside her, so I could fuck her for all of eternity without worrying about the outside world trying to destroy us.

But I’d seen the hint of pain in her eyes this last time. It had been too much, and I needed to take her home, warm her up, bathe her, feed her, let her rest. And then, only then, could I fuck her again.

Sounded like a good plan to me.

I carried her, my bashert, into the house, leaning down to sniff her hair and luxuriate in the smell of lemon and sugar, pine and dirt. She smelled like mine.

My bashert.

My destiny.

My soulmate.

I’d called her my bashert. I’d only ever called one other person bashert. And while part of me fought against the word and what it actually meant for me and for us, it felt so damn right. A voice in my head, quiet and resigned, reminded me I couldn’t have a bashert, not with the dark, violent future that loomed before me. But for now, I was ignoring that potential nightmare, choosing to lose myself in Tovah.

“You don’t have to carry me,” she said, sounded worn out.

“I like carrying you,” I told her. “You feel good in my arms, so that’s where you’re staying. Are you really going to fight me on it?”

She sighed, snuggling in closer. “You fucked the fight out of me.”

I grinned into her hair.

Hell, yeah, I did.

Once inside the house, I locked it behind me, making sure my precious cargo stayed safe from whatever might threaten her. Then I headed up the stairs, bypassing the bedroom and the temptation of the bed with the broken chains for the shower.

Placing her carefully on the tile floor, I turned on the shower, testing the water and playing with the hot and cold faucets until the water was the perfect temperature—hot enough to warm her but not so hot it would burn that perfect, lightly tanned skin.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up,” I said, leading her into the shower and placing her under the spray. As I did, I glanced down for a moment at my own body…

…and spotted what looked like dried flecks of blood on my cock.

What the fuck?

My breathing froze, a nightmare coalescing in my head.

I’d fucked her so hard, I’d hurt her. Tore something, ripped her up inside. Was she in pain and hadn’t told me? Had that not been pleasurable for her at all?

Trying to keep my breathing even, I gently said, “Can you open your legs for me, bashert?”

She sighed. “I love when you call me that. But why?”

I swallowed, trying to get the choking feeling out of my throat. “I want to check something.”

“Okay.” Her face was wide, soft, and trusting. She smiled, stepping wider.

Hands shaking, terrified of what I would find, I stroked her inner thighs, looking down.

Dried blood stained her thighs, her pussy. I jumped back, as if she’d burned me.

“What’s wrong, Isaac?”

“I hurt you,” I said flatly. “Why didn’t you tell me? I tore you and?—”

“Oh.” She blushed and looked away from me. “There’s something I didn’t tell you.”

“What?”

“I’m—I was…a virgin. Until last night, at least.”

I wasn’t sure I’d heard her clearly at first, my heart was roaring so loudly in my ears.

“What?”

She turned her head back to me, and although her face was solemn, there was a small, almost rueful smile on her face. “Yeah, I was a virgin. The reputation I have—” she waved her hands, “—it’s just rumors. None of it was true.”

Without realizing it, I sank to my knees in the shower, putting a hand on her calf, partially to steady myself, partially because I needed the physical contact.

“None of it?”

She shook her head. “None.”

“So I was your…first.”

“First everything. Well, I’d been kissed before, but that was?—”

“I don’t want to hear about other guys,” I barked, making her flinch. “No, I’m sorry, I?—”

I didn’t know what was going on inside of me. My heart had started racing, was still pounding in my ears. Did I want to yell in triumph, beat my chest? She was mine, completely mine, had only ever been mine. Did I want to go destroy whoever had kissed her in the past, for daring to even touch what belonged to me? I’d never judged Tovah for her past—that would have been hypocritical as fuck. But I’d always been jealous.

And now? Now I didn’t have to be.

I had so many questions for her. Like why she’d lie about something like that, about what had been going on with Sebastian and those other men if she hadn’t been fucking them. But one question shoved all those others out of the way.

“Did I hurt you? If I’d known, I would’ve?—”

I was so fucking worried. Would I have been gentler, if I’d known she’d been a virgin? God, her first time was a rough fuck in the woods…

“You did.” She didn’t mince her words, and this time, I was the one to flinch. “But you also made it feel so goddamn good. I didn’t want some gentle, soft, bed of roses first time, Isaac. Maybe I couldn’t admit it to myself before, but what I wanted was you.” She reached down, stroking my hair. “The real you, the caring side and the scary, controlling, animalistic side. I know I’ve called you a monster, but…”

“But what?” I needed to know, needed something to quell the shame that dragged me down like a weight.

“…but you’re my monster.”

And then I was nuzzling and kissing her ankles, her calves, her thighs, her stomach. I looked up at her.

“Thank you,” I said. I’d lost the battle with my throat, and the sound that came out was choked. “For making me come to grips with who I really am, and for accepting him. For giving me you. I fucking promise I’ll never let you regret it.”

And then I was dipping my lips between her thighs, kissing her pussy, circling her clit with my tongue, gently nipping her lips with my teeth, licking her slit and sliding my tongue inside.

“Isaac, I can’t—” she whimpered, starting to shut her legs, but I stopped her with a grip on her inner thighs.

“No,” I said. “I need to taste you, us together. Know what my pussy tastes like after the first time it took my cock. Don’t deny me this.”

“But I’m so sore.”

“I’ll be gentle.”

Without giving her more of a chance to argue, I started fucking her with my tongue. I could taste my cum, which honestly, I didn’t love, but then the taste of her own arousal came through, and the combination of us together, of what we’d made, was the best fucking flavor I’d ever consumed. Suddenly ravenous, I fought myself to give her tenderness, to give when all I wanted to do was take. I started swiping my thumb over her clit, and it didn’t take long until she was clenching my tongue with her pussy, thighs tensing as she came with sweet, high-pitched moans and sighs.

“Again,” I demanded.

“Isaac—”

But I was diving back between her legs, my eyes on her face, taking in every perfect, beautiful expression as she surrendered to me, melting into my hands.

I couldn’t help it anymore, the need to be soft with her unable to keep the monster at bay who wanted to soak himself in her, drown himself. I hungrily ate her pussy, sucking and licking and working her clit until she came again with a shriek, just as sweet as her sighs, and I swallowed down her cum.

Rising to my feet, I caught her around the waist, lifting her and dropping onto my pounding hard cock. Once again, I tried to be slow, to be gentle, but with her eyes on me, she begged, “harder, Isaac,” and I wasn’t going to deny her, was I? So I bounced her, over and over again, keeping her pinned against the wall with my right hand and hips alone as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I bit and sucked at her nipples as we fucked, her pussy squeezing around me.

“Isaac,” she moaned, and I abandoned her breasts temporarily to see the look in her eyes.

“I’m so close…” A shocked, desperate, expression, filled with pain and pleasure, turned her brown eyes gold. She was squeezing my damn cock so tight, her cunt slippery wet, and god, fuck, there was no better feeling in the whole goddamned universe than being inside her.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” I groaned, and, barely aware of what I was saying, added in Yiddish, “Dayn neshemah iz mayn, bashert.”

“Isaac,” she cried out, and I swallowed her pleasure and her pain with my mouth as I fucked her, and fucked her, and fucked her.