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Tovah

I saac didn’t give me my phone back. He did, however, edge me to the point of insanity for the rest of the week, care for me afterward, and then cuff me to him every night and make me sleep in his arms.

They were the leather and fur cuffs from what I thought was a dream. Apparently not.

“Not going to hurt you again,” he’d said. “Got rid of those other goddamn handcuffs after they rubbed your wrists raw.”

God help me, but I was beginning to grow addicted to it—both his torture and his care.

That didn’t mean I forgot what mattered to me, though. So even though he and his teammates were still shadowing me to all my classes and newspaper meetings, I had to find a moment alone so I could call my mom.

I found my moment after my sociology seminar one day. Dave Lawson, or Lawson, as he went by, was my babysitter that afternoon. It was a bright, sunny day, warm for early spring, and the sun streamed in through the trees that surrounded the quad, dousing it with light and making the old snow sparkle.

Lawson wasn’t much of a talker. It was an easy silence, but we were both lost in our own thoughts. Lawson, thinking about god knew what, probably goalie stuff. Me, about how I was going to manage to call my mom. My phone was burning a hole in my purse.

Until Lawson stopped in the middle of the quad, almost tripping over his own feet as he stared into the distance.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Just saw some—not possible. Stay here, I’ll be right back,” he said, not even bothering to look back at me and make sure I stayed like a good little prisoner as he practically sprinted down the path and out of sight.

Perfect.

I hurried in the other direction, back into the building toward the women’s bathroom. I could always say I needed to pee, and the sound of running water would cover up whatever conversation I had.

Entering the bathroom, I locked the door, apologizing silently to anyone who might have to pee between classes. But they could go up a floor.

Flipping open the burner phone, I pressed the buttons for my mother’s number, letting it ring three times before hanging up. I did it two more times. It was my signal to her that I was calling when I couldn’t use my own phone.

Finally, on the fourth call, she answered on the first ring.

“Tovahleh?”

“Hi mom,” I said, trying to hold back the tears at finally hearing her warm if worried voice.

“Oh honey, thank god. I haven’t heard from you in days. How are you? Why aren’t you responding to your texts?”

Shit, how did I explain this without terrifying her?

“I lost my phone,” I finally said. “And I haven’t been able to afford a new one. I’m so sorry.”

She exhaled. “So you’re okay?”

I choked on a laugh. “Yes, I’m okay.”

If being okay meant being sexually edged and denied orgasm for days by your former and maybe current greatest enemy who claimed he knew your secrets but only seemed to know some of them and spent the same amount of time tormenting you as he spent protecting you. And wondering if you were falling in love with him, each time he opened up to you more. Then sure, I was okay.

But I needed to lie.

“Are you okay?” I asked. “Wait, why do I hear other cars? Are you on the road?”

“Honey, I’m fine,” she said, clearly trying to keep me calm. “The neighbors told me some strange men showed up outside the house I’m staying in and asked some concerning questions. I packed up our things and changed the plates on the car. It’s time to go on the run again. I think San Diego might be nice for a while.”

She laughed, but she also sounded like she was crying.

The room started spinning around me. “Did you see the men?”

“No. But I wasn’t taking the risk. Maybe you should take a leave of absence and come meet me here, Tovah. Warm weather will be lovely. And then I’ll know you’re safe.”

I clenched my teeth. As scared as I was, as much as I’d like to see my mother, I had to see this through. Had to get to the root of the Silvers’ crimes and expose them once and for all. I couldn’t go to her, not when the most important thing for me to do was protect her.

Besides, I doubted Isaac would let me get away that easily. If I tried to run, he’d chase me, and all I’d end up doing was lead him and his family directly to my mom.

And, if I were honest, the thought of leaving him made my heart feel like it was ripping apart.

“I can’t, mom,” I told her. “I have too much to do here.”

“School doesn’t matter as much as your safety, darling,” she argued.

She was right. But there was nothing else I could say. “I’m being safe, I promise.”

“Tovah—”

“Mom, I have to go,” I lied. “Someone’s coming. You be safe, too, okay? Let me know when you’re safe. Make sure no one is tailing you. Switch the car out as soon as you can.”

“I know, honey,” she said. “I taught you those tricks, remember?”

I did remember. All the times we’d been on the run together were embedded into my brain, a lifetime of cautiousness and fear and never, ever feeling free.

“I love you,” I said.

“Love you too, Tovahleh. Check in with me in a couple days, okay? Or I’ll worry.”

So would I.

“I will,” I promised, before hanging up.

Pocketing the phone, I planted my hands on the sink in front of me, staring into the mirror. A woman, angry, desperate, and determined, stared back at me. Her dark eyes promised perseverance and retribution. Her lips were set in a firm, resolute line.

It didn’t matter how complicated my relationship with Isaac had grown. Or that I had feelings for him, real and confusing. My mother always had and always would come first, and that meant I would do every goddamned thing in my power to protect her. She was going to be sitting in the audience at my college graduation, safe and worry free. Even if I had to go against my own morals and hurt Isaac to make it happen.

Exhaling slowly and releasing the guilt that my thoughts had caused, I turned away from the mirror and pulled back out the phone, sending a text to Sebastian, who had one of the few phone numbers I’d memorized.

Does your Fire and Hail brother have any Vice left?

Sebastian responded immediately.

Probably. Why?

I need it for something.

Something? Or someone?

You know the answer to that.

Just be careful. I don’t want you getting into more than you can handle…

I can handle this.

I’ll leave it in a hollowed-out book for you at M Libe’s check-out desk.

He always thought of everything. Malek Library, or M Libe, was the social sciences library, where we both spent most of our studying time. I had every excuse to be there.

Thank you.

With that conversation done, I hid the phone at the bottom of my purse, going to the bathroom door and unlocking it.

Lawson was scanning the hallway.

“There you are, damn it, Tovah. You disappeared on me.”

“I had to pee, and you were gone a while,” I fibbed. “Where did you go?”

“Thought I saw someone I recognized. Wasn’t her.”

The investigative reporter in me that could sense a good story glanced at him. “Her?”

He shrugged. “She’s from a long time ago. Better left in the past.”

“Really?”

He sighed. “No, not really. But there’s nothing I can do about it, so I’m forcing myself to leave it in the past. Saw someone who looked like her and I had a flashback to … well,” he said ruefully, “I was a different man back then. He’s better left in the past, too.”

That was interesting.

He spotted Asher in the quad.

“Okay, handing you off to your next bodyguard,” he said.

“Don’t you mean babysitter? Or warden?” I said.

He paused to look at me. “No, I mean bodyguard. I know you think we’re just here to keep you from doing whatever it is that Jones doesn’t want you to do, but he’s made it explicitly clear that our first priority is to keep you safe.”

With those shocking words, he handed me off to Asher, leaving me with questions I was afraid to ask.

“I don’t know why the fuck I’m doing what these assholes want,” Asher said as we walked through campus. “But here I am, doing it.”

“It’s nice to have friends,” I told him. “Even if those friends are completely?—”

“Unhinged assholes?” he offered, and we both laughed.

“Your sister loves Jack,” I said. “So I guess that means we’re stuck with them.”

We walked a bit in silence, before Asher asked, “What about you?”

“What do you mean, what about me?”

“What are you doing with a charmer like Jones? I wouldn’t have thought he was your type.”

“Oh, yeah? And what is my type?”

“Scholarly. Slight. Nice. Probably a little bit of a doormat.”

I considered this for a minute. Asher was right, in a sense. Once upon a time, I thought that was my type. But either I had changed on my own or Isaac had changed me, because now my type was big, tall, bossy jock dickhead with dimples that made my heart squeeze.

And I didn’t think that was changing anytime soon.

“I need to go pick up a book from the library,” I told him.

He smiled at me affectionately, rubbing the top of my head.

“Of course you do, nerd.”