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chapter forty-five

Tuck

The journey from the San Fernando Valley back to the border Emily had crossed with Leon and Layne took far longer than I’d hoped. There was really no traveling by car anymore—there were too many barricades to cover any ground. But I wasn’t surprised that so many more had popped up in a few days’ time—those who’d found a small plot of safety with even a few resources had staked their claim and erected whatever walls they were able.

By the time I’d made it to the spot where I’d said goodbye to Emily, the moon was high in the sky and, though I had plenty of food, I was running low on water. I took the tiniest of sips from my canteen, returned it to my backpack and then rounded the bend where the concrete barriers sat, a lone man patrolling, a rifle strapped to his broad chest.

As I moved closer, the burly man noticed me, standing straight, his fingers inching toward his weapon. I raised my hands and approached. “Stay back,” he said, removing his gun, but holding it by his side rather than pointing it at me. He looked weary, his face slightly gaunt even if his muscles were still impressive.

I halted. “I was here a few days ago and the men patrolling let my friends pass through. I don’t want to stay, I just need to get to someone who’s in San Diego.”

“No one passes through.”

I let out a frustrated breath. “Please. If someone wants to escort me—”

“Not allowed.” He raised his rifle and used it to gesture behind me. “Turn around.”

“I have food,” I said. “In the backpack. Granola bars and a few cans too. I’ll give it all to you.”

The man shook his head, and again, I sensed his fatigue and the fact that, whereas some might find satisfaction in the newfound power, he didn’t enjoy this job. “I don’t need your food.”

I wanted to scream. I wanted to leap over this barrier and attack, to run around him despite his threats and take my chances. Emily was on the other side of that made-up line. I released a slow breath. Getting myself killed wouldn’t do any good. I’d have to figure out a way around.

“But… I’ll trade your necklace for passage,” he said.

For a second his words didn’t compute. Still confused, I looked down as I remembered that I’d put on my uncle’s cross necklace before setting out. It’d been a last-minute decision, the hope that wearing this would mean a part of him was with me, and perhaps even guiding my way.

I removed the necklace, approaching slowly and holding it toward him. He kept eye contact, his gun lowering. The closer I got, the more I noticed how tired he appeared, with dark patches smudged beneath his eyes. Just like so many, this man had obviously been through some form of hell. And he’d found refuge behind this wall, but he didn’t relish turning others away. That too was wearing on him.

The guard reached his hand out, and I put the necklace in his palm, his thumb sliding over the silver cross, his breath releasing on a sigh. “The things people are doing to survive…so much betrayal everywhere,” he murmured.

My heart jumped and I swallowed. And for whatever reason, Leon’s face popped into my mind. We’d both trusted him. There didn’t seem reason not to. But what if…what if he had other motives for leading Emily to that safety zone on a hill?

I couldn’t think that way without any evidence or it’d make me crazy. But I suddenly felt even more desperate to get to her. To make sure she was okay.

The guard turned away from me, set his gun down, and began putting the necklace around his neck. “Go,” he said quietly. “They’ll shoot at you if they see you.”

So much betrayal everywhere .

I hurriedly skirted the barrier, jogging forward, toward Emily. God, please let her be safe.