Page 13

chapter twelve

Tuck

The ride to the airport was spent listening to Charlie talk business with some director or another. Frankly, I was happy to have the time to sit in relative silence with Emily. For the first time since I’d started working for her, it felt mostly comfortable. I felt like we’d found a new understanding at her apartment a couple days before. Even if we weren’t going to be friends again, we weren’t going to be at odds either.

I could finally settle into my job and begin rebuilding my life. Planning. Strategizing. Thinking about where I wanted to be and where, ultimately, I might fit in.

This wasn’t it. Frankly, I had no real idea where or what or how I’d finally find a sense of purpose, because in so many ways, I was still floundering. This was merely a means to an end, which was fine for now. And hopefully my presence would bring Emily the peace of mind she needed to focus solely on her job and becoming…whatever it was she wanted to become.

Win. Win.

The car pulled onto an airfield and came to a stop. I opened the door of the limo just as the driver was rounding the car. “Sorry, sir. I’ve got that.”

“Hey, no problem,” I said as I got out. I didn’t want other people opening doors for me. It felt off.

Charlie climbed out, slipping the guy some cash. “Thanks, Cory,” he said as the guy nodded, hurrying to the trunk to retrieve our bags.

A few minutes later I was climbing the short set of steps to the private plane as Emily and Charlie waited for Cory to unload one piece of luggage after another. I swung my singular duffel bag through the door, lowering my head as I entered the cabin.

Wow.

Now this…this I could get used to. I’d only flown once before, when my parents and I had traveled to my grandpa’s funeral in Seattle. My family hadn’t had much time for vacations. It was too difficult to find people to care for all the crops and animals when the three of us were a vital part of the team who ran the place. We’d gone away for a weekend here and there, but always somewhere within driving distance.

I remembered that flight well though, and these conditions were in a completely different league.

This was class.

This was money.

Swiveling, camel-colored leather seats that were large enough to ensure even the most sizable man was comfortable. Polished mahogany paneling that made up the walls of the cabin. A glass-cased beverage/snack bar along the back wall that held all manner of in-air sustenance.

The pilot ducked out of the cockpit just as I was sitting down in a seat on the left side of the cabin. There was an empty seat next to me, and across the aisle, two more seats for Emily and Charlie. The pilot took the few steps to where I sat, shaking my hand and smiling. “Hi, I’m Russell Martin. I’ll be flying you to New York today. It looks like it’ll be a smooth flight.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Tuck, Emily’s security.”

“Ah, great. Well, I don’t expect any trouble in the skies today, but you never know,” he said on a laugh.

Emily and Charlie bustled in, Cory behind them draped in garment bags and holding a suitcase in each hand. Russell stepped aside and I looked out the window at the airfield as they got situated across the aisle and then greeted the pilot.

“Want me to toss that up into the overhead bin?” Cory asked, nodding to my duffel bag at my feet.

“Oh, ah, sure,” I said. I removed my current paperback from the side pocket before handing it to him. “Thanks.”

Cory wished us a good flight and headed out the door, and Russell closed it behind him and returned to the cockpit, only separated by a short, navy blue curtain.

“Tuck, I’m going to grab myself a beverage. Would you like anything?” Charlie asked.

“A water would be great. Thanks.”

Charlie stepped to the back of the plane and returned a minute later with a water for me and Emily, and a soda for himself.

“Buckle up,” Emily said, turning her head my way as she stretched the belt across her body, her arm accentuating her breasts. I looked quickly away, clicking my own seat belt into place.

We taxied to the runway, and as the plane started lifting into the sky, I glanced over at Emily, who was staring straight ahead, eyes wide, knuckles white as she gripped the armrests. Next to her, Charlie calmly sipped his drink, completely oblivious to the fact that she was clearly a nervous flyer.

Which was confusing since he had to have flown with her at least a few times before this. And he’d never noticed what I could see in a single glance?

I turned my head and looked out the window. I already knew that Charlie was more than met the eye. And not in a good way.

The plane rose, and then leveled out, and though it was a small aircraft, the ride to cruising altitude was mostly smooth.

It was a beautiful day, the sky powder blue and dotted with silver-tinged clouds. I felt strangely free, as if all my problems were still on the ground, and up here, I was only me , completely washed clean of all I’d left behind.

Part of me wanted this flight to last forever. Nothing would take away what I did or who it affected, but racing through the clouds, it felt as though none of that existed. As if I’d never fucked up anything. As if I didn’t have a past that would be a proverbial manacle for the rest of my life. I’d been somewhat unwilling to “go there” in my head as of late when there were more pressing matters to address—namely, the ability to eat—but I knew I’d have to, eventually. I knew I should , eventually. But up here, the temporary sensation of freedom felt more than welcome.

I sighed, glancing over at Emily, and her eyes widened slightly as though whatever was on my face had surprised her. She gave me a small, wobbly smile.

Charlie said something to her, and she leaned into him, laughing softly and then taking his hand in hers, squeezing it. I turned toward the window again, removing my paperback from the pocket on the wall and cracking it open. For the next couple of hours, I buried my nose in my book, tuning out the soft murmurs and occasional laughter from Emily and Charlie.

“Darn, I left my lip gloss in my purse,” I heard Emily say from next to me. “My lips always get so chapped on flights.”

“Do you want me to grab it for you?” Charlie asked.

Emily unbuckled. “No, it’s fine. I’m right here. I think my purse is near the front.” She stood, opening the overhead bin, her ass in my face as she began rustling through the bags overhead. I dog-eared the page I’d stopped on and placed the book on the seat next to me. “Shoot,” she said just as a number of items fell to the floor and rolled beneath my seat. I leaned down to start gathering them.

Emily bent too, and our heads bumped, both of us letting out a sound of surprise, and then laughing as we pulled back.

“Sorry,” we both said at the same time. She laughed again, shaking her head and picking up a bag that was at her feet. It must have been upside down because as she lifted it, a pile of small baggies fell out, fluttering to the ground.

Emily gasped, squatting and bending toward the contents. “What is this?” she asked, her hand hovering over what I could now see were baggies of pills and powders. Oh shit. Charlie had brought the drugs I’d heard him discussing aboard this flight. And the shocked look on Emily’s face answered any questions I might have had about her knowledge of Charlie’s drug use.

Charlie had finally leaned forward to see what all the commotion was, and when he caught sight of the baggies, I saw the panic that altered his features. “What is this?” Emily asked, waving her hand over the scattered contents.

I met Charlie’s eyes just as he masked the panic that had quickly flared. He tilted his head, appearing very suddenly baffled. “Tuck,” he said, “answer her question. What is this? Are you dealing?” he asked, gesturing to the baggies still littering the floor.

I jerked my head back and then came to my feet. “Are you kidding me? You know very well those are yours.”

“ What? ” Emily said, her voice rising an octave as she too rose. “That’s not possible. Charlie isn’t into drugs. He’d have nothing to do with them.” She looked so distraught, clearly very upset by the mere idea of her perfect boyfriend having anything to do with illegal substances. As she should be. But he wasn’t only a drug user, he was a blatant liar.

Charlie stood up and put his hand on her arm. “Emily, babe, you know I’d never be involved with drugs in any way. I don’t even drink alcohol.”

I reached up, massaging my jaw. Charlie shook his head as he regarded me, the look of disappointed sorrow on his face almost making me question his guilt. He was an actor after all. “Tuck though, well, his history speaks for itself.”

“You piece of shit,” I said, taking a step toward him as I realized he was really going to go with this angle.

Emily reached up and placed her palm on my chest. “Stop it,” she said. “You are not going to physically intimidate Charlie.”

“Physically intimidate? He’s lying about me.”

Charlie made a sound of disgust in his throat. “Please. I have no reason whatsoever to lie about you.”

A scorching flame of anger ignited inside me. His lies sounded sincere. The innocent expression on his face looked genuine. And worst of all, even I knew that it made more sense that someone like me was involved in drugs.

But Emily knew me. At least she’d known me once.

But she also knew what I became.

I felt a bead of sweat drip down my spine. This was not just some silly accusation. Possession of this many illegal drugs was a felony. Charlie was making an accusation to get himself out of hot water with his girlfriend, but to me, this was life or death. If they went to the authorities and they were believed, I could go back to prison. “Emily,” I said. She turned her face toward me. “I’m not a part of that world anymore.” I looked at Charlie, shooting daggers at him.

A tear coursed down Emily’s cheek. “I get you needed the money, Tuck, but—”

“That. Is. Not. Mine,” I said. It felt like frustration and fear had me in a chokehold. The plane gave a little bump and Emily took a small step toward me. “Em,” I said, trying to appeal to that part of her hopefully still there. My friend. The one who might know I’d made some really bad mistakes, and that I’d run with a rough crowd, but that I’d never let someone else take the fall for me. “You know me better than that.” I met her eyes. “I’m not that person.”

“Oh please,” Charlie inserted again. “You’re exactly that person. You’re a felon. Emily, come on, he served time. It’s part of the lifestyle.” He met my eyes. “She gave you a second chance, and this is how you repay her?” He made a sound of disgust in the back of his throat. “Sorry to say, but this was obviously a bad idea, babe.”

My blood simmered, temperature rising. I was thirty thousand feet above the earth where it’d seemed that, for a short time, I’d left all my problems behind. But that wasn’t true. It’d never be true.

Still, I tried one more time. “Look at me. I’m not lying.”

Emily looked back and forth between me and Charlie and for a moment, I held my breath, daring to believe that she’d see in her heart that, above all else, I’d never put her in a position like this. No matter who was suggesting I had. “Please, Em, you know me.”

She looked down, shook her head. She seemed so torn, and it hurt me. It hurt me to my core. “You’re different, Tuck. You’re not that kid anymore.” She pointed to the baggies. “Clearly.”

The simmering frustration boiled over. It mixed with anger and pain. Because part of me knew she was right. I wasn’t that kid anymore. I didn’t need the reminder. I’d done a lot of bad things, highly regrettable choices I’d be paying for, for the rest of my life. But I’d never dealt drugs. And more important than that, I would never put Emily in a position that might jeopardize her safety in any way. And I’d never lie and let someone else take the blame for my actions.

For a few minutes there at her apartment, I’d thought we connected. I’d thought she looked at me the way she had once because she remembered our friendship. She remembered me. The important parts. But I was wrong. It didn’t matter. In the end, it didn’t matter at all.

“You’ve given me no choice but to fire you,” Emily said, pulling herself straight. “I can’t have a drug dealer on my security team. When we land, I’ll arrange a flight back to LA for you and a driver will take you to the hotel where you’ll gather your things.”

My gaze landed on Charlie once more, and I saw the minute twitch of his lips. He was really going to stand by as I paid the price for this. A part of him was enjoying it. If I tried to fight it, to plead my case, it would be my word against his. I didn’t stand a chance against Hollywood’s golden boy. It wouldn’t only get back to my probation officer, it’d be all over the tabloids. I’d be connected to this forever. If I thought I’d been ruined before…

Charlie wrapped his arm around Emily’s shoulders and pulled her to him. A united front. A red haze filled my vision.

“You wanna know who you are?” I said to Charlie. “A lying phony with zero honor. And you,” I said, my gaze moving to Emily. “You’re nothing but a caricature of what you used to be. A cheap knockoff.”

Her face blanched, and she gasped, a sound that sent satisfaction shooting through my veins, bolstering me. “There’s not one thing about you that’s true or authentic. No wonder that piece of shit likes you so much. You deserve each other.”

“How dare—”

“How dare I? I’ve been wanting to say this since the moment I walked into your apartment and saw you. You’re a sellout. They could have picked up any pretty girl off the street and created Nova. Your producers didn’t need talent. They needed compliance. And you bought into it, hook, line and sinker. And you’ll think about what I’m saying long after I’m gone, because deep inside, you know it’s true.”

“That’s enough,” Charlie said. “Don’t say another word to her.”

My gaze hung on Emily, whose face was set in frozen shock. “Happily,” I gritted. And with that, I turned, sliding into the farthest seat from them and turning toward the window. I was vibrating with rage and injustice, and I sat in stony silence, the anger festering as they retook their seats, whispering to each other from the other side of the plane. Under any other circumstances, I would have gotten up and left. Too bad doing that would mean plunging to my death thirty thousand feet below.

It almost seemed like the better option.

As if in response to my thought, the plane jolted, causing two of the bags overhead to tumble out of the open compartment.

Emily let out a little squeak, and alarmed, I stood and shut the compartment. Emily had obviously tossed the drugs back in the bag or somewhere else while I’d been turned away, because they were no longer on the floor. The curtain to the cockpit remained closed. I assumed the pilot, Russell, had a headset on, which was a good thing for him, as he hadn’t had to endure the tense exchange between the three of us.

I sat back down in my seat and strapped my belt on. Just some turbulence.

“My Wi-Fi isn’t working,” I heard Emily mutter to Charlie.

“That happens,” Charlie said. “Give it a few minutes.”

Emily sighed and I turned more fully to the window just as the nose of the plane dipped, foisting me suddenly forward.

Holy shit. What the hell is happening?