Page 29

chapter twenty-eight

Emily

We hopped off the truck just outside what looked like a military facility, with barbed wire stretched around at least several warehouses. There were milky lights positioned here and there that must be running off a generator, and so we followed Tuck through the shadows to the side of the entrance, crouching as we moved. “What is this place?” I whispered. “And why are they picking up kids?”

“I don’t know,” he murmured. “But it doesn’t look good.”

“Can we leave now?” Charlie asked. “I get that you’re trying to make amends for your past by pretending to be Batman or some shit, but—”

I elbowed Charlie in the side.

“Oof.”

He shot me a glare, and Tuck ignored him, moving farther along the fence to better see inside, past the spot where the truck had turned. He looked concerned, and I agreed that anyone who was scooping up kids right now should be considered highly suspect and likely dangerous. “What do you think they’re doing in there?” I whispered.

Tuck gave me a thin-lipped stare. “If I knew, would I have my face pressed against a fence? I’m trying to figure it out. Maybe you could help.”

“Okay, Snappy. I am helping,” I said, leaning forward and widening my eyes to glare at him more fully.

He leaned in too, our noses almost touching. “How is asking obvious questions supposed to—”

There was a cracking noise behind us, one I’d heard before. It was the sound of a gun cocking. “Don’t make a fucking move.” A breath lodged in my throat, my heart jumping as my muscles froze. Next to me, Charlie and Tuck had gone still as well. I only dared to move my eyeballs, right to Tuck, and then left to Charlie, and back to Tuck.

“Stand up nice and slow and show your hands.”

Tuck gave a small nod and then began rising, Charlie and I following suit. We all raised our hands in the air. “Now turn around and face me.” Oh God, oh God . We were going to be shot by the men tossing kids into a truck and carting them to these fenced-off warehouses. My true nightmare was about to begin. I clenched my eyes shut and turned to face the maniacs who were threatening us. With the light behind the fence, I couldn’t see the three men’s faces, just their shapes. They were big and muscular, and they had rifles that could mow us down if we tried to run.

“Hello, sir,” I squeaked. “Sirs, that is. We only—”

“As I live and breathe. Tucker Mattice? Is that you?”

My head whipped toward Tuck, and he shielded his eyes, squinting toward the biggest of the men who was standing in the middle. “Hosea Hardy?”

What the hell?

“Are you shittin’ me?” The man apparently named Hosea lowered his gun, and then gestured for the other men to do the same before he took a step toward Tuck. He let out a gruff laugh and then he grabbed Tuck, wrapping his arm around him as he gave him one of those man hugs that looked more like an attack than anything. But Tuck didn’t seem to mind, his laugh relaying delighted surprise.

“How the hell are you here?” Tuck asked.

“Man, I got transferred to Leavenworth, remember? It’s not far from here.”

“Yeah, hell yeah, I remember, but I thought you had a few years left.”

“I did. Come on in and I’ll tell you about it.” Hosea paused, scrutinizing me and Charlie, who were standing there frozen with our mouths partially open. “These two okay?”

Tuck’s eyes landed on Charlie for a moment, and I thought he might throw him to the wolves, which honestly, maybe I couldn’t have blamed him for, but Tuck just nodded, and then Hosea put his arm around Tuck’s neck and we all took up behind them, the man’s deep laugh floating to us as he and Tuck chatted.

They walked us back to the front gate, where another man with a rifle opened the latch and waved us through. The lights were a little brighter in here, the first illumination other than the moon or stars that I’d seen in six days, and I blinked around, trying to understand what this was. The warehouse buildings had obviously already been here, but along with those were a few large tents, and a row of portable toilets far back to our left. We followed Hosea and the other two through a door of one of the warehouses and walked into a large open space with what looked like fifty cots or so on one side, and cafeteria-style tables with attached benches set up on the other.

“Come on, you hungry? There’s some food left.”

As if responding to the word, my stomach let out a loud growl. Tuck’s head turned in response to the noise, and I gave him a weak smile. We sat down at the end of a table, and Hosea stepped away and said something to a woman standing nearby who nodded and walked away. Hosea came back and took a seat on the opposite side of the table where Tuck was sitting and turned to face us. “Who are your friends, Tuck?”

“Emily Swanson and Charlie Cannon,” Tuck said. The woman Hosea had spoken to came through a door carrying a tray. She brought it over to us, setting it down with a smile. There were three plates with covers piled on top of each other and Hosea doled one out to all three of us. I opened the lid to see what looked like some chicken salad, a few canned pears, and a slice of bread.

“Oh, thank you,” I breathed, picking the slice up and inhaling the yeasty scent. I tried not to cry, but tears sprung to my eyes and I blinked them away before taking a bite and moaning as I chewed.

“Tell me about this place,” Tuck said after he’d swallowed a mouthful of food. “Who’s running it?”

“A few scattered military units were able to join up by using ham radios and are out trying to help. But it’s been overwhelming to say the least.”

Tuck eyed him. “You broke out of Leavenworth when the power went down?”

“Yup. It was fucking crazy, man. I was out in the yard when the event happened. The guards started scrambling to herd us inside. Only a few generators powered up, and so we were all ushered into one area. To make a long story short, fights broke out. Two guards were killed, and things got really ugly. We could hear men yelling from their cells where they were locked inside in other sections of the prison that had no power. After about twenty-four hours, it became clear this was bigger than it seemed at first and that no one was coming, not even to pick up the bodies. The rest of the guards had already started deserting their posts. After that, finding a way out wasn’t too difficult.”

A shiver crept over my skin. I thought of the prisoners in those locked cells. Had anyone helped them to get out? Or were some of them still there, sitting in the frigid dark, slowly dying of starvation? They were inmates, there because they’d hurt and victimized others, but they were also human and it was a very cruel way to go.

“Anyway,” Hosea went on. “I switched out my clothes at a Walmart that was already practically stripped bare, and then ended up hitching a ride with a couple of the men who set this operation up when they realized emergency services were down. They figured out pretty quickly which vehicles were running and sent crews out to hotwire cars sitting on streets or in dealerships or wherever they could be found. They told me about what they were doing and said they needed muscle.” He smiled and flexed his massive bicep, his teeth extra white in the midst of his deep brown skin.

“You do have those in spades,” Tuck said.

“I’m sure they’d find a place for you too. We need people with special skills, somewhat outside the norm,” Hosea said with a wink.

Tuck’s gaze flicked to us, then away, and though my stomach was currently being filled by blessed bread, it dropped slightly. “Can’t. I have responsibilities at the moment,” he said. “But…maybe once that’s done…”

Responsibilities.

Hosea nodded and then smiled. “Tucker Mattice. I never imagined I’d see you again. What happened to you three to bring you here?”

“Our plane crashed when the grid went down.”

“Well shit.”

“That’s about right.”

Hosea looked at Charlie and me and put his hand on Tuck’s shoulder. “This is a good man right here. Taught me to read. Taught plenty of others how to read too. Changed some lives for the better.”

I swallowed. Oh.

Tuck looked away, his cheeks coloring. My heart thumped. Of course he’d taught people to read while in prison. You and your damn books. I had this intense desire to hug him, to throw my arms around him and squeeze him tight. I wondered what he’d do if I did. “Man, I was bored,” Tuck muttered. “What else was I gonna do?”

Hosea chuckled. “Still full of shit, I see.”

“What’s the plan here, going forward?” Tuck asked, obviously changing the subject.

“For now, without communication, the units here are acting outside any official capacity. These warehouses are food facilities. Got a whole stock of canned and boxed food. They secured this location right away. They’re problem-solvers, man. They’ve been out gathering whatever they believe might come in handy, they moved in the portable toilets from the baseball field and fencing too. Others have been out siphoning gas from otherwise useless cars so we can keep powering working generators for as long as possible. It’s been a bona fide operation for the past week.”

“Why are some generators working and some not?” I asked.

“Most aren’t working, even with fuel,” Hosea said. “The electronics inside are fried like everything else. But we’ve found a few that were in basements or other storage locations that seemed to have protected them from the surge. They’ll work as long as we have gasoline and then those will be useless hunks of metal too.”

We were all quiet for a moment before Tuck asked, “What’s the long-term goal?”

“That changes day to day. It’s a fluid situation. But for now, other than collecting necessities, we’re focused on picking up kids who were left behind for one reason or another—parents never came home from work, got separated… You know how it goes. There are already predators out trolling. Hell, some of them escaped the same place I did.”

Oh, we knew about predators. We’d learned plenty about them in the past week. But we’d also learned how many generous people there were too. I stuck the last bite of bread in my mouth and then licked my fingers.

“We’re getting a medical tent set up too, but right now, don’t have any medical staff. Like I said, it’s fluid.”

“You’re doing good work,” I said, glancing back at the cots where several teenagers were sitting and reading or chatting. God, how many people had been stranded alone in all this? How many children and teens, and heck, women like me? What if Tuck and Charlie had died in that plane crash along with Russell and I’d found myself out in the middle of a cold field with no idea what to do or where to go? I wrapped my arms around myself to ward off the growing chill, even though it was warm enough inside because of all the body heat, and I had a full belly.

“Thanks,” Hosea said. “It feels good to be useful.” He smiled. “And you wanna know something funny? It feels good to be one of the good guys. Never thought I’d say that. Never thought I’d be given an opportunity to say that.”

Tuck squeezed Hosea’s shoulder. “They’re lucky to have you.”

“Do you have intel about what’s going on? What caused all this?” Charlie asked. “Everything we’ve heard so far is just speculation.”

Hosea took a swig from the water bottle he’d set down on the table next to him. “The military, at least what’s left of it, is saying it was a massive solar flare that took out our grid.” He looked from Charlie to Tuck. “Apparently, it wasn’t only one. Several hit, and over the span of about a day.”

“A solar flare,” I murmured. I remembered that Sheriff Goodfellow had said a professor in town had guessed that too. “So, we’re not at war.” Which was a relief and one I’d take. Because while this had obviously created a colossal disaster, it was one that could be fixed soon. Right?

“We are at war,” Hosea said, dashing my hopes. “In some ways anyway. But not from an outside army, at least not yet.”

“Are there repairs being made?” Charlie asked, and I detected that note of shrill panic in his tone that made me worry he was about to have another meltdown.

But the truth was, I felt a little shrill as well. “ Can the grid be repaired?” I asked, thinking of the college kid who’d said an electronic system ran most of society, even dams . “It can be, right?”

Tuck was staring off behind me, his brows knitted. Hosea’s steady gaze hung on me as he answered, “Eventually, yes.”

Eventually. The word rang in my head, an ominous echo.

“Some of the parts needed aren’t even made in America anymore,” he continued.

“That seems like a recipe for disaster,” Tuck said.

“You think?” Hosea met each of our eyes in turn. “We all just got a crash course in how vulnerable we were to the system. Too bad it came too late. Hasn’t quite been a week and already so many have died. Plane and automobile accidents. Fires. Floods. Those who needed life-saving machines or medicine are gone or will be very soon. Elderly living alone and kids who got abandoned are next. Disease might wipe people out in large numbers. There’s already a cholera situation in Topeka. Sicknesses that have been all but eradicated for decades will start to return. Violence is going to erupt everywhere.”

My God. I stood up. “Can I go use one of those Porta Pottis?” I asked. I needed a second. I needed air. Plus, I’d been squatting in the woods as of late. A Porta Potti was going to feel positively luxurious. I almost laughed but held it back, worried it’d come out sharp and crazed. My, how a handful of days could alter a person’s perception.

“Is that water over there?” Charlie asked, perhaps needing a moment too.

“Yup to you both.” Hosea turned. “Kelvin, do you want to escort the lady to the powder room?” The man named Kelvin wearing military fatigues nodded and gestured for me to follow him.

“And help yourself to a bottle of water. It’s been boiled and filtered.”

Charlie stood and headed toward the water, and I followed Kelvin out the back door and around the building to the row of toilets. I did my business, deciding that despite the appreciation for the toilet paper, I preferred the outdoors to a smelly, windowless cube.

It’d made me think, again, of the prisoners locked in dark cells, my mind reeling to all the people who were probably trapped right now. Coal miners in lightless caverns under the earth…families on tiny cars at the peak of a roller coaster ride… I gasped out a breath and stumbled toward the light. Stop, Emily. Stop.

There was a table set up with a number of bottles of hand sanitizer and I doused myself liberally, the sharp scent of alcohol serving to still my careening thoughts. I pulled in deep breaths, calming as I stared up at the yellow moon, nestled in the deep-purple sky, a light breeze lifting the hair around my face.

When I reentered the building, my eyes landed on Tuck, who was looking my way. His shoulders seemed to lower subtly, and I wondered if he’d been tense while I was out of his sight. I felt a small tickle between my ribs and raised my hand as though I could scratch it from the outside. A hand latched on to my arm, and I startled, looking up to see Charlie. “Hey.”

“Hey,” he said, glancing around. “I just talked to a girl over there.” He surreptitiously pointed to a pretty blonde teen chatting near the door. “She recognized me too.” He flashed me a self-satisfied grin. “Get this. Her dad has a classic car collec tion and she’s thinking about taking off. Her parents were in Asia when this happened, and obviously didn’t make it home. Anyway, her house caught fire and that’s why she’s here, but the garage is untouched. Em.” He reached out and moved a piece of hair off my cheek. “She said she’s willing to head west and we could go with her.”

“Charlie, I’m not leaving here with some random girl who barely looks old enough to drive.”

“She’s nineteen. And she’s got a good head on her shoulders. You should hear the way she recites my film lines from memory…”

Charlie droned on, my gaze going to his mouth as it moved but my brain tuning out the sound, his face blurring as my mind wandered. Instead, I pictured Tuck dragging Russell’s body from the burning plane, that vision morphing into him bandaging my wound, and then gently examining Brent’s arm. More memories danced through my mind, one after another… Tuck fighting the man on the buggy in order to save us, returning with food gathered in whatever way was necessary, ministering to Isaac’s injury. I clenched my eyes shut, shame engulfing me, Charlie’s useless drivel continuing on and on and on.

Suddenly my whole body felt hot, like I was boiling inside, and I had this urge to dig my fingers into his eye sockets and watch that fake expression crumble. My balance wobbled and for a moment a weird silence filled my head before reality came crashing back.

Tuck, Tuck, Tuck. Tuck hadn’t cared about the drugs on that plane, certainly hadn’t tried to dash back into the fiery cabin to retrieve them, clearly only concerned with collecting items that would ensure our survival. Tuck had only shown bravery and kindness and heroism on this journey where everyone’s real nature revealed itself. He’d proved his character moment after moment in every high-stress situation imaginable. Charlie was the one who’d been selfish and weak and mostly uninterested in the suffering of others.

What I’d learned was that when push came to shove, Charlie looked out for number one.

I felt like I’d swallowed a razor blade, and it was moving slowly through my system. It was so clear to me now, and I wondered how I’d ever been so blind.

“Charlie,” I said, cutting him off midsentence as his face came back into focus. “Those were your drugs.”

He paused as if going over my words once and then again. “What? What are you accusing me of?”

“Don’t try to lie, Charlie. I already know.”

His expression became placid, and he blinked in that way that he did when acting the part of the wrongly accused. “What is it you think you know, Emily?”

“Stop. Enough. Enough lies.” I glanced over at Tuck, who was watching us across the space. Even from here I could tell he was tense. I knew he’d spring up and rescue me if I so much as gave the smallest indication I needed him. All he’d done since we’d started on this journey was help others and rescue those being victimized in ways few others would. Tuck hadn’t dealt drugs that would hurt people and maybe even kill them, and he certainly hadn’t lied and blamed his own sins on Charlie. The very idea seemed ridiculous now. Whatever Tuck’s mistakes, he didn’t purposely hurt others, and he took responsibility for his misdeeds.

And me? I was a blind fool who’d fallen for Charlie’s lies.

Charlie ran a hand through his greasy hair, pausing as if deciding whether or not to be truthful. His expression was so earnest, the one I’d seen on the screen so many times, the one that made him look both innocent and wise. But he’d been acting then, and he was acting now. Charlie was a good actor, but not as good as he thought he was. “Okay, listen, Emily. You know the pressure of being a star as big as me. It’s so damn in tense. Sometimes I feel like the world’s on my shoulders.” He looked off to the side, and then met my eyes, beseeching. “And yeah, so I took the edge off with a few pills. All those crowds, the legions of fans screaming my name, the expectations to be on every minute of every day.” He let out a staggered breath as if releasing all his pent-up stress. “But all that’s in the past. If this last week has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t need that stuff. Maybe it took this situation for me to realize how strong I really am.”

I gaped, almost tempted to laugh. If I wasn’t trembling with anger and shame, I might have. “Strong? You think you’re strong ? You’re the weakest man I ever met. You threw Tuck under the bus and blamed him for what you did. My God.” I put my palm to my forehead. “You were willing to watch Tuck go back to prison rather than take responsibility for those drugs. He called you out and you still continued to lie.” I felt nauseous at the thought of what might have happened if our plane hadn’t gone down, if we’d landed and I’d watched as Charlie reported Tuck for the drugs Charlie knew very well were his. But Charlie wasn’t the only one to blame. Yes, he had fooled me, but I’d let myself be fooled. And maybe, in some sense, it had been easier for me to believe Tuck was now a bad person, because otherwise, I’d have to admit my deep, and apparently unrelenting, attraction toward him. Not that any of that even mattered now. The point was, Charlie was a dishonorable, lying dick and it was over between him and me. “How could I ever look at you the same way again, Charlie? You make me sick. When we get back, we’ll go our separate ways.”

Anger flashed in his eyes, another crack in his armor. “Jesus, Emily. You’re making too much of this. None of that even matters. Those drugs are now ash in some field. No one’s going back to prison. Just let it go.”

But I couldn’t because it wasn’t the drugs themselves, it was his character I wanted no part of. If he could do that, what else was he capable of? “Tuck is going to help us get back to California, despite the fact that you lied about him and blamed him for what you did.”

“You’re the one who fired him.”

His words felt like a punch because they were true. I had. I’d fired Tuck based on lies. I’d believed Charlie even though Tuck had begged me not to and I felt overwhelming guilt now because of that. “You’re right, I did. I should have seen through you, and I didn’t. I take responsibility for that.”

Charlie huffed. “Whatever. Listen, they have cots set up for us next door, including a locker and some clothes. I’m wiped and we’re both saying things we don’t mean. I’m going to get out of this bullshit—” he pointed down to his dirty outfit and disgusting shoes “—and get some sleep.” He leaned toward me. “Think about what I said, Emily. We can start fresh. Leave him behind and get back on track. I know we can.”

“Not a chance. Good night, Charlie.”

He paused but then turned and walked away.

I began strolling along the far wall, just needing to move for a few minutes before I faced Tuck again. How was it that he didn’t despise me? Or…well, maybe he did, and if so, he had every right to. I flashed back to that moment on the plane, the way his eyes had beseeched me, the words he’d used. You know me, Em. And I felt even sicker.

And yes, I did know Tucker Mattice. Or I had. He was the boy who’d broken my heart. And all these years, all this time and it still wasn’t completely healed. It still ached for him. And I’d do anything to make that stop.

Had I believed Charlie’s lies in part due to self-preservation? Had I wanted to think Tuck was capable of unforgivable misdeeds because it was easier for me?

I let out a groan, massaging my temples. I’d made such a huge mistake, and here he was, still protecting me—and Charlie!—as he guided us through death and danger. I didn’t even know how he’d done it after our betrayal. But what I did know was that I was deeply in debt and had no way to make amends or to repay Tuck for what he’d unselfishly done.