Page 134 of He Who Sleeps

"I don't know. It's one thing to be in multiples between us, but I'm not an exhibitionist in that way," he admitted. "I know I'll probably get used to it, but there's a big difference between three of these guys watching and a hundred or so strangers or people I've only met a few times."

"Maybe if we'd been raised this way, it might have made more sense," Carter said sympathetically. "If it were normal to do those kinds of thing in public, I mean. If we'd grown up seeing that, it might not be so weird to take over doing it."

"What's actually bothering you about it?" Leo asked a reasonable question for once instead of poking fun. "Is it the performance aspect? You think people are going to critique you?"

"It's not that." Finn gave her a small smile. "I know how to please my priestess. I'd never worry about that. I guess I'm mostly slightly icked out by working every day with people that have seen my dick. I don't have that European level of comfort with public nudity "

“Few do,” Emerson offered. “I don’t. I mean you guys aren’t in that equation.”

“Well there is the option of doing it behind a screen,” she offered. “Not all of them, mind you, but the ones involving sex...like actual sex...”

“And the others?” Emerson asked.

“Some are actually not sex at all. Nudity, yes, but some are just touching, holding...hell, there’s this weird one that is almost like Kama Sutra poses to act out a story between He and Gaia...”

"I'm sure you don't have to actually do them if you don't want to," Carter pointed out. "There's nothing stopping you from rewriting things in collaboration with the priests. If the idea is just to build the sacrifice and teach the young, you don't necessarily have to do it the old-fashioned way."

"You volunteering to overhaul hundreds of years' worth of rites?" Finn asked with a tired smile, but Carter shrugged.

"They must have been updated in the last few hundred years or they wouldn't be in an English we understand," he pointed out. "The priests must be used to this stuff."

"We'll think about it." Finn smiled at her. "We haven't really had a chance to talk about any of this since it happened. Just kind of caught it all on the fly and kept running."

She nodded. “You think I am excited about being this high priestess?” she offered. “Though the clothing is much more comfortable than yours.” She winked.

"We should talk about that," Carter said seriously. "How are you feeling about it? I doubt you expected any of this when you decided on your little unmasking stunt."

She considered her scarred lover. “Honestly, I didn’t think past wanting you seven. Is it a lot? Sure. Am I floored? Yes. But it also feels, I don’t know, right? I mean I don’t really have a problem with any of it, considering the past three years you guys have been, in a sense, preparing me for this.”

"Then you're dealing with it a lot better than I am," Carter laughed easily. "I still catch myself looking around in total disbelief every now and then."

"I wish our parents were here to see this," Finn said. "I think they'd be proud."

“Well, by what Elise said some of the moms are still about. Leo, you planning to see your mother? Finn? Sister?” Jack said. She knew he had hope that his own mother was around somewhere.

"Of course!" Finn said, right as Leo blurted out, "Of fucking course I am! What sort of stupid question is that?"

Emerson laughed, mirth shining in his eyes. She shook her head. “I know all of them would be proud of the men you became. Hell, I’m excited to meet them, and tell them just how much you are all loved,” she said. “Dirty fuckers that you are.”

Rix smirked at her from across the table. “And it’s exactly what you love.”

“Yes, it is. I don’t think you guys understand how important you all are to me, I mean with all of this, the only thing that really matters is I get to keep you, all of you, as mine.” And it wasn’t something she had thought would ever happen. Now part of The Order herself, she was seeing the dreams come true. “Still need to talk to the girls about it but...”

"Hopefully they'll see how happy you are and be curious about joining," Carter said.

"And I know a few guys who'd be happy to persuade them if they aren't sure," Leo laughed.

“It’s all kinda crazy, right? I mean a direct bloodline to Gaia. And our lovely little victim is part of that bloodline,” Rix said.

“Kildare said our children will be powerful in a way others in The Order haven’t been. Blessed with his favor,” she offered. “I mean if we have kids.”

"We will," Easton said happily. "I've seen it."

“What do you mean?” she asked, curiosity consuming her.

"Since He healed me, He communicates with me sometimes. Mostly guidance or reassurance, but sometimes in images that I think I'm supposed to paint. I had one of those visions the night we were in the old temple. It was a painting of you as the triple goddess—the Maiden, the Mother and the Crone. I could see you heavy with child as clear as day." He shrugged, unselfconscious about the amazed and envious ways the others were staring at him. "Somehow I knew that I must paint it and that one day it would be true."

“I...really?” she whispered. “Babies?”