Page 28

TWENTY-EIGHT

RILEY

Lexi

Merry Christmas Eve Eve!

I have a gift for you.

Me

You do?

Lexi

Yeah. It’s nothing big, so don’t get your hopes up.

But I wanted to get you something.

Me

I have a gift for you too.

Lexi

You do?

Me

Yup.

I’ll bring it with me to our session today.

Lexi

Speaking of our session, do you mind if we push our time back by thirty minutes? Hudson is having soreness in his ankle, so I’m going to tape up his foot to see if that helps. The rest of the AT staff is off for the holiday, so I’m working overtime on everyone’s aches and pain.

Me

Of course. If you’re too busy, we can push our session to after the holiday.

Lexi

Nice try, Mitchy. I’ll see you at 10:30.

* * *

I groan when I finish my last set of bridges on the treatment table. An hour of Lexi’s rigorous exercises, and my whole body is screaming at me. She didn’t show me any mercy, and when I sit up to stretch my back, the leather is covered in sweat.

“How is it these movements kick my ass more than the drills Coach used to make us do?” I take off my glasses and wipe my face with a towel, grateful when she hands me a bottle of water. “I never thought I’d take an hour of edge work drills over lifting my ass off a table ten times.”

“You’re building back the strength you lost, and I’m working parts of your body you didn’t work before. I’m not rehabbing you to just be a hockey player; I want you to be able to walk and move and jump and crawl and stand on one leg.” She tosses a towel in the hamper. “How is your lower half feeling today?”

“Fine. That quad set was hell on earth, but nothing is causing me pain.”

“That’s great to hear. Like I mentioned in one of our other sessions, as we head into the new year, I really want to focus on the exercises you’re familiar with and relate our activities to the hockey movements you would do on the ice. That’s going to give us a good baseline for your capabilities,” she says, and excitement runs through me.

I trust Lexi completely. I know the timeline she’s giving me is what’s best for me long-term, but I’m fucking stoked to hopefully get back on the ice soon. I’m not sure how it’s going to go, and I bet I’ll take a spill or two, but knowing all the time and energy I’ve put in won’t be for nothing makes me giddy.

“I can’t wait for that,” I say, and she smiles.

“We’re almost there. I’m proud of you for sticking with our routine, and I promise it’s going to pay off in the long run.”

“I trust you.” I swing my legs to the edge of the table and slide my glasses back on. “Are we finished for today?”

“Yup. You’re officially free from me until after the three-day break. How are you going to spend your time?”

“By giving you a present.” I point at my backpack shoved against the wall next to my prosthetic. “It’s in my bag.”

“You really didn’t have to get me anything,” she says, standing from her stool and walking to my bag. “It’s wildly unnecessary.”

“The same can be said for you. Besides, we’re friends. I like to get my friends gifts.”

Lexi digs through my backpack and pulls out a wrapped gift with a red bow on it. I spent too many hours wondering how I should sign the card, finally settling on a lame as fuck salutation of best, Riley .

“We are friends.” She grabs a bag that’s been hiding under one of the tables before she plops back down on the stool. “Which is why this is for you.”

“Holy shit, Lex. Whatever is in here is way too big.”

“There’s a joke somewhere in that comment.”

“Get your head out of the gutter,” I say, and she laughs.

“It’s not that big, I promise.” Lexi waves her hand in front of her face and lifts her chin. “You first.”

“No way. You open yours first.”

“If you insist.” With a smile, she reads the note on the front and tucks it in the pocket of her jacket. She rips open the wrapping paper, no rhyme or reason to her process, and my eye twitches when she rolls it into a ball and chucks it at the trash can. “You look like you’re going to be sick.”

“I didn’t know you were a goddamn savage when it came to opening gifts.”

“You’re one of those people who folds up the wrapping paper, aren’t you?”

“ No ,” I huff, offended. “But I’m more careful than that . Jesus. You’re like a goddamn windstorm.”

“That’s why you have your own bag to open. You can do whatever you want with it.” She grins and looks down at the book on her lap. “ Business Building 101: How to go from Nothing to Something .”

“You, um, mentioned you thought about starting your own Pilates studio one day. I don’t know the first thing about creating a business, but according to the internet this book does. I know it’s stupid, but I?—”

“How do you remember all the things I say?” Lexi’s gaze meets mine. “The limes. My dreams for a studio. That I played basketball when I was younger?”

“I listen,” I say.

“Most people—” She stops herself mid-sentence and hangs her head. “No one ever listens.”

“Because they suck. You shouldn’t…” I trail off, not wanting to sound like an asshole who is telling her what to do. “Don’t spend your time with people like that.”

“This is really thoughtful, Riley.” She traces over the letters in the title and curls her fingers around the spine as she brings it tight to her chest. “Thank you. I can’t wait to read it.”

“You could also use it as a doorstop. No pressure. I’m not sure how useful it’ll even be, so?—”

“Just say you’re welcome, Mitchy.” Lexi laughs. “It’s perfect. I don’t want to use it as a doorstop.”

“You’re welcome,” I mumble, embarrassed she actually likes the gift.

“It’s your turn.” She jumps on the table next to me, sets the book down, and scootches the bag my way. “There are two things in there.”

“Wait a second. We didn’t say anything about the number of gifts,” I argue.

“Exactly. We didn’t set a limit.” Her grin is sly, and it’s a shot to the chest. “Reach to the left first. It’s the smaller present.”

I follow her orders and reach into the bag. Lexi boos when I pluck the tissue paper out and neatly set it aside, and I burst out laughing. My fingers brush the corner of something sharp, and I pull out a glass picture frame.

“What is it?” I ask.

“It’s your Life List from our meal at the diner. I saved the napkin and framed it so you could have something to look at when you get out of bed in the morning. Good days and lots of memories to be had.” She shrugs, color creeping up her neck, and her dark hair curtains her face. “I figured when you accomplished something on the list, you could take it out, cross it off, and add something new.”

“Wow.” I rub a hand over my shirt and touch the glass, smiling at her swoopy handwriting and the ketchup stain in the corner. Everything I mentioned is there, forever immortalized on the unfolded piece of paper. “This is perfect.”

“It could also be used as a doorstop if you?—”

“Shut up.” I reach over and poke her side. She squeals and bats my hand away, almost falling off the table in the process. She grips my left thigh to steady herself, slow to remove her hand when she’s back upright. “I’m serious. This is really thoughtful. Thanks, Lex. I’m going to hang it in my bedroom.”

“I’m glad you like it. Open the next one.”

I put the frame on top of her book and yank out a big box out of the bag. I flip the top open and blink down at a pair of brand-new Bauer skates.

“What—” I swallow, throat unbelievably dry. “Skates?”

I shoved all of mine in the hall closet after I got home from the hospital. I haven’t looked at them since, too afraid the ghosts from my professional athlete past might come out and haunt me if I stare at them for too long.

“I’ve been working with their skate rep,” she starts, and I hear the tint of nerves in her voice. “I mentioned who the skates were for and how you need two different sizes now, and after talking with your prosthetist about your foot measurements, I ordered a pair. They’re, um, custom. The left is the size you used to wear, and the right is slightly smaller to fit your prosthetic foot. I lied the night of the gala. I know your feet aren’t the same size anymore, but I didn’t want to let on about your gift.” Her smile turns sheepish, shy. “I also like to hear you talk.”

“Shit.” A tear escapes from my eye, and I wipe it away with my thumb. “Lexi. This is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s a whole lot of fucking something.”

“I-I want you to be comfortable when you get back out there, and you won’t be comfortable in what you were skating in before. I also thought new skates, new journey? Maybe.”

I squeeze my eyes closed and drop my head back. The fluorescent lights above me don’t help, and before I know it, my shoulders are shaking. A sob works out of me, and Lexi’s arms wrap around my middle. She lets me cry, holding me until I’m out of breath and the tears stop falling.

“When I woke up after the accident and saw I lost my leg, I wanted to die,” I whisper, and Lexi holds me tighter. “I thought about it. I wondered what I could use in the hospital room to make it happen. Bed sheets were my plan. Or lying to the nurses about how much pain medication I had taken until I overdosed. It’s… it’s fucking stupid to say this, and maybe the people who have never been an athlete wouldn’t understand, but the minute I realized I couldn’t play hockey anymore, I didn’t see the point in existing. That’s all I knew. That’s all I had. That’s all I was .”

I stop to take a breath. I didn’t realize I was shaking, and I rest my cheek on top of her head. It feels fucking good to admit this to someone besides my therapist. I’m letting it out in the open, and with every word I say, I’m lighter, buoyant, so I keep talking.

“And then you and I started working together. I didn’t believe you when you said you could get me to skate again, because I couldn’t even fucking walk . On the hard days when my head is cloudy and that anger I felt in the beginning creeps up, I think it’s all a lie. I won’t be able to do it. I’m going to fail, so why even try? But now I’m looking at a pair of skates and—” I press the heel of my palm against my left eye. “I think I really can.”

“Oh, Riley.” Lexi pulls away from me and cups my face with both of her hands. Her palms are warm, smooth, and I relax under her touch. “You can. I know you can. It’s not going to be easy, but look at everything you’ve accomplished the last six months. This time next year, you’re not going to recognize yourself.”

“I’m sorry. The last time I cried over skates was when I was seven and my parents got me a new pair.” I snort out a laugh and run my fingers over the synthetic boot. “I begged for them for months.”

“I’m glad you like them. I was afraid I was overstepping, and I’d never want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You could never make me uncomfortable.” I wipe my eyes again. “This is the best gift I’ve ever gotten.”

“I, um, added something after they were delivered. On the blade holder there.” She taps the white piece of plastic connecting the blade to the skate. “It’s silly.”

“ For all the good days ,” I read. “I fucking love it, Lex. Thank you. So much. I can’t tell you how much this means to me.”

“I’m glad you like it.” Lexi squeezes me one more time and untangles our limbs. “We’ll try them out soon. I promise.”

“I can be patient. I’m willing to wait as long as I have to. Even knowing this is a possibility is beyond anything I could’ve ever imagined.”

“Riley?”

“Yeah?”

She takes my hand in hers. “I’m really glad you’re still here.”

“So am I. And I’m really glad we’re friends.” I drape an arm around her shoulder. “Merry Christmas Eve Eve, Lex.”

“Merry Christmas Eve Eve, Riley,” she whispers back, and this might be the best Christmas I’ve ever had.