Page 36

XYREK

I realized that this was hard for Alice to watch. Frygg, it was hard for me, but I had to go. I needed to see the place where she and I had taken our last breaths. I didn't care how frygging eerie it would be.

The others followed me a few respectful paces behind. Now and then, I noticed Zaarek stop, look at something, and mutter under his breath, but I was too wrapped up in my own misery to care. This was the way I had gone to see Allisaahn. The last time I hadn't walked this way, though, I had barely been able to crawl forward while a droning hum had been trying to push me down. The air pressure had been so high that it was hard to breathe, but I’d managed to make my way to Allisaahn's workshop.

I stopped.

It was right here.

The door was still attached to its metallic hinges. They were rusted, but it opened with a squeak of protest. The place was filled with dust, and a dart rushed past me, startled, but I hardly noticed. My eyes made a quick sweep of her worktable, which had fallen to the ground, slowly disintegrating. Tools, in just as bad a shape as the door, lay scattered on the ground and what was left of the workbench. Shelves had fallen from the walls or simply given in under the weight of their contents after the wood had warped and thinned. None of that touched me, though. Those were just things.

Tentatively, I walked to the spot where she and I had died. She had already been dead when I found her. The emotions of that moment threatened to choke me as if it had just happened and not… however many years ago. My heart constricted, as did my throat, making breathing hard around the thick lump that had formed inside. I knelt down on the ground. Actually, it was closer to a collapse than a controlled kneel, but I made it back down to the same spot. The spot where my heart had stopped beating and I took my last breath. Where I held my Allisaahn in my arms so long ago, there was now, but dust covering the stone floor. Had I not known that Alice was watching me, that she was only a quick ride up away from me, I would have died here for a second time, right here on the same spot. The grief of those moments hit me hard. Allisaahn. My Allisaahn!

I didn't want to touch the dust, knowing it was all that remained of her and me, but something glinted from a sudden ray of light, and I reached out. Reverently, I blew the dust off the object and picked it up. My heart felt as if it was tearing in two. No, into thousands of tiny fragments. It was being ripped apart from the inside out when I held the small bracelet up. It was forged from a yellow metal, something we called aurhym. It was highly revered as a metal to bring us closer to the gods. It was useless to do anything with but turn into pretty objects, like jewelry, a bowl, a vase, or something like that. It was too soft to use for weapons.

I’d dug the gold nugget out of the Borrog Mountains myself and melted it in the same workshop Allisaahn liked to spend so much time in. I poured all my love into it as I worked the metal for hours, forged it into a bracelet, engraved her name, and “ Love you into Eternity, Xyrek.” Allisaahn loved it. She had never taken it off.

She wore it the day she died. This was all that was left of her now. I brought it to my lips to kiss it, but it was nothing but cold metal. No spark of my Allisaahn’s energy was left in it. Her infectious laughter, the abundance with which she loved me and life—nothing but dust. I closed my eyes and saw her beautiful face dancing in front of me, smiling, teasing, calling my name. Just the way Alice did. Alice! I clung to her presence even though she wasn’t right here with me now. It was all that kept me taking in another breath and then another, all that kept me from willing my heart to stop.

Allisaahn was still with me, just like she had always been through every lifetime. She had always been my rock. Then and now. Ever so slowly, the pain in my chest receded; it didn’t go away—I knew without a doubt that it wouldn’t go away until I held Alice in my arms— but it became bearable.

Suddenly, I remembered something else. Allisaahn had made me forge a bracelet for myself. A larger one. One she engraved with the same words, Love you into Eternity, Allisaahn. I wore it when I died. It had to be here.

But where was it?

I swiped at the dust, carefully aware of its origin, but as much as I searched, there was nothing. I had worn a belt that day, with a metal ring and a sword, too. Those things should still be here.

"What are you looking for?" Zaarek asked.

"Do you remember the matching gold bands Allisaahn and I wore?"

"How could I not? Noevah gave me hell until… I made a pair for us, too," Zaarek replied, looking far away.

"Where were you?"

"I was in Ax," he said, looking at Tharaax.

"That's why I remembered seeing you." Tharaax nodded.

"We were both primarchs," Zaarek answered. "Our bands must be there in the forest somewhere."

"Mine should be here," I reiterated.

"Alright, move." Noodar pulled out a broom and a dustbin that had seen better days but were still in working condition. Reverently, he began swiping at the dust on the floor, sending apologetic glances at me, which I returned with a grim nod. It had to be done, and I wouldn't have been able to do it.

It didn't take long. There was part of a shoe left, Allisaahn's. But that was it.

Nobody asked if I was sure this was where I died. They didn't need to. We all knew that this was the spot. I wouldn't make a mistake like that.

"Now what?" Noodar asked.

I suggested, "Take us to the Borrog Mountains, and then you two can go search for the forcefield’s source and your… places of memory."

"How will we know?" Noodar asked.

I thought back to when we had cruised over this town. "You will," I promised. You will feel it in your heart and gut."

I didn't like leaving them to their own destinies, but Zaarek and I had something else to do. Besides, there wouldn't be anything we could do to help them. They would have to go through their own agony, just like Zaarek had.

Frygging Arkhevari. I was almost grateful to him now for having spared me this pain. Although if it had meant keeping him out of my head, I would have taken the pain any day.

* * *

"What exactly are we looking for?" Zaarek asked after Noodar and Tharaax dropped us off on a mountain overlooking the vale.

"I don't know. Maybe ruins of a settlement?" I guessed. The frygging Arkhevari had been damn mysterious about this. "If I ever get my hands on Zapharos, I'll wring his neck."

"You and Vraax both," Zaarek chuckled. "He's not a big fan of him either."

"At least he wasn't in his head," I muttered.

"No, but he stunned him. A close second would be my guess."

I used my comm to scan the horizons, the gorge below us, the river that ran between the mountains all the way down, its banks overgrown with trees, bushes, and plants. Blips indicated signs of life below, which was to be expected. This area had always teemed with wildlife. After twenty thousand years, I was sure the animals must have made a big comeback. Contrary to the Darlams, they hadn't been hunted down by the Ohrurs. They had only been collateral damage.

Zaarek did the same, scanning the mountains and zooming in on cliffs and rocks. "I see some caves," he offered.

Since I didn't have any better ideas, I agreed that we should go check them out.

"We should have kept Noodar around for a bit longer," Zaarek complained as we climbed down the mountain. He was right, too. Once we were down at ground level, we had to figure out how to cross the river and then climb up the other mountain.

"This could take days," I agreed, stopping to catch my breath.

It was a beautiful place. No other place in the universe compared to Darlam.

"Hold on," Zaarek's hand shot forward, hitting my chest to stop me in place.

"What?"

"There," he pointed at a spot where several boulders lay in the river, almost as if they had been placed there on purpose. I squinted. Something silver glinted from the tree line, and then… I stopped breathing.

"I'll be damned," I cursed.

"You guys seeing this?" Zaarek asked over the comm.

"Very clearly," Sloane replied.

"Oh my God, is that a Darlam?" Zoe cried.

"Nock, if I have to tell you one more time, I'm taking it away from you," Sloane yelled.

"He better not be streaming this," Zaarek muttered.

"Let's go down there and talk to him," I suggested, then stopped as more Darlams—females, males, and children — made their way to the river.

"Get Noodar back," I pressed out, telling Sloane.

"On it," she agreed.

"No, wait," Zaarek cautioned. "They look like they've already been spooked. If Noodar comes back, they'll run and probably never come back. Let's just walk down there and see if we can make contact."

"And that's why you were the primarch," I said, smirking. It wasn't meant just as a joke. Zaarek had always been more considerate of situations than I had been.

"Excellent suggestion," Sloane agreed. "But be careful."

"Yes, Commander." Zaarek grinned at me.

"Absolutely, Commander." I grinned right back at Zaarek.

"Assholes," Sloane cursed, but I could hear the smirk in her voice.