Page 11

ALICE

Seeing Josie's annoyed face made up for the quiet whispering around us and the glares directed at me when Xyrek and I made our way to the nutrition station. True to our agreement, he was holding my hand. And damn, it felt good.

Not as good as the kiss… nope, I had sworn to myself I would not think about that kiss again. Not ever. Because… fuck! That kiss!

I grinned to myself when Josie entered Xyrek's quarters the moment I left. Contrary to Josie, everybody aboard the ship knew that Xyrek wasn't interested in her. He surprised me when he came after me, and I won't lie, he surprised me even more with his question, but the moment I said anything , I had an idea of what he was asking. I would like to say I knew he was going to ask me to be his fake girlfriend, but I didn't. At that moment, I was just weak. Trying to move through the dense throng of people grated on me. I hated crowds. I hated confined spaces, and I meant it when Xyrek asked me what I was willing to do. Anything . I would have done anything for some space. For some quiet. At least until we returned to his quarters, that's when I realized that I wasn't willing to do that . No matter how much his kiss had aroused me. I crossed my arms to hide my puckered nipples because, damn! That kiss had been beyond hot. He had literally swept me off my feet. Not only that, but when he held me, I had gotten a feel of his immense muscles, and boy, had that been a turn-on.

Not in a million years would I have assumed he would truly let me have the bed, but after our little conversation, he made himself comfy in the bean bag chair while I luxuriated in lying on a mattress for the first time in months. Had he not kissed me just before, I would have said the experience was orgasmic, but he had turned my body into a yearning mess that craved an orgasm with every fiber, so no, it wasn't quite as orgasmic as it could have been.

He excused himself not long after and went into the bathroom for what seemed a long time. Had it not been him, I would have suspected he was taking care of business in there, but this was Xyrek, an arrogant asshole who wasn't fazed by anything.

I must have fallen asleep while he was still in the bathroom because when I woke later, the lights were already dimming, and my stomach was grumbling.

So now here we were, weaving our way through people who were trying to find a spot for the night. A small rush of guilt moved through me that I would be spending the night in a bed while the others… that was as far as my regret went because I wasn't about to give up my good fortune.

Tom had finally seen some sense and allowed Ava to use one of the beds in the other three rooms because of her pregnancy, so I didn't have to feel any guilt about her. Three of the newcomers were in bad shape—even after Xyrek used the healing wand—so they too received a bed, well, two shared one. But at least I didn't have to feel guilty for them either. The rest of them? Even if I had thought Xyrek might go for it, I wouldn't have traded with any of them. Selfish? Maybe, but I deserved to be a little selfish right then.

More people lingered in the breakroom, lining up like spoons on the ground, not leaving much room to navigate to the nutrition dispensers.

"Wait here," Xyrek let go of my hand by the entrance and forged his way forward. Contemplative, I stared at his muscular back. He had surprised me twice now with his chivalry. First, the bed, and now, he was getting me food. I didn't like the idea of him being nice. That made it too easy to truly fall for him.

It was bad enough carrying these damn mating marks on my body and wondering what they meant, why they chose me and him. As a rational person, I was still grappling with the possibility that something like a higher will might exist. Or destiny, or whatever. All my life, I have been a logical person, a realist. I forced myself to see my family for what they were, forced myself to leave them behind before they would take me down with them. It helped that I wasn’t the nourishing type and didn’t have a good Samaritan complex. Otherwise, I would have stayed and probably become addicted to meth as well, just like my siblings. I rationalized that my leaving wasn't condemning them in any way; they chose their own paths. I just refused to be dragged down with them. It had taken logic to leave. And now I was being confronted with something that defied all logic and rationality—I still preferred to think the black lines were just a disease. A strange disease for sure, but that was easier to digest than the alternative.

Two days , I told myself. In two days, you'll be leaving him, or he’ll leave you, whatever . The fact of the matter was that in two days, we would land on Astrionis and not see each other again. Ever. So there was no sense, absolutely none, to pine for him. My traitorous body could go to hell for all I cared as long as my heart remained mine.

I tried to entice myself with the idea that in two days, I could pick any man and have all the sex my body needed. Any man, as long as it wasn't him . Just hold out , I promised, just a few more days. Please don't fall for the hunk bringing me food right now. Please! He was main character material, and I really, really didn't want to be the main character.

"Let's eat in my quarters," he said, balancing the food on a tray with one hand and placing the palm of his other on my lower back to guide me.

"Whore!" the whispered sound was loud through the quiet of the room. I stiffened. It wasn't that the word hurt or even stung; it was the hateful tone in which it was pressed out that sent shivers down my spine.

"Who said that?" Xyrek exploded.

He pressed the tray into my hands and marched through a group of people sitting on the floor. They quickly scattered to get out of his way.

"Xyrek, it's okay," I tried to call him back, but he had already homed in on his target. Tom.

I was more surprised that Tom would have called me a name like that than anything. I knew he didn't like me. Hell, the feeling was mutual, but the way he said it dripped with hate.

Xyrek reached him and picked him up by his collar, and I mean up. All the way into the air. "Do you want to repeat to me what you just said?"

Tom was choking, the collar pulled tight around his throat. He made an attempt to shake his head, but only coughs escaped his lips.

"Xyrek, really, it's okay," I tried one more time, making my way through the groups of people staring in shock while balancing the damn tray.

Xyrek shook Tom. "If that's your opinion, I can let you off on the next asteroid we cross."

"N-ooh," Tom coughed, while his feet helplessly kicked in the air.

"You're nothing but a piece of space trash." Xyrek shook him some more when I reached him.

"Please, Xyrek, stop. You're killing him."

"He deserves to die," Xyrek snarled without looking at me.

"He's not worth it," I pleaded, unsure why. It wasn't as if I gave a shit about Tom, or any of the others, besides Ava, but he sure as hell didn't deserve to die like this. Not for saying something we had manufactured to make him believe.

Xyrek's gaze turned to me; his black eyes glowed, and I could have sworn I saw flames dancing inside them. His jaw was clenched tightly; he was furious. I had never seen him this mad before.

"Nobody calls you a derogatory name and lives," he pressed out.

"It's only derogatory if we allow it to be," I reasoned.

"Little frygg. You better acknowledge who just saved your miserable life," Xyrek spat and flung Tom against the wall as if he weighed nothing, instead of being a two-hundred-pound man built like a linebacker. People scrambled to the side. A crack announced that he had probably broken something, but his screams announced that he was still very much alive.

"Get a healing wand," Xyrek snarled at no one in particular, then he took the tray from my hand and replaced his hand back at the small of my back, so incredibly gently, as if nothing had happened.

We made it back into his quarters, where he put the tray on the table.

"Why did you do that?" I wanted to know as soon as the door shut behind us.

"Nobody gets to call you derogatory words," he repeated his earlier statement.

"How do you know they weren't talking about you?" I thought putting some humor into the discussion might lighten the mood.

I was wrong.

He spun around, his features tensed in anger. "Don't try to make excuses for the little frygg, and don't try to humor me."

"Alright," I raised both hands in the air to show I didn't mean any harm.

He ran his hand through his hair, stopped at the top, and moved it down to rub his neck. "I didn't mean to frighten you."

Now, that was funny. "You didn't frighten me. I just didn't want to watch you kill someone."

He cocked his head to the side, "That's what I do."

I shrugged, "I know. I watched you kill plenty of Cryons."

He stepped closer to me; his face was still set in an angry mask. My heart hitched slightly, but I refused to let him see that he intimidated me.

"How come you're not scared of me?"

"Who says I'm not?" I countered.

He leaned in closer, and his eyes pierced mine as he studied them hard. I swallowed but forced myself not to take a step back.

"You are a strange creature," he finally decided. He walked to the table, sat down, and began digging into his food. "Come, eat."

I wasn't hungry anymore, but I sat down, not wanting to aggravate him any further. Nothing about the mush on my plate did anything to bring my appetite back, but I dug my spork into the mess and forced myself to chew and swallow. No matter what, it was still food and nourishment.