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XYREK

For good measure, the bots were locked into a storage area, where they wouldn't be able to do much damage should they power back on. Alice assured us that she would check their on and off switches as soon as we were done talking. As it turned out, that took all night, and we still weren’t done.

"You guys go get some sleep. I'll make a quick scouting trip to see how many Ohrurs we're dealing with," Raasla offered.

"You're just as tired as the rest of us. Take a break. We can scout later," Tharaax said.

"You're welcome to stay with us. We have enough quarters available here," Noodar offered. "You two can have your own, like the others. They brought all their things aboard, and their ships are tethered close by. You're welcome to do the same."

"Thank you." It sounded reasonable for all of us to be together. I looked at Alice, but she was in a deep conversation with Zoe and Nova, laughing at something one of them had said. “That would be nice,” I agreed.

The night hadn’t yielded much new information, which was a surprise to me, but we were able to figure out some of the missing pieces. All of them had foggy memories of training, but my insights helped them realize how it had actually worked. Sloane pieced even more together. She explained that the Ohrurs had most likely kept us in a sort of slumber between training sessions to overrule our instincts not to fight. Over time, she said, the Ohrurs applied so much brainwashing that we became different people. What we still didn't know was, different from what? Were we clones? Lab-grown? Or both?

"They suppressed all your memories and encoded your brains to make it start hurting whenever you tried to remember. It's actually quite brilliant. Over time, you trained yourselves not to remember."

Sloane was right. It was brilliant, from the Ohrur's perspective. But when it happened to you, you didn't agree with it that much. She explained further, "Thankfully, their hold wears off after a period of years. Twenty to thirty seems to be the magic number."

That, too, made sense. Noodar and I were the oldest working Space Guardians in the group, and he and I seemed to remember the most. It might also explain why and how I had gone through such an onslaught of memories. The dam holding them back had already been breaking, little by little. It had been only a matter of time before it failed completely. I wondered if it had been like this for the other Space Guardians my new friends told me about—the ones who had turned to the Ohrurs in confusion and had been terminated for it.

One thing still didn’t make sense: I still looked younger than Zaarek. Well, that and a lot of other things. But it was progress.

I was also astonished to learn that the others had three Ohrurs in their possession. It explained why Possedion and Moddekdum had vanished.

"Okay, but what I don't get is, let's say the boys were in their twenties when they were killed." Zoe's voice hitched slightly at the last word. It didn't sit right with any of us. "So then they were cloned or whatever, and then they worked for the Ohrurs for twenty to thirty years. That would mean every man here would be in his forties or fifties."

My mind was slow to figure out what she was driving at, but when it did, it was an aha moment.

"You don't look forty or fifty, Zaarek." I looked at my brother, still searching his eyes for the love that had once been there, but there was nothing—raising my anger anew against the Ohrurs. They had taken our mates, memories, and even our brothers and sisters from us.

"I don't," he scrutinized me, "but you… maybe…" The small smirk my brother used to wear when he was teasing me was still there, and it lightened my heart. He might have forgotten me, but I could tell that he still loved me—even if that love lay dormant right now.

I chuckled, "Nice try."

He grinned, and for a tick, just a tick, it was like being back on Darlam. He looked at me, really looked at me, and I saw something flicker in his eyes before he grabbed his head, "Frygg!"

"Easy, big boy, easy," Nova was right by his side, massaging his neck. "It's okay."

I hadn't thought I would feel indebted to Zapharos, but not bearing these headaches was a blessing. Not that I would ever thank him if I saw him. At least not before I broke his neck for invading my head.

"Just a memory. I'm okay," Zaarek smiled at Nova, and the way she looked back at him, I could see Noevah in her. We are all here . That thought warmed my heart. No matter how or in what form, we are here .

It amazed me that the others had already figured out all the mated bond secrets and how our names were woven into the Soulweb bonds.

"For a moment, I saw you, Xyrek," Zaarek said, "in the forest. We were…" he shook his head, his face contorted.

"It's okay. Don't try to remember; it's okay," I said, alarmed. He looked like he was in a lot of pain.

"In… the forest…" he pushed out.

"Zaarek, please," Nova pleaded with him. He waved her hand off. A grin formed, at odds with his pained expression. “We were looking for… mushrooms—for Mom!"

I remembered. My lips curved. "We got the wrong ones, and everybody had diarrhea for days."

"They tasted… good though," he pressed the words out.

Sloane grabbed a healing wand and waved it over his head. But it didn't seem to help.

"Press your mating marks to his," Sloane told Nova.

I felt helpless, watching my brother in that much pain. The Ohrurs would pay for what they had done to us—were still doing to us.

Zaarek’s facial features relaxed as soon as Nova pushed her arm against his.

"Take a deep breath." Sloane nudged. "That's good. Now, another. Tell us about those mushrooms."

"Are you out of your mind?" Nova erupted. "He needs to rest, he needs to?—"

"Remember," Sloane interrupted unforgivingly. "They all do. This is not going to get any better, otherwise. Unless," she turned to me, "you have any way of contacting Zapharos."

"I'm not inviting that frygg back into my head." I cursed.

"If it helps the others?" Alice grabbed my arm. I shook my head, but her pleading eyes got to me. So did my brother's pain. Frygg. "I don't know how."

"Well, try. In the meantime, you guys," Sloane looked to each of the others, "need to try very hard to break through that memory barrier." She held up a hand to ward off any protests. "I don't care how much it hurts."

That was one tough female.

“Wait, before you leave.” Nova stopped us. “Alice, what do you remember?"

Alice paused, “Not much. Most of it is more like a feeling, like remembering a dream, you know?”

The other females watched Alice as expectantly as Nova; they all nodded like they knew exactly what she was talking about, and they probably did.

“Why, do you remember anything?”

“Hannah does, bits and pieces; for the rest of us, it’s more like you said. A feeling, a yearning, a breath of something that isn’t there,” Zoe tried to explain.

“It doesn’t make any sense; if we all died, then why are the men the only ones regaining memories of their past lives?” Nova said. Her words shook me to the core, but not as much as what Sloane asked next.

“The better question is, if we all keep reincarnating, why do the men only remember their last life?”